How to Be the Man

How to Be the Man

There’s that holds us back in life that doesn’t need to hold us back.

Choices

We think we have to play the role that fits where we were born, who we were born to, and when we were born. The reality is we can choose much more than we realize.

We get to decide what we like, what path we take, who we aspire to become, what we aspire to do in life. We control a heck of a lot more than we realize, especially in terms of scope.

Most think small, a few think big. It’s a decision, a choice that’s available to all of us.

Control

Again, a choice. We can choose to focus on what we can control or we can choose to focus on what we cannot control.

An event happens, it isn’t bad or good, yet we place labels on it that send us into discouragement and self-pity, which are very attractive ways to think initially, but destructive in the long run.

Standards

How we see ourselves is reflective of who we present to the world and how we act. If we’re lazy, we see ourselves as not able to achieve what we want to achieve, hence, giving little effort.

If we quit, give up, aim smaller than we should, give little effort, it’s not because WE are not good enough to get what we want, it’s because we don’t see ourselves as being good enough to get what we want and on the scope we want it on.

The answer to standards is, of course, to see yourself differently, but even more, to act differently and to show yourself that you are THE MAN.

I mean, what have you got to lose?

You can act like you’re the man by rising early, working hard, thinking bigger, even dressing better, training harder, and doing everything in your power to be the best man you can possibly be…

…And in doing so actually become a better man (at worst), and at best, achieve even greater things than you ever thought possible.

Or you can give mediocre effort, improve incrementally, and never see what you’re made of, never become the man you can become.

It all starts with choices….

I love the line from Ballers, when the Rock’s character tells a story about his old man meeting his long time boss, and realizing one very important fact in life:

That we’re all just guys. Some guys think they can, and some guys think they can’t.

There’s no real difference in talent or innate ability when it comes to success, in fact IQ is a horrible predictor of financial success, often working to lower one’s chances of becoming wealthy.

And no matter where you’re from, how you look, or what you like to do, there’s usually a success story, and if there isn’t, become the first, someone has to… Why not you?

We can choose to make excuses or we can choose to hold ourselves to a higher standard, the standard of the man we’re trying to become, not shaded by insecurity or laziness, mediocrity or safety, but fueled by pure, raw, unsaturated ambition.

Think bigger.

Hold yourself to a higher standard.

Be the man, now, don’t wait, act.

Be Legendary,
Chad Howse

> > Get MAN GREENS today!

So You’ve Hit Rock Bottom… What to Do And What Not To Do.

So You’ve Hit Rock Bottom… What to Do And What Not To Do.

Imagine doing something unforgivable. You think others may not forgive you or may be better off without you or knowing what you did, but most of all, you can’t forgive yourself. Maybe it’s an act, a moment, or a way of behaving you’ve adopted over time that’s unforgivable.

You can’t look at yourself in the mirror. You destroyed the idea of who you thought you were, and in doing so you let everyone around you down. You feel like an absolute piece of shit, but you’re still standing…

Being at the lowest is horrible, the true lowest, being disgusted with yourself, ashamed, embarrassed, all of it. It’s bad, but there is liberation in the fact that you can handle it. That fact is missed by far too many today.

Rock bottom, to too many men, is the end. Rock bottom should be the spot from which you rise from. When you’ve hit rock bottom, everything else is a bonus, it’s borrowed time, it’s a second chance, it’s a new beginning.

There’s no denying, however, that it’s painful.

I just watched the movie, A Star is Born, which I would never have actively sought out had I not stumbled upon it in the middle of a song that the lead actor, Bradly Cooper, was singing. I liked the song, so I started watching the movie from the beginning.

If you haven’t watched it, this article contains massive spoilers, so watch, then read this.

By the end of the movie I had a salty liquid streaming down my face, I think they’re called tears. I was alone, smoking a stogie, sipping on scotch, watching what could be called a romantic movie for about ¾’s of the film, getting choked up.

Cooper’s character is a man in pain. Maybe you’re a man in pain. I’ve been a man in pain and I’ll again be a man in pain. He meets a lady – played wonderfully by Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. Cooper is a famous singer in the movie, a country/rock kind of singer, who has great songs in the film and they’re now on my playlist.

The famous singer meets the talented but undiscovered lady and helps her become even more famous than him, which he struggles with. As he declines she rises, and that seems to be a big part of the struggle with him in the film, but there’s more to it.

He sees who she is, the best that she can be, but also how she’s acting completely out of line with the woman he knows, which crushes him because he can’t say much about it without sounding jealous, a burden he carries. He knows who she is versus who she’s acting as, even though the rest of the world rewards and applauds her for her catchy tunes and outlandish shows.

As he’s ushered out of the limelight, she’s ushered in, and that he can’t handle, either.

Booze and drugs have been his go to crutch for years and he dives back into them, embarrassing her and – as others tell him – holding her back in the process. Though he knows she’s acting less than she can by creating crappy songs that sell but aren’t true to who she is, he sees himself as a weight dragging her down, holding her back, a weight that he eventually cuts loose through suicide.

Aided, of course, by the booze and the drugs, he hangs himself in his garage, multiplying his pain and putting it onto everyone else’s shoulders. He can’t handle the shame, so he makes others deal with it and more in confusing, hopeless, emptiness.

When I was 15 or 16 I was downstairs in my folks house talking with a cutie I was dating at the time when my mom walked into the room in tears, telling me abruptly that, ‘Johnny’s dead, he killed himself.’

Johnny was my cousin, the cousin I knew best, saw the most, a man who had a kind heart and a truly tortured soul. Suicide was too much, though. He hung himself in the basement of his home, his pregnant wife found him dangling from the ceiling, and his daughter was too young to really know him.

Watching that film brought back that pain, that feeling of confusion and hopelessness and senseless loss that didn’t need to happen.

My cousin didn’t need to kill himself. 

He could have talked about what he was going through, whatever shame or pain he had could have been forgiven. He could have raised his family with pride and honor and I could be smoking a cigar with him on my porch, now that I live in the same city as his wife and two daughters.

We, humans, men, we do some bad things. We do some shameful things. We fail. We don’t live up to our expectations or those of others. We can be very selfish. We can be mean. We can dive deep into pity, into selfishness, into despair, thinking that from an outside perspective we have no reason for being here, that our usefulness is gone, that everyone around us is better off without us.

We lie to ourselves, making suicide the practical and only solution to the problem, which is us.

Sometimes it’s aided – as it is in the movie – by a piece of shit who tells us that we need to be removed from the picture. 

It is never true that those around us are better off without us.

It is never factual that whatever pain we feel or shame we feel or despair we feel is enough for us to end our lives.

Everyone who knew my cousin felt pure pain when he died. They felt as though they could have done more. They felt responsible. Of course, he was the only one responsible, but that doesn’t change the daily pain and thoughts and questions we all have about him.

When you’ve done something so wrong that you can’t look at yourself in the mirror.

You’re stuck with despair, shame, and pain, and now what?

You’ve hit rock bottom, and you can always handle it. It’s never as bad as you think it is or will be.

You’re living on borrowed time, so do more, live more, help more, get out of your own head, get off the bottle, off the drugs, I’d guess that most suicides happen in drunk or drugged states. Don’t put that crap into your body.

Ask for help, for sure, but understand the freeing feeling of living on borrowed time. 

Understand the power of rock bottom, of having nowhere deeper or darker to go, and smile at the darkness, own it, be in it, don’t avoid it or dull it, become it. 

Build something from that darkness. Build a legacy that will eventually bring you to the light. 

If you don’t think you can make your life better, do everything you possibly can to become the man that will make everyone else’s life better.

