We’ve always needed to know what it means to be a man. Teaching this is nothing new. The problem with our current society is that we don’t have teaching manhood programmed into how we teach everything else.
In Roman times, boys ran the streets wearing dirty clothes and had to fend for themselves. They would engage in battles, the classroom, too, was combative, they had to defend their point against a crowd, not merely in their own head or onto a piece of paper.
We’ve always taught young men what it means to be a man, but today, with fathers not sticking around, with a school system that increasingly looks down upon masculine qualities and virtues, our young men, our boys, even our middle-aged men, are now left to figure things out for themselves. Sad! (read: A Man’s Guide to Finding Freedom)
Who suffers? Everyone! The economy, women, kids, everyone. So, within this article we’ll discuss with it means to be a man, but also how to be a man. You won’t leave here with mere theory, but with steps by which you can take action.
Where We’ve Gone Wrong
Moral virtue doesn’t exist in you being harmless. The modern ideal being pushed for men is to be softer, to call yourself a feminist. You are not morally superior because you are more harmless, you are useless.
You are not perfect. You can be better than you are. This is an issue, telling kids and humans that they’re perfect just the way they are. We all have potential, but that potential is realized by improving and working hard.
What comes naturally isn’t what’s best. Easy things ‘come naturally’, the good things in life require effort.
Being a man is the ideal, it’s a pursuit. It’s not a bad thing, but a call that every male must heed. This idea of a patriarchy doesn’t exist. Men and women have worked together throughout history, never in opposition. Good men who do great things benefit everyone. Weak men who are soft, hurt those around them.
What It Means to Be a Man
Fundamentally, you cannot be useless. A useless man is weak, doesn’t earn and provide, is soft, complains, sees himself as a victim. How can you not be useless? Follow the following steps as if it were a checklist.
1. Be Dangerous.
That is, learn how to protect, to defend, to conquer. At our base, men are protectors. We’re defenders. Good men need to be more dangerous than bad men, or else we’re in trouble. You’re also responsible for others, and therefore useless if you cannot defend them. Learn to fight. Get good with guns. It’s not a choice, it’s a duty.
2. Earn, succeed, win.
Get good at something. That’s how you win. Winning isn’t a matter of getting something for nothing, but achievement. Achievement takes effort, persistence, and purposeful practice. To add to our fundamental need to be protectors, men must also be providers. If you want to know what it means to be a man, look no further than the head of a household.
Get good at something. Earn as much as you can for those who depend on you. (read: the Best a Man Can Be)
3. Improve, evolve.
Practice daily improvement. Have an actual routine set up to help you do this. Don’t leave it to chance. Every morning I’m up between 5am and 530am. I read for 45 minutes, head to the gym for 45 minutes, then sit down to work. At the end of the day I’m back reading/studying.
Without these habits in place, I don’t do what I set out to do. It’s a duty to end your life in a better position than where you started it. Be ambitious, be daring. Your ambitions are insights into why you’re here, listen to them, add fuel to them, and hunt them down. (read: 15 Signs You’re an Alpha Male)
4. Aim high.
Again, be ambitious. One aspect of manhood is competition. We need it. We actually see increases in our testosterone levels when we compete, and again when we win. It acts like a reward system, rewarding our participation in life.
Life is a competition. Too many men degrade what they aim at because they believe they are what they’ve done to this point. If you want to know what it means to be a man, it means pursuing something, moving forward in a focused direction.
Men cannot wander.
5. Finally, accept MORE responsibility, not less.
Bring more onto your shoulders, don’t avoid the work, the responsibility, the difficult aspects of life. That’s why you’re here, to bear burdens that others can’t bear. That’s your ‘cross’, and one that should be carried with pride and honor, not with complaint.
Men cannot complain, it’s not our nature, it’s not something we should have in our minds or within us. Define your job, and do it well.
What it Means to Be a Man
Women are born women. Men must become men. We need to be useful, and usefulness comes from developing skills.
You need skills like strength, being able to fight or developing a martial art, to be able to protect. You need to develop skills to be able to earn. Thus, if you want to know what it means to be a man, you can confine it to something so simple as being as useful as you possibly can be. The more dangerous, successful, ambitious, driven, disciplined you are, the more useful you are, and you will know what it means to be a man.
I’m working my way through Tim Grover’s, Relentless, right now.
Tim is Michael Jordan’s strength coach, and Kobe Bryant’s. He’s spent a lot of time around guys who are killers, winners on another level, they’re beyond competitive.
It’s a great book, one that dives into the darkness of victory, the instinct of it.
Instinct is something many of us have lost. We were born with instincts. I remember being a kid, wanting to beat anyone and everyone at anything.
I’d fight all the time. I loved it. Slowly, however, we all confuse being good with being nice. We see this desire to kill, to do
minate, to hunt, as bad, and we soften it, let it go in an attempt to civilize.
You cannot ever become fully civilized if you want victory. Something within you has to remain true to those instincts and sometimes advice can cloud that inner voice, that ‘gut feeling’ that a man should always listen to first.
While I’m a guy who gives advice, who shows guys how to eat, train and become more disciplined, the advice is something you have to watch out for. Too much of it can lead you to live someone else’s life and lose those instincts that we all need to thrive.
So take advice from people who actually have your best interests in mind, but don’t take advice from everyone. Don’t seek advice from everyone either.
Years ago I stopped seeking so much damn advice and started doing my thing, whether it was business or life, and it’s helped me live life on my terms and build a business on my terms.
Listen, who do we admire, the man in a crowd, one of many, or the original, the man who stands on his own, who leads, who goes his own way?
We’re a tribe here, but no man can lose his ability to listen to his gut, to thrive off instinct rather than advice.
