The more I contemplate writing this article, the more nervous I get about how many people are going to hate me for it. But then I realized, worrying about what other men think about my personal opinions to the point where it’s affecting my freedom, is not manly at all.

So as a disclaimer, if you get offended easily, do not read beyond this point.

As of late I have been spending a lot of time reading both past and present articles by a buddy of mine, Chad Howse. You see, Chad is a huge fan of – and highly inspired by – great men of our past. You know, Theodore Roosevelt, Napoleon, Alexander the Great, and a number of other badasses from back in the day.

All men with characteristics like grit, honor, courage, ambition, and other qualities that, ultimately, led to them becoming legendary men.

In fact, it was a recent article by Chad (12 Characteristics of Real Men) that inspired this one. After reading some of the stuff there, I realized how big of pussies we have become.

And it got me thinking…

“Where have all the real men gone?”

I like to think that I was brought up “old school” –  with certain beliefs about how men should behave. You see, my dad was a manly man and he did manly shit. But it was my mother who pointed things out about how to be manly.

Thinking back on it, I can see why she had these opinions of what a real man should be like. But I also realized how much the times are changing.

So what I want to do in this article is point out 17 “Girly Man” Traits That Would Make Your Father Ashamed.

I’ll be the first to admit: there are probably going to be some items on this list that I am guilty of – but sometimes you just have to man up and admit that you’re not perfect.

Now let’s jump in!

1. Soft Handshakes

There aren’t many things I hate more than shaking a man’s limp hand. Not only does it say to me “this guy is an unconfident pussy”, but it must feel emasculating to have another man just crush your hand with a firm confident grip.

In fact, I have my own little study going on. Ok, well maybe it’s more of an observation than an actual study.


Every time I meet someone, I greet them with a firm handshake. 9 times out of 10, they seem soft and frail. However, 10 times out of 10, their handshake grip is a bit more firm the next time we meet.

Why? Simple: they felt emasculated – perhaps to a small degree, but less of a man, nonetheless.

2. Looking down during a conversation

Nothing says “I’m a little bitch” like looking down while another man speaks to you. Or even worse, looking down as you speak back to another man.

I am no psychologist – and I certainly have no background in kinesics – but I think we can all agree that a man who stares at the ground during a conversation isn’t too confident.

This type of behavior is typically found in young, unconfident children, and labeled as “being shy.”

You see, there are two types of men in this world.

1. The Strong Confident Type: they ask how you’re doing and actually care to hear your answer. They’re present in the moment and wouldn’t be caught dead looking at their phone during a conversation.

2. The Little Bitch: these are the unconfident ones whom won’t look at you, they’ll speak softly, and if they’re not interested in the conversation (which they won’t be), they won’t let you know. You’ll simply have to read their body language and realize that they are uncomfortable before disengaging and allowing them to escape what, to them, felt like a hostage situation. (Read This: 5 Ways to Tell You’re a Little Bitch)

3. Gossiping

As men, it’s natural for us to call each other names and make fun of each other’s shirts. It’s normal for us to call each other pussies for not having another drink.

But the moment that we begin to discuss someone in a negative light while that person is not present, it becomes gossip. And gossip is for insecure pussies, not real men.

4. Being Indecisive


Don’t ask your wife/girlfriend where she wants to go to dinner. You are taking her out, it’s your idea, be a fucking man and takethe initiative.

Don’t let a dinner date start off with a conversation that looks like this:

Man: Hey babe, where do you want to go to dinner?

Woman: I don’t care. Wherever you want to go.

Man: I don’t really care either. I’ll eat anything. What are you in the mood for?

Woman: It really doesn’t matter. Whatever you want.

And so on and so forth.

Be a man. Be decisive.

5. Calling women “Bitches”

If I am talking to you and you refer to women as “bitches”, I automatically have zero respect for you and whoever brought you up, period.

6. Going through her phone

10 times out of 10, if you are insecure in your relationship it’s because you are projecting yourself onto your wife or girlfriend. You are not insecure because she is untrustworthy, you’re insecure because you are a scumbag and you think everyone else are scumbags, too.Man on Phone

If you don’t trust a woman for something she has done in the past, you simply move forward with or without her. If you decide to move forward with her, then do just that, move forward. Playing detective and skimming through texts and emails is beta as fuck.

7. Talking your way out of a fight

Look. We are not undomesticated animals that should be acting classless and risking our future because another man stepped on our shoes.

But if there is an altercation (whether your fault or not), stand up for yourself. Be a man and put your fists up. Sometimes you have to beat someone’s ass or remember what it feels like to get punched in the face.

8. Sucker punching

We are men. We get into arguments with other men and a lot of the time it has to become physical.

And if that is the case, be a fucking man and square up face to face, one on one, and resolve the issue.

Sucker punching someone is hands down the most cowardly act a man can perform.

You know who sucker punches people? Little pussies, that’s who.

9. Selfies*

Selfies, not to be confused with swolfies, are beta. There are a very limited number of situations where it is ok for a man to hold up a phone, point it at his own face, and snap a picture.

Unless you are:

  1. Traveling
  2. With your children

Selfies are not ok. There is nothing manly about snapping a picture of yourself to post on social media for everyone to see your new haircut (something I’ve actually done).

10. Arriving late

It’s easy to understand why a woman would show up late. I have a mother, sister, wife, and daughter, so I have an idea of what goes on  when they’re getting ready. Although, it’s important that both males and females be punctual, being a man who is always late is beta.

If you have to say “sorry I am late”, you’re probably a beta male. Real men have respect for their time, but, more importantly, for other people’s time. (Read This: How to Use Your Time Like a Winner)

11. Criticizing 

A real man is ambitious and confident. He’s full of life because he is constantly working on becoming a better version of his self.

At no point in time, ever, will you find an alpha male criticizing or demeaning someone.

People ask me all the time “do you have to have thick skin to deal with the criticism that comes from being a public figure?”

The answer is, no.

You simply need to realize that there will never come a time where someone who is happy with themselves – their life and their accomplishments – puts you down.

Only the weak will attempt to bring you down and demean you. The strong will either ignore you because they are busy working on themselves, or they will help elevate you.

12. Putting your wife/girlfriend down

As a man, your job is to help your wife/girlfriend become the best version of herself. She is the ultimate reflection of you.

The most beta thing a man could do to his woman is put her down and destroy her confidence. These insecure men put their women down because they feel inferior to other men and are afraid of a confident woman.

But if you are constantly making your woman feel unworthy, ugly, or incapable, don’t be surprised when she runs into the arms of a man who does the opposite.

13. Playing on your phone

If you are out to dinner with your friends, family, or girlfriend, put your fucking phone away. There is nothing manly about sitting across from your friends, at a dinner table, texting or scrolling Instagram on your phone.

14. Checking your FB every 5 minutes

You are a man and should have a lot of things on your plate. If you don’t, then you’re probably not working towards something epic.

Logging into Facebook every few minutes to look at motivational quotes, pictures of your friends on their  vacation, and people bitching and complaining about Mondays, is not a great use of your time.

If your life is so boring that you find enjoyment from seeing what everyone else is up to, every 5 minutes, then you may want to reconsider your path.

15. Cheating

Man CheatingNothing says “I am a pussy” like cheating on your significant other. If you are not man enough to be faithful in a relationship, don’t be in one.

Man the fuck up and have some respect for yourself, but, more importantly, for the woman you are lying in bed with each night.

16. Complaining

Oh, you had a bad day?

News flash! Nobody gives a fuck.

Understand this: I don’t care how badly AT&T “raped” you on your phone bill or how backed up traffic was this morning – if you’re a man, you should never complain. Not because life isn’t hard, but because while you’re crying about the coffee your coworker spilled on your new leather shoes, there is some young kid dying of hunger or battling cancer. So fuck you and your ugly shoes.