How to Be Your Own Man (and how to not be a fraud)

How to Be Your Own Man (and how to not be a fraud)

I’ve written this email/newsletter/article in a few different ways, from a few different angles…

What started out as an attempt to create an exercise for myself to make sure I’m living true, thinking true, and acting true to who I am and who I am at my best, turned into another question altogether, the notion of understanding what’s true by identifying what is not true. (read: Be Your Own Man)

Sometimes we better understand what something is by identifying first what it isn’t.

You’re not strong if you’re weak. You’re not good if you’re bad. You’re not a man if you’re a woman. You’re not a man if you’re soft, timid, cowardly, useless, and so on.

Defining Who You Are

There are questions to answer a bit later, but who you are is essentially your potential. It’s not who you’ve become because of diminished goals, because of settling, because of surroundings. Who you are is best defined by this scenario… (read: 15 Steps to Becoming a Better Man)

You live a good life. You work hard, do good, support and provide for your family, and then you die. Upon death you reach the pearly gates where you’re met by Saint Peter who introduces you to a guy you recognize but can’t put a name to. He looks like you, but better. He stands taller and stronger. He has a sense of pride about something, a mission, achievement, he’s driven.

The man is who you could have been filled with everything you could have achieved, with everything you could have accomplished. Meeting him hits you like a ton of bricks. He’s you, but devoid of the laziness, removed of the intentions that went unacted upon. He thought bigger. He didn’t see limitations only obstacles that could be overcome. He didn’t pity himself. He wore out before he rusted out. He chose to see the good rather than dwelling on the bad. By the end of his life he looked like a different man because of these characteristics and choices.

This is you. This is who you have to be true to, not the guy who holds too much self-doubt, or the guy who says he’s going to do things and never does them. With that definition, let’s move on. (read: The Lost Art of Fulfillment)

The Trap of Becoming a Fraud Because of A Lack of Confidence

Listen, we’re all acting and thinking in some way that isn’t true to who we are. We’re influenced by ads and marketing and culture. We compare ourselves to what we want to be and to who others are.

The fraud is often the result of a lack of confidence. It comes about because we’re unaware of who we can be, blind to who we ought to be, so we try to become someone else.

The fraud is rooted in laziness. We don’t want to think deeply, so we stop at an incorrect conclusion. We don’t want to risk, so we copy someone else’s ideas or follow someone else’s advice.

At its worst, the fraud is weakness. It’s the guy who takes the easy route, who doesn’t call out evil because he’s afraid of the consequences that will follow.

If you know who you are, what you believe, your values, morals, ethics, and desires, and you have the courage to live by them, you cannot be a fraud.

Just like we humans today are the result of being stacked upon previous generations, their victories, mistakes, failures, and successes, who you are is a collection of past knowledge and present ideas.

You’re both an original and a tapestry.

You, however, have to choose what and why you take from others, and what you create completely anew.

Don’t Adopt Someone Else’s Dreams

The worst we can do is to try to live someone else’s life. From a misdirection aspect, we have to curtail everything about who we are to succeed at something that we are not.

Question 1: What are your goals and dreams?

Spend Sunday thinking about what they really are and why they really are. Wanting power, wealth, happiness, a big company or a large ranch is fine, just understand why you want it and question whether it’s truly what you want.

Happiness and Misery

We all have different senses of humor. Different things make us happy and other things make us miserable.

It took me a while to really think about what really makes me happy, and the times I’m the happiest, and the times I’m the least happy. For myself, I need 3 things above all else:

1. A challenge.
2. Hope.
3. Excitement.

And they all tie into one another. When I’m working on something that’s challenging and I’m excited about and hopeful about – meaning there’s real evidence that it’ll bear fruit and help others and become something big – time stands still, in fact, there’s not enough hours in a day.

Add in good relationships and newness, and I’m at my happiest. I need new things. I need to see new places, try new things, get better new skills. I need to be improving, and there needs to be struggle in the improvement. Monotony makes me miserable, as does comparison.

