Be a better man, daily. No wish, no dream, follow the plan in this article and simply, be a better man day in and day out.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
We want to be better men, we all do. Few, however, have a plan to carry it out. Just like few men have a plan for power or wealth even though they dream about it nightly.
What follows are 9 action steps that you can take this week that’ll help you be a better man, but also become better at being a man, that is, the core, the base of what masculinity is, utilitarian above all else.
You’re here to serve a purpose. You’re here to win. You are not here to fill a clog, to fit into a puzzle, to exist.
A woman is born. A man is made. (read: The Manliness Checklist)
Manhood is something to aspire toward. It’s a goal, something to achieve, it isn’t something that occurs when you reach puberty or buy a house or even get married.
It’s something you win. People around you know when you’re there. They know they can count on your for all kinds of things that they maybe once couldn’t.
They know you’ll lead them in the right direction and for the right reasons and they’re glad to follow.
The Romans called manliness, excellