I broke one of my golden rules and took to surfing the Facebook for a few minutes the other day. A video on the feed came up with ‘man up’ in the title, so I clicked and listened.
The fella in the video was saying some things that sounded nice and good and well-intentioned. It was his response to the call-to-action and the various scenarios where it doesn’t apply.
He made a few points before I got the gist and shut it off.
One, that you can’t ‘man up’ clinical depression.
Well, according to his book the Depression Cure, Steven Illardi proves you literally can man up and conquer even what we deem as clinical depression due to its origins in a way of life and not in a predetermined illness.
Becoming more active has the same effect as the best and most common anti-depression pills, without all of the negative and potentially deadly side-effects. Changing the way you think and deal with problems can conquer much of the cloud that hangs over our lives. Getting enough dietary fats – especially omega 3’s – can help with your brain health.
The point is that to man up isn’t to shut up and carry on. To man up is to take responsibility for every single thing in your life, and a life lived in control is a life where problems are solved and obstacles are conquered. Talking about whatever the hell is going on in your head is what is means to man up. But at the same time, buying a book like The Depression Cure, or doing your own research about whatever it is you’re going through, finding a solution rather than sitting in silence, wallowing in sadness, depression, or self-pity, is what it means to man up!
He says that you can’t ‘man up’ about being bullied. Well, that’s exactly what you can and should do. The only solution to bullying starts with the individual being bullied. The bully won’t stop unless he’s stopped. Telling on the bully will only position you as a victim, reaffirming that yes, you’re the fella that should be bullied.
Stopping a bully early in your life starts a trend that you can’t be bullied. Allowing bullying to exist by not stopping it yourself starts a trend that you’re going to be bullied for the entirety of your life.
So yes, you should man up and take matters into your own hands. That isn’t to say that I’m not compassionate about the fella being bullied. I’ve been there. I’ve been picked on. I got picked on when I was younger. The solution was to punch the bully in the face. Most of the time that meant me getting in trouble. Sometimes I took as much as I got. But every single time I knocked his block off that bully became a buddy.
The rest of the world will side with you and coddle you, telling you that you’re a victim. You’re not. You’re a man or soon to be man. You are not a fucking victim, so stop allowing people to see you as such or treat you as such.
Stand up for yourself. Man up.
He goes on. The list he presents are instances where someone is victimized, but rather than not becoming a victim, he essentially says that’s not the individual’s duty.
But it is.
It is your duty to climb out of your despair. It is your duty to not get bullied anymore. It is your duty to become a success. It is your duty to work hard. It is your duty not only to carry your load, but to carry the loads of others, of your dependents, of your tribe. It is your duty to protect and to defend and to provide for others.
There’s a lot on your shoulders, as a man. That’s how it is. It shouldn’t be any different. You should want it to be so, you shouldn’t run away from all that is on your shoulders.
So yes, the answer to everything is to man up because to man up is to take responsibility for whatever is going on in your life.
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.