My dog, Teddy, doesn’t for a second think about chasing a deer, he just does it, and it’s nearly impossible to hold him back.
A lion doesn’t think about killing, that’s just what lions do.
Men should spend less time thinking about doing what they know deep down they need to do, and just do it.
When you have a decision to make, make it, follow the first thing that came to your mind and deal with the consequences later.
If you’re wrong, pivot, and fix the mistake, but stop living the safe life, the life led by the advice of others, where the tough decisions of your life can be pawned off on someone else so that, in part, they can share the blame if it’s the wrong decision.
Trust your gut.
It takes confidence to trust your gut. And if you don’t have confidence, and you want to develop it, start there.
Start by making fast and firm decisions, then follow through on them.
Be the lion, do as lions do. React, forget if everything is perfect. Forget about thinking about every scenario and outcome.
In 1911, three men set out on the adventure of a lifetime. They wanted to trek the unknown territory of Antarctica and link it with other known portions of the desolate continent.
The three men were ages 33, 30, and 29 respectively. They were ambitious, strong, courageous, and unwaveringly committed in their endeavor, so much so that two of them died along the way and one barely made it out alive. He was all alone on the ice.
This is a far cry from the 30 year olds that walk in our midst today.
Instead, they have traded their ambition for something far less virtuous.
Men have become soft, emasculated, and lazy.
This is due in part to real men having become reclusive and passive, and our culture becoming impervious to masculinity.
Look around and you will see that men are more concerned about the pants that they wear and the way their hair looks than how to make ambitious goals, and pursue their dreams. They have become afraid of their own shadow and doomed themselves to a life of mediocrity.
Chances are, that if you are reading this, then you go against the status quo, that you as a man have found yourself on the other side of society. You have been called “rough around the edges” or “insensitive”.
Take this as a compliment
Unfortunately, our culture has deemed men who are passive, and relinquish their manhood virtuous, and esteemed.
What men really need is self-awareness, mastery, and other men to learn from.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” – Proverbs 27:17
Men need to pursue mastery and be in constant pursuit of huge ambitious goals. They must constantly challenge themselves and push themselves to learn new skills and to grow in strength, endurance and mindset.
These things can only be developed if they are done with discipline and consistency.
The Lost Virtues of a Man
Men need to have some sort of consistent physical activity that they do, whether it’s lifting weights, martial arts, running, swimming, biking or a combination of all of them.
When men don’t do this, they get fat, injured, or have health issues. Don’t believe me, look around.
They also need to have a why, a reason for existing. They need to know their why, so that they can work in their Strengths and become who they are made to be.
Socrates said it best: “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
If you are not pushing your limits or putting your body under deliberate physical stress every day, you are denying your very essence.
Men need to know what they are capable of. When you lift weights, move heavy objects, destroy your goals and win, then you become confident and more alpha minded.
Lifting weights just to lift weights is not enough. You have to train. Life is going to come at you from all angles and you need to be prepared to handle whatever it throws at you. The more you exercise your body and your mind and put it under good, deliberate stress, the easier the problems will seem.
Learn how to do heavy Lifts like the Deadlift, Squat, and Olympic Lifts. Get a trainer, or go to a fundamentals class to learn these lifts. Proper form is key.
Men don’t play the victim. They take ownership.
Your mind will tell you that you can’t do something. You have to be able to tell it to shut up.
You have to build your mind by repeating positive habits. There are two very important ways that this can be done.
Lift Weights and Exercise: Lifting weights boosts testosterone, builds confidence, and leaves you with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction long after the workout. I quote Jocko Willink “If you want to improve mental toughness, try this: BE TOUGHER“
Read Good Books: You have to read books that set your dreams on fire, and grow your library of manly books .If the only time a man is getting information is from Social media, Netflix or the TV, then he must just like being useless. Every great man in history was a reader, Marcus Aurelius, Themistocles, Teddy Roosevelt, Solomon, and many more.
I’m not talking about hippie yoga crap. I’m talking about shutting up and listening to what is going on around you. Take five minutes every day to sit, breathe deeply and remain quiet. Focus on who you want to be, and your ideal day. Then go out and do your best to be that man.
Do these things every single day.
Men need a battle to fight, and a challenge to face
John Eldredge in his book “Wild at Heart”, said that men need three things.
A Battle to Fight
An Adventure to Live
A Beauty to Rescue
If a man wants to know what he is made of, I would urge him strongly to take on some sort of endurance event. Triathlon, Spartan Race 13+ miles, Biking, Marathon, Ultra-Marathon, go-ruck event, being away from your family or loved ones for an extended period of time.
A man will find out a lot about himself by physically and mentally challenging himself. The thing you don’t think you can do. That’s the thing you need to do.
Men need to continually learn new skills and become proficient at the ones already developed. If you want to build a website but don’t know how…then learn. If you don’t know how to bench press…then learn. If you don’t know how to shoot a gun, then go learn. Do manly stuff!
Men know that there is never an arrival point, there is never a destination. This life is asymptotic. Meaning you will continually come closer and closer to perfection, but never reach it. This should be encouraging because the sky is the limit.
Once you have a skill, work hard to hone it, and incorporate it into your daily life.
Every day you have a choice as a man, you can settle into mediocrity and passivity that this culture nurtures and cultivates, or you can set yourself apart and be the man you are made to be.
Being that man isn’t easy, because doing things the right way is not popular, and others will go against you because they are shallow scared little boys.
Boys hide and do what feels good, they don’t take responsibility or ownership. They are cowards, afraid of the success they can achieve, afraid to be dangerous and harsh.
It takes a man to make men.
How to obtain Mastery
Don’t look for shortcuts. First, say to yourself what type of man you want to be, then be that man. No one is going to push you more than yourself. A man doesn’t wait for things to be perfect, he takes action.