If you’ve got a problem, solve it. If you can’t solve it, accept it. Never complain.

[Tweet “If you’ve got a problem, solve it. If you can’t solve it, accept it. Never complain.”]

17. Getting offended over this article

Did some of the things I said here offend you?

Well, too bad. Be a man and live by your own rules!

What does this have to do with fitness?

Good question. I really contemplated posting this because it really had nothing to do with fitness. But getting bigger and stronger doesn’t make you alpha. Having the characteristics of a real man, does.

What good is getting strong and jacked if you’re still being a pussy?

Hope you enjoyed it and make sure to share this with your beta friends who need to man up!

About The Author

Alain Gonzalez is a former skinny guy turned jacked fitness pro whose transformation story has been featured in articles on websites all over the internet. He has dedicated his life to helping naturally skinny guys like himself to overcome their genetics and take their physiques to the next level.

Alain Gonzalez
Fitness Author
Certified Personal Trainer
Founder, www.MuscleMonsters.com
Instagram: MuscleMonsters
YouTube: MuscleMonsters



I put Teddy’s leash on. Us being in a land in which I do not live, I didn’t want to take any chances. He could bolt, or worse, he could attack something. So the leash went on and we went off up the hill and into the Californian Redwood Forest.

Not long into the hike we came across a park ranger who presented me with the weirdest news I’ve received in a while: dogs aren’t allowed in American National Forests or Californian State Forests. (Listen to This: Man Up! Podcast – Freedom)

You do know this is outside? I asked. As in, outdoors, as in ‘free space’.

It’s for the safety of the owner and their pet, the ranger said as if they were saving me from something. My response was easy…

I come from Alberta, Canada, where we have grizzlies and black bears and moose and mountain lions and wolves and we’re still allowed to take our dogs anywhere we want.

These are dumb rules. The ‘dog’s not allowed’ are inhibitive rules that prevent freedom and individual liberty. We’re not talking about these rules in this article.

This article is all about freedom, and within rules you’ll find true freedom.

Think of it this way…

If you don’t lay out rules for your own life to govern how you work and get shit done, how you use your time, you won’t have the freedom to buy a house or land or travel because your time will be cluttered and useless.

Rules from a source of strength are good and necessary to live a flourishing life.

Rules coming from a place of fear inhibit freedom and liberty and hand it over to the rule maker.

We’re making this list not from a place of fear, but from a place of strength and wisdom, knowing that in order to live a flourishing life, our focus must be strategic, and our days must be won.

The following rules thus separate them men from the boys. Boys can be dependents. They can look to others for strength, for handouts, to make rules that protect them. Men have always had to protect, provide, and procreate.

The 7 Rules That Separate Men from Males

Ancient Greek warrior fighting in the combat

1. Dare mightily.

In defining what it is to be a man and not just a male, a higher standard has to be formed. A man has a certain set of values that are born over thousands of years of fitting into a role, one of protector, defender, and explorer.

Men mapped North America. Men conquered the west and they also defended it, fought to keep it. Men defeated Hitler. Men fought for the South, and the North.

Males, today at least, are afraid of strength, they’re vain, they’re afraid of commitment, of leadership, of responsibility. To be the antithesis of the modern norm is to be a man, and men dare mightily.

Every man I’ve come across, be it my old man or his best pal or the good buddies I’m blessed to have all see life as a gift. They see the sacrifices others made to get them where they are, be it those brave souls who defeated Hitler whom they may or may not know, or their folks, their grandparents, and their ancestors. They see life as a gift from their Maker. To waste the gift living a life of mediocrity, never pushing its boundaries, never taking steps in the direction of their fears, is to discard the sacrifices made in their benefit.

You can live a mediocre life. Actually you can’t. You can exist in mediocrity, but to live you’re going to have to think a little bigger, and do those things that scare you.

