Have you ever chatted with a billionaire? How about a multimillionaire or simply someone you look up to or aspire to be like, or adopt some aspect of his life…
I have with every instance above.
I’ve chatted with billionaires, and they’re impressive. I’ve talked at length with guys who’ve grown their net worth into the hundreds of millions.
I’ve had great conversations with guys I look up to, who’ve done things that I would love to do, but in all honesty, a part of me feels as though I’m ‘unworthy’ of doing what they’ve done.
The best explanation of this seeming gap between high-achievers and those who never get close to their potential was best explained in an episode of Ballers, the show that Dwayne Johnson is in…
His character had a chat with his business partner about going after the big things in life versus not. He told a story of his old man, who met his boss after years of working for him and came to the conclusion after chatting with the guy that he wasn’t all that different from him…
“We’re all just guys”, was the line he used.
And it’s completely true.
From all the awesome conversations I’ve had with high performers and achievers, I could whittle it down to a characteristic that they possess that others don’t, but that wouldn’t necessarily be true.
Most of them focus better than the rest, because they choose to.
They stick to a single path and work harder while they’re on that path.
But at the same time, some are scatterbrained and go after everything, not just one thing (though I think this isn’t the greatest way to do things, it has worked).
Others are naturally lazy, they fight and defeat that laziness, of course, but they hire others who do a lot of the work for them, they’re essentially idea-men.
Some are natural leaders, but not all.
Some have impressive confidence, others lack it completely.
We are, indeed, all just guys. Some believe we belong in certain places, others don’t.
Some believe they deserve or can achieve success, others don’t.
Constantly deviating from the path you’ve set yourself on will make success less likely.
Quitting will guarantee failure.
That there is the commonality, none of the super successful fellas I’ve talked to are quitters. They keep moving forward, they’re always moving forward. In fact, they fail MORE than most, they just also keep trying long after their competition has quit.
No matter where you are, what you’ve done up to this point, there is always another opportunity if you choose to go out and work hard enough that you’ll deserve it.
If you’re down, get up, dust yourself off, make no excuses, see the challenges and relish in the continual work it will take to struggle through them.
You need accomplishment. That is, you literally need to win. You need to give your time to something, get better at it every day, then in a decade or two of refining your skills, you need to win at that pursuit.
You need purpose. A lot of ‘purpose’ comes from work, why we’re working, and who you’re working for. Not our boss, but who we’re trying to improve – our families, charities we give to, people we help out. Our work is often just a vehicle to give us purpose.
You need relationships with other humans, good ones, not relationships that are relegated to the phone or social media, but real, deep, emotional relationships.
These are few and far between today as people count their friends not on one hand like humans used to, but by how many ‘friends’ they have on Facebook.
You need health. Thus, you need pain. Pain gets you stronger and tougher. You can’t be an alcoholic or a drug addict and win at life. That’s a massive gap in what winning is, which brings me to the next point.
You can’t be a victim in any sense of the word. You can’t be a victim to society, to a system, to a way of thinking, a way of spending, a way of eating. You have to be self-reliant – not completely, as you’ll always depend on others in some way for something, even if ‘others’ are books. But you cannot be a victim to win.
Possessions are things we buy that end up owning us.
We become victims of all we’ve bought because we love it, we need it for our feelings of self-worth and status. These feelings aren’t real, they’re not tangible nor are they logical. You can’t become a better, more valuable human, nor can you be a winner, simply because you’ve bought more cool stuff.
That isn’t what winning is at life. Sure, some people will think you’re a winner, but you shouldn’t care what people think. When they think you’re a loser, ignore them. When they think you’re a winner, ignore them.
The opinions of sheep hold no weight and they should garner no attention.
Think about what winning is in your own life. Think about the things you really want to accomplish and the life you truly want to lead, the one that will give you purpose, meaning, accomplishment, and happiness.
Then remove all of the things that take you away from that existence, that stand in its way. You’ll have clarity. You’ll have focus. And you’ll have a direction to set your sails and a course to follow for the rest of your life.
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.