I’m sitting at my desk when I receive a text from my old man’s best pal. It’s an article entitled, ‘Traditional masculinity‘ causes ‘homophobia’, ‘bullying’: Report, in the Toronto Star.
This is too far, is my response as I glance over an article that essentially says that what men are genetically programmed to be, what men have achieved, the achievements that have led to the highest quality of life in our history as humans, is bad. The article is in response to a new report from the American Psychological Association (APA) that says traditional masculinity is wrong.
Only the Strong Survive
Fact: we’re here today because of men with traditional masculine values. If they didn’t have them, they’d die. If we don’t have them, we lose, and our family suffers, as does our society.
That said, let’s hear this group of quacks out with an open mind.
What are the harmful aspects of traditional masculinity?
Let’s first highlight some facts. It’s better to be strong than it is to be weak. It’s better to be tough than it is to be soft. If you’re weak and soft you’re going to quit, fail, you won’t be able to support your family, you don’t be able to compete against adverseries who are tough and strong, and you won’t be happy.
So what does the organization say are the harmful aspects of masculinity?
“The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity – marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression – is, on the whole, harmful.”
This displays the laughable idiocy of organizations like the APA. They list four incredibly important and beneficial attributes that serve anyone, let alone men trying to make it in the world, trying to better the world, trying to protect and provide for their family.
Competitiveness has resulted in every major and minor evolution in our species, in technology, and as a society. Without competitiveness we’d still be hunting with our hands. Without competitiveness, people don’t want to improve their life, and a life that isn’t improved isn’t really a life, it’s an existence, and acceptance that you have no control over anything. Life without competition is simply hell.
Dominanceisn’t really a masculine trait, especially not a traditional masculine trait. For thousands of years a man’s primary goal was to protect his family, provide for his family, and build his family. Family always came first. To dominate them wasn’t his objective. Even men who craved power, they simply craved power, it wasn’t the domination of others, it was fulfilling what they saw as their reason for being here. And this was only a very minute few. The Roman Definition for Masculinity is excellence in all things – that’s as traditional as you can get, Ancient Rome, how is striving for excellence in all things bad?
Aggression is a beautiful and wildly necessary attribute. It’s the best antidote to fear you can have. Aggression can defeat a bully, it can conquer an obstacle, it can move a man forward when he would otherwise be paralyzed by fear. Fear and aggression cannot coexist, so what you’re saying is that we’re better off afraid?
Man Are Men Because of Our Balls
Quite literally, the differences between men and women are the result of testosterone. Testosterone led to changes in our brain, or physiology and physique and thus, our role. We’re typically bigger and stronger, we also can’t have babies. Thus, it has been our sole role for thousands of years to hunt and gather. We also defend.
You cannot change what and who a man is. If he’s ambitious, don’t quell it. If he’s tough, help him develop it further. If he’s weak, make him tough, because weakness – as they’ve said – isn’t a masculine trait.
More from the article, this is gold:
“Traditional masculinity ideology has been shown to limit males’ psychological development, constrain their behaviour, result in gender role strain and gender role conflict, and negatively influence mental health and physical health,” the report warns.
Among the pillars of “masculinity ideology” are “anti-femininity, achievement, eschewal of the appearance of weakness, and adventure, risk, and violence.”
Ah, the “gender role straing and gender role conflict” that masculine men go through (NONSENSE). Gender roles aren’t real. Men are men, women are women. We’re not acting, we’re not confining ourselves to a certain way to act. We act as we do because we are men, and the best thing you can tell a boy is to man up, he’ll know exactly what it means, it means to stop complaining and work harder. It means to not be a pussy and to be tough – well done! When has toughness ever harmed anyone?
Let’s also keep in mind that this is the same APA that deemed pedofilia was a ‘sexual orientation’, something they later claimed was a typo (nonsense). So they’re not exactly credible.
There is no role strain or conflict. This is something made up and very new. It’s the result of the blurring of genders and the making up of new ones to aphese confused people – and I’m not attacking people with gender dysphoria, or transgenderism, it’s just that they make up a very small part of the population, maybe 0.01% of 0.01%, so to say that men and young men have conflicts about their role is a dubious and harmful claim. You’re trying to treat the majority like they’re a minute fraction of a minority.
It’s the wrong way to deal with this.
Anti-feminity? Of course! What man would want to be feminine. Adventure, how in God’s name is that a bad pursuit? Risk? We’re more prone to risk because of our testosterone levels, it’s a very direct result of something we innately have, so to deny that we’re more aggressive, more prone to risk, and that we even enjoy violence, is to tell men and boys to be something they are not.
The APA is telling transgenders to be who they think they are, while at the same time telling men that being who they are isn’t healthy, and that they should actually turn their back on who they are and try to be more feminine.
You know what’s coming…
The attributes that the APA hate most are effects of testosterone. The limitation of testosterone is a cure to these awesome and wonderful side effects. It’s a wonder when they’re start prescribing estrogen pills to men to change their harmful behaviors.
“Though men benefit from patriarchy, they are also impinged upon by patriarchy,” said Ronald F. Levant, EdD, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron and co-editor of the APA volume The Psychology of Men and Masculinities.
Here’s what’s wrong with this statement from the start: There Is No Patriarchy.
Here’s a look at the most dangerous jobs in America (not including being a soldier)…
Here’s a nice stat sheet for the ‘oppressed’ and hyper sensitive women of the #metoo movement.
Yes, men, the creators of this patriarchy also actively sought out the most dangerous jobs. They’re so privilaged that they decided they’d die at a higher rate than women. Not in the graph above is the fact that men commit suicide twice as much as women, maybe more.
This is also a dangerous narative for the survival of our species. For thousands of years men and women have been working together to raise families and tribes and communities and nations. We have not bee in opposition, nor have we thought of ourselves as opponents. We literally need one another to create a family, to grow a family, and to extend the species.
Yet, organizations like the APA, whom the government – especially the schooling system – holds in high regard when it comes to making policies – DANGEROUS – wants to pit men against women, it wants to create a patriarchy that doesn’t exist.
The result, of course, will be that our boys will be taught to be women and more feminine in schools, especially public schools. All forms of masculinity will be taken out of state-funded institutions. And being straight will eventually be outlawed at this rate.
The lunacy is incredible.
A year ago I was on my lawn doing some yardwork when a woman approached me. She was doing the census. She asked if she could ask me some questions. I obliged, and the first question was, “Are you a man or woman or other?”
My heart dropped, what a ridiculous question. What a ridiculous question for her to have to ask, and I told her so. She agreed. She’d asked thousands of people that question and almost all of them had the same response, and not one of them answered the question differently than their appearance would convey. She went on to say that her son is in public school, and they now have a third washroom for the third gender that doesn’t exist.
You’re Doing More Harm Than Good, APA
I don’t think this report is aimed to help anyone. To deny people the right to be who they are, and not just who they think they are, but who they actually are, and to dency the truths about the goodness of masculinity, to paint it with a bad brush, and to pit men and women against one another, is insidenous.
There’s no attempt to do good by saying that traditional masculinity is harmful.
There is only evil.
You’re setting up policies that would create more victims. We do not need more victims. And then there’s suicide.