2. Do one thing at a time.

There aren’t secrets to success, but there are simple things you can add to your day, your routine, your process that will help you achieve more, no matter what it is that you do. (Read This: 9 Lessons in Business and Life Learned Over the Last 3 Months)

A singular focus is one of them.

The formula goes as follows:

Figure out the most important thing you need to be focusing on in a given moment, and focus on nothing else.

This thing can be something within your work, your family life, or where you are in a given moment. When you’re with your kids, be with your kids. When you’re working, work on the most important task first and only that task. Shut off your phone, the internet, the TV, or anything else that will bring you out of this moment.

This isn’t ground-breaking stuff, but having this as a rule, something you don’t break, will make you a much better man.

The more you compartmentalise, the better. The more you leave where you’ve been and be where you are the more you’re going to get out of where you are, and more importantly, the more you’re going to give to where you are and who you’re with and what you’re doing.

3. Get stronger, not fatter.

Improve. Simply put, improve in every area of your life, every day. High school reunions are great little events usually filled with fatter faces and bigger belly’s.

The excuse of responsibilities, family, duties, usually precedes the explanation as to why people have gotten so fat. But that makes little sense.

If you have others depending on you, is it not your duty to be in better physical shape when you were just taking care of yourself?

Time, that wonderful excuse that also makes no sense. Can you not get up earlier?

Of course you can.

As a rule, get stronger, not fatter.

Spend your years thinking of ways to get in better shape, to get stronger, healthier, better at being a man. This cannot mean don’t enjoy life. Beer and whiskey and fine foods should be a part of your life, always. A life without a cold beer at the end of a long work week isn’t much of a life.

With that said, stay active. Get into hiking or hunting. Switch up your training. Join a boxing gym. Learn how to fight.

Don’t slip into the fat existence that everyone seems to adopt as they age

This should be a rule. Not an opinion.

4. Be elite.

Our idea of what we are and who we can be is set at a young age. We either think we’re leaders or followers, elite or mediocre. You have to change your view of what you can be immediately.

To be anything less than elite in every aspect of life is a waste. Why the fuck would anyone want to be okay?

If you do something, become great at it.

Don’t be in average shape, get in great shape. Don’t set safe goals, dare mightily, live audaciously. Stop being mediocre.

You can take this pursuit into every corner of your life and use your own definitions within it. It shouldn’t, however, merely be an intention, but a rule.

Be elite.

Put the effort in required to be elite. Have the discipline to say no to what will hold you back and yes to what will push you forward. Remove humans from your life that bring you down and bring more people in your life that are after a similar pursuit, even if it’s in a different field.

But don’t be average. Don’t be content with being average. And average isn’t in comparison to others, but in relation to who you are now and where your potential lies somewhere in the far off future.

5. Be able to be a protector.

5,000 years ago you’d have been born to protect. Yes, provide and procreate, but most importantly to protect. If you can’t protect, then who are you going to provide for and who are you going to procreate with?

This highlights the stark difference between a male and a man. A male can be confused about his gender. A male can be adamantly against defined gender roles. A male can be consumed with his looks and oblivious to his purpose.

A male can be a pussy. A man can’t.

A man will call 9-1-1, but he won’t depend on someone who’s 15 minutes away for his protection. This role may never even be enacted, but you have to have the capacity to carry it through if the situation ever presents itself.

So, learn how to use a gun. Learn how to fight. Lift weights and get strong. Join a boxing gym and see what it’s like to punch someone in the face and to get punched in the face.

Part of your purpose is to be of some value to others, and as a man this means you’re at least able to protect those under your care.

6. Thrive in the darkness.

When we’re in them they seem like they’re infinite. We see nothing but what we’re in, the failure, the despair, the loss, the poverty, and yet we’re not actually in the darkness.

Years later when we’ve climbed our way out of it, if we’re perceptive enough, we’ll realize that these times of loss, failure, or despair were actually great, filled with opportunity, blanketed with life lessons that, if we’d been in it rather than wishing we were out of it, we would have learned a lot more and at a quicker pace.