When I’m comparing myself to what I’d rather have or be doing or what others are doing or what they have, I’m miserable. Extreme solitude is also not great, we need to share, we need to benefit others and benefit from others.

Question 2: What are your happiest times? What are your most miserable times?

I’ll Never Be That

I’ll never be the envious fella. I’ll never be the lazy fella. I’ll never be the guy proclaiming all he’s going to do when everyone around him knows he’s not going to do it. I’ll never be the guy who sets out to hurt others, I’d much rather be the guy who makes others laugh and helps others.

I’ll never be the poor guy, the broke guy who has no power to help others. I just don’t want that. I’ll never be the insecure guy. I’ll never be the down, depressed guy. I’ll never be the low energy guy, I’ll never be the small thinking guy. I’ll never be the scared guy, the timid, soft guy who doesn’t do what’s necessary because it’s too difficult.

The fact is that I’ve been each of these guys before at some moment in time. That’s when you have to step back and identify why, what’s making me act like the man I do not want to be and get rid of it?

Question 3: Who do you never want to become? What or who are making you become that guy?

Morals, Ethics, Values

Much of this is already laid out in who you are and who you vow to never become. But we truly have to identify the ethics, values, and morals we think are important, write them down in code form, and have the courage to live by them no matter the consequence.

Will you earn by any means necessary? Will you turn a blind eye to those doing wrong or will you step in even if there consequences aren’t good?

I value risk, I don’t want to act because I’m afraid of risk. I value effort, I never want to be lazy. I value my word, both to myself and others, I do what I set out to do. I value courage, I will always move forward in spite of fear and often because of fear, chasing it rather than running from it. I value confidence, I won’t get down on myself or pity my situation. I think it’s ethically wrong to waste time speaking ill of others, to waste time thinking and not acting when the action is clear, to waste time doing things that make me worse, that degrade my body or my mind or my relationships or my potential. (read: Be Toxic)

Hopefully that helps.

Question 4: What are your morals, values, and ethics?

Be Your Own Man, Don’t Be a Fraud

You can be a good fraud. You can be kind and well-intended, but fraudulent. You can be nice, but be a fraction of who you can be, that guy you met at the pearly gates.

Don’t spend your life living by someone else’s ideals and ethics, their desires and dreams and goals. Don’t belittle who you are because you think someone else is greater than you.

Don’t look up to people, admire their actions, what they’ve done, their discipline, but don’t idealize them. Most often, they’ve simply made the right decision and had the courage and discipline to see it through.

Their potential is no different than yours.

Their worth is no greater than yours unless worth is judged by what they’ve done, in that case, they’ve simply done more. And you can do more.

I admire what Theodore Roosevelt did, the manner in which he lived, how to worked tirelessly and did what others thought impossible or just too difficult to do, and there are many others like him throughout history, but they’re all just guys, with the same struggles as we all have.

We all have struggles, and we all must overcome them.

Understanding who we truly are, and having the BALLS to live the best life we can possibly live, on our own terms, is our task.

Get after it.

Be Legendary,
Chad Howse

Founder of Man Greens

BYOM – Be Your Own Man

BYOM – Be Your Own Man

Be your own man.

“A man does not die of love or his liver or even of old age; he dies of being a man.” — Miguel de Unamuno

Personally, I’m not 100% sure about what being my own man is, not completely. I still question whether a belief is mine or because of some other influence, the same with a thought or a perspective.

Every morning I read. Each book both opening my mind and influencing how I think.

I’ll play golf or shoot or smoke a stogie at least once a week with a buddy. Every time we talk about business, family, life, politics, religion, and so forth. Sometimes – just like with a book – I’ll adopt a belief that makes sense and that I agree with, sometimes, I’m sure, I’ll allow the pal or the book or some post to influence how I act without it being completely in line with who I am.

Methinks this is inevitable, especially today.