Women attempt suicide about twice as frequent as men do, and yet men are up to 75% more successful. The reason is that we attempt suicide by violent means, because we’re more violent. Now you may say that by making men soft, you’re going to diminish that success rate. No, because women attempt suicide far more than men, by making men act like women you’re simply going to increase their rate of attempts while at the same time removing from them the values that helped men cope with the weight of the world.
Suicide is on the rise, not on the decline. The Greatest Generation, who had to deal with the Great Depression and then the Second World War, committed suicide less than we do today. The problem isn’t that we’re too masculine, it’s that we’re not masculine enough.
Men do not need an excuse. We do not need to talk more about our feelings. We need a purpose. We need a challenge. We need to feel like men.
By getting them young and influencing their behavior – which is what I suspect an organization like this will aim to do by influencing public school policy – you’re going to create far more confusion, while also compounding an inability to deal with it.
Without the stoicism, the toughness, the grit, the ability to endure and persist, the values that are traditional masculinity, you remove a young man’s ability to cope with the brutality and toughness of life. You will increase suicide rates. You will increase the amount of men taking medication for depression. You will increase the number of men who can’t take care of their families. You will degrade an entire section of society and relagate them to the pitiful state of victimhood.
That said, you’ll also have far more patients paying you hourly fees, likely government-subsidized because this will turn into an epidemic of soft males who cannot lead industries or households and will fold under the pressure, unlike those great men of the Greatest Generation who faced far tougher obstacles.
Maybe that’s your aim.
Why You Need More Testosterone, Aggression, Competition, and Stoicism
Alright, I got all of that out. And I don’t even think I cussed.
So, the battle lines have been drawn. We can see what they’re doing, where the end goal is, or where this will lead.
They want to rid our society of the virtuous and good, the masculine values that created the first great nations in history, defended against Nazism, Communism, and Socialism, that allowed all races and religions the same opportunity, the pursuit of happiness. And I’d also add, the pursuit of wealth, success, and greatness.
While the right to this pursuit was won and created by great men and great women, and the masculine values they took to court, to the battlefield, to a new land, you will only win the pursuit with the masculine values that organizations like the APA aim to destroy.
The same goes for your sons.
While they influence government and education policy and practice, you have to be dilligent. You have to actively seek out ways to create the strong, stoic, powerful, reliable, dependable, ‘archaic’, masculine man that you are genetically hardwired to become.
For those that want to develop such virtues, we go through them in The Average to Alpha Tribe, with a course calld the Barbarian Virtues, modelled after this Theodore Roosevelt quote:
“Over-sentimentality, over-softness, in fact washiness and mushiness are the great dangers of this age and of this people. Unless we keep the barbarian virtues, gaining the civilized ones will be of little avail.”
And I’ve created a Tribe of sorts to develop them through trials, by adopting a tougher life, rather than an easier one.
Like I mention in my book, The Man Diet (grab your free copy here), not only is your T-count decreasing generationally, meaning that you probably have less testosterone than your father did and your father has less testosterone than his father did, etc., but your testosterone levels are also decreasing as you get older – specifically when you reach 30-years old. Which is why it’s important that you don’t contribute to the decline…
If you want to keep your testosterone levels at their highest, you need to refrain from doing the following…
Here are the 30 worst things you can do for your testosterone levels after 30.
1. Watch Your Cholesterol
You’ve probably been told your entire life that you need to make sure you don’t eat too much cholesterol. After all, that was the main draw for Honey Nut Cherrios at one point in time, wasn’t it?
But when it comes to your testosterone levels, it’s essential for you to consume plenty of dietary cholesterol in the form of whole eggs, organic bacon and grass-fed beef as studies have shown there is a direct correlation between the amount of cholesterol you consume and the health of your testosterone levels.
2. Work Late
Working late probably wasn’t as destructive to your testosterone levels when you were in your early 20’s as it is when you begin to hover around the 30-year old mark.
Working late and causing your sleep to suffer is one of the top reasons why testosterone levels are low in men these days. Studies have shown a direct link between the amount of time you sleep and the amount of testosterone your body produces because, well, most of your testosterone is produced while you sleep.
Working late is one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone. Exercise some self-control and put a nightly limit on when you’ll stop working.
3. Hang Out on Your Phone
The recent rise in technology is another reason why testosterone levels are suffering, for two reasons in particular: One, you lay in bed staring at your phone, elevating your cortisol levels, and as a result you have a hard time falling asleep. Two, you spend more time on your phone playing games than you do actually living your life.
A sedentary lifestyle will kill your testosterone levels, and so will lack of sleep. Put your phone away as often as you can and live your life like a man. Your testosterone levels will thank you for it.
4. Sweat the Small Stuff
If you stress out about everything, you’ll obliterate your T-count. See, when you stress, your cortisol levels increase, which is big problem because cortisol is your testosterone’s kryptonite. When they increase, your testosterone levels decrease.
One of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels is to sweat the small stuff. So quit getting pissed off when you’re stuck in a traffic jam. Don’t let work get to you. And spend more time appreciating what you do have instead of worrying about what you don’t have.
5. Use Products with Estrogen
Our consumer-centric world is packed with products that contain estrogen or estrogen imitators in them. Everything from plastic bottles, to cologne, your shampoo, to pesticides most likely contains an endocrine disruptor that’ll throw your hormones out of whack.
Look for these names on ingredient labels and stay away from them if you want to protect your T-count: Bisphenol A (BPA), Parabens, Phthalates, Benzophenones, Triclosan and Triclocarban.
Side Note: Zinc blocks aromatase, which is a precursor to estrogen. If you want to create optimal testosterone levels, you need the right micronutrients in your diet. You can get them – and more – with the Barbarian Manhood-Multi (learn more here).
6. Drink Unfiltered Water
One of the best things you can do for your testosterone levels (among the other 29 that I covered here) is drink plenty of water…
However, one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone is gulp your gallon or two of water through the tap. Tap water is potentially filled with chemicals that can sabotage those testosterone levels that you’re trying to increase by staying hydrated.
7. Use Plastic
Speaking of how you should drink water, plastic water bottles are not your savior from the tap.
One study involving BPA (another ingredient in the making of plastic water bottles) shows a direct correlation between low testosterone and contact with BPA in general. Instead, get yourself a multiple-use BPA-free water bottle.
8. Become a Vegetarian
Your vegetarian buddy who the ladies love is actually ruining his testosterone levels, and you will too, if you join him. You simply won’t get the amino acids, cholesterol, and dietary fat that you need for optimal testosterone levels.
This study showed that a vegetarian diet can decrease testosterone levels by almost 40%.
9. Eat Soy
Sure, keep drinking your wife’s soy milk… If you want to lower your testosterone levels.
Men who consume a lot of soy have high amounts of equol present in their bloodstream. And according to a study published in Biology of Reproduction, eqoul is a strong anti-androgen that can nearly shut down the activity of dihydrotestosterone in your body, which is your strongest androgen.
When it comes to soy, the idea of “worst things you can do for your testosterone” seems like a bit of an understatement.
10. Eat Polyunsaturated Fats
Even though you want to get plenty of dietary fat into your daily feasting windows, polyunsaturated fats (PUFAs) are not the kind of fat you want.