When darkness enters our lives we immediately wish we weren’t it in, we look for things to momentarily bring us out of it, maybe a purchase or a trip, which brings up an interesting point. (Read This: It Would Be a Tragedy to Never Face Adversity)

Religion is more prevalent among the poor than the affluent. The lazy reasoning is education. The explanation goes that because there’s a greater educated populace, fewer believe in things like religion. Ask anyone who hikes or hunts and really gets out there, though, and they’ll admit there’s something. Get out of the liberal dominated world of colleges and into the real world and you’ll find the same.

Go into poor towns in poorer parts of the world where they can’t book a trip or bar a trinket to momentarily escape whatever darkness they’re in and you’ll find a greater sense of faith.

I’m not pushing religion but merely urging people to be in it rather than avoiding it. That is, be in life, with all of its highs and lows and without seeking a band-aide for relief.

Deal with the shit that enters your life like a man, head on.

Within every ounce of suffering there’s meaning and it’s up to the individual to figure out what that meaning is. No one can do this for you and you should want them to try. This is your life, your journey, and your struggle. Find the meaning in your suffering.

7. Don’t be a little bitch.

Never complain.

Most casual conversations seem to begin with a complaint.

Oh, this weather.

My boss is an ass.

Work has been a bitch.

Don’t envy. Don’t complain. And don’t whine.

Think about the men in your life who you look up to and respect. Think of your old man, your grandfather, maybe a teacher or a priest or a guide you knew or know.

They couldn’t have been whiners.

So why are you whining?

A man has to be a problem solver, not a problem identifier or creator. You’re the guy others rely on to bear the brunt of their burdens, no one wants to hear about your own. So shut up and carry on!

This rule should be a necessity for everyone, not just men, but why can’t you lead the way?

Why can’t you search for the good rather than doing all you can to find the bad?

Man up. Stop being a little bitch.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live. He’ll give you the kick in the ass needed to help you live a big, ambitious life.
You can contact him at –

You Can’t Be Called a Man Unless You Have…

You Can’t Be Called a Man Unless You Have…

A man must stand erect, not be kept erect by others. ~Marcus Aurelius

I remember being a kid no more than 4 years old watching my dad play hockey at a rink close to the townhouse I grew up in. I don’t remember a thing about the game, just images of a bent nose with blood spurting out of it. (Read This: 10 Lessons Every Father Should Teach His Son)

My old man had taken a puck in the face. His nose was busted up, bleeding everywhere, and I think I was sad because of it – worried about my pop at the very least. No one likes to see their parents in pain. But he didn’t show pain. The damage was grotesque, but there were no effects, not tears, no winces on his face and I know why: me.

Here was this little boy watching his old man play hockey but what he remembered wasn’t skill or talent, but how he dealt with pain. My dad didn’t not show pain because of bravado, but because his son was watching. Whether he knew it or not he wanted to show me that how we react to pain, hardship, even failure, is what matters, and not the thing that knocks us down or the event that derails us.

So, he came over behind the bench and talked to me while blood oozed out of his nose. Then he taped it up, stuck some toilet paper up his nostrils, and went back out on the ice.

Being a man is simple.

You know you’re a leader, so you lead by example. You know that complaining is useless, so you don’t do it. You know your values so you live by them always, it doesn’t matter if they make your life easier or more difficult.

You know that there are people watching you, emulating you, so you act accordingly. You don’t let fear stop you from living. You work hard ever day you’re alive because to do otherwise would be a waste.

No matter what our ever changing, even degrading culture will have you believe, being a man is not something you are, it’s something you earn.

We all know men. And we all know males. Males have the plumbing and the hormones but there are attributes missing that prevent us from seeing them as real men. And sometimes in defining something it helps to identify what it isn’t just as much as what it is.

And a male can’t become a man without honor.


I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have. ~Abraham Lincoln

We’ve become a culture that compromises. I suppose we’ve always compromised, but today it seems that we don’t have the moral backbone that once led men to see their duty as fathers as an obligation rather than an option.

