Most do neither. They try to control what they cannot control, or they get angry over it being so, and they ignore the power that they do have and chalk it up to how things are.
The weather is, you have no control over it. To get angry at it being the way it is makes no sense. You cannot control what other people do, so why fret over their stupidity or ignorance? Why spend time arguing about things when you have no hope in hell of changing the other person’s mind on the subject?
You can, however, control your body weight. If you’re fat, that’s on you. If you’re skinny, again, on you. If you’re weak or lazy then you cannot complain about it, you are who made you weak or lazy.
Don’t just accept that you can control something and go on with your life. Spend time determining what in your life you can control and are not controlling to the best of your abilities, and what you shouldn’t even be attempting to have power over because in reality you have none.
Excellence is just that, wielding your power over what you have power over better than everyone else and ignoring what you don’t have power over, or simply not letting it take up space in your brain. (Read This:5 Steps to Gain Real Power)
You cannot control the hate or envy of others, so leave it be. You cannot control what family you are born into, just appreciate them, and make the most out of the hand you’ve been dealt.
It’s an imperative skill in life to understand what you can and cannot control. It’s a necessary skill if you want to live a happy, successful life, and it doesn’t matter how you define happiness or success, this skill is still required.
There are three things you can do:
Spend a few hours thinking about the things that take up space in your mind. Do they belong there or should this pace be taken by something else that you do have power over.
Most people won’t do this step. They’ll gloss over this suggestion, maybe nodding in agreement that it would be a good idea to do this, but that’s all they’ll do. Don’t be them. Do this.
Take a little notebook around with you over the next few days and write down things that make you angry or stressed. At the end of the three day period, go through the list and determine if they’re things that are under your control or not. Then figure out if there are things that are under your control that you’re passing off as things that aren’t.
Stop making excuses.
It’s simple. Pay attention to how you think and talk and if you ever make an excuse, stop yourself, and then figure out how you can take ownership over the situation, no matter the situation.
This is true power, ownership, that is. It’s actively controlling what you can and the man who does this isn’t easily defeated.
One should count each day a separate life. ~ Seneca
End each day with the question, If this day was my life, would I consider it a success?
It’s a simple but profound barometer. Success in life, after all, is a series of successful days. The future, however, isn’t always easy to work for nor to get excited about. A day is a life wrapped into 24 hours. When you add that kind of weight to a single day and you’re genuine about answering that question at every day’s end, it’s difficult not to have urgency in your hours and minutes.
Urgency and excitement are what allow us access to energy that defies what’s normal or common. Most people live a sedated life, almost waiting for their final day or blissfully ignorant to the fact that it’s coming, getting ever more close with each passing minute.
They live in such a manner because there is no urgency nor importance on their time. Time is something that ticks, it’s here to be spent or wasted or enjoyed, not used.
The worker, the hustler, the fella with the fundamental understanding that a day really does matter, and thus, so does an hour and a minute and the focuses of each should fit into one’s idea of a good life, a successful life, in the end, wins.
He wins because he doesn’t waste time. He doesn’t waste a day nor an hour nor a minute.
A day without accomplishment cannot be judged favorably. Accomplishment is time well-used. Time well used is time that fits into the overall goal or plan for a life. If, within your day, you accomplish one or two things that bring you closer to your overall idea of success, then you’ve succeeded.
If you’ve spent more time being pulled away into projects and attitudes and thoughts that don’t fit your definition of a good life, then you’ve failed.
It’s a personal definition, but if you want to build a great business, one that leaves a legacy far after you’re dead, then work without distraction has to be an important part of your day.
I assume you also want to ‘live’, thus, a day spent outdoors, in the woods, in new lands, or in adventures, has to also be deemed victorious.
Every day doesn’t have to be the same, nor should it. They shouldn’t be measured by the same categories because on different days our focuses change.
Your work matters, it’s a part of who you are and why you’re here.
Your family and friends matter, they’re an important piece of having a happy, meaningful life. Adventure and exploration are also important. At times work has to be left and an adventure has to be had.
If every day is successful in either of those three categories, then your life will be as well.
He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. ~ Epictetus
Advertising is all around us and it rarely seems like advertising at all. We’re shown what we should aspire to have when our friend buys a new car. We’re told what to buy and what to desire when we watch a TV show. (Read This:How to Fight Your Desires)
A life of consumption is a life of dependence. How can a man be free if he’s dependent on the rush of a purchase?
