I’m working my way through Tim Grover’s, Relentless, right now.
Tim is Michael Jordan’s strength coach, and Kobe Bryant’s. He’s spent a lot of time around guys who are killers, winners on another level, they’re beyond competitive.
It’s a great book, one that dives into the darkness of victory, the instinct of it.
Instinct is something many of us have lost. We were born with instincts. I remember being a kid, wanting to beat anyone and everyone at anything.
I’d fight all the time. I loved it. Slowly, however, we all confuse being good with being nice. We see this desire to kill, to do
minate, to hunt, as bad, and we soften it, let it go in an attempt to civilize.
You cannot ever become fully civilized if you want victory. Something within you has to remain true to those instincts and sometimes advice can cloud that inner voice, that ‘gut feeling’ that a man should always listen to first.
While I’m a guy who gives advice, who shows guys how to eat, train and become more disciplined, the advice is something you have to watch out for. Too much of it can lead you to live someone else’s life and lose those instincts that we all need to thrive.
So take advice from people who actually have your best interests in mind, but don’t take advice from everyone. Don’t seek advice from everyone either.
Years ago I stopped seeking so much damn advice and started doing my thing, whether it was business or life, and it’s helped me live life on my terms and build a business on my terms.
Listen, who do we admire, the man in a crowd, one of many, or the original, the man who stands on his own, who leads, who goes his own way?
We’re a tribe here, but no man can lose his ability to listen to his gut, to thrive off instinct rather than advice.
My dog, Teddy, doesn’t for a second think about chasing a deer, he just does it, and it’s nearly impossible to hold him back.
A lion doesn’t think about killing, that’s just what lions do.
Men should spend less time thinking about doing what they know deep down they need to do, and just do it.
When you have a decision to make, make it, follow the first thing that came to your mind and deal with the consequences later.
If you’re wrong, pivot, and fix the mistake, but stop living the safe life, the life led by the advice of others, where the tough decisions of your life can be pawned off on someone else so that, in part, they can share the blame if it’s the wrong decision.
Trust your gut.
It takes confidence to trust your gut. And if you don’t have confidence, and you want to develop it, start there.
Start by making fast and firm decisions, then follow through on them.
Be the lion, do as lions do. React, forget if everything is perfect. Forget about thinking about every scenario and outcome.
Get after it.
To give your mind only to those things that make you a better man, this is what is the ideal, the thing we strive for. Everything else, those things that are not necessary, are non-essential.
I just opened up Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography the other day. Franklin, as a young man, made a plan to become great. He saw goodness and greatness in the same light. And he saw the mastery of 13 virtues as his path to doing great things.
Greatness wasn’t in his bloodline, at least not in the same way it was for Aurelius. Franklin was born poor, yet he saw his destiny as something he controlled. He saw God’s gifts as the potential for him to rise, but his action as what will actually make him ascend in a society far more difficult to rise up in that our modern one.
Before you ever determine what you specific quest may be, before you know what you’re working toward, be as Ben was and aim simply to be great, then determine the things that will help you get there.
The “things” that will help you get there are already within your grasp, they have just yet to take hard form. They aren’t more money – the myth that you need money to make money can be dispelled time and time again. You don’t need more courage, that’s something you have that you’ve left dormant for far too long. You don’t need more help, that will come when you begin helping yourself. You don’t need a greater potential because you have no clue what yours is as you are right now.
What you need are better habits. You need to live virtues, and you need to identify what those virtues are. Your quest, as is mine, isn’t to change the world by creating something or to conquer the land. Our quest isn’t yet laid out for us in that fashion, the quest simply is as it was for the young Ben Franklin:
To become great not by achieving something of great value but by becoming so good, so great of a human, a man, that greatness has no recourse but to find its way into our lives.
This, at it’s base, is the act of manning up. This is forcing yourself to do what you must to be at your best and what you must do is not easy. You need to develop the manly virtues of courage, humility, frugality, honor, and others. And it’s these virtues that will take you from where you are now to the badass mother fucker that you have the potential to become.