Fatherhood is only a single example. Work is another. With 3 million jobs in the labor force that need to be filled in the US alone, men who simply want to work are no longer the norm. We now have men who want to find themselves, to live their passion, to find the perfect job when any job will be the means to put food in your family’s belly and security at their doors. (Read This: Follow Your Passion If You Want to Be Broke and Useless)

Honor dictates that you are your values no matter the outcome or the situation or the time in history in which you live. And our values have been consistent for centuries.

You may not be bound to win, but you’re bound to try to win and to do it with honor. You may not be bound to succeed, but you are bound to do your best each and every day you’re alive.

Males aren’t bound by honor, they’re victims to their desires.

Men know that their desires may not be in their best interest. They also have the strength to avoid the desires that bring them off their path. Males don’t have this compass nor this fortitude.

They work when they want to work. They sleep when they want to sleep. They cheat and lie when it serves them to, they whine and cry when things become too difficult. The way out of the struggle is their first option taken.

Be a man. Have honor in your daily dealings. Work hard and work true. Do the right thing, always, even if the right thing isn’t the easy thing.


No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is never permitted to prove himself. ~ Seneca

Males quit. Men endure and persevere.

These aren’t condemnations coming from a guy who embodies every virtue all the time. These are, however, things that the vast majority of level-headed humans in our society could agree upon that set boys from men or males from manhood, and yes, there is a separation.

Males quit. Or at least they have that option. Males aren’t tied to a code, not one of honor or courage or something beyond themselves, so they can do what’s easiest.

Grit entails that you do what must be done, which includes anything and everything, from budgeting, saving your money rather than spending it frivolously on things you do not need, to sucking it up and get a job that may hurt your pride or your ideal of what you’re worth in order to put food in mouths.

Grit is the stuff of men because it’s men who are asked to protect and defend. That is, it’s men who are asked to stand and fight if only to give those he protects enough time to flee. That’s a tenant of manhood, being able to both have the grit and courage to stand and take a beating, but also the gameness and the skill to inflict pain and even win.

The male doesn’t have this call to action or honor. The boy doesn’t have to make decisions that effect more than just him.

Grit is getting dirty. The generation that bore the selfie, that deems fame as one of their most important pursuits, that creates means of communicating merely through pictures taken of themselves to show the world what it is they do on a daily basis, is not abundantly gritty. They are consumed by vanity and entitlement, but getting down and dirty and doing what’s necessary isn’t something that they seem to be afflicted with.

As grit becomes optional, when we no longer need to work the land, harvest the crops, herd the animals or butcher those same critters, and as those things we once had to brave – the weather, the elements, nature, the hunt – become relics, grit and gameness and courage and toughness become things of men past, devoid in boys present.

Grit is toughness everyday. It’s found in hard men, not sissies. We each have the capacity to become gritty, but the more we endure the more we’re able to develop it if we don’t quit and wilt under the pressure that life thrusts upon us at what always seems to be the worst moment.

The path to grit is the path through adversity. Which makes things a little tougher because no one wants to incur adversity, yet that’s exactly what real men do and great men pursue. (Read This: It Would Be a Tragedy to Never Face Adversity)

Males rest on their laurels. They take it easy when things are good. Men, however, understand that growth cannot come in ease, so they push themselves even when they don’t have to. This is why the gritty are those you want on your side. They’re with you through thick and thin. Fighting. Hustling. Never complaining or whining or wishing things weren’t so.

Grit is a warrior quality. It’s a part of who men are supposed to be but it’s been lost in what we’ve become, or some of us have become.

When I was a kid we were taught to fight back against bullies. Our complaints usually fell on deaf ears. If I wanted something I had to start working, which is why I had a paper route before the legal age as my parents pretended it was their route then sent me out to deliver papers and collect paychecks so I could buy hockey gear.

Before my time, and it still happens all over the world, kids have to do their chores on the farm. They have to pull their weight – or what’s the point of having kids?