Stay Consistent. Don’t give up because something gets hard. Becoming the man you are made to be, takes time, effort and practice. Lots of it. Epictetus said: “No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.
Remain Teachable and Humble. These go hand in hand. Humility leads to being teachable. When you realize that you don’t know anything that is when you are ready to learn anything. Remember that you are a warrior and that you were made for greatness. Warriors are teachable, and always ready to learn.
Be willing to adapt. Things don’t always go as planned, but if you remain strategic in your approach and are developing your skill and strength then you will be able to adapt and change as new opportunities and openings arise in your life.
Challenge Yourself. Never think that you have arrived. That you have reached your destination. A man’s journey lasts a lifetime, and you can’t do things because you think you are going to get noticed or because you want accolades. Do the things you need to do because they will make you better as a man, not because you think you will be rewarded for doing them.
Don’t ever settle into mediocrity. Always choose the higher road. You will be a better man because of it, one that is born hardship, pain, discomfort, and grief. Life is never guaranteed to be easy, and as a man, this is the first step in developing a warrior mindset and a never quit attitude.
Be Legendary, Be Authentic.
Do Manly Stuff, Create goals and then conquer those big audacious goals that you set for yourself.
Kick ass. Ever. Single. Day.
Be the man that you were made to be.
Stephen Dull is a Navy Veteran, Cross-fit Enthusiast, Blogger, Podcaster, Engineer, who loves to lift weights in his garage, and help men be the men that they were made to be.
I was talking with a buddy and his lady the other day about them possibly getting a dog.
I love dogs, so obviously I was trying to sell them on the idea.
We went from talking about breeds to the specifics, like should they get pet insurance and so on.
Finally, the conversation dove into how stupid regulations are, namely the fact that my dog is banned in 7 countries.
If you’ve ever met Teddy, my 3-year old dogo Argentino, you’d know he’s an absolute sweetheart. The guy’s a teddy bear (hence the name).
Granted, at 110 pounds of solid muscle, you wouldn’t want to break into my house if Teddy’s inside. But isn’t that the point?
Part of the point of owning a dog is, of course, companionship, but they’re also working animals. They serve a purpose. Part of Teddy’s purpose is to protect and defend the house, especially when I’m not home.
Some governments – be they national, provincial, state, or municipal – look at the capacity a dog has to do harm to other dogs or humans, and they punish owners (by making them pay higher for licensing or insurance) or by outright banning the dog, regardless of what the evidence says.
For instance, chihuahuas bite more humans than pitbulls.
And dogo’s, well, they’re not even on the list – any list for that matter.
If you know dogs you’ll know it’s 100% dependent on the owner. If the owner is a prick, then the dog is likely going to react accordingly.
Punishing the masses for a few bad apples is always horrific policy.
Regardless, Teddy is a wonderful companion, and a GREAT guard dog.
That’s his purpose.
It’s also MY purpose, and YOUR purpose.
While we’re here to provide for others, to lead others, to inspire and motivate and so on, we’re also here to defend.
That’s our role.
Men are bred over thousands upon thousands of years to guard the village and city gates from other men and animals who would do its inhabitants harm.
Just like societies try to limit or even ban dogs who have the capacity for danger, they’re trying to make our men softer, more timid and malleable.
You have to fight that.
I have to fight that.
While we need to be caring, kind, and good, if we don’t accompany that with the capacity for danger, it’s all for nought.
And while you’re going to the gym to build bigger muscles, to get lean, and to increase your testosterone levels, you’re also there to train your body to be dangerous, and to have that potential running through your veins.
Because, as a man, in the end, it’s not about you.
You’re dangerous so those around you can be free, safe, and creative.
You’re dangerous so those around you don’t have to worry.
You’re dangerous because that’s what real men have been since before Moses wore short pants.
Take this quest with you next time you’re in the gym, and I guarantee you’ll put more into your training because when you think of your purpose on these terms, there’s a heck of a lot more at stake from your training.
Earlier this year I mentioned that I’m splitting my reading list up.
On one hand, I’m studying guys who’ve accomplished great things and either through their own words or their biographies, have left clues for what has made them over-achievers, winners, and even billionaires and conquerors.
The other part of my reading is learning marketing. I spend time reading articles and studies about testosterone and training and self-improvement, but knowledge on that front is useless if eyes don’t see my site, my youtube page, or my programs or books.
The first guy I’m studying is Trump, and I’m doing so because of something I noticed in a few of his interviews…
… His self-talk is POWERFUL
You can tell he doesn’t let doubt or negative talk enter his mind about himself by how he talks about himself, his accomplishments to others.
This can come off as incredibly arrogant. He doesn’t doubt himself. He talks himself up. He brags and boasts, but he also works.
Having true humility dictates that you understand that you have to work to get what you want. If you were arrogant, you wouldn’t work because you think you’re God’s gift to the world and that you’re entitled to what you haven’t yet earned.
Trump works. He sleeps 3-4 hours a night so he can work more than his competition. THAT is humility. Most people won’t boast or brag, but they also won’t work. They’ll think they’re entitled, worthy of what they don’t have, but they won’t vocalize it so they think they’re humble, they’ll show it in their actions, their laziness, their complaining.
I want to get into the mind of how a guy goes from starting his own real estate company, tackling the insanely tough New York market, to becoming the President of the most powerful nation in the world.
We’ll split this into two parts. Read both. Whatever your politics, forget about them for two days and take something from a guy who’s figured out to accomplish much of what he sets out to achieve.
Intelligence cannot be kept as a theory. It has to be put into action. I don’t count people who can talk about theories and intentions as intelligent. You’re (I’m) only intelligent if you create something, accomplish something…
… And those people who continually set massive goals and go out and achieve them are the most intelligent among us, so let’s learn from them.
