The more I contemplate writing this article, the more nervous I get about how many people are going to hate me for it. But then I realized, worrying about what other men think about my personal opinions to the point where it’s affecting my freedom, is not manly at all.
So as a disclaimer, if you get offended easily, do not read beyond this point.
As of late I have been spending a lot of time reading both past and present articles by a buddy of mine, Chad Howse. You see, Chad is a huge fan of – and highly inspired by – great men of our past. You know, Theodore Roosevelt, Napoleon, Alexander the Great, and a number of other badasses from back in the day.
All men with characteristics like grit, honor, courage, ambition, and other qualities that, ultimately, led to them becoming legendary men.
In fact, it was a recent article by Chad (12 Characteristics of Real Men) that inspired this one. After reading some of the stuff there, I realized how big of pussies we have become.
And it got me thinking…
“Where have all the real men gone?”
I like to think that I was brought up “old school” – with certain beliefs about how men should behave. You see, my dad was a manly man and he did manly shit. But it was my mother who pointed things out about how to be manly.
Thinking back on it, I can see why she had these opinions of what a real man should be like. But I also realized how much the times are changing.
So what I want to do in this article is point out 17 “Girly Man” Traits That Would Make Your Father Ashamed.
I’ll be the first to admit: there are probably going to be some items on this list that I am guilty of – but sometimes you just have to man up and admit that you’re not perfect.
Now let’s jump in!
1. Soft Handshakes
There aren’t many things I hate more than shaking a man’s limp hand. Not only does it say to me “this guy is an unconfident pussy”, but it must feel emasculating to have another man just crush your hand with a firm confident grip.
In fact, I have my own little study going on. Ok, well maybe it’s more of an observation than an actual study.
Anyway…
Every time I meet someone, I greet them with a firm handshake. 9 times out of 10, they seem soft and frail. However, 10 times out of 10, their handshake grip is a bit more firm the next time we meet.
Why? Simple: they felt emasculated – perhaps to a small degree, but less of a man, nonetheless.
2. Looking down during a conversation
Nothing says “I’m a little bitch” like looking down while another man speaks to you. Or even worse, looking down as you speak back to another man.
I am no psychologist – and I certainly have no background in kinesics – but I think we can all agree that a man who stares at the ground during a conversation isn’t too confident.
This type of behavior is typically found in young, unconfident children, and labeled as “being shy.”
You see, there are two types of men in this world.
1. The Strong Confident Type: they ask how you’re doing and actually care to hear your answer. They’re present in the moment and wouldn’t be caught dead looking at their phone during a conversation.
2. The Little Bitch: these are the unconfident ones whom won’t look at you, they’ll speak softly, and if they’re not interested in the conversation (which they won’t be), they won’t let you know. You’ll simply have to read their body language and realize that they are uncomfortable before disengaging and allowing them to escape what, to them, felt like a hostage situation. (Read This: 5 Ways to Tell You’re a Little Bitch)
3. Gossiping
As men, it’s natural for us to call each other names and make fun of each other’s shirts. It’s normal for us to call each other pussies for not having another drink.
But the moment that we begin to discuss someone in a negative light while that person is not present, it becomes gossip. And gossip is for insecure pussies, not real men.
4. Being Indecisive
Fellas!
Don’t ask your wife/girlfriend where she wants to go to dinner. You are taking her out, it’s your idea, be a fucking man and takethe initiative.
Don’t let a dinner date start off with a conversation that looks like this:
Man: Hey babe, where do you want to go to dinner?
Woman: I don’t care. Wherever you want to go.
Man: I don’t really care either. I’ll eat anything. What are you in the mood for?
Woman: It really doesn’t matter. Whatever you want.
And so on and so forth.
Be a man. Be decisive.
5. Calling women “Bitches”
If I am talking to you and you refer to women as “bitches”, I automatically have zero respect for you and whoever brought you up, period.
6. Going through her phone
10 times out of 10, if you are insecure in your relationship it’s because you are projecting yourself onto your wife or girlfriend. You are not insecure because she is untrustworthy, you’re insecure because you are a scumbag and you think everyone else are scumbags, too.
If you don’t trust a woman for something she has done in the past, you simply move forward with or without her. If you decide to move forward with her, then do just that, move forward. Playing detective and skimming through texts and emails is beta as fuck.
7. Talking your way out of a fight
Look. We are not undomesticated animals that should be acting classless and risking our future because another man stepped on our shoes.
But if there is an altercation (whether your fault or not), stand up for yourself. Be a man and put your fists up. Sometimes you have to beat someone’s ass or remember what it feels like to get punched in the face.
8. Sucker punching
We are men. We get into arguments with other men and a lot of the time it has to become physical.
And if that is the case, be a fucking man and square up face to face, one on one, and resolve the issue.
Sucker punching someone is hands down the most cowardly act a man can perform.
You know who sucker punches people? Little pussies, that’s who.
9. Selfies*
Selfies, not to be confused with swolfies, are beta. There are a very limited number of situations where it is ok for a man to hold up a phone, point it at his own face, and snap a picture.
Unless you are:
- Traveling
- With your children
Selfies are not ok. There is nothing manly about snapping a picture of yourself to post on social media for everyone to see your new haircut (something I’ve actually done).
10. Arriving late
It’s easy to understand why a woman would show up late. I have a mother, sister, wife, and daughter, so I have an idea of what goes on when they’re getting ready. Although, it’s important that both males and females be punctual, being a man who is always late is beta.