You’ll find PUFAs in vegetable oils, sunflower seeds/oils, flaxseed and soy.
11. Restrict Your Calories
Real men don’t worry about calories!
In an astounding study which compared the testosterone levels of men who “ate clean” (between 1350-2415 calories) vs. men who ate a standard western diet, the results showed that the men “ate clean” had 31% lower testosterone levels than the guys who ate “dirty.”
Eat like a man, don’t restrict your calories.
I had to add this little caveat right after telling you not to restrict your calories.
Just because counting calories is one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels, doesn’t mean that you can overeat, either.
If you’re eating good testosterone boosting foods like I have listed out for you in The Man Diet, you won’t have an urge to overeat.
Eat like a man – men don’t overeat.
13. Cut Carbs
I know that carb cutting diets are all the rage right now. But cutting carbs will kill your testosterone levels.
At least 40% of your daily caloric intake should come from carbohydrates – primarily fruits, vegetables, potatoes, beans and white rice.
14. Drink Protein Shakes
You need plenty of protein if your muscles are going to recover from your workouts and if you’re going to have optimal testosterone levels. However, you should be getting plenty of protein from whole food sources like eggs and meat.
There’s no need for you to chug 4 protein shakes a day. Double fisting protein shakes can have an adverse effect on your testosterone levels. Instead stick with beef. It’ll give you plenty of testosterone boosting fats as well.
15. Get Drunk
I’m not anti-alcohol in general. But getting drunk is one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels.
The most freaky of the alcohol studies was conducted on a male rat (rats have similar DNA structure to humans) and resulted in a 50% reduction in testicle size when 5% of the rat’s diet consisted of alcohol. Poor rat!
Don’t be like the rat. Getting drunk will shrink your T and possibly your balls, too.
16. Smoke Weed
A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, tested 20 men ages 18-28 who smoked weed at least 4 days a week for 6 months. The testosterone levels of these men were significantly lower than those in a control group (who didn’t smoke weed).
And another study showed the same result. Four healthy males were tested before and after smoking weed, and the study concluded that after puffing the magic dragon, cortisol levels rose and testosterone levels plummeted.
17. Watch Porn
Watching porn is one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone.
When you become addicted to it (which you will over time) you won’t be able to get hard or have sex with your lady (which actually boosts testosterone. If you want some evidence to prove that statement, check out these 39 studies on the addictive nature of pornography and its neurological effects.
Also, masturbation does nothing for your testosterone levels. The pheromone connection you have with a woman during sex does. Don’t chance it. Stay away from porn.
18. Take a Long Hot Bath
Keeping your balls in warm water for a few minutes is a great way to lower your testosterone levels. If you’ve ever stood in a warm shower for 5 minutes, you know that your balls begin to hand lower than normal. That’s because they’re trying to escape the heat.
Your balls (where your testosterone is produced) perform their best when they’re cool. So leave the warm bubble baths to your lady.
19. Sit on the Sidelines
Men were made to compete.
According to a study published in Hormones And Behavior, men’s testosterone levels increase before competition, and as an added bonus, after winning a competition. You won’t get either of those testosterone spikes if you don’t step onto the field of play… Whatever that “field” may be.
20. Chew Gum
Those Double Mint gum commercials are deceiving. Those dudes should not be chewing that gum.
Spearmint and peppermint have been shown to reduce testosterone levels, meaning that you should chewing spearmint and peppermint gum will have the same effect. Find another way to freshen your breath. Chewing gum will cost you.
21. Have Flaxseed
It seemed like the world was raving about flaxseed a short year ago. Oh that’s right, because they were.
Flaxseed contains lignans, which tend to mimic estrogen. When estrogen levels are high in men, their testosterone suffers, and the side effects of a big belly and man boobs are just around the corner. The bottom line, your wife can have flaxseed, but you need to stay away from it.
22. Use Vegetable oil
If there’s an oil you don’t want to cook in, it’s vegetable oil.
Vegetable oils are full of PUFAs, which as we discussed are testosterone killers. One of the worst things you can do for your testosterone is cook all of your meals in it, sprinkle it onto a salad or dumping it on a baked potato, thinking that you’re boosting your testosterone but really lowering it. Keep it out of the kitchen.
When your dad used to tell you to walk with your chest out, he was actually giving you some tips on how to boost your T. But if you won’t listen, you put yourself at jeopardy of losing testosterone. One of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels is slouch.
Plus, it sends the message that you’re weak, insecure and closed off to the world – qualities that you don’t want to describe you as a man.
24. Run Marathons
Long distance running puts your muscles under stress for extended periods of time…
As a result, your cortisol levels shoot through the roof. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy a nice run every once in a while. I like to go for runs myself…
Just keep your 5k’s to a minimum.
You can also consider overtraining to be “under recovering.”
If you’re sacrificing a healthy amount of sleep in order to get to the gym, you’re doing it wrong. If your daily pattern is rubbing your eyes after 5 hours of sleep to get to the gym, you need to adjust your schedule so that you get more sleep at night and allow your muscles to recover.
26. Drink a Ton of Caffeine
Like I cover in my book, The Man Diet (grab your free copy here), drinking coffee is one of the best things you can do for your testosterone levels.
But drinking too much caffeine can stunt your T-count. Luckily, we have a lot of breathing room here. Cut your coffee to a few cups a day and you won’t have anything to worry about.
27. Get Dehydrated
According to studies, the more dehydrated you are, the higher your cortisol levels will be.
So if you aren’t constantly gulping down water, you put yourself at risk of low T. Drink water from a filter and through a BPA-free water bottle.
28. Pour on Cologne
Cologne contains phthalates, a chemical compound that is oftentimes unlisted in the ingredient label (because it isn’t required by the FDA) but is dangerous for your testosterone health.
Researchers have found this ingredient to be damaging to your sperm count and testosterone levels. In other words, every time you spritz on a little cologne (or dump in on depending on the kind of guy you are), your manliness shrivels up.
Deodorant will do just fine for you.
29. Rush to Work
Jumping out of bed and dashing off to work in a wild frenzy will cause your cortisol levels to spike and your testosterone levels to drop… Which isn’t a way to start off your morning.
Give yourself some time to wake up, journal, and have a cup of coffee before work. Anything comparable to a “morning rush” will sabotage your T for the day.
30. Don’t Do Anything
Hands down, one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels is to do nothing at all.
The increasing attractiveness of desk jobs and Netflix has begun to make men less active. As a result, out testosterone levels are dropping more and more from generation to generation. It’s going to take some activity, but we need to climb our way out of this mess before “manliness” looks more like drinking frappes at a local coffee shop than it does working hard, providing for our families, working with our hands, chasing adventure, and loving hard.
Alright fellas, the ball’s in your court.
You know the 30 worst things you can do for your testosterone. So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to keep doing those things that are making you less of a man? Or are you going to turn the tide for the sake of your T?
Don’t forget to pick up your copy of my book, The Man Diet.
It’s got everything you need to make every day one that’s optimal for your testosterone.
It is a fact that we are getting weaker and weaker as men. The military strength standards prove it.
50 years ago, the standard that it took for men to join the army would put our men to shame.