Here are 3 lessons I’ve learned from Donald Trump that will help you become a more powerful man.
Lesson #1: You’re a king, you’re a killer.
In the early 90’s, Trump was in MASSIVE debt. He owed billions of dollars. The people and media outlets that had previously praised him were now calling him a moron. He was a piraya.
He admittedly lost the work ethic and discipline that got him his initial success and started believing his own initial hype (and going into billions of dollars in debt is a tough way to learn that lesson).
Everyone was after him. Bankers, media, colleagues, they all wanted his downfall. His old man, however, wasn’t buying this ‘end’. He wasn’t worried about his son or his future.
When Donald asked his dad for advice, his dad said two phrases:
“You’re a king. You’re a killer.”
Trump believed it. He believed his dad. He stood taller and faced the obstacles head on.
Here’s the truth:
YOU are a king. YOU are a killer. Act like it.
Don’t doubt yourself. If you doubt yourself, everyone will. Don’t diminish who you are. Don’t talk about yourself like you’re anything less than a king, a killer. And ACT LIKE ONE.
Work like a guy who can accomplish anything. Work harder than your competition. Hunt down your prey like the king of the jungle.
How you view yourself is the most important thing in the world.
You can see yourself as a king and a killer, or a failure and a weakling. But however, you see yourself is how others will see you.
You will not get the respect from the world that you crave if you don’t first give it to yourself.
Give yourself permission to be THE MAN.
Forget about sounding arrogant. Forget about being conceded. You’re going to do the work. You’re not entitled or lazy. So start seeing yourself like the man you can be, and talk like you’re that guy, too.
Self-talk is powerful.
It can be powerfully destructive or helpful, it’s up to you which one it is.
Lesson #2: You are who you think you are, who you say you are.
If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right. ~ Henry Ford
Ever since I started reading a couple books about Trump (How to Think Like a Billionaire, and, Think Big and Kick Ass), I’ve been paying close attention to my self-talk.
And it sucks.
I have a book that I’m releasing in a few days. And I’m worried abo
ut how it’ll be received. I’m thinking about worst case scenarios, I’m doubting myself and my abilities.
There’s no benefit to it. Even if the book is horribly received, I can write another one, a better one. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s more likely that it’ll be received well. It’s a good book. It’ll help thousands of guys learn how to eat and live in a way that’ll boost their testosterone levels.
Think like a winner.
Think like a billionaire.
In innate talent and ability, many billionaires are no better than you or I. They do, however, have more confidence, they give themselves permission to live to a higher standard. They talk to themselves like they’re kings and killers.
You and I HAVE TO do the same.
We have to get in the habit of not doubting ourselves in any way. We’re X on the way to become Y.
Trump talks about this in his book, Think Big and Kick Ass.
Don’t see yourself as a law student, but as a law student on his way to becoming partner.
Or a fitness pro, but a fitness pro on his way to creating a powerful publishing company.
Think bigger, not just in terms of goals, but in terms of who you are. And don’t you DARE doubt yourself. Don’t let those weak thoughts get anywhere close to you.
Lesson #3: It’s easier to get a $100 million dollar loan than a $50,000 loan.
The competition resides in being mediocre.
There are only a few hundred billionaires on the planet. That’s not a lot of competition.
There are billions of people who think small and set their sights low.
In one of the books, Trump makes the point that it’s easier to get a loan for a massive project than it is to get one for a small project.
Banks want to attach their name and brand to something big, not renos in a poor part of town, but a big project in a big part of town.
Most aim for the small things. Few aim for the big things.
For Trumps first few deals he had no money. He had to go out and raise a ton of money, but also pit the banks and the city against one another. In one deal he ended up PAYING LESS THAN ZERO because the city gave him a massive tax rebate that was more than the initial loan he got from the bank.
He went into the deal with literally no money. But that didn’t stop him.
It took years of negotiation, but holy hell did he get a good deal.
Most of us aren’t even aware of the bigger options.
We’re so set in a smaller way of thinking that we limit our options all-together.
Thinking big requires you to step back and truly see the possibilities. A part of this is studying what’s possible.
Spend time studying the biggest players in whatever game you’re in.
See what they’re doing. Study that actions they take, and live on their level.
Everyone can teach you a lesson.
The reality is that there are people who are playing on a bigger stage than you are, but their abilities don’t differ all that much, the same for myself.
How you talk to yourself, what you set your sights on, who you think you are, these are the things that determine the man you become, and what you accomplish in life so long as you’re willing to work.
A lot has been discussed about testosterone’s ability to induce fat-loss, enhance muscle growth, and increase libido. That’s all good and well, but testosterone’s true impact extends far beyond just these three areas. As a man, your testosterone levels are a major driving force in your overall health, energy, and well-being. In this article, I’ll go over the importance of this hormone and how it impacts various aspects of your mind, body, and behavior.
Testosterone Improves Cognitive Function
Elderly men (over the age of 50) screened for subjective memory complaints and low testosterone levels were brought into a lab and assessed for various measures of cognitive functioning. After baseline measurements were established, participants were given varying doses of testosterone treatment. The experiment lasted 52-weeks, after which participants across the board showed significant improvements in general cognitive functioning. Similar results were found in another study, in which 8-weeks of testosterone treatment significantly improved verbal fluency in healthy men.
How testosterone impacts the brain is not exactly understood, but researchers theorize that T plays a role in preventing brain tissue decay. This might explain why men with low testosterone have an increased chance of developing Alzheimer’s disease.
In a study of 108 elderly men (over the age of 65), participants were randomly assigned to wear either a testosterone patch or a placebo patch for 36 months. Bone mineral density measurements were recorded before and after the 36-month period. At the end of the experiment, researchers found that the lower the pretreatment testosterone level of the subject, the greater the effect that testosterone treatment had on increasing the bone mineral density of their lumbar spine.