Power comes from being self-reliant and being in control of your desires. It’s becoming more and more difficult, to be in control, to know what’s real and what’s not, or what’s needed and what isn’t.
The vision or the ideal you’re being pitched by your pal, your neighbor, or your TV screen isn’t real. It’s now what you should want because it isn’t the thing that will get you what you want.
What you want is power, freedom, accomplishment, and happiness.
A purchase cannot do that. What you do not have cannot do that.
Everything you need is within your brain and your soul and it’s your job to figure out how to bring it about.
What you have, your health, your family, your friendships, and my favorite thing, your potential, shouldn’t just be appreciated but rejoiced. You should be ecstatic about what you have. You should write it down every day and realize that focusing on what you don’t have is a rabbit hole that will never end.
When you make it a habit of desiring things and stuff that aren’t already yours, you won’t break that habit. It doesn’t matter how much you acquire or how much you end up owning, it will always end up owning you.
Change. Now. Be unlike the minions who see and buy and build up debt. Know what’s important in life, it’s actually quite simple.
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. ~ Seneca
Safe goals are cowardice. A safe life is the life of a coward; it’s a life of fear, a timid life that will someday be a regretted life.
To dare to aim higher, to live to a greater standard may bring bigger obstacles and more risk, but it will also provide more meaning, happiness, and value. It is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
An average life where one doesn’t dare is a life filled with pain, sorrow, and regret. A daring life is actually easier, more enjoyable and far more exciting than a timid life. Yet, most choose safety over excitement. They somehow figure that it’s easier to live when you’re not really living at all. So they slide into a life laid out for them. They follow paths that have been trodden by millions. They avoid risk and daring and as a result they avoid excitement and passion.
Difficulty isn’t the obstacle in life. Life is difficult. It always has been and it always will be. Accepting that and opening yourself up to something more is a shit of the mind that won’t make things tougher or darker, on the contrary, it will make things brighter.
Life is something we’re supposed to be excited about.
Whatever you’re currently setting out to do, aim higher. Whatever your goals or your vision for your life, dare mightier. Whatever you’re chasing, put it down and reach for something bigger.
It better befits a man to laugh than to lament over it. Seneca
One of the best ‘skills’ I’ve learned is to laugh at the stupid shit I do, the pickles I find myself in, the predicaments that are self-inflicted. (Read This:Control Your Thoughts)
I used to go to a dark place, replaying them over and over again, avoiding life all the while I’m living in a dark place while my life is quite alright if I’d only sit up and realize such.
It is better to laugh than to lament.
Think about those times in your life where you were really down. Think about what drove you to be there. Those moments are now gone, maybe even forgotten completely. It does you no good to feed your despair. It would serve you well to fuel laughter, a brighter outlook on your life, one that sees that hard times are merely a part of the journey. (Read This:Life is Hard. Deal With It.)
It’s easier said than done, of course, but one activity that has helped me is identifying three things I’m grateful for that happened within the last 24 hours. It’s an activity, a habit that forces you to find the good.
Another habit I’ve created is finding one solution to a problem that I face everyday. It’s a habit that forces you to actively find solutions.
Laughter, however, is the best medicine.
Learn to laugh at events, and more importantly at yourself. You know your insecurities, you know the things that bring you down, that keep you down, expose them, open them up to ridicule, laugh at them.
Treat your weaknesses like a muscle. The only way to build a muscle is to first break it down.
Your misfortunes are yours and they’re yours to bear. That sounds incredibly insensitive, but it’s also true. We’ve gotten away from truth lately. We’ve created victims where there aren’t any.
We’ve ignored the roles of the sexes. We’ve turned our back on the fact that there is such thing as manliness, and it’s earned not innate. It’s earned through bearing one’s burdens manfully, with honor and courage and strength.
This isn’t to say you don’t talk about them in an effort to find a solution, it’s simply to say that you don’t complain about them, or talk about them looking for someone to save you from your misfortunes.
A reality you, I, we all have to come to grips with is that we are where we deserve to be. This place may suck, it may be warranted, or we could have simply lost the birth lottery. The reality is, however, that we are here for a reason, and it’s our duty to end up in a much better place. That doesn’t merely mean financially, but in our relationships, in the value we give others, in the men we are.
That better place is earned by bearing misfortunes with honor. It’s won by acquiring greater obstacles that come with more audacious goals.
Do not wish your misfortunes would go away. Bear them. Bear them with your head high and your mind set on finding, no, creating a solution.