It can be said that it’s because of taking out gym class in schools, or how most jobs now are computer-based jobs instead of working with our hands or the decreasing testosterone in our generation.
Either way, we are getting weaker and its a problem.
Not only does it pose a problem for our society, its a physical problem for you as well. Weak individuals have low testosterone, lower bone density (think more bone breaks), and more back pain. It also means that you’re going to have less muscle mass as well.
In untrained individuals, meaning people who didn’t strength train, your strength and muscle mass starts to decline by 1 % every year after the age of 30. Starting with a high amount of muscle and strength will increase your quality of life not only at age 29 but also at age 85 as well.
With all that in mind, men these days need a strength standard. Something to aim for.
Instead of pissing around with useless exercises on machines and cardio devices, these exercises look like stuff your grandpa did on the farm.
Not only will these give you a strong direction for your training, You’re going to look freaking good if you achieve these strength standards.
You’re going to be lean, have a defined back, shoulders and chest, and a lower body that is strong, powerful, and free of injuries.
These aren’t meant to be absolute strength numbers. They are meant as a guide that when you can do this, you’re a capable strong man.
You might see this as a kick in the pants. If so, that’s good. Most of us need a good kick square in the behind to help us become the men we were created to be. So strap up, put on your big boy pants and time to get to work.
Strength Standard 1: 5 Pull-ups
The pull-up has been one of the military strength standards for centuries, and it’s not going to stop being a standard with us. Not only do you develop your upper back through this exercise (which is woefully underdeveloped in modern workout programs), but it also guarantees you aren’t overweight. See, if you’re carrying around too much body fat, you won’t be able to do great pull-ups. You might be able to squeeze out 1 or two, but not 5 in a row.
This shows that you own your bodyweight. You might be like many guys who feel like their body is out of their control. Even though you can keep every other area of your life under control your body always evades your grasp. This exercise is very obvious if you’re in control of your body or not.
5 pull-ups Guarantees that what you did wasn’t just a fluke.
Strength Standard 2: Dumbbell or Kettlebell Press ¼ your bodyweight for 5 reps
How many guys in the gym do you hear or see that have shoulder pain or shoulder injury?
Like the kind of pain that causes you to completely modify an exercise so it doesn’t cause any further pain.
I’d be willing to bet that 75% of dudes at a random gym have some sort of shoulder injury.
This is unacceptable.
Your shoulder is one of the most versatile, moveable, mobile joints in the world and guys treat them like they’re a fisher price toy.
They deserve the strength that they can handle. And that means getting the ability to go overhead with them again.
You might have limited range of motion when lifting over your head, and that’s to be expected.
Most guys are lacking a lot of mobility in their thoracic spine, the entire muscular system that connects to the shoulder. If this is lacking, the glenohumeral joint (the shoulder socket) takes the brunt of the force.
When you do this exercise well, it guarantees you won’t have any issues going overhead because you CAN’T.
Having full shoulder flexion is not only essential, but you’re not going to be able to do very well without it.
By doing this for 5 reps, IT demonstrates that you have adequate shoulder stability and endurance.
It ensures you go into the proper position, and are able to stay there.
Strength Standard 3: Farmer Carry for 100ft with 1.5 bodyweight
As humans, one of the things that makes us distinctly human is our ability to carry things long distances.
Carries are underrated, but one of the greatest bang for your buck exercises available. They develop a strong upper back, forearms that rival your dad’s, stable hips, and a core that doesn’t move. AKA you’ll get rock solid abs.
If you have struggled with lower back pain this exercise is for you. The core has to work overtime trying to balance and not let you keel over while carrying this massive weight.
I’ve personally seen the positive effects of this exercise. When I was struggling with lower back pain on the right side of my back in the winter of 2017, I started doing Carries consistently. Within a few weeks, my lower back pain had subsided, and I was stronger than ever.
Carrying weight is all fun and good. They have a very real life application as well.
Your grip strength is a very strong indicator of your life expectancy.
In this study, they showed that Grip strength was the best indicator of life expectancy and mortality rate.
No better way to improve your grip strength than by carrying heavy objects for long distances.
Strength Standard 4: Barbell reverse lunge with Body weight for 5 reps
This lower body strength test does not include a squat. And that’s because a squat often becomes a test of lower back and core strength, not leg strength.
Not saying that’s a bad thing, but we want a test that determines leg strength independent from your back, and one another.
In life, there are so many times you are doing things that require strength from one leg.
Bending down to play with your son.
Hiking a mountain with your girlfriend.
Walking your local golf course with your buddies on Saturday morning.
Lunges not only build leg strength, but they make sure that you have equal leg strength. In a squat, it’s easy for your dominant leg to take over from what your non-dominant leg.
With a lunge, there is no hiding. If your leg isn’t strong enough, it isn’t strong enough.
Lunges also develop hip stability, which also aids in decreasing knee and back pain, and making you an absolute boss.
These suckers are essential to lower body training and testing.
After reading this list, you might be thinking,
“So. Where do I go from here?”
There are either two options.
You rocked this test. You passed all of these with flying colors. You’re a strong dude. If this is you, then keep doing whatever you’re doing, because obviously, it’s working. Keep getting stronger, and becoming the man you were created to be.
You missed the mark on this test, and decide to do nothing. You feel that this is a useless test, and decide not to do anything at all. You keep banging your head into the wall with your training, and you get weaker, more in pain, and fatter.
You missed the mark on this test, BUT you do something about it. Maybe your shoulders aren’t able to press up the kettlebell. Maybe you laugh at me when I suggest the farmer walk. Pull-ups might not have been your jam.
If you weren’t 1, you have some work to do.
It might mean spending time working on your weaknesses.
You might hire an online coach to help you get better and stronger.
You decide to adjust your diet to make these tests a little easier.
Either way, if you failed on these tests now, it doesn’t mean that in 3 months time you’ll do the same thing.
Focus on building your strengths, and also bringing your weaknesses so that there is no area of strength that you can’t master.
Linden Ellefson is a personal trainer and online coach out of Calgary, Canada. He helps 30-40 year old get leaner, more athletic and in better shape than they were in college.
Thoreau said, Most men lead a life of quiet desperation.
I remember when I was there. I was waking up every morning, eating horrible foods, working away at a job that I knew I had no future in.
I was wandering, lost, not in any way living a story worth reading.
Average is the enemy of every man on this planet, and it’s an enemy that almost none of us will defeat.
In fact, we’re actually becoming biologically more average than we’ve ever been. The average guy today has 20% less testosterone than a guy at his same age only a decade ago.
When I was wandering, I was a shell of what I could be and thank God I had the wherewithal to understand that my hormones could have something to do with this steady state of quiet desperation.
Testosterone is much more than just a fat loss or muscle building hormone, it’s at the core of what makes you a man.
You get a surge in testosterone when you compete, another when you win, another when you make a bunch of money.
Testosterone acts like a hormonal reward system, rewarding the winners and punishing the losers.
To be the man you first have to act like the man, and your hormones will reward you for doing so.
Stay soft and sedated, and you’ll experience atrophy, regression, you’ll become something, someone smaller and more insignificant than you were created to become.