In another study, 609 men (over the age of 60) were observed over a period of 16 years. Bone mineral density and lifestyle factors were assessed at baseline and testosterone levels were also taken into account. After analyzing the data and adjusting for factors such as age, weight, fracture history, smoking status, and calcium intake, researchers found serum testosterone to be independently associated with the risk of osteoporotic fracture.
The strength of your bones is directly correlated to the amount of testosterone running through your veins. To minimize your chances of developing osteoporosis and other bone complications, it is essential that you develop the habits to help maintain optimal levels of testosterone.
Testosterone Maintains Heart Health
Testosterone’s primary function is the strengthening of your body’s muscles, and no muscle is more important than your heart.
In an examination of 83,010 elderly men with documented low testosterone levels, researchers observed how testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) impacted the subjects’ cardiovascular health. After analyzing the data, researchers found that the normalization of the subjects’ T-levels after TRT led to a significant reduction in the risk of developing cardiovascular disease. Similar results were reported in another follow-up study of 11,606 men, in which low testosterone was noted as a possible predictive marker of cardiovascular disease.
When compared to men with normal testosterone levels, men with low T tend to have significantly higher body mass index, systolic blood pressure, triglycerides, cholesterol, and blood sugar. All of these factors affect cardiovascular health negatively.
One of the mechanisms through which testosterone improves heart health is by stimulating red blood cell production. Hemoglobin is a compound present within red blood cells that carries oxygen. By increasing red blood cell production, testosterone allows for a more effective transport of oxygen throughout the body.
Testosterone Fuels Your Competitive Drive
In a study of 64 men, each subjects’ T-level was assessed before and after a rigged one-on-one competition. After the first round of competition, participants chose whether or not they wanted to compete again. Researchers found that fluctuations in T-levels independently predicted whether or not subjects would choose to compete again. The losers who experienced a spike in T were more likely to choose to compete again compared to the losers who experienced a drop in T.
In another study, university tennis players were assessed for their testosterone measurements across six matches during their varsity season. Researchers found that T-levels rose just before matches and that the players with the highest pre-match T reported the most positive improvement in mood. After playing the matches, T-levels in the winners were higher compared to the T-levels in the losers. The winners also experienced higher T before their next match compared to the losers who had lower T before their next match.
Competition is a fundamental aspect of our nature as men, and research confirms that testosterone factors in to affect this trait. That being said, this relationship could just as easily be affected in reverse. For example, a mindset centered on performing well could also boost T, which would then further fuel your competitive drive.
Testosterone Makes You Attractive
76 men were brought into a lab in pairs and instructed to compete for the attention of an attractive female. Researchers found that the subjects’ pre-competition testosterone levels were positively associated with their expressions of dominant behavior and with how much the woman indicated that she “clicked” with each participant. The conclusion of the study was that testosterone plays a major role in regulating the behaviors that enhance mating success.
In another study, researchers investigated the relationship between circulating testosterone and both masculinity and attractiveness of facial appearance. What they found was that, across the board, composites from high-testosterone men were judged to be more masculine and more attractive than those from low T men.
Testosterone Improves Your Mood
In a meta-analysis of 16 human trials with a total of 944 subjects, researchers observed a significant positive impact of testosterone treatment on mood. This finding is further exemplified by the results from another study, in which 6-months of testosterone treatment helped 19 out of 30 men overcome depression.
In yet another study, 3987 men were assessed for depressive symptoms, of which 203 were diagnosed with depression. When analyzing the data, researchers found that the participants with depression also had significantly lower testosterone levels than the non-depressed men. They concluded that men with testosterone levels in the lowest quintile have the highest prevalence of depression.
Irritability, anger, uncertainty, and aggression are all emotions that tie back to mood. If you’ve been experiencing these emotions more frequently as of recent, it’s likely that low testosterone is a contributing cause. Taking the steps to increase your T can definitely help overcome these emotions and allow you to feel more relaxed and at ease.
Testosterone Increases Your Appetite For Risk
In an interesting study of male financial traders, researchers found that a trader’s morning level of testosterone was predictive of his day’s profitability. The traders willing to incur the most risk also set themselves up with a higher chance of scoring big. Similar results were found in another study, in which both men and women with high testosterone consistently showed a willingness to incur greater financial risk while gambling than their lower testosterone counterparts. And if that wasn’t enough, MBA students with the highest testosterone levels were more likely to choose the riskiest careers in finance.
By definition, risk is associated with potential downside. That being said, risk is definitely something you have to indulge in in order to rise above your current circumstances. As the saying goes “high risk equals high reward”. Don’t look at risk as something good or bad but just know that, without it, growth cannot occur.
Testosterone Helps You Live Longer
794 men (aged 50-91) were followed up with over a period of 11.8-years. During the follow-up, 548 deaths occurred. When observing the data, researchers found that the men with total testosterone levels in the lowest quartile were 40% more likely to die than those with higher levels. This relationship held true even after adjusting for factors such as age, body fat, and lifestyle.
The research is very clear on this:
Low testosterone levels are independently associated with an increased mortality rate in elderly men.
Of course, it’s not only about living longer. Quality of life is equally important. And given the benefits listed above, testosterone helps in that regard as well.
Testosterone is the biological cause of masculinity. Everything that you would consider “manly” (deep voice, broad shoulders, facial hair, etc.) can be traced back to the amount of testosterone running through one’s veins. That being said, the influence of this hormone is far wider than just controlling these characteristics. The strength of your bones, the health of your heart, and the function of your brain are all aspects on which testosterone exerts a major influence.