Mediocrity is evil, if you think about it. Mediocrity, which can be defined in so many ways so we’ll simply define it as you not being anywhere near your potential yet being perfectly fine with that fact, is avoidance of life. It’s giving in to what the masses have given in to, a kind of purgatorial existence awaiting something better to come when death arrives.
Mediocrity is living as a shell of the man you can become, and that’s evil. It’s evil if you’re a Christian or a Jew, a Muslim or Buddhist, atheist, agnostic, whatever you believe in, wasting what you were given, an opportunity, is not good in any sense.
To become great, to man the fuck up both daily and in the bigger picture, the virtues of manliness must be a part of your character and your character must be that thing that leads you to a better life.
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.
You can contact him at –
The Search After Great Men: Man Up
The search after the great men is the dream of youth, and the most serious occupation of manhood. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
As boys, we idolize great men, be they fictional or real. They’re our heroes. (Read This: Every Young Man Needs a Model)
When I was a kid I was puzzled by Muhammad Ali’s dodging of the draft for the Vietnam War. He could kill everyone – or so the logic went in my small little brain. I obviously thought the same about John Wayne. Why wouldn’t they just send John Wayne in to fight the Nazis or whoever the bad guy was at the time?
When we get older – and I wouldn’t say ‘old’, in past generations this started at 17 years of age if not earlier – this becomes our pursuit, and it should be a serious pursuit.
You cannot dream about being a great man, you’re not a boy any longer, it’s time that you craft a plan and follow it every day.
The Dead Serious Quest to Man Up
We grow up later in our society than we did before. It is, in part, because our lives are longer, but we’re also lazier and far more entitled than we’ve ever been. We’re creating entitlement generations by awarding and rewarding them without merit, just for participation. (Read This: Nothing is Deserved Unless it’s Earned)
At some point the notion that you’re the center of the world or that you’re deserving of something you haven’t yet earned has to end, this is when you man up, when you become a man, when you take greatness more seriously.
There comes a time when life has to be taken more seriously, and this includes having fun, adventure, relationships, and your career path.
Life has to be taken more seriously because it’s fleeting. With every day you’re brought closer to your death. This is serious. What’s more is that most people exist in ignorance of this fact. They ignore death and doom and go through their days disregarding the significance of this countdown.
To be a man is to pursue not just a more serious life, but to pursue greatness in every moment of life.
That’s the difference between men and boys and mere males. Men are trying to extract every ounce of life out of life. They attack each day with their goal in mind, with their quest in the front of their mind.
Man up! Stop acting as if there are no consequences for your lack of clarity or for your laziness. Man up! Stop pushing greatness to tomorrow and stop idolizing others who’ve accomplished it already or are on their way to doing so.
You’re a man, dammit, man up and start acting like one by doing what you’ve been afraid to do up to this point.
There are choices, daily, that men make that boys don’t.
Choose to read instead of watching TV.
Choose to work on your house instead of ‘relaxing’.
Choose to work another hour instead of playing video games.
Choose to spend time with your family instead of surfing the net.
Manliness is a choice, and a dead serious one at that. Make the choice to man up every day. It’s a lifetime pursuit, and it’s your duty to pursue it as such.
Wake up every day as if greatness is your purpose.
I’m not a huge fan of the term, but when applied to every area of your life it provides clarity as to what your choices must be in every single moment.
Let’s say there’s something called a ‘real man ratio’ within every generation and society. I assume we can agree that all males aren’t men as not a human in their right mind would deem a dependent who’s still in his thirties, ‘a man’.
With that out of the way, the ratio would pit men against mere males. Males would be anyone over the age of 18 who’s a slacker, a self-entitled slob, someone who isn’t in any way self-reliant and who feels he’s earned a good job and a fair wage simply because he has student debt.
A man would be anyone who holds the qualities of manliness. He is largely self-reliant in that he supports himself and maybe his dependents. He takes pride in his work, his appearance, and how he treats others.
We can likely picture the latter by thinking about our grandfathers. Always dressed in slacks, when we ask them about their first house it was usually purchased in their early twenties and only after years of hard work in a mill or maybe after they got back from the war. Maybe they tell us about how they worked three jobs to support their burgeoning family. They didn’t travel the world, nor did they rack up thousands of dollars in debt. They only bought what they could afford and they couldn’t afford much – hence the three jobs.
That’s what my grandfather would talk about…
… My Nonno, on my mom’s side, would talk about the war, where he fought in Siberia, had to kill his best friend who’d contracted frostbite in the worst way. He then came home to Italy, began working in a coal mill in Canada until he saved up enough money to ship his family out with him. The coal mill story would usually start after I ask him where his finger was – “probably still in the mill”.
He’s dead now, but that’s how I remember him.
Now, think about millennial’s. It’s a fair comparison because they’re either in their early twenties or thirties, thus, they’re of fighting age and working age and family age if they were born a few generations earlier. What are they going to tell their grandkids? What stories of sacrifice and work and providing a better life for their seeds with they have?
If he’s not going to tell his grandkids about how many loose women he bedded in his day or how his folks paid for his healthcare until he was thirty or how he used their kindness so he could spend all his money and then some traveling the world only to come back and need a loan, he’s not going to have much to tell them.
The Greatest Generation grew up in the Great Depression. They grew up with next to nothing, and then they went and fought in the Great War. Before they were 25 they knew poverty and death, which makes sense that they knew frugality and what truly matters in life.
It’s that generation, including the generations since, that would have to have the greatest ‘real man ratio’, and not just for the reasons listed above.
- You couldn’t feel entitled back then because they didn’t have the pussified political correctness nor the free wheeling debt we have today.
The best man got the job and if you didn’t get it you went on to the next, and while you tried to work your way up in a company, you didn’t expect a raise because you’d been there for two years (40% of millennial’s expect a raise after 2 years regardless of their performance!).
- They didn’t grow up getting participation trophies. They had to earn what they got. Participation trophies weren’t actually something that they could afford, nor did they make any sense.
We now have a generation that thinks they deserve an award simply for showing up, and when the real world slaps them in the face with the reality of – at least in part – there being something called a meritocracy, they crumble and cry and complain and vote for socialists, the government of participation awards.
We can learn something from them.
I’m not nearly half the man either of my grandfathers are, nor am I half the man that my old man is, and I grew up just after the participation trophy craze. I can’t imagine the thought process of a male whose only goal is to be famous, who thinks that things make the man and that bedding women is life’s most important pursuit. Thus, let’s take lessons from men who had more dignity, who held women in a higher regard, who worked harder, were smarter, and left this world freer than it was when they entered it.
The lessons will focus around manhood. Why? Because we’re men, and to not aim to be the best man you can be is a travesty. We’re also producing less men and more males. That is, our ‘real man ratio’ is the worst in history. We’ve never been more self-entitled. We’ve never been more politically correct (hedging on cultural Marxism). We’ve never been a sadder lot that produces less and consumes more.
Here are but a few lessons in manhood that we can learn from them.
1. No one cares.
The Greatest Generation had the pleasure of living without social media. Photos couldn’t be viewed instantly, let alone shared with every single human they knew. They were not the center of their own universe. They did not have a Facebook or Twitter or Instagram account that they linked so closely to their identity.
We, however, see our Facebook pages as our story, it’s the image we want to portray of the life we want to show people we’re living. The life we’re actually living is secondary. So long as we get likes, so long as our number of friends grows, we are important.
It’s all a lie, of course. A generation who lived without this lie knew that they weren’t exceptional or more important than their neighbour. They didn’t sit at a screen with envy or try to conjure the same emotion in others by posting a picture of a beach with a Corona in hand and a silly little title like ‘life is hard’ written underneath the picture.
What’s so wrong with thinking that everyone cares about what you’re doing? It isn’t the truth.
There has to be truth in life, there has to be reality, or else we’re lending meaning, time, energy, and most importantly, our thoughts, to something that isn’t real, that holds no real weight or value. So many live to impress others. They live so that their peers will envy them. Their pursuits are not their own but rather what they think would convince other humans that they’re living a great life, maybe even making them a tad jealous in the process.
This goes passed pursuits and into purchases as well. Most of what we buy isn’t for the betterment of our own lives, but to fit an ideal that’s set before us by advertising in some form in an effort to feel as though we’re ‘winning’. You have to realize that no one cares about most of the things going on in your life right now that you think they care about.
In his book, The Road to Character, David Brooks writes about ‘success’ in the 1950s. Within the same block you’d have the foreman, tradesman, and even the CEO of the same company. By the size of their house you wouldn’t be able to whom held which position, nor by the car in their driveway. It was a faux pas to try to stand out. Today, it’s almost weird not to. We buy things to impress people we really don’t have any business trying to impress.
The Greatest Generation understood this for many reasons. For one, they didn’t have the ready access to credit like we do today. So we spend more money on useless things that we don’t really own. The banks owns them, and thus, they own us.
Two, they didn’t have social media, a way to show the world the wonderful life they were living, and by all accounts it wouldn’t have succeeded back then, when people were far more private, preferring to invite someone over for dinner, to have what they once called a face-to-face conversation, something that’s almost a relic today.
Three, stuff, the big stuff, was more expensive in relation to what they earned annually. Today things are made incredibly cheaply, from clothes to cars, and combining the access to credit that nearly everyone has to the decrease of prices of goods, combined again with a more vain and narcissistic culture, a consumer-culture on steroids, and you have an idea as to why we care so much about what other people think.
Manhood doesn’t occur on someone else’s terms. It cannot include envy or vanity. Men of yesteryear, oddly enough, dressed impeccably, with much more pride, but with much less vanity. They did it out of pride not to show the world what they had.
Live your own life. Taking a break from social media, from the mall, from online shopping or the credit card, isn’t a bad idea either. To connect with yourself sometimes you have to disconnect with the rest of the world.
2. Nothing is handed to you.
When you grow up in the Great Depression, where jobs were scarce and you took any form of employment you could get your hands on (watch or read: the Cinderella Man), you appreciate work.
Think about that for a second…
Appreciating work, what an incredible concept. It’s the job that gives your day a purpose, your life meaning, a reason for you to rise in the morning and get at it, the compensation for said job is secondary. Today we’re concerned first about the compensation, then about what the jobs gives us and what we give it.
Work is a part of our DNA. Men have always worked. We used to hunt and gather and protect. Our ‘job’ was to protect and to provide, and that purpose hasn’t changed. We still need to protect and provide, we can just go about it in a much different fashion today.
We need work to give us meaning and purpose, and as a means of accomplishment. We need accomplishment to feel as though we’re living for a reason, that we’ve used our talents for some kind of good.
You don’t deserve something because you spent a lot of money on a degree. You don’t deserve a raise because you’ve been at a company for a couple years. You don’t even deserve an opportunity. You can earn each, but you’re entitled to none.
Good things come at the end of hard work, and day one in the workforce is the first step on a long road that may end in success if you earn it. It won’t end in success if you feel entitled to it.
I had a kid comment on an article on this site saying that he actually felt entitled to a high-paying job because of his university degree. I can’t believe that someone would find this site with that mindset. Yet, he still held it. That’s what’s wrong with millennial’s. They’ve been born into an opulent time. They’ve been spoiled. They’ve been handed awards of participation. They’ve been coddled. They’ve been sold on an end and not taught about the means.
A participation award seems so odd to our grandparents because participation was expected, it wasn’t rewarded. If you wanted an award you had to go above and beyond what everyone else was doing. That’s a free market, that’s capitalism, and those who are willing to work will thrive within a free system. Those who aren’t willing to work, who want to get what others have without having to sacrifice what others have sacrificed would rather have socialism or communism – until they get their tax bill in the mail if they ever get off their ass, of course – where hard work, ingenuity, and innovation are punished.
Nothing of value can be handed to you. It shouldn’t be expected nor demanded, but earned.
Maybe it’s because we’ve grown up in a time of plenty and the Greatest Generation grew up in famine. Maybe it’s because we’ve been awarded participation trophies and they either got first, second, third, or nothing. The reasons are many, but the causes are an envious, lazy lot that could learn a thing or two from those great men who turned our nations into the powerhouses they now are.
“Because there is very little honor left in American life, there is a certain built-in tendency to destroy masculinity in American men. –Norman Mailer
Manhood is won, it isn’t bestowed, nor is it innate. The Greatest Generation earned the moniker, they also worked hard every day to become men, to live as men, we can see it in their words, how they carried themselves, and who they ended up becoming.
They have far more responsibility at a much younger age. They’d seen more in the war than most of us will ever see about the nature of man, about war, about the frailty of life and its brutality.
We have the capacity to live a good, manly life, but entitlement will prevent that potential.
Stop thinking you deserve more than what you have. You are exactly where you deserve to be.
3. Be frugal.
Frugality was once the norm. It is now a unicorn. Our lives are so closely tied to our possessions and our possessions continue to multiply that we become slaves to what we own.
For someone reason men of the past felt the sting of a dollar wasted on a far greater scale than we do today. Money wasn’t wasted, it was saved. It wasn’t even necessarily saved to invest or to build a legacy or to buy land, it was simply saved because to spend it frivolously was an irresponsible thing to do.
Men were men on a far greater scale amongst this, our Greatest Generation. As such, it makes sense that they thought of their families first and the things they wanted came a distant second, if that.
Today, as discussed, we are at the center of our universe, thus, what we want we shall have.
This hyper-consumerism does nothing but bring us stress and debt. Most people that devalue the value of money don’t have it. Or, if they have it, they have so much of it that they no longer think about it.
Money, be it in a savings account, in investments, in your company’s treasury, gives you the freedom to not worry about bills and to enjoy life on your terms. When you identify the things that improve your life and those you spend money on that don’t, you free yourself up to live a simpler life, one not riddled with debt but instead covered in freedom.
4. Cut your hair.
There’s something to be said about a generation that had one of two haircuts, either high and tight or trimmed sides with some length on top.
Think about that…
There were no mow hawks nor man buns (how I hate the ‘man’ bun). There was short and crisp, and shorter and crisper. Attire nor grooming were about self-expression. They had more to do with taking pride in how one looked, not trying to set themselves apart from everyone else. Who cares if you stand out? Who cares if people can pick you out of a group because you have pink hair or it stands higher than everyone else’s?
You express yourself by how you live, the quality of your life, not loud pants or face tattoos.
Our society pushes us to express ourselves in the most trivial ways. Fashion is useless. Dress with class but dress with simplicity. Show who you are by the content of your character, the man you are when disaster strikes, the man you are every day, no matter who’s watching.
Cut your damn hair as simply as possible. You aren’t a trend, and you shouldn’t live to follow them.
5. Simplify your life.
A few months ago I hosted my Nana and Poppa for a few days. They came out from the great province of Newfoundland. I got to know the guy more in those two days than I ever have at any other point in my life. I think it’s because I’m just only starting to become a man.
I’m 31 years old, and I just bought a house last year. I’m finally learning to sacrifice, to shut up, to not complain, to do the work and not require applause for the work done.
If he’s a man, I’m still a decade or so behind becoming a man. I’m a work in progress.
We had a few good chats. He married his high school sweetheart when guys still married their high school sweethearts. They’ve travelled a lot together, but when he was a teen travel wasn’t on his mind, nor was college, nor was chasing ladies.
He wanted a job, so he found one. He had a family, so he built them a house and got a couple more jobs. They still live in that house. Their family is still the most important thing they have in this world. Life is as it should be, simple. He loves his wife. He can appreciate a nice looking lady other than she, but she is all that matters.
He enjoys a drink at 5pm. Not before, not after, but right at 5pm.
Today we have options. We have so many bloody options that we take 30 and 40 and 50 years to finally turn into men, men with focus and responsibility and some semblance of clarity.
Forget the options! I wish I never went to college. It was an option that did nothing for me – and I mean nothing. I got into debt, paid it off, and only then started saving money to do what I wanted. There were too many jobs. Variety can be a good thing, but I could have stuck with the first job and gotten really good at it and found meaning in it. (Read This: Why You Shouldn’t Go to College)
Life used to be simpler. That doesn’t mean that it can no longer thrive on that same simplicity.