We’re sold what to think, what to aspire to have, what’s important, what to believe, how to vote, and who to be in every conversation we have with others, in every great book we pick up, and in every TV show, movie, or piece of social media we consume.

It’s so constant that it becomes difficult to know who we genuinely are, what we genuinely believe and want and who we’re trying to become.

Just writing this I think there’s an answer in that previous sentence…

Who we’re trying to become.

This is who we are. We’re not born having achieved a single thing, learned a single skill, or done anything of value besides making our parents happier.

From that day forward we chase potential.

Sometimes we spend decades chasing it in the wrong manner, chasing loose women, fancy cars, drunken experiences that we’ll seldom remember.

Sometimes the incorrect chase is found in safety. We don’t aim high enough, we degrade who we think we are to fit our current circumstances, we avoid failure and thus avoid being ambitious enough.

Other times, and this is most prevalent, we chase our potential based off of what others we know have done, are doing, or are telling us we should do.

We become a whole made up of fractions of everyone we know, everyone we’ve read, and everyone we’ve watched. We inevitably end our lives never having lived them, never having walked in our own boots.

So how, then, does one become his own man?

How do we truly figure out who that is, and in the most ambitious, audacious, and daring manner possible?

You’re not mediocre. The more I read about great men in history and see and meet multimillionaires and billionaires and titans in various realms, the more I see that greatness is perspective, how we see ourselves, not who we’re born as.

The truth is we all are actively degrading who we are by seeing ourselves as less than we have the capacity to become, but finding that avenue to chase, the things that make up who you are, your genuine interests, beliefs, motivations, desires, plans, and what you want in life need to be clarified.

The answer isn’t immediate.

It takes trial and error and thought.

You can’t spend your entire day being influenced. You need peace, silence, and in my case, a stogie and an hour and a half to think, to find clarity, to pray, to work out decisions in my own mind rather than allowing someone else’s mind to dictate my actions.

I think this requires growth as well as clarity and understanding.

You have to become a better man to really understand your potential, to have the virtues in place to be able to determine lies from truth, influence from genuine desire.

Which is why I highly recommend you – at least once – complete the only course on becoming a better man, the 12 Virtues of Manliness.

…And you should do it today.

The longer we live not being ourselves, not chasing what we truly want and living as the man we want to become rather than waiting to become him, the further away we move from that marker, that man, that life that we’re genuinely and ambitiously here to live.

Get stronger. Get smarter. Get closer to your potential.

Be Legendary,

Chad Howse

P.S. Spend some time thinking about desires alone…

Which ones are yours? Which ones are because of an external influence? Which should you ditch and which should you keep?

Who do YOU want to become? What do you want to do in this life? And, most importantly, what’s most important to you?

…Not anyone else, but what’s most important to you… Make a list.

The Best Quote to Gain Power From Tragedy

The Best Quote to Gain Power From Tragedy

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. ~ Viktor Frankl

We can know this in theory, but it’s only when we experience it, when we’re stripped of all we have, all we thought we valued, all we thought we loved, that we’re faced with this decision.

At first we don’t even know that the decision is there, all we see is pain and despair and pity. We ask questions like, ‘what’s the point’? ‘Why me?’ And so on. We walk around with a cloud above our heads, with no light. After the initial darkness, reason and logic begin to creep in, hopefully this doesn’t take too long. We see that there are choices, especially when we come across quotes like this or books like Man’s Search for Meaning, we see that in every circumstance, we can have everything taken from us except our attitude and our choice to choose our path.

The decision isn’t easy to make, pity is intoxicating, pain, sorrow, and depression and all-consuming, but that decision is there and if we begin to make it in small things, we see that we can’t be broken, we see light, we feel true power. The truth is that we can, indeed, have everything we think we need and love and value taken away from us and we can actually choose to be better off for it, to become better because of it. In doing so we become truly powerful.