By developing the lifestyle habits that align with the maintenance of optimal T, you will ensure that your mind and body are functioning near peak potential. By maintaining these habits over the long-term, you will sustain your youth and virility well into old age.
About the Author
Mo Saleem is an independent men’s health researcher and founder of TripleYourT.com. His mission is to empower men with the evidence-based action steps to help optimize their testosterone levels so that they can actualize their potential.
It’s everywhere around us. We’ve been schooled in it since the day of our birth. And, inevitably so, as the population rises, there are even more mediocre humans attempting mediocre things.
What we aren’t shown is truly daring.
We don’t have examples of impressive audacity.
In our own lives, we can’t even dream about what that would look like.
So we set ‘big goals’, and 10x them, and increase the dollar amount, but we don’t live daring lives.
We don’t live in a way that would lead one to think that we have an understanding that our death is coming, sooner than we’d like to believe.
We live like time is infinite.
I mentioned earlier this year that I’m splitting up my reading into two parts:
Marketing – something I need to get a lot better at.
Greatness – men who’ve accomplished truly great things, both in our present time and in history.
So far, I’ve read about a lot of great men. Few of whom were born into a position of greatness. Even those who were born into power – like Alexander – did more with that power than any of them.
That’s a point that needs to be driven home…
We see some success stories and we search for advantages they had that we don’t. But we ignore that it’s our duty to do the best with what we have. That’s it.
Take Trump. People lambaste him for taking a $1 million loan from his old man. They say, “if I got a loan like that I’d be a billionaire too.” Odds are they wouldn’t. Not even close.
If you make $30k/year you’re in the top 1% in the world. And yet we choose to see ourselves as have nots rather than haves.
Hence, you and I have to study great men. We need to see what true greatness is, and how you don’t need a hand-out to attain it. Here are 3 guys you should study and the book’s to begin with:
Napoleon became the emperor of the country that conquered his homeland. Think about that, first, then think about it in terms of title being everything during his time. The title you were born with was the title you would die with.
Yet, he had no title. Still, he become emperor of the very country that overtook his own. That would be like a Polish man ruling the Soviets during their reign, or an Indian becoming king of England when they ruled India. It’s incredible. The scope of his accomplishments need to be studied.
Cook, too, was born in a time when title and birthright determined what you would do with your life. He was born to a farming family. Yet he ended up becoming a Merchant Marine, gaining command of his own ship (which was a lucrative career back then), only to quit and join the Navy, starting again from the very bottom.
He worked his way up and got command of his own ship there, too. He did what no men did before him, and he did it all in the pursuit of adventure.
John D. Rockefeller
Rockefeller was born poor, dirt poor, but died the richest man in the world. Not only was he born poor, but his old man left his mother for another lady and another family.
He acquired wealth as much through audacity and daring as discipline. In fact, discipline was the main driver behind his insane ability to grow and gain power.
Study great men as a means to get into their mind, their way of thinking, setting goals, and dreaming.
Mediocrity is all around you. You do not have to be a part of it.
Books can transport you to another time, another way of viewing the world. They’re a tool. Use books to understand what’s possible.
It’s polarizing. If you don’t take the time to understand what the alpha is on this site, you’re likely to pass through without spending much time here.
If, however, you do read the articles on this site you’re going to see that ‘the alpha’ is simply the best man you can become.
Biology and society have some say in who this man is (you’re going to be strong, smart, dangerous, and accomplished), but you’re going to be able to define who he is and what he does based on your idea of the ideal.
Within the framework of what a man is, you’re going to be able to craft your ideal.
We need that framework, though.
We need to understand what it is to be a man, so that we can build on something solid, and build something lasting.
This definition includes ‘the man’s man’.
Women want him and men want to be him.
A couple years ago I packed my life into a trailer, latched it on to the back of my truck, and drove from Vancouver to Calgary to live in a new town, in a house I’d just bought.
I was excited as can be.
Halfway through what should have been a 9 or 10 hour drive, my GMC 2500 started overheating.
I used to work at a mechanic shop, so I knew a bit about trucks, but this was something I couldn’t fix. I’d fill the thing with coolant, it would be fine for 30-minutes, then it would overheat again.
I popped the hood, poured more coolant in, then saw it dripping through to the ground beneath the engine. There was a hole in the pipe, hence the coolant wasn’t actually getting to where it needed to be.
Out of my league, I called a tow truck.
We were in the middle of nowhere on a long weekend and the garage’s in town would most likely be completely closed.
I drove around with the tow truck fella until we found a guy working on his own vehicle in a garage he ran. This was long-past closing hours. We weren’t going to get the right pipe from the parts shop, so he could have easily turned me away and told me to deal with it two days from then when all of the shops re-open. But he didn’t.
He welcomed me into his shop after a long day and began taking a look. Ten minutes into helping me out he got a call from his wife, whom he told he’d be a while. Twenty minutes after that his wife came by the shop and brought the both of us a little bite to eat.
He continued to work on my truck and within an hour I was set to go with a makeshift tube taking the place of the rubber pipe that had a gaping hole in it and I was back on the road.
That mechanic was a man’s man. He didn’t say many words. He was ready to help when someone else needed it. We know who these guys are. We’ve grown up with them as our father’s, uncle’s, brothers.
They hunt, fish, fight, enjoy sports and a beer, and they’re the rock that others build their lives upon.
They’re also a dying breed.
But they don’t have to be.
Odds are you’re reading this because you don’t want to be lumped together with the pussies and pansies that are making up an increasingly large majority of our males in society.
You want to be a man’s man. You want to be the rock of your household. You want to be self-reliant and tough. You want to be the guy who does what has to be done, not what he wants to do in the moment.
1. Define your ideal.
Men need a pursuit.
Women need men to have a pursuit.