Act ambitiously, audaciously, and you’ll grow and evolve.
When I was in this state of average I found out that my hormones were low, that I was in the low end for my age, and while I was told I can take shots, I instead sought ways to force my body into creating more of this powerful hormone by changing how I acted, what I ate, and even how I trained.
While the vast majority of literature I read pushed a pill, potion, or powder, I saw the truth, that the optimal diet for testosterone is simple…
2 meals and a shake. One carbs meal, one fats meal, both meals contain protein.
I saw that men actually need a balanced diet, as carbs help lower cortisol and fats help us produce testosterone, and protein helps us maintain low body fat.
I saw that how I was living was ‘low T’ in itself.
I had finished boxing, so I was no longer competing. I was working a job that really didn’t push me. For the first time I lost the ambition that I’d had my entire life.
So, I changed what I could control.
I fixed my diet. Focused on strength training. And I started acting as the guy I wanted to become.
I started a business that helped other guys fix their training and nutrition and lifestyle issues as well.
My ‘turn’ wasn’t found in a program, but in research, in trial and error, and now, in the Man Diet.
Too many men are living lives of quiet desperation.
They’re living beneath what they’re capable of and this massive decline in testosterone is being almost entirely overlooked by the mainstream.
Certain things act as a foundation from which we can build upon and propell from, being a healthy, optimal ELITE man with ELITE testosterone levels is one of them.
We’ll cover other methods and ways to escape average in the coming weeks, but if you haven’t yet, ensure that you get your free copy of the Man Diet here.
I’m working my way through Tim Grover’s, Relentless, right now.
Tim is Michael Jordan’s strength coach, and Kobe Bryant’s. He’s spent a lot of time around guys who are killers, winners on another level, they’re beyond competitive.
It’s a great book, one that dives into the darkness of victory, the instinct of it.
Instinct is something many of us have lost. We were born with instincts. I remember being a kid, wanting to beat anyone and everyone at anything.
I’d fight all the time. I loved it. Slowly, however, we all confuse being good with being nice. We see this desire to kill, to do
minate, to hunt, as bad, and we soften it, let it go in an attempt to civilize.
You cannot ever become fully civilized if you want victory. Something within you has to remain true to those instincts and sometimes advice can cloud that inner voice, that ‘gut feeling’ that a man should always listen to first.
While I’m a guy who gives advice, who shows guys how to eat, train and become more disciplined, the advice is something you have to watch out for. Too much of it can lead you to live someone else’s life and lose those instincts that we all need to thrive.
So take advice from people who actually have your best interests in mind, but don’t take advice from everyone. Don’t seek advice from everyone either.
Years ago I stopped seeking so much damn advice and started doing my thing, whether it was business or life, and it’s helped me live life on my terms and build a business on my terms.
Listen, who do we admire, the man in a crowd, one of many, or the original, the man who stands on his own, who leads, who goes his own way?
We’re a tribe here, but no man can lose his ability to listen to his gut, to thrive off instinct rather than advice.
My dog, Teddy, doesn’t for a second think about chasing a deer, he just does it, and it’s nearly impossible to hold him back.
A lion doesn’t think about killing, that’s just what lions do.
Men should spend less time thinking about doing what they know deep down they need to do, and just do it.
When you have a decision to make, make it, follow the first thing that came to your mind and deal with the consequences later.
If you’re wrong, pivot, and fix the mistake, but stop living the safe life, the life led by the advice of others, where the tough decisions of your life can be pawned off on someone else so that, in part, they can share the blame if it’s the wrong decision.
Trust your gut.
It takes confidence to trust your gut. And if you don’t have confidence, and you want to develop it, start there.
Start by making fast and firm decisions, then follow through on them.
Be the lion, do as lions do. React, forget if everything is perfect. Forget about thinking about every scenario and outcome.
In 1911, three men set out on the adventure of a lifetime. They wanted to trek the unknown territory of Antarctica and link it with other known portions of the desolate continent.
The three men were ages 33, 30, and 29 respectively. They were ambitious, strong, courageous, and unwaveringly committed in their endeavor, so much so that two of them died along the way and one barely made it out alive. He was all alone on the ice.
This is a far cry from the 30 year olds that walk in our midst today.
Instead, they have traded their ambition for something far less virtuous.
Men have become soft, emasculated, and lazy.
This is due in part to real men having become reclusive and passive, and our culture becoming impervious to masculinity.
Look around and you will see that men are more concerned about the pants that they wear and the way their hair looks than how to make ambitious goals, and pursue their dreams. They have become afraid of their own shadow and doomed themselves to a life of mediocrity.
Chances are, that if you are reading this, then you go against the status quo, that you as a man have found yourself on the other side of society. You have been called “rough around the edges” or “insensitive”.
Take this as a compliment
Unfortunately, our culture has deemed men who are passive, and relinquish their manhood virtuous, and esteemed.
What men really need is self-awareness, mastery, and other men to learn from.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” – Proverbs 27:17
Men need to pursue mastery and be in constant pursuit of huge ambitious goals. They must constantly challenge themselves and push themselves to learn new skills and to grow in strength, endurance and mindset.
These things can only be developed if they are done with discipline and consistency.
The Lost Virtues of a Man
Men need to have some sort of consistent physical activity that they do, whether it’s lifting weights, martial arts, running, swimming, biking or a combination of all of them.
When men don’t do this, they get fat, injured, or have health issues. Don’t believe me, look around.
They also need to have a why, a reason for existing. They need to know their why, so that they can work in their Strengths and become who they are made to be.
Socrates said it best: “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
If you are not pushing your limits or putting your body under deliberate physical stress every day, you are denying your very essence.
Men need to know what they are capable of. When you lift weights, move heavy objects, destroy your goals and win, then you become confident and more alpha minded.
Lifting weights just to lift weights is not enough. You have to train. Life is going to come at you from all angles and you need to be prepared to handle whatever it throws at you. The more you exercise your body and your mind and put it under good, deliberate stress, the easier the problems will seem.
Learn how to do heavy Lifts like the Deadlift, Squat, and Olympic Lifts. Get a trainer, or go to a fundamentals class to learn these lifts. Proper form is key.
Men don’t play the victim. They take ownership.
Your mind will tell you that you can’t do something. You have to be able to tell it to shut up.
You have to build your mind by repeating positive habits. There are two very important ways that this can be done.
Lift Weights and Exercise: Lifting weights boosts testosterone, builds confidence, and leaves you with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction long after the workout. I quote Jocko Willink “If you want to improve mental toughness, try this: BE TOUGHER“
Read Good Books: You have to read books that set your dreams on fire, and grow your library of manly books .If the only time a man is getting information is from Social media, Netflix or the TV, then he must just like being useless. Every great man in history was a reader, Marcus Aurelius, Themistocles, Teddy Roosevelt, Solomon, and many more.
I’m not talking about hippie yoga crap. I’m talking about shutting up and listening to what is going on around you. Take five minutes every day to sit, breathe deeply and remain quiet. Focus on who you want to be, and your ideal day. Then go out and do your best to be that man.
Do these things every single day.
Men need a battle to fight, and a challenge to face
John Eldredge in his book “Wild at Heart”, said that men need three things.