Figure out what matters most to you in life, and bring only those things into your life.
6. Pay it forward.
Much of what the Greatest Generation did was for the next generation.
Much of what we do is for us.
The way we’re going, the next generation will be left with even more debt that we have – thanks baby boomers. The cycle has to stop. Rather than wracking our kids with debt, and not just household debt, but national debt incurred by politicians who spend as if the money they’re spending isn’t money at all.
Elect people who have some semblance of responsibility. Who we elect reflects who we are.
Leave this world a better place than you got it. Leave it a more real place than it was when you entered it. Nothing seems real any more. Not our money, not the markets, our land isn’t even really our land.
I digress, that’s the scotch talking…
My poppa and my nonno live to pay it forward. Start acquiring land, start saving, start thinking about a legacy that includes more than tits and travels.
7. Know how to build, fix, and repair.
Millennial’s seem relatively useless. We’ve grown up in the age of Youtube, where you can find the solution and the steps to solve nearly every problem, and yet we call someone else to fix something that a hammer and nail could cure.
Maybe it’s because so many of them fought in the war, or because help wasn’t always a phone call away, and when you grow up in more rural areas, self-reliance was expected and necessary, but those born in that great generation seem to be a hell of a lot more handy than those born within the past few decades.
I have a theory, and it goes back to participation trophies.
When you’re given an award without earning it, and this applause without merit happens over a fifteen year span, you’re trained to expect things to happen without having to do the work to make them happen.
I can illustrate this point easily from my own life.
A few years back I bought a used truck. She was a beauty, but a lemon (I’d find the second part out at the worst possible time, driving from Vancouver to Calgary with all of my stuff being towed in a u-haul trailer).
I bought it a few months before a move and would use it to take all of my possessions to my new house. One problem: the bed was a tad too small. The solution: I bought a bed-extender.
Picking the thing up I took it to my folks house, opened the box, and began trying to figure out how to install it. Twenty-minutes went by before I got so frustrated that I left the thing and my truck in their driveway and took my pup out for a walk. When I came back my old man was working on the problem, and solving it.
I wouldn’t call him handy at all, but he figured out how to install the thing into the truck bed. The difference wasn’t the accumulation of knowledge – he’s never installed one nor has he owned a truck. The thing that enabled him to do the job was the acceptance that it would take time, trial, and error. I wanted it now. He simply did what had to be done to get the work completed.
Learning how to fix things is just that, learning. It’s important, too. To be a man you have to, in some sense, be self-reliant. You can’t always be depending on others to solve problems for you, be they house chores or problems within your life, sometimes you need to be able to have the patience and the skill to find the solutions on your own. That is what being a man is.
8. Take pride.
I’m not a big style guy, but every time I see my Poppa I realize that I should be taking a bit more pride in how I dress.
Now, this opposes the odd vanity of millennial’s, who spend more money on clothes than investments or books. Taking pride in everything you do is the way of the Greatest Generation. It doesn’t matter if it’s work or attire or how they treat others, they realize that there’s the right way to do something and the wrong way to do something, and they choose the right way.
Where style is concerned, they dress with simplicity, but class. Usually wearing slacks of some kind, with their shirt tucked in and a sweater over top, they take care of their appearance, from their clothes to their haircut. They don’t, however, fret over it. They’re not consumed by clothes or their appearance. There’s a reason why selfies didn’t exist back then.
With regards to their work, it’s an attitude that’s best summed up by Martin Luther King Jr. when he said:
Whatever your life’s work is, do it well! A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.
You can contact him at –
I write a fair amount about great men, trying to find the lessons that they left behind either in their words or their actions. I read about them a fair amount as well.
I’ve loved the books on Teddy Roosevelt and Robert E. Lee that now rest on my shelf. I just put down a book on Captain James Cook and books on Churchill and Napoleon and Cato have all been read and absorbed, their lessons in audacity, their virtues, and sheer determination guide me through my days and help me create a fair amount of content for the site and whatever else I’m writing.