I get emails daily about how to attract women and how to keep them. On some level, it’s not about the woman, it’s about whether or not you wake up with a purpose.
Women are attracted to men who are improving, growing, conquering, and winning.
This is great!
You need to win to feel as though you were here for a reason, and while you’re at it you get to attract women, awesome.
Define what you want in life and who you want to become.
We’re going to talk about this more in #9, for now, though, do this:
Write down your perfect day, if you had to live that day for the rest of your life. Where do you life? Who do you wake up next to? What do you do for work? What are your hobbies? Get in detail about the sights and sounds and smells and write it all down. Make it a short story about your ideal day.
2. Find archetypes.
Before you find archetypes, go back over your ideal and multiply it.
I’ve done that exercise before, then I’ve hung around with a pal or two who’s thinking on a bigger level and I’ve had to go back and revise.
The simplest way to do this from a numbers standpoint is to 10x everything. Make it bigger, then reverse engineer how you’re going to accomplish it.
Then, find people who’ve done what you want to do. Real people. In your industry and niche or even the realm of entrepreneurship or whatever you’re tackling.
See what they did right and where they had to learn a tough lesson.
If you want to live an adventurous life, study Shackleton or Theodore Roosevelt. Read about Captain James Cook and David Livingstone.
If you want to become rich, study Carnegie and Rockefeller. Both began life poor but ended wildly wealthy.
Find guys who’ve laid the path and see what they did. Learn.
The definitions of what it is to be a man’s man won’t include wealth, and I don’t think they have to. They should, however, include accomplishment.
Whether you’re an accomplished businessman, hunter, fisher, outfitter, explorer, writer, or whatever, you need to be good – even great – at something to fulfill your purpose and reason for being here. Hence, defining that thing and doing all you can to make it a reality is a must.
3. Become a jack of all trades.
Know how to fix your truck – or at least the basics of auto repair.
Know how to hunt and fish.
Be the guy others go to for help and be the guy who doesn’t have to call another guy for help.
The best way to do this, oddly enough, is to ask for help!
I had a neighbour who recently passed away (God bless the guy), who helped me with a lot of stuff around my house. He showed me how to fix this and that and now I can do it on my own. Without him it would have been tough.
My old man has a library full of ‘for Dummies’ books, and now uses youtube when he can’t figure something out on his own. He’s done a great job with my folk’s house.
4. Work with your hands no matter what your work may be.
We need to create something with our hands.
Work is becoming abstract in that we do something or sell something and money is deposited into our account electronically.
Less and less do we create things with our hands, but the joy that comes from actually creating things and building things cannot be replicated by the abstractness of sales or marketing.
It’s important to at the very least have a hobby, or go through the frustration of fixing things in your home or vehicle. We need the tangible of building and fixing, not just the monetary gains of a career.
John Wayne said, a man’s gotta have a code, a creed to live by.
I wholeheartedly agree.
There’s so much uncertainty in our world that we need to know what we live for and we need to have an idea, a set of rules, virtues, and values that guide us.
Define that code today. Don’t spend another day wandering. March forward and bring others with you.
When times get tough – and they will – it’s this code that will guide your actions and your decisions.
10. Have the courage to be the man, ignorant of the trends.
The man’s man is the constant.
Though trends and fads come and go, he remains true to who he is.
The code I mentioned in the previous point is necessary.
My old man has a code. He’s been a constant throughout my life. Through ups and downs and hardships, he’s remained steady.
Faith has a lot to do with this. It’s easier to define why you’re here and how you act when you have something greater guiding you, but even if you don’t, define what values guide your actions.
Whether you’re a Christian or not, read the book of Proverbs. Read it like a book, not like a Bible.
It’s a great guide to living a good, fruitful, and strong life.
WHAT DO YOU THINK A MAN’S MAN IS?
WHAT HELPS YOU LEAD OTHERS?
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.
I spent my entire lifetime trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless, but not men. ~ Vito Corleone, the Godfather
Children can look to their parents for help. They can blame others for what they’ve done. They can fall back on someone else’s assistance and get careless and have the problem solved for them. (Read This:10 Lessons Every Father Must Teach His Son)
Men cannot afford to be careless.
Men cannot behave in a manner that would jeopardise our employment. Boys can stay out late, get drunk with pals, lose their job, ride free on the backs of their folks for a few months, and then get another job. Men cannot.
Men cannot spend their money frivolously. They cannot buy what they cannot afford. What they earn they have to use wisely, they have to invest and pay off whatever creditors they have.
Becoming an adult is something that was once done at 19 or 20. Today it seems as though it may happen at 40.
If you look at the statistics of debt held in the west, by-in-large, most people owe more than they bring in on an annual basis. The good cities, the cities or towns where values still hold are closer to the debt to profit margin, while the bad ones, a city like Vancouver, for example, has its citizens earning – on average – half of the debt they’ll carry in a year.
Housing prices aside, this number is driven by an aspiration to portray and image, not the once all-important quest to be of character.
This article treats trivialities like image and consumerism as something that children can do, but not men. If you aspire to be good and manly, there are things that, when you hit 20, you simply have to leave behind.
If you’re in your thirties or forties and you’re still doing some of the things or behaviours on this list, ask yourself if you need to be, ask yourself if these behaviours and habits make you stronger or weaker and if they make you weaker, why have them?
Being an adult male means you have to be a leader. In some capacity people look up to you or depend on you. Don’t be careless with this honor.
1. Keep a budget.
The first change that a young fella has to adopt when he enters manhood is budgeting. You’re planning for something now. You’re saving for a life you want to create in the future and for a family that you may not yet have, but will one day. (Read This:11 Tips to Budget Your Money Like a Winner)
A budget is as much about knowing what’s coming in and what’s going out that it is about saving. It’s knowing what you have a tendency to spend money on that you don’t need and don’t really want, but you buy anyway.
