Analysis by paralysis is a real thing. It’s something that wastes entire lives. It’s an intention without action. It’s indecisiveness. It’s also something that’s completely under your control, you just have to decide to be more decisive.
Being decisive is a superpower. People follow the decisive. They get behind decisive men, action-takers and not just talkers; doers and not just wishers.
Indecision is rampant today.
We think we live in the hardest period in history, and I always say things, I wish I was born a thousand years ago. The truth is, if you can’t make it in today’s society where there’s never been a greater variety of ways to ‘make it’, then you wouldn’t have made it in past times, either. (read: why I don’t trust intellectuals)
That said, it’s far easier to be indecisive today because of the litany of options we’re faced with.
While we’ve never had so much opportunity, we’re also never had so many options.
We have more options for food to buy, for diets to follow, for what to search online, what to watch on TV, how to watch the show we want to watch, how to make the money we want to make, how to solve the problem we’re faced with.
Out of all of these options, there’s usually one best solution, but it’s better to choose a course of action and act than the sit and constantly try to find the best choice to make.
Being indecisive is unattractive
Forget about what it does for you, it’s also unattractive to women. They don’t want to have to make your decisions for you, nor do they want to have to make decisions for the both of you.
Choose something and practice choosing fast.
How to be more decisive
Decisiveness is so bloody important. It gets you moving in a direction when most people choose to tread water, to wade, to remain in the spot they’re in because they’re too afraid to make a decision.
Decisiveness is in part courage, but it’s also intelligence.
To be decisive in the bigger things you have to practice being decisive in the smaller things. Practice making quick decisions and living with the consequences.
Choose what movie to watch immediately.
Choose was foods to eat, where to take your lady for dinner, what to have for dinner, what to wear, what to write, what to read, what to say, and so on.
It’s not rocket science.
You can spend your life being indecisive or you can spend your life being decisive, there shouldn’t be much middle ground.
You’re a man, on top of everything, you’re supposed to lead. How are you going to lead if you can’t make simple decisions, let alone big ones?
The world doesn’t need more indecisive boys running around. We don’t need more people who need others to tell them what to do.
We need leaders and trailblazers, action-takers and, well, MEN!
This might not seem like an important article, it may not seem like the most important topic you’ve ever read about, but if you’ve read this far you likely know that you have to – in some way – be more decisive.
So be more decisive!
For the rest of the day make fast, definite decisions.
Do it again tomorrow, and then the next day.
Lead your life in a direction because any direction is better than no direction at all.
This includes to stop asking advice from me, or anyone you’d deem worthy of giving you advice before you ask and do a couple things which we’ll get into in a bit.
A couple things you need to know:
You know what you have to do. Often times asking advice is a possible excuse from doing what you know you’ve got to do.
Whomever you’re asking for advice can’t know the complete story like you do. Trust yourself, first, then ask for another perspective if necessary, but if you’re always searching for another way you’re never going to own your own path in life, and you’re never going to act with the decisiveness that a flourishing life requires.
Now, this is going to make me sound like a prick, so I have to preface it with examples from my own life.
I used to ask for advice about nearly everything.
Within business I sought the advice of people I thought knew more and would hang on their every suggestion. It never worked because their businesses were so different than my own.
Now, I’ve since hired coaches and its been wonderful, but we’re working on structure, figuring out what works, and not on offers or topics of content because I know what I have to write, in part, because you let me know.
I’d ask pals about a lady I’d be dating, about what the best move was, when to call, what to do, where to take her.
I’d ask for advice about nearly everything, and what I began to see was a fella not living life on his terms but one influenced by others.
So I stopped cold turkey.
True originals are rare. Men who set out on a unique path and act based on who they are and what they want not predicated on a trend or fad or an external influence, be it friend, foe, boss, mentor, or media.
Decisive men are a relic. The joke used to be that men don’t ask for directions, now we ask what we should wear; we look to articles for tips and tactics on how to ‘be’. It’s insane how little we know about ourselves and our truest wants, desires, and dreams.
The purpose of this article isn’t to make men mute. That is, I’m not writing this so we don’t talk to anyone about anything, however, when we constantly hand over decisions in our lives we hand over our lives. To take back your decisions and actions is to reclaim power and purpose, as well as clarity, and where there’s clarity based on your own logic, there’s no need to depend on anyone.
You’re here to walk your own path in life, not the path your folks or society or pals expect you to walk.
Think with more audacity. Act with more decisiveness.
There are two parts to this article and they both fuel one another.
Part I: Why you should stop asking for advice, and how to do it.
Part II: How to use part I to become more decisive.
ADVICE, IS IT REALLY NECESSARY?
It is, but not to the extent to which we use it and ask for it.
Asking for advice is often simply the desire to talk about ourselves, to put ourselves in the centerpiece of a conversation.
It’s also, as discussed earlier, a possible ‘out’ for not doing what we know we have to do.
For example, we know we have to break up with a lady who’s just not right for us, but we ask for advice, hoping someone else will provide us with an alternative. Or we know that in order to live the lives we want to live we have to get rid of our bottom-feeding friends, but we hope that someone else’s advice will excuse us from such a tough decision.
We ask advice about quitting our jobs and starting a business – an incredibly difficult and long road – because we’re hoping someone will excuse us from such a tough task.
Or we’re asking for permission.
Since when does a man need permission?
What advice does is remove decisive action from our lives. We float on the influence of others never taking full action on what we want to pursue, do, and chase.
We don’t do, we ask.
Decisiveness often beats correct action because it’s able to figure out what’s right and wrong faster than someone seeking the approval and influence of others is able to realize.
It starts with awareness. The more aware you are of the habit you want to break the more likely you’re going to be able to identify it when it creeps up and root it out instead of blindly doing the same thing over and over again.
Start with small things, stuff that isn’t that important but you ask for advice with it anyway.
Start acting. Don’t even think, just go with your gut and the first thing that comes to mind.
Do this for a day, then begin to do the same with bigger decisions in your life.
Take more advice from literature. That is, read more and take action on the things the books, authors, philosophers suggest.
We can take the written word and decide whether to use it or not far better than we can take the advice of someone we respect and trust and determine whether it’s worth following or not.