This isn’t the greatness that our society will miss most, however. There will always be men who, with an invention, with their might and courage, their imagination and their grit, shape society. They’ll fight tyranny and lay their lives down for their brothers.
The greatness our society and especially our coming generations may miss out on is even more important. It’s the greatness found not in political office or business or art, but the greatness found at the head of the table as the family sits down for a late evening dinner. As everyone talks about their day, their struggles, complaints, and gripes, this form of greatness sits silent in appreciation of what he has before him. His lessons are rarely written down. Instead you have to pay attention to even realize that they’re being taught. They may come in the form of a word or two, but they’re usually shown through his daily, even routine actions.
They aren’t proclaimed. They aren’t put on a page for the world to see. They aren’t put on Facebook. They exist in the day-to-day struggle of great men who do what must be done to provide for their family, to give their kids a better life.
I’ve never heard my dad complain. The guy isn’t perfect. He’ll tell you that too. But he worked hard to give my mom, sister, and myself all we needed. We couldn’t afford all that much when I was growing up so what needed to be done around the house, he did. He wasn’t handy by any stretch of the imagination, but with the guidance of the “for Dummies” series of books he fixed leaks and renovated a deck, two bathrooms, and a couple other rooms in the house that he bought.
He didn’t do these things for glory. He worked because work is important, it makes a man feel of value, it gives him a purpose. He worked because he needed to. He could have earned more money but he let his faith lead his career choice. (Read This: Find Happiness in Work. Not Work in Happiness)
He taught me a lot, but with few words. They’re lessons I’m only really beginning to fully grasp now. I’m sure when I have a family of my own I’ll only further understand his greatness.
Throughout the evolution of our cultures and societies we’ve been led and uplifted by great men that sit at the head of a filled table come dinner time. They’re leaders of families, not leaders of nations. They don’t seek glory in the slightest. A smile on their child’s face and maybe a thank-you now and then is more than they’d ever wish for.
These are great men.
As our values change for the worse, as we become a more entitled culture, one that feels we deserve things like jobs or food or an education without having earned them, these men become an after thought. As we’re taught to complain about whatever we feel isn’t unjust in our lives our sons cannot grow up to be the men that made our nations great and free.
As we feel we’re the center of the world, boys cannot grow up to be men as many of have known them. The great men I’m speaking of were the center of nothing. Everything was on their shoulders, but their career, their vacations, and their weekends were about their family, not their desires or emotions or dreams.
I can’t believe this, but I’m about to quote Tom Hardy…
“A great man is largely forgotten by the public. He doesn’t stand on top of a mountain waving a flag saying, “Look at me—I’m a great man.” A great man often disappears into the ether.
Hardly anyone notices that he was even there, apart from his family and close friends. He was reliable. He showed up. He was there. He was useful where he could be. He made mistakes.
Tried to make better of those mistakes. Doesn’t mean you have to cure cancer or understand the theory of relativity. It’s not necessarily as rock-and-roll or as cool as you might think.
Part of being a great man is accepting that. To dare to be average and normal is actually a pathway to becoming a great man. To have more humility. To accept responsibility more. To just get on with what’s in front of your face. And to leave no fucking indelible mark of your ever being here, apart from the fact that you were there for your family to the best of your ability. It’s not an easy task. I’ll probably fuck it up.”
Political Correctness Causes Cowards
There are forces in our society right now that we can brush off as being a part of the times. But they’re dangerous. They’re dangerous because they threaten to make the values that bore a great and free nation obsolete and evil. These forces come under the guise of political correctness and a society that’s trying to be more accepting when the opposite results. We create divisions. Goodness and greatness are no longer things we aspire for, but mediocrity. We praise the odd, the weird, we give a man who turns himself into a woman the woman of the year award. (Read This: A Man Cannot Be Politically Correct)
It’s silly, laughable even, but the direction we’re pointing our society will make us miss out on the backbone that has always allowed us to stand firm. When we can’t call what’s wrong, wrong, nor fight against evil both by identifying it nor by killing it, we’re spineless, open for attack and unable to defend what made us great because we’re completely ignorant to its existence.