A Battle to Fight
An Adventure to Live
A Beauty to Rescue
If a man wants to know what he is made of, I would urge him strongly to take on some sort of endurance event. Triathlon, Spartan Race 13+ miles, Biking, Marathon, Ultra-Marathon, go-ruck event, being away from your family or loved ones for an extended period of time.
A man will find out a lot about himself by physically and mentally challenging himself. The thing you don’t think you can do. That’s the thing you need to do.
Men need to continually learn new skills and become proficient at the ones already developed. If you want to build a website but don’t know how…then learn. If you don’t know how to bench press…then learn. If you don’t know how to shoot a gun, then go learn. Do manly stuff!
Men know that there is never an arrival point, there is never a destination. This life is asymptotic. Meaning you will continually come closer and closer to perfection, but never reach it. This should be encouraging because the sky is the limit.
Once you have a skill, work hard to hone it, and incorporate it into your daily life.
Every day you have a choice as a man, you can settle into mediocrity and passivity that this culture nurtures and cultivates, or you can set yourself apart and be the man you are made to be.
Being that man isn’t easy, because doing things the right way is not popular, and others will go against you because they are shallow scared little boys.
Boys hide and do what feels good, they don’t take responsibility or ownership. They are cowards, afraid of the success they can achieve, afraid to be dangerous and harsh.
It takes a man to make men.
How to obtain Mastery
Don’t look for shortcuts. First, say to yourself what type of man you want to be, then be that man. No one is going to push you more than yourself. A man doesn’t wait for things to be perfect, he takes action.
Stay Consistent. Don’t give up because something gets hard. Becoming the man you are made to be, takes time, effort and practice. Lots of it. Epictetus said: “No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.
Remain Teachable and Humble. These go hand in hand. Humility leads to being teachable. When you realize that you don’t know anything that is when you are ready to learn anything. Remember that you are a warrior and that you were made for greatness. Warriors are teachable, and always ready to learn.
Be willing to adapt. Things don’t always go as planned, but if you remain strategic in your approach and are developing your skill and strength then you will be able to adapt and change as new opportunities and openings arise in your life.
Challenge Yourself. Never think that you have arrived. That you have reached your destination. A man’s journey lasts a lifetime, and you can’t do things because you think you are going to get noticed or because you want accolades. Do the things you need to do because they will make you better as a man, not because you think you will be rewarded for doing them.
Don’t ever settle into mediocrity. Always choose the higher road. You will be a better man because of it, one that is born hardship, pain, discomfort, and grief. Life is never guaranteed to be easy, and as a man, this is the first step in developing a warrior mindset and a never quit attitude.
Be Legendary, Be Authentic.
Do Manly Stuff, Create goals and then conquer those big audacious goals that you set for yourself.
Kick ass. Ever. Single. Day.
Be the man that you were made to be.
Stephen Dull is a Navy Veteran, Cross-fit Enthusiast, Blogger, Podcaster, Engineer, who loves to lift weights in his garage, and help men be the men that they were made to be.
You’re one of the lucky ones. You’ve made it to your 90’s or even 100’s and it’s that time. You lie down for your final nap and never wake up.
If you’re a man of faith – and I am – you don’t think life stops there. Your soul, the essence of who you are, not just your physical form, lives on.
You’re dead but your consciousness still exists. I don’t think we take the same form, I think heaven is in the presence of our Maker and hell is in absence of Him. But for argument’s sake let’s say you go up to the pearly gates and see God.
Standing next to him is a fella that looks exactly like you. He’s a little stronger, more muscular, leaner. He looks like he’s lived more. He has scars on his face and hands and his skin is a lot tougher than yours is.
God says to you, Well done, you lived a good life, but you could have lived a far greater one. This guy is who I created you to be, this is your destiny.
In a glimpse, you see everything that this man, YOU, did. You see that he lived a HARD life. An arduous one. He didn’t compromise his values. He didn’t set small goals. He didn’t quit or cry or whine about his circumstances.
In this glimpse, you’re exposed to what you could have done, who you could have been.
You see the land you could have owned, the thousands of people you could have helped because of the millions and billions of dollars you could have earned.
You see the adventures you could have had and the scars they could have left.
You see the leader you could have been.
It hits you like a punch to the gut. You lived SMALL. You lived quietly. You lived a life of FEAR compared to what you could have done.
You were lazy, weak, afraid, envious, and cynical.
You could have been so much more.
If you have faith – and even if you don’t – compare yourself to this ideal, this potential, this man you can be, this man you’re created to be rather than comparing yourself to the guy next door or the fella down the street or the prick on TV.
Ambition is God Telling You What to Pursue
The second aspect of this epiphany, this glimpse, is that the man standing next to your Maker did what you’d always dreamt of doing.
He hunted in Africa, built a billion-dollar company, married his sweetheart, gave back, lived clean, worked hard, worked out, didn’t make excuses, and took action on the biggest dreams that YOU have.
… While you simply passed them off as dreams.
What your soul begs you to do should be given credence. It should be seen as important. Give it power, sustenance, by acting on it.
You know what your greatest ambitions are. There shouldn’t be anything in this world that can stop you from moving toward them.
Finally, the man you CAN BE has been beaten up. He’s failed. He’s had ups and downs and he’s almost died a dozen times.
His life, however, was lived on a far more grand playing field than the one you (we) currently occupy.
He DID the things that you only dream about doing.
He didn’t see obstacles or barriers, but dreams, destinations, goals.
Give your dreams the respect they deserve.
Set higher goals, aim far higher than anyone you know.
Then understand that nothing simply happens. Everything in life takes effort, pain, and persistence, and you can handle all of it.
A lot has been discussed about testosterone’s ability to induce fat-loss, enhance muscle growth, and increase libido. That’s all good and well, but testosterone’s true impact extends far beyond just these three areas. As a man, your testosterone levels are a major driving force in your overall health, energy, and well-being. In this article, I’ll go over the importance of this hormone and how it impacts various aspects of your mind, body, and behavior.
Testosterone Improves Cognitive Function
Elderly men (over the age of 50) screened for subjective memory complaints and low testosterone levels were brought into a lab and assessed for various measures of cognitive functioning. After baseline measurements were established, participants were given varying doses of testosterone treatment. The experiment lasted 52-weeks, after which participants across the board showed significant improvements in general cognitive functioning. Similar results were found in another study, in which 8-weeks of testosterone treatment significantly improved verbal fluency in healthy men.
How testosterone impacts the brain is not exactly understood, but researchers theorize that T plays a role in preventing brain tissue decay. This might explain why men with low testosterone have an increased chance of developing Alzheimer’s disease.
In a study of 108 elderly men (over the age of 65), participants were randomly assigned to wear either a testosterone patch or a placebo patch for 36 months. Bone mineral density measurements were recorded before and after the 36-month period. At the end of the experiment, researchers found that the lower the pretreatment testosterone level of the subject, the greater the effect that testosterone treatment had on increasing the bone mineral density of their lumbar spine.
In another study, 609 men (over the age of 60) were observed over a period of 16 years. Bone mineral density and lifestyle factors were assessed at baseline and testosterone levels were also taken into account. After analyzing the data and adjusting for factors such as age, weight, fracture history, smoking status, and calcium intake, researchers found serum testosterone to be independently associated with the risk of osteoporotic fracture.