It’s self-responsibility. It’s taking care of your affairs. It’s not being careless.
2. Think about what you buy.
I saw a video a couple months ago. It was some Youtube guy talking about having an abundance mindset. This notion that things will come into his life led him to spend money frivolously.
An abundance mindset is good. To know that if you work hard and smart that things will come into your life is a good thing. It’s a positive thing. To spend money on things you want on a whim, to let your desires push your purchasing habits is a dependence mindset.
Somewhere along the line the kid used the idea of an abundance mindset as an excuse to buy what he wants in a moment.
Discipline is discerning, it’s having the knowledge to back what you want to buy with logic and reason for purchasing it.
Children can spend money on stupid things. Men cannot.
Next time you have a desire that leads you to want to buy something, stop and think. Think about what this desire really is.
It’s most likely fuelled by an image you want to portray, which is given to you not by your genetics or what’s truly important in life, but my marketing, be it in film, in someone you look up to, in a magazine that skilfully lays out a persona of a man that you’d like to be yours.
This desire isn’t deep, it’s not meaningful, it’s wrought with triviality and once this image is achieved, another purchase will have to follow to further fulfill it.
Stop. Breathe. Think. What is it you really want?
It’s likely something that you think this purchase will get you but you’re wrong. Save your money, buy land, God ain’t making any more of it.
3. Do what you don’t want to do.
Boys can do what they want. If they don’t want to study, all they get is a bad grade, who cares.
Those among us who are men, who are winners, do what they don’t want to do with as much effort and pride as the things they love to do.
Success is often merely a matter of doing the things you’re not passionate about at a high level.
Being a good husband and father is often about the same thing. Of course you want to play with your kids and relax with them, but those dishes need to get done, the chores need to be completed, your lady deserves rest before you do. You’re a man. Rest is something that’s more infrequent for you than for anyone. (Read This:How to Rest Like an Alpha)
4. Take pride in everything you do, in who you are.
Take pride in how you look. Take pride in the work you do. Take pride in the man you are.
That means that you’re not lazy and you don’t sell yourself short.
Too many of us hold incredibly low expectations of what we can achieve in this lifetime and what our life will be. We give a fraction of what we can give to our work, to our family, and we push down the dreams we had as a kid because now they seem so out of line with the path we’ve been pushed into that we see them as not real.
This article is obviously not simply a matter of being an adult, but of being a great one.
Too many ‘adults’ slide into a way of life that is beneath them, both in character and accomplishment.
They sell themselves short. That doesn’t mean that the line of work you’re doing is beneath you, but that the work you’re doing, how you’re performing, and the pride you’re taking in what you’re doing is short of what it can be.
In no way does it make sense to give less effort, to pay less attention to detail. You end up giving close to the same amount of time, yet the results you create are far less than what they can be. Why not give your best? (Read This:Be A Man Of Action and Victorious Effort)
It’s like laziness, it makes no sense to be lazy. There’s no logic behind it, no benefit at all to the individual, yet we do it day after day.
Take pride in how you dress. Keep yourself well-kept and your body in shape. Don’t get fat and lazy, it’s unbecoming of what your potential dictates you should be.
5. Never be lazy.
6. Never blame someone or something for where you are right now.
7. Don’t change.
Don’t get careless or soft or lazy when things are going well. It’s easy to hustle when you have to. When you don’t, when things are taken care of and the bills are paid, people slip.
“It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning to go for a run when you’re sleeping in silk sheets”.
Yet, you still have to get up and out of bed, not because you need the money but because that’s who you are, you’re a man for shite’s sake, act like one.
A grinder, a worker, a man who takes pride in who he is doesn’t change or soften or weaken. You are who you are. Be the same guy when you’re at the bottom as you are when you’re at the top.
Highs and lows come and go. Life is a never-ending ebb and flow. Be the constant.
8. Give time to your family.
All of this work we do, all of these dreams we have, the goals we hustle to bring to reality, are for no reason if we don’t give our time to our family.
The excuse that so many men use is that they do all of this for their families. It’s not true. They may think it’s true, but what your family really needs is you.
You can make a few hundred grand or a few million less in your lifetime without diminishing your degree of happiness or value or worth and instead give those hours where that money was earned to the people that matter most.
The greatest regret for most men is that they were so focused on earning and they used their family as an excuse to spend more time earning instead of giving them their time.
9. Let your lady rest before you do.
The best example of what men have become today is in how we do chores around the house that our lady typically does. Let’s take the dishes, for example. Maybe that’s something that your lady does normally, but tonight you have to do them, and you do them just good enough to pass, but bad enough that she doesn’t want you to do the dishes anymore because you didn’t do them well enough.
I’ve heard this complaint from many a lady. I’ve done this myself, too. It’s less than who you are, who we are.
It goes back to the take pride in everything you do change in mindset. This includes chores and things that you don’t want to do at all.
If you’re going to do something, do it well.
More than that, do things you don’t have to do, let your lady rest before you do. Be the man, not just a man.
The problem with our society today is that youth is praised more than age and wisdom. It used to be the elders we looked up to, now it’s the young, the person living with no responsibility and a care-free lifestyle.
That’s ass-backwards. It doesn’t reflect what our priorities should be. We praise the dependent, the immature, the weak.
Be the strong, self-reliant, masculine male that you need to be to be called a man or a man’s man or a leader. It’s the same guy you need to be to live the life you genuinely want to live.
If this is heaven, if we’re not moving toward heaven, how would you live?
What would you spend your time doing, building, creating? What adventures would you embark upon? Who would you spend your time with and sacrifice for?
Be the man that your idea of living demands you become, not the boy that your desires make you act like.
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.