Grit was trained. Now entitlement is force-fed into willing mouths who’d rather receive than earn.

Don’t simply wait for grit to be developed, but make your life just a little bit harder by making your goals a lot bigger. When you stretch what you’re aiming to accomplish, you force yourself to become the man worthy of said rewards.

Be that man.


Jack Donovan talks about this in his book, The Way of Men, but grit and gameness is of little use without skill. That is, a man stands and fights, but he also wins.

Skill can be the difference between your family getting away or being captured. Skill gives you a leg up on your competition. This, of course, is only talking about fighting, but every man must have skill because it’s skill that enables you to be self-reliant and thus, not dependent.

Males can be dependent. They can because of their lack of pride, self-worth, courage, grit, persistence, and desire to achieve in life. A male can afford to feel as though there’s no point in trying. A man simply does what he must do, and acquiring the skills that enable him to thrive in life and in his role as a man are a part of that equation.

What holds people back from getting the work they want isn’t talent, but skill, and as someone who dropped out of college because I thought it was useless and then started my real education at the bottom of the business world, the skills you need to thrive in business don’t require an expensive education. The skills you need to be reliant only on thyself don’t cost money. To learn you have to serve, you have to apprentice. It’s the best way to acquire skills yet males just aren’t into that.

They want without merit. They want to get paid before they earn the right to do so.

Thus, men have skills, males don’t need them.

There’s more to the acquiring of skills, however, than being a man. We get lost in the end result as humans. Our eyes are always focused on the prize and we forget to acknowledge the dependence of acquiring the prize on our current actions.


Practice daily. Forget about the goal for a moment and practice perfecting your craft. If you’re a writer, get in the habit of writing 5,000 words a day and reading 37 pages a day.

If you’re an athlete, well, you know what you have to do. If you’re a business man, practice the art of selling and do all you can to learn from the best in your industry, then get better than them.

Focus on becoming great at whatever you do by taking a practiser’s attitude and forget about the rewards, focus on the skill.


Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. ~  C.S. Lewis

A man needs both pride and humility.

It’s humility that allows you to serve, to learn, and to carry those who needs your assistance. Pride helps you to live up to the standard of the man you’re trying to become.

False pride is everywhere. Vanity is woven into the fabric of a culture who actually takes pictures of themselves to show others what they’re doing (and I’m obviously guilty of this as well). It’s so weird. But too many of us care more about the opinions of others than who we are in our souls.

Humility is acknowledging that everyone you come in contact with has something to teach you. Arrogance is its enemy, as is entitlement as both make learning impossible, and where you’re unable to learn you’re unable to grow and evolve into the fella you should already be.

You meet boys and males who are vain. You don’t meet men with that same characteristic. It isn’t in their make up.

When was the last time you saw a real man or someone you’d consider old school standing in front of a mirror making sure each hair was in place?

It doesn’t happen. Yet, go to any gym where young fellas frequent and you’ll see more time spent in front of that mirror than actually lifting weights and getting stronger.


Being a man is simple. It’s even simpler in today’s society because you just have to look at what the masses are doing and do the opposite.

And yes, you should want to be a man for fuck’s sake!

Take pride in what that means fellas. Take pride in the fact that you’re a natural protector and warrior. Take pride in the fact that people will depend on you when they have nowhere else to turn. Take pride in the fact that you’re a leader, and lead!

But that’s the thing…

It ain’t easy. It ain’t easy becoming tougher, grittier, and better. But that’s life. Life is not easy. It is simple. But it is not easy. That’s why so many people suck. They depend. They whine and cry and never realize that it’s their reaction to the event that they have control over and it’s a control that they never use. So they remain victims to live rather than authors of their own story.

It’s your choice which you are, the victim or the author, the man or the male. Make the tough decision and man up.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live. He’s a former 9-5er turned entrepreneur, a former scrawny amateur boxer turned muscular published fitness author. He’ll give you the kick in the ass needed to help you live a big, ambitious life.
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