The strength of your bones is directly correlated to the amount of testosterone running through your veins. To minimize your chances of developing osteoporosis and other bone complications, it is essential that you develop the habits to help maintain optimal levels of testosterone.
Testosterone Maintains Heart Health
Testosterone’s primary function is the strengthening of your body’s muscles, and no muscle is more important than your heart.
In an examination of 83,010 elderly men with documented low testosterone levels, researchers observed how testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) impacted the subjects’ cardiovascular health. After analyzing the data, researchers found that the normalization of the subjects’ T-levels after TRT led to a significant reduction in the risk of developing cardiovascular disease. Similar results were reported in another follow-up study of 11,606 men, in which low testosterone was noted as a possible predictive marker of cardiovascular disease.
When compared to men with normal testosterone levels, men with low T tend to have significantly higher body mass index, systolic blood pressure, triglycerides, cholesterol, and blood sugar. All of these factors affect cardiovascular health negatively.
One of the mechanisms through which testosterone improves heart health is by stimulating red blood cell production. Hemoglobin is a compound present within red blood cells that carries oxygen. By increasing red blood cell production, testosterone allows for a more effective transport of oxygen throughout the body.
Testosterone Fuels Your Competitive Drive
In a study of 64 men, each subjects’ T-level was assessed before and after a rigged one-on-one competition. After the first round of competition, participants chose whether or not they wanted to compete again. Researchers found that fluctuations in T-levels independently predicted whether or not subjects would choose to compete again. The losers who experienced a spike in T were more likely to choose to compete again compared to the losers who experienced a drop in T.
In another study, university tennis players were assessed for their testosterone measurements across six matches during their varsity season. Researchers found that T-levels rose just before matches and that the players with the highest pre-match T reported the most positive improvement in mood. After playing the matches, T-levels in the winners were higher compared to the T-levels in the losers. The winners also experienced higher T before their next match compared to the losers who had lower T before their next match.
Competition is a fundamental aspect of our nature as men, and research confirms that testosterone factors in to affect this trait. That being said, this relationship could just as easily be affected in reverse. For example, a mindset centered on performing well could also boost T, which would then further fuel your competitive drive.
Testosterone Makes You Attractive
76 men were brought into a lab in pairs and instructed to compete for the attention of an attractive female. Researchers found that the subjects’ pre-competition testosterone levels were positively associated with their expressions of dominant behavior and with how much the woman indicated that she “clicked” with each participant. The conclusion of the study was that testosterone plays a major role in regulating the behaviors that enhance mating success.
In another study, researchers investigated the relationship between circulating testosterone and both masculinity and attractiveness of facial appearance. What they found was that, across the board, composites from high-testosterone men were judged to be more masculine and more attractive than those from low T men.
Testosterone Improves Your Mood
In a meta-analysis of 16 human trials with a total of 944 subjects, researchers observed a significant positive impact of testosterone treatment on mood. This finding is further exemplified by the results from another study, in which 6-months of testosterone treatment helped 19 out of 30 men overcome depression.
In yet another study, 3987 men were assessed for depressive symptoms, of which 203 were diagnosed with depression. When analyzing the data, researchers found that the participants with depression also had significantly lower testosterone levels than the non-depressed men. They concluded that men with testosterone levels in the lowest quintile have the highest prevalence of depression.
Irritability, anger, uncertainty, and aggression are all emotions that tie back to mood. If you’ve been experiencing these emotions more frequently as of recent, it’s likely that low testosterone is a contributing cause. Taking the steps to increase your T can definitely help overcome these emotions and allow you to feel more relaxed and at ease.
Testosterone Increases Your Appetite For Risk
In an interesting study of male financial traders, researchers found that a trader’s morning level of testosterone was predictive of his day’s profitability. The traders willing to incur the most risk also set themselves up with a higher chance of scoring big. Similar results were found in another study, in which both men and women with high testosterone consistently showed a willingness to incur greater financial risk while gambling than their lower testosterone counterparts. And if that wasn’t enough, MBA students with the highest testosterone levels were more likely to choose the riskiest careers in finance.
By definition, risk is associated with potential downside. That being said, risk is definitely something you have to indulge in in order to rise above your current circumstances. As the saying goes “high risk equals high reward”. Don’t look at risk as something good or bad but just know that, without it, growth cannot occur.
Testosterone Helps You Live Longer
794 men (aged 50-91) were followed up with over a period of 11.8-years. During the follow-up, 548 deaths occurred. When observing the data, researchers found that the men with total testosterone levels in the lowest quartile were 40% more likely to die than those with higher levels. This relationship held true even after adjusting for factors such as age, body fat, and lifestyle.
The research is very clear on this:
Low testosterone levels are independently associated with an increased mortality rate in elderly men.
Of course, it’s not only about living longer. Quality of life is equally important. And given the benefits listed above, testosterone helps in that regard as well.
Testosterone is the biological cause of masculinity. Everything that you would consider “manly” (deep voice, broad shoulders, facial hair, etc.) can be traced back to the amount of testosterone running through one’s veins. That being said, the influence of this hormone is far wider than just controlling these characteristics. The strength of your bones, the health of your heart, and the function of your brain are all aspects on which testosterone exerts a major influence.
By developing the lifestyle habits that align with the maintenance of optimal T, you will ensure that your mind and body are functioning near peak potential. By maintaining these habits over the long-term, you will sustain your youth and virility well into old age.
About the Author
Mo Saleem is an independent men’s health researcher and founder of TripleYourT.com. His mission is to empower men with the evidence-based action steps to help optimize their testosterone levels so that they can actualize their potential.
I spent my entire lifetime trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless, but not men. ~ Vito Corleone, the Godfather
Children can look to their parents for help. They can blame others for what they’ve done. They can fall back on someone else’s assistance and get careless and have the problem solved for them. (Read This:10 Lessons Every Father Must Teach His Son)
Men cannot afford to be careless.
Men cannot behave in a manner that would jeopardise our employment. Boys can stay out late, get drunk with pals, lose their job, ride free on the backs of their folks for a few months, and then get another job. Men cannot.
Men cannot spend their money frivolously. They cannot buy what they cannot afford. What they earn they have to use wisely, they have to invest and pay off whatever creditors they have.
Becoming an adult is something that was once done at 19 or 20. Today it seems as though it may happen at 40.
If you look at the statistics of debt held in the west, by-in-large, most people owe more than they bring in on an annual basis. The good cities, the cities or towns where values still hold are closer to the debt to profit margin, while the bad ones, a city like Vancouver, for example, has its citizens earning – on average – half of the debt they’ll carry in a year.
Housing prices aside, this number is driven by an aspiration to portray and image, not the once all-important quest to be of character.
This article treats trivialities like image and consumerism as something that children can do, but not men. If you aspire to be good and manly, there are things that, when you hit 20, you simply have to leave behind.
If you’re in your thirties or forties and you’re still doing some of the things or behaviours on this list, ask yourself if you need to be, ask yourself if these behaviours and habits make you stronger or weaker and if they make you weaker, why have them?
