The best a man can be? We’re seeing this call for masculinity to be labeled as ‘toxic’. The reality is, that their definition of toxic is actually something you should aspire to be. I dive into the APA’s recent definition of toxic masculinity, how they got it wrong, and why you should fight back.
How to Act with Honor
Courage is the most important virtue for without it, the rest fall apart. To build the foundation of who you are on courage is to build a solid foundation, one on rock and not the sand that the masses rest on.
- Hold an unpopular opinion that’s true, that deviates from what everyone else is thinking
- Stand by that opinion in public regardless of what it does to your reputation
- Stand by someone else you know to be good and honest, think Rosanne, who’s being dragged through the mud by soulless idiots
- Build a business that employs people, this is the best form of charity, and if you get rich you decide where the money goes.
- Put your money where your mouth is, never speak on things that you don’t have a vested interest in (think intellectual economists who don’t have their money in the market and don’t have a real world job where they practice their theories, who also ignore the history of what their theories have led to) – don’t be them. If you say something, do it.
You lack courage if…
Your private life conflicts with your intellectual opinion, it cancels your intellectual ideas, not your private life.
- Think Canadian environmentalist David Suzuki who hates the free market and growth in business, yet employs dozens or hundreds in his foundation that only exists because of the market.
- Who hates consumption and yet consumes regularly, but wants others not to
- Who hates energy, namely oil, but also claims to despise inequality, ignoring that fossil fuels are the cheapest form of energy, and that carbon taxes do the most harm to those who cannot afford to pay more in tax.
Always do more than you talk.
We live in an age of talkers who do very little. We proclaim and that proclamation leads us to feel as though we’ve accomplished something.
There’s research that goes back a century showing that we should not proclaim our goals, instead, we should set them and work on them in silence.
When we voice our desires and aspirations it sends a signal to our brain that we’ve accomplished what we want to achieve, making us feel the satisfaction of achievement without having achieved anything.
Don’t announce your goals. Set them in silence. And work your ass off.
Also, do not tell people what you’re going to do. Do it.
Do good works in silence.
Don’t do good works for show, it removes the virtue in the works. A good thing only remains good if it’s done in silence.
Follow this Bible verse:
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Accept responsibility for your past, present, and future.
Don’t blame other people for anything. Accept responsibility and do the best you can with where you are and with what you have. That’s all anyone has ever done. No great man has ever waited and prayed for a miracle, the miracle is their potential and the amount of effort they can put in for how long.
The miracle has been given, now shut up and work.
Be a fighter.
Stand up for what you believe. Don’t give an inch. Honor isn’t honor unless it’s acted upon. You cannot merely think honorably, you have to back it up.
Note: MUCH of this podcast was inspired by Nassim Taleb’s book, Skin in the Game. It’s an AWESOME read, I highly recommend getting a copy.
The antidote to fear is aggression
“To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order.” ~ Jordan Peterson
The object of our fear is typically something we should move toward, not turn and run from.
Fear, though ancestrally it was used for survival and to avoid danger, has become more of a compass, a guiding light and north star than a deterrent.
What we want most in life, the life we want to build and live, is often what we’re most afraid to act on.
We want to build our own empire but we’re too afraid that the years of work will be in vain, so we don’t act.
Fear needs an antidote, and its antidote is its opposite, aggression.
Aggression is something that instills fear in that which is being shown aggression. The aggressor cannot be both the aggressor and the victim, thus, by acting with aggression, the one in fear becomes the one without it, or at least the one moving to oppose it.
Jordan Peterson’s quote at the beginning is powerful.
We have to admit that life is scary. There is so much in life, in the world, to be afraid of. I can be terrifying, and the more we attempt to accomplish, the more opportunity for terror there will be simply because the scope of what we’re aiming at is more audacious.
This terror, this chaos, however, exists for everyone. You are not alone in your fear. It’s shared by every human in existence if they think about life, about its greater questions, even about the possibilities of what can happen on a daily basis.
But there’s a choice.
You do not have to live in the fear, you can stand up to it, face it, even beat the living shit out of it.
Let’s take both the immediate usefulness of this and the broader, maybe even greater usefulness of aggression, and then let’s be real about what society thinks about and intends to do about the capacity for a man’s aggression.
Actually, let’s start off with this, a well-trained, physically conditioned man is a deadly weapon. Some see this and are afraid of it, they think about historical myths like the patriarchy and see the oppressor, willingly remaining blind to the other half of the coin, the protector and defender, and as such, with a very narrow and distorted and wrong view of the world and of history, want to soften this potentially deadly weapon.
