Determine who you want to become, what you want to accomplish, and what your idea of truly living is; then, everything that goes against that narrative, isn’t done.
This list is about those things that you shouldn’t do if you want to become great at anything, even if that ‘great’ is becoming excellent at living well. Each of the things on this list have become commonplace, but in the life of a man who wants to be something, they shouldn’t be found.
Go through the list, determine what you can remove from your life and simply remove it. Don’t spend any more time wasted on something that holds you back from becoming the man that your dreams, goals, and passions in life demand you become.
Heck, spend not a second more thinking like the man who you’d deem a failure if we could fast forward a few decades.
Time is everything. You don’t get any more of it. Thus, having a clear cut idea of what deserves your time and attention is necessary if you want to live a flourishing life.
1. Worrying about what other people think of them, what they’re doing, what they’re pursuing.
The opinions of others shouldn’t matter in the slightest. Often times it’s another person’s weakness that makes them comment negatively on what you’re doing or what you should do.
This avoidance of the influence of others if their ideas for you oppose your own, should include advice giving as well. Be careful about asking for advice. If you genuinely want another perspective, good; however, if you’re looking for an excuse not to do what you know you have to do, don’t seek another opinion.
Deep down you know what you have to do and why you have to do it. Don’t let weak minds get in the way of who you’re trying to become and what you’re attempting to accomplish.
2. Talking about other people.
Great men talk about ideas; cowards talk about other people. (Read This: 3 Lessons You Can Learn from Great Men)
If you’re searching for something to talk about and something someone else is doing comes to mind, just shut up. If you feel a need to fill the void that you feel when silence is around you, keep quiet. Silence is better than gossip. Men don’t gossip.
You have too much to do to be focused on what others are doing.
Don’t be one of the people you want to avoid. Those that talk behind your back and try to tear you down. It’s a waste of your time and energy. It in no way makes you a better man, so don’t do it.
3. Envying other people.
Do not envy. Envy isn’t something that men do. We don’t look at our neighbour and wish we were them. We don’t envy what others have gotten.
You have to understand that where you are is where you deserve to be. For good or for bad you’re where you are with what you have for a reason. It’s a warranted reason.
If you want things to change, change them, don’t envy what others have done.
To take this further, understand what you have! Appreciate everything that’s good in your life. The grass is never as green as it seems on the other side of the fence. Start focusing on your life and stop worrying yourself with the things others are doing, have done, or have bought.
4. Wishing things were different.
Things are as they are. Accept them. If you cannot accept your reality, you have no hope in hell of taking the actions necessary to improve it.
To wish things were different is an utterly stupid waste of time. It puts you in the victim mentality. It makes you pity your situation. Have you ever met a man who’s doing great things, or even a guy that you respect, who pity’s himself?
Have you ever met a man you look up to who wishes his life was different?
Don’t be that guy. Instead, accept your reality and start working toward making it a better one. Being in a position of control is strong, to give that control over to fait, to dreams, wishes, is weak.
5. Watching filth.
You are what you watch, what you put into your brain. The crap we put into our minds is astonishing. Take porn, for example. It changes how you think about sex, what you expect from sex, and often times it takes away your desire for real sex. It’s a weird thing to watch. It shouldn’t be watched; it should be done (sex, that is). (Read This: Does Porn Have a Place in a Man’s Life?)
Be careful and purposeful about what you watch. TV or internet videos shouldn’t take up very much of your time at all. For the most part they’re a complete waste.
That being said it’s nice to relax, sit back, and laugh. Be discerning about what you watch, though. Don’t frivolously watch whatever’s on. It’s a much better use of your time to pick up a good book.
6. Spending money to impress people, anyone, especially women.
I get daily emails from guys asking about impressing women, or how to get women.
It actually has nothing to do with the lady, and everything to do with who you are, not what you’re wearing or the smooth lines you can spew. Be a man who’s going somewhere, doing something, and making something of himself and use of his time.
That is a far better way to nab your ideal lady, by becoming worthy of a great gal.
Don’t spend your time or money trying to be what you think they want you to be. It isn’t genuine. It isn’t who you are and it’s a waste of time, money, and energy in doing so.
7. Getting other people to do stuff for you.
Learn how to become self-reliant, not dependent.
Too many in our society today – myself included – depend on others to survive. We have butchers that trim our animals, ranchers that raise and kill our beef, farmers that provide our veggies, mechanics that fix our cars, roofers that fix our roofs, and so forth.
We’re less self-reliant than ever before. Life is pretty damn easy if you’re in the west. The point is to make it less easy. Ease creates weakness and more dependence.
It’s an odd one on the list, but it’s often a waste of your time to get others to do things for you.
In business it’s a great thing. You want to delegate the things within your business that you’re not good at. It’s better for you to become great at something, than mediocre at a lot of things. However, being a man is being independent. You have to be able to take care of your own.
Whining and complaining shouldn’t take up even a second of your day.
Change your perspective of who you are. It takes a second, but it’s something you have to do if you want to become what you want to be.
We all have an ideal, a vision of the guy we can be if only…
Well, be, don’t wish.
Become the guy you want to become by doing what he does. That means becoming more disciplined, spending more time thinking and acting and doing and less time whining and wishing and complaining.
A lot of this stuff has to do with self-awareness and then the courage to take the right action.
Be in tune with how you think. If you catch yourself being negative, if you even hear yourself thinking about complaining, stop right there and do something to change your thought process.
Hate does nothing to the focus of the hate. If you hate someone or something, that hate eats away at you, it’s a cancer.
With that said, there are things that shouldn’t be tolerated. As a man, you’re often the weapon to take away the evil that should be taken away, rooted out and disposed of like any cancer.
Don’t hate, but don’t accept things as they are if they don’t fit your ideals and values, do something to change them.
Avoidance is a waste of time.
Too many people live their life in avoidance of who they can become by ignoring what must be done.
Determine what it is you want to do, and who it is you want to become. From there, identify that massive actions that must be taken for this goal to be your reality. Do not live a life of avoidance of the hard work, the risk, the dangers that have to be faced. (Read This: 4 Fears Every Guy’s Gotta Face)
The bigger your goals are, the more fears you’re going to have to face, the more work you’re going to have to do, the more risk you’re going to have to take on.
This avoidance has to be brought to a micro level as well. Don’t avoid things that need to be done, period. Don’t avoid chores. Don’t avoid fixing things in your house. Don’t avoid anything.
Just do what you’ve got to do. It’s simple. It’s something that’s becoming less frequent.
Do The Right Thing. Don’t Do The Wrong Thing.
Some things deserve your attention and effort, others don’t.
You don’t need advice on what you should avoid, you just need to spend time thinking about what demands your attention. You know what you want to be, and who you want to become. Deep down you also know when you’re wasting your time.
Have the courage not to waste time.
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.