If you have to say “sorry I am late”, you’re probably a beta male. Real men have respect for their time, but, more importantly, for other people’s time. (Read This: How to Use Your Time Like a Winner)
11. Criticizing
A real man is ambitious and confident. He’s full of life because he is constantly working on becoming a better version of his self.
At no point in time, ever, will you find an alpha male criticizing or demeaning someone.
People ask me all the time “do you have to have thick skin to deal with the criticism that comes from being a public figure?”
The answer is, no.
You simply need to realize that there will never come a time where someone who is happy with themselves – their life and their accomplishments – puts you down.
Only the weak will attempt to bring you down and demean you. The strong will either ignore you because they are busy working on themselves, or they will help elevate you.
12. Putting your wife/girlfriend down
As a man, your job is to help your wife/girlfriend become the best version of herself. She is the ultimate reflection of you.
The most beta thing a man could do to his woman is put her down and destroy her confidence. These insecure men put their women down because they feel inferior to other men and are afraid of a confident woman.
But if you are constantly making your woman feel unworthy, ugly, or incapable, don’t be surprised when she runs into the arms of a man who does the opposite.
13. Playing on your phone
If you are out to dinner with your friends, family, or girlfriend, put your fucking phone away. There is nothing manly about sitting across from your friends, at a dinner table, texting or scrolling Instagram on your phone.
14. Checking your FB every 5 minutes
You are a man and should have a lot of things on your plate. If you don’t, then you’re probably not working towards something epic.
Logging into Facebook every few minutes to look at motivational quotes, pictures of your friends on their vacation, and people bitching and complaining about Mondays, is not a great use of your time.
If your life is so boring that you find enjoyment from seeing what everyone else is up to, every 5 minutes, then you may want to reconsider your path.
15. Cheating
Nothing says “I am a pussy” like cheating on your significant other. If you are not man enough to be faithful in a relationship, don’t be in one.
Man the fuck up and have some respect for yourself, but, more importantly, for the woman you are lying in bed with each night.
16. Complaining
Oh, you had a bad day?
News flash! Nobody gives a fuck.
Understand this: I don’t care how badly AT&T “raped” you on your phone bill or how backed up traffic was this morning – if you’re a man, you should never complain. Not because life isn’t hard, but because while you’re crying about the coffee your coworker spilled on your new leather shoes, there is some young kid dying of hunger or battling cancer. So fuck you and your ugly shoes.
If you’ve got a problem, solve it. If you can’t solve it, accept it. Never complain.
[Tweet “If you’ve got a problem, solve it. If you can’t solve it, accept it. Never complain.”]
17. Getting offended over this article
Did some of the things I said here offend you?
Well, too bad. Be a man and live by your own rules!
What does this have to do with fitness?
Good question. I really contemplated posting this because it really had nothing to do with fitness. But getting bigger and stronger doesn’t make you alpha. Having the characteristics of a real man, does.
What good is getting strong and jacked if you’re still being a pussy?
Hope you enjoyed it and make sure to share this with your beta friends who need to man up!
About The Author
Alain Gonzalez is a former skinny guy turned jacked fitness pro whose transformation story has been featured in articles on websites all over the internet. He has dedicated his life to helping naturally skinny guys like himself to overcome their genetics and take their physiques to the next level.
Alain Gonzalez
Fitness Author
Certified Personal Trainer
Founder, www.MuscleMonsters.com
Instagram: MuscleMonsters
YouTube: MuscleMonsters
I am guilty of one thing from this list..
Hey man, nice thoughts on most of the topics I can see your point of view. Anyway why do you view that there is some difference between selfies and “swolfies”?
For you as a personal trainer it is reasonable, you want to show off the physique normal people can aspire to have, but what about non-personal-trainer-folks? Can you think of any other way how to present yourself otherway than this as a fitness trainer? (just curious)
For me it is essentially the same if you are posting it somewhere for people to see. To me it still comunicates certain need of approval from others. To be frank, I am pretty sure that I have heaps of these kind of photos, but purely for comparison/tracking improvement reasons, posting nowhere.
Really apreciating this kind of posts, keep up the remindal!
I think the author brought up many good points in this article.
One thing: a real man does not need to resort to vulgarity to get his points across. I mention this because he felt the need to use the “f” word several times.
Either his parents use it at home as well, or he has a severe lack of vocabulary.
To quote him: “I automatically have zero respect for him and whoever brought him up, period.” : )
I use it. Not something I shy away from at all. Could work on not using it but it’s trivial in my mind. I don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, everything else is good in my books.
Great article Alain ! I think it is good to have positive critisism sometimes so you can see areas you can improve on. This article opened my eyes to a few things I need to focus on.
#11 Theres a difference between complaining and talking to someone and simply mentioning oh the traffic was shit this morning, thats not complaining, complaining would be oh traffic sucked it took me forever to get to work this morning.
Two points; a swolfie is, besides being one of the stupidest made up words in the history of language, nothing but vanity, the same as a selfie, just more vain, which suggests the author wants to bitch about selfies while simultaneously giving himself an excuse for taking them; and while I agree with the being indecisive point, a dinner date is a bad example. Ever taken a woman to dinner? Not all, but some women are an exercise in “let’s guess what food she wants, because she sure as shit isn’t going to tell you, but she will tell you what she’s NOT in the mood for.”