Most emails I get from guys – other than those about T – are about dealing with tough times, break-ups, a lack of certainty and clarity about life (which is difficult) and so forth.

What we often fail to realize is the choice that can be made. We can completely change our perspective on a situation, find good in it, find a worthy struggle within it… Struggle. It’s something we want to avoid in today’s society, and likely always have wanted to avoid, but it’s within struggle that we grow, evolve, and become someone better.

A worthy struggle can provide an opportunity to even change how you see yourself for the better. It can force you to create confidence where there is none, to necessarily change who you think you are because if you keep seeing yourself as a loser, a victim, you’ll never live the life you want to live. By forcing yourself to see yourself as someone and something better you climb out of whatever you’re facing and set yourself up for a better life in the future.

A worthy struggle is a gift, not a curse. It creates calluses where softness and weakness dominated. It turns a boy into a man. It turns a man into a warrior. It turns a warrior into a king.

Whatever you’re going through, even if it’s uncertainty, maybe pain or failure or depression or sadness and despair, don’t just ‘keep going’, though you should, no, step back, detach, see how you can use it to transform into someone better, how you can use it to become tougher.

Choose your way out.

Get after it.

Be Legendary,
Chad Howse

P.S. Get Man Greens Today (Sale on Multiple Bottle Orders)

How to Be a Better Man (9 Steps to Manhood)

How to Be a Better Man (9 Steps to Manhood)

Be a better man, daily. No wish, no dream, follow the plan in this article and simply, be a better man day in and day out.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

We want to be better men, we all do. Few, however, have a plan to carry it out. Just like few men have a plan for power or wealth even though they dream about it nightly.

What follows are 9 action steps that you can take this week that’ll help you be a better man, but also become better at being a man, that is, the core, the base of what masculinity is, utilitarian above all else.

You’re here to serve a purpose. You’re here to win. You are not here to fill a clog, to fit into a puzzle, to exist.

A woman is born. A man is made. (read: The Manliness Checklist)

Manhood is something to aspire toward. It’s a goal, something to achieve, it isn’t something that occurs when you reach puberty or buy a house or even get married.

It’s something you win. People around you know when you’re there. They know they can count on your for all kinds of things that they maybe once couldn’t.

They know you’ll lead them in the right direction and for the right reasons and they’re glad to follow.

The Romans called manliness, excellence in all things. And it is. Excellence isn’t born, but crafted over time, as is manliness.

1. Do what you say you’re going to do.

A man is no better or worse than his word. Yet, we lie to ourselves every day. We say we’ll do this, act like this, achieve that, and we never do.

If we’d only do what we say we’re going to do in business and in life we would be able to look back at our lives with a pride rarely felt in the course of humanity. (read: what it means to be a man)

Intentions are like buttholes… You know where the line goes.

They’re shitty and everyone has them.

Accomplishments, well, they’re rare. They’re a big part of why we’re here. We’re not here to want to do something, intend to do something, or wish we could do something. We’re here to achieve. From big to small, do what you say you’re going to do, whether you say it to yourself silently or aloud to others. Get it done.

2. Do what you don’t feel like doing.

One of the best barometers of whether you should do something or not, is that you don’t feel like doing it.

Try this for a day. Most people, men especially these days, avoid doing things simply because they don’t feel like doing it.

When you have that moment of not feeling like doing something, do it. Sometimes you’ll have to avoid something because it doesn’t stick with the plan, but the point is to do those things you initially set out to do but now don’t feel like doing at all.

Try it out. You will be a better man because of it. You’ll end the day having lived, achieved, and won. If you stack up enough days like that you’ll live a great, truly great, life.

3. Don’t get too low, or too high.

Enjoy your victories, celebrate them. We don’t do enough celebrating these days. That said, don’t get too high when nothing seems to go wrong, and definitely don’t get too low when it seems like everything is going wrong.

That’s nice to say, it’s a good piece of advice, but how do you actually achieve it, namely not getting too low?