And so they teach men, young men, that being a man is a dangerous thing, something to be ashamed of. Something that’s done more harm in history than good – which is a perspective, but an ignorant one. Men and women, together, have been oppressed, together, throughout history.
Men and women were sent to the gas chambers pretty soon after their government confiscated their guns, their potential for being deadly.
Men and women were enslaved all over the world, and still are.
Men have fought and died in wars, since time immemorial, trying to protect what’s important to them.
We have a shared success and a shared oppression, men and women that is. We are not enemies, and haven’t been in our history. We necessarily work together, something that modern feminism and leftism is trying to destroy.
And so they attack the potential power of the man, while being so ignorant and blind to the fact that evil exists, danger exists, and bad people exist, and good men who are also deadly can keep this evil outside the gates, as they have done for our entire history as humans.
So yes, a good man who is deadly is as valuable thing as there is in our great and free society.
And then there’s you and I, the individual.
We’re facing this thing called life. It seems to grand to comprehend, and yet we must live it well every day.
We have dreams, all of us do, and we want to win them, accomplish them, make them real.
We have fears, we all do, and we want to conquer those as well.
And so, we have that innately male characteristic, the one that’s made a little more abundant by our most powerful hormone, testosterone, and made more effective by the same hormone, that thing, of course, is aggression.
Testosterone gives us a bit more of it, along with a greater aptitude to take risks, and it gives us the muscle, the power to be able to make our aggression – at least in the physical sense – successful.
You and I have fears in the micro, and fears in the macro.
The fears in the micro may be the thug that wants to break into our house.
Fears in the macro may be that we’re afraid that we might fail, that our work will be in vain, that we aren’t truly worthy of our dreams, that we’re going to fail and leave our families with nothing.
Both fears must be met with aggression, they must be attacked.
When you sense fear in the moment, stand tall with your shoulders back and be aggressive.
When you feel the weight of the world on your back, when you find yourself doubting who you are and what you’re capable of, stand talk with your shoulders back, your eyes wide open, and march forward aggressively, like a man, and conquer those fears.
Become a fucking legend.
Pick up my new book, the man diet, at the mandietbook.com and learn how to produce more of that wonderful hormone that makes us men.
The Man Show Episode 2
Listen on iTunes: https://goo.gl/wfwY1B
When you don’t feel like doing something that’s usually a sign that you should do it.
What should you do if you’re in a funk? Exactly what you had set out to do in the first place.
This is the difference between winners and losers.
Winners do not believe all of their feelings to be true and good.
This is where planning has to come in. If you don’t spend an hour or so planning your week once a week, and if you don’t spend another hour or so planning tomorrow, you leave victory and success, even life, to chance.
You become a victim of your feelings. It’s a state that most people exist in.
It’s one of being pushed by currents rather than setting sails and going in the desired direction.
So, I did not feel like doing this podcast today.
Which is exactly why I had to do it.
Here’s what’s important to know – not just understand…
It’s these moments, days, even months and years, where you’re feeling down, useless, and in a funk, that determine your LIFE.
When you feel great and up to it, you’re going to do the work and embark on the adventures. Of course you are. You feel like it. But everyone does the work when they feel like doing the work.
Only a minority do great and good work, even go through the proper motions, when they don’t feel like doing it.
These are the moments that determine your life.
Every life is filled with moments of action, where feelings lead to ambitious undertakings.
Only winners do what needs to be done, when they feel like curling up in their bed and turning on the TV. When they feel lost. When life feels futile. Only winners still do what must be done.
And yes, we all have these feelings.
We all get in a funk. We all suddenly realize the futility of our efforts – or at least see things from that perspective. But if you’re going to accomplish anything of value, and live a life worth living, not wasted and misused like so many are, you have to do what you set out to do when you don’t feel like doing it.
Fast action steps to naturally increase testosterone levels in men:
- Remove plastics from your life.
- Get natural deodorants, shampoos, soaps.
- Sleep 8-9 hours/night (with every extra hour you sleep you get 15% MORE testosterone, capping off at 9 hours of sleep).
- Get your body fat below 14% (estrogen stores itself in body fat).
- Eat like a man —> Get your free copy of the Man Diet (free book).
To learn more about how to naturally increase testosterone levels, pick up the Man Diet (free book) here.