Saying that fathers, those hard-working leaders who woke up early, without complaint, day in and day out, are the backbone of our society is likely even politically incorrect. But it’s true. And when we teach our youngsters that working hard isn’t that important, and we don’t award them for the fruits of the effort, nor tell them simple truths like there are two genders, and what you identify as is nice, but it isn’t founded in reality, we confuse the heck out of young humans are are already confused enough.
When we tell our teens that they can hide from the realities of the world and from the differing opinions of others we remove their ability to become tough. And in removing the trials and the grit that our men need to develop, we create generations of spineless pussies who cannot do what men have done for thousands of years: defend their homes and lead their families.
Men are and always have been the burden-bearers. When we get it into our son’s minds that they can avoid the harshness and toughness of life we remove the crutch that everyone else would lean on in their time of need. (Check This Out: Life Is Hard. Deal With It.)
The Compass of the Collective
I had my old man as a guide. More and more kids, because of their pussy “fathers”, won’t have any male guidance in their life, pulling them away from the wrong intentions and pushing them toward those values that all men need to develop. Men teach men not to provide excuses, nor complain, but also what’s truly important in life in the grand scheme, something that our modern society seems to have no clue about.
We teach our kids that money and image are all that matters.
Now, more than ever – and by a long shot – kids want to be famous as a profession. Fame is their goal, not service, nor providing for a family. Our goals are now all about us and the way we reach them has no value to anyone but the man in the mirror.
We teach our boys to be like girls. Fighting is a big no-no. We tell our sons to run and tell a teacher if they’re getting bullied because to stand up for yourself would mean that you’d have to hit another human, and under no circumstances is violence the answer. Well, violence is the answer. It’s always the answer when you’re dealing with a bully and when you’re dealing with an evil that only respects strength. (Read This: 10 Lessons Every Father Should Teach His Son)
My old man grew up in a much simpler time, and it’s a time I’m convinced that molded him into a dad that many in my generation and those before were blessed to have. His old man was the same. As was my great grandfather.
When we try so hard to change a value system, and when we do our utmost to make men and women appear the same, we threaten to rip these fathers from the society that they built.
The lesson is simple.
If you’re a dad, or just a single fella, and you’re looking at celebrities, these whores of fame whom our society has anointed as great, as important, as the most valuable, understand that greatness isn’t shouted, it’s something you show day in and day out, devoid of complaint and praise, in the name of making others lives better.
You may never be rewarded for what you do, but you are great.
And for those who educate our youth, winning does matter because to win you have to work hard. You have to push through pain and remain disciplined.
Losers will always try to explain the victory of others by saying that they had to have cheated.
They’re losers. They can’t comprehend what a real, honest work day feels like, let alone a lifetime of working their ass off. So they award everyone and in the process they remove winners from a society that’s dependent on them to create jobs, build buildings, pave roads, raise cattle and crops and feed an ever-growing population.
And yes, women and men are different. It’s best shown in young boys and young girls. Let boys be boys. Let them fight. Let them get beat up. Let them solve their own problems. Let them get in trouble. They aren’t meant to sit quietly in a classroom all day. They have too much energy and adventure within them to be confined to a desk.
We’ll need them some day soon to once again defend our nations from the evil that sprouts and festers and gains strength thanks in large part to the growing tide of political correctness, the sickness that’s popping up in every corner of our once free society.
Don’t hide from the truth, and don’t be afraid of it.
Speak your mind and teach your sons to speak theirs, but to live their truth and their values more than anything else.
Aspire to be great both with audacity and humility. Follow in the steps of a Theodore Roosevelt or James Cook, but never neglect the greatness sitting at the head of the table, putting food in your mouth and a roof over your head. That’s true greatness. It’s greatness that shapes a nation and lifts a society up. We need these men now more than ever as losers would rather have us limp along in dependence and misery.
Read This: 5 Ways Men Are Becoming Little Bitches
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live. He’s a former 9-5er turned entrepreneur, a former scrawny amateur boxer turned muscular published fitness author. He’ll give you the kick in the ass needed to help you live a big, ambitious life.
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