You have to have a plan for your life and for your day, and you have to follow that plan regardless of how you feel.

Action is an antidepressant. Being static and stationary will make you even more depressed. I’ve been through this, recently actually.

I had every opportunity to get really low, down, and depressed. It was staring me in the face every day, and the only thing that prevented it was action.

I set out every day to not stop until 8pm, regardless of how I felt.

I had a bunch of work to get done, yardwork, I had the gun range, the archery club, cigars, and books.

I wouldn’t stop until the day was done and it was time to wind down. That’s how you avoid being too low, you’re too busy to be low.

4. Think.

There’s a reason why I smoke cigars and it has nothing to do with aesthetics or taking pictures and all that nonsense. Cigars are meditation for men.

I’ll smoke one every second day or something like that. It’s an hour or so of meditation, of thinking, of putting things into perspective, putting the pieces of the puzzle together for life and business and even relationships.

Do it however you need to do it, but men need that moment in a day, whether by stogie or pipe or book, where they have silence to get their mind right.

It will help you become a better man.

5. Read more than you watch.

TV can be good. It can be a winding down, you can get inspired from it and even learn from it. More often than not, however, it’s useless, and people watch far too much of it.

Spend at least an hour a day reading, and less time than that watching TV.

As a man, you need to be smart. You need to be able to strategize and plan, to dissect situations and to not allow your emotions cloud important decisions. Reading will help you become a smarter man. A smarter version of yourself is undoubtedly a better version of yourself.

6. Be dangerous.

Better dictates you’re better at being what men should be, a protector and provider. The fact that you have the capacity to be dangerous means you’re at least the former.

The reality is that there are bad people out there, and as a man, you have to be better at being dangerous than those bad people. This means you know how to fight, that you’ve trained to do so, that you’ve strengthened your body so as to be successful at fighting, and, well, you know how to use a gun. (read: how to be an alpha male)

The ignorance that guns are bad can stand between not having one when a bad guy does have one. They’re a tool, like a hammer or a knife and they’re a much more effective tool in certain circumstances when your family’s safety is on the line.

Be as dangerous as you can possibly be.

This is what being a good man requires. We’re utilitarian beings. We’re here to serve some purpose and protection is definitely one of those purposes.

7. Plan how to be successful.

Success isn’t something you wish would happen, but something you’re strategically creating. The more money you make, the bigger your impact can be. Money isn’t the be all end all, it’s a tool, a gauge you can judge how good you are at what you do – one of many.

Up until a certain time in life, boys dream about success, they wish it and pray for it, but men plan for it.

Until it’s a plan, it remains a wish. Have a plan to achieve power and success, and then do whatever you have to do to create it.

8. Be stoic.

Stoicism is a lot of things, it’s a way to live and think and how to see things. It’s an understanding that the event isn’t as important as your reaction to it.

You have complete power and control over how you see things, tragedy, victory, betrayal, the absurdly unfairness of life. Most things are not a part of you. They do not wish to harm you, they simply are.

Read Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus to know how to live. Read Proverbs, anything by or about Theodore Roosevelt or George Washington, and learn to deal with the worst and the best like a man. Read Man’s Search for Meaning as well.

9. Take care of yourself first.

This goes against what most of us think is ‘good’, but it’s the truth. This does not in any way mean you buck responsibilities, but you put the oxygen mask over your mouth before you put it over your kid’s.

If you suck, their lives suck.

If you’re unsuccessful, weak, fat, depressed, sad, down in the dumps, their lives are negatively impacted.

You have to be at your best for their lives to be at their best. You’re their foundation. So, take care of your shit. Get your money right. Get your mind right. Get your body right.

Have the things in your life you need to do to put wind in your sails. It could be hiking, hunting, shooting, reading, smoking a stogie every day, having beers with your pals once a week. Whatever you need to get yourself right, have it in your routine and don’t compromise.

Do the things on this list, most of them should be routine.

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