Being an adult male means you have to be a leader. In some capacity people look up to you or depend on you. Don’t be careless with this honor.
1. Keep a budget.
The first change that a young fella has to adopt when he enters manhood is budgeting. You’re planning for something now. You’re saving for a life you want to create in the future and for a family that you may not yet have, but will one day. (Read This:11 Tips to Budget Your Money Like a Winner)
A budget is as much about knowing what’s coming in and what’s going out that it is about saving. It’s knowing what you have a tendency to spend money on that you don’t need and don’t really want, but you buy anyway.
It’s self-responsibility. It’s taking care of your affairs. It’s not being careless.
2. Think about what you buy.
I saw a video a couple months ago. It was some Youtube guy talking about having an abundance mindset. This notion that things will come into his life led him to spend money frivolously.
An abundance mindset is good. To know that if you work hard and smart that things will come into your life is a good thing. It’s a positive thing. To spend money on things you want on a whim, to let your desires push your purchasing habits is a dependence mindset.
Somewhere along the line the kid used the idea of an abundance mindset as an excuse to buy what he wants in a moment.
Discipline is discerning, it’s having the knowledge to back what you want to buy with logic and reason for purchasing it.
Children can spend money on stupid things. Men cannot.
Next time you have a desire that leads you to want to buy something, stop and think. Think about what this desire really is.
It’s most likely fuelled by an image you want to portray, which is given to you not by your genetics or what’s truly important in life, but my marketing, be it in film, in someone you look up to, in a magazine that skilfully lays out a persona of a man that you’d like to be yours.
This desire isn’t deep, it’s not meaningful, it’s wrought with triviality and once this image is achieved, another purchase will have to follow to further fulfill it.
Stop. Breathe. Think. What is it you really want?
It’s likely something that you think this purchase will get you but you’re wrong. Save your money, buy land, God ain’t making any more of it.
3. Do what you don’t want to do.
Boys can do what they want. If they don’t want to study, all they get is a bad grade, who cares.
Those among us who are men, who are winners, do what they don’t want to do with as much effort and pride as the things they love to do.
Success is often merely a matter of doing the things you’re not passionate about at a high level.
Being a good husband and father is often about the same thing. Of course you want to play with your kids and relax with them, but those dishes need to get done, the chores need to be completed, your lady deserves rest before you do. You’re a man. Rest is something that’s more infrequent for you than for anyone. (Read This:How to Rest Like an Alpha)
4. Take pride in everything you do, in who you are.
Take pride in how you look. Take pride in the work you do. Take pride in the man you are.
That means that you’re not lazy and you don’t sell yourself short.
Too many of us hold incredibly low expectations of what we can achieve in this lifetime and what our life will be. We give a fraction of what we can give to our work, to our family, and we push down the dreams we had as a kid because now they seem so out of line with the path we’ve been pushed into that we see them as not real.
This article is obviously not simply a matter of being an adult, but of being a great one.
Too many ‘adults’ slide into a way of life that is beneath them, both in character and accomplishment.
They sell themselves short. That doesn’t mean that the line of work you’re doing is beneath you, but that the work you’re doing, how you’re performing, and the pride you’re taking in what you’re doing is short of what it can be.
In no way does it make sense to give less effort, to pay less attention to detail. You end up giving close to the same amount of time, yet the results you create are far less than what they can be. Why not give your best? (Read This:Be A Man Of Action and Victorious Effort)
It’s like laziness, it makes no sense to be lazy. There’s no logic behind it, no benefit at all to the individual, yet we do it day after day.
Take pride in how you dress. Keep yourself well-kept and your body in shape. Don’t get fat and lazy, it’s unbecoming of what your potential dictates you should be.
5. Never be lazy.
6. Never blame someone or something for where you are right now.
7. Don’t change.
Don’t get careless or soft or lazy when things are going well. It’s easy to hustle when you have to. When you don’t, when things are taken care of and the bills are paid, people slip.
“It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning to go for a run when you’re sleeping in silk sheets”.
Yet, you still have to get up and out of bed, not because you need the money but because that’s who you are, you’re a man for shite’s sake, act like one.
A grinder, a worker, a man who takes pride in who he is doesn’t change or soften or weaken. You are who you are. Be the same guy when you’re at the bottom as you are when you’re at the top.
Highs and lows come and go. Life is a never-ending ebb and flow. Be the constant.
8. Give time to your family.
All of this work we do, all of these dreams we have, the goals we hustle to bring to reality, are for no reason if we don’t give our time to our family.
The excuse that so many men use is that they do all of this for their families. It’s not true. They may think it’s true, but what your family really needs is you.
You can make a few hundred grand or a few million less in your lifetime without diminishing your degree of happiness or value or worth and instead give those hours where that money was earned to the people that matter most.
The greatest regret for most men is that they were so focused on earning and they used their family as an excuse to spend more time earning instead of giving them their time.
9. Let your lady rest before you do.
The best example of what men have become today is in how we do chores around the house that our lady typically does. Let’s take the dishes, for example. Maybe that’s something that your lady does normally, but tonight you have to do them, and you do them just good enough to pass, but bad enough that she doesn’t want you to do the dishes anymore because you didn’t do them well enough.
I’ve heard this complaint from many a lady. I’ve done this myself, too. It’s less than who you are, who we are.
It goes back to the take pride in everything you do change in mindset. This includes chores and things that you don’t want to do at all.
If you’re going to do something, do it well.
More than that, do things you don’t have to do, let your lady rest before you do. Be the man, not just a man.
The problem with our society today is that youth is praised more than age and wisdom. It used to be the elders we looked up to, now it’s the young, the person living with no responsibility and a care-free lifestyle.
That’s ass-backwards. It doesn’t reflect what our priorities should be. We praise the dependent, the immature, the weak.
Be the strong, self-reliant, masculine male that you need to be to be called a man or a man’s man or a leader. It’s the same guy you need to be to live the life you genuinely want to live.
If this is heaven, if we’re not moving toward heaven, how would you live?
What would you spend your time doing, building, creating? What adventures would you embark upon? Who would you spend your time with and sacrifice for?
Be the man that your idea of living demands you become, not the boy that your desires make you act like.
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.
Masculinity is barbaric. That isn’t wrong. What’s wrong is blaming an evil on an entire gender, and a gender that has done a lot for this species.
I also heard the term ‘toxic masculinity’ applied to the Orlando terrorist attack, where a Muslim Extremist, who you can’t really call a Muslim, who was both gay and man at gays killed 49 innocent people in one night.
To ignore what he was – an extremely bad person – and instead blame the masculine, is weak and stupid. In trying to somehow make men feel bad for being men, you’re degrading what our boys need to become…
We need ultra masculine men. We need strong men. We need warriors, thinkers, and men who will kill when it needs to happen, not men who will cower and cry and run.
I know, most people don’t think in these terms.
Most people are level-headed and good. They see the value of the feminine and the masculine. They see the differences in the two sexes and they praise them as uniquely necessary.
Toxic Masculinity isn’t a thing. It doesn’t exist.
There are pricks, ass holes, and bad people. It has nothing to do with their gender, because the gender, the feminine or the masculine that determines a lot about who they are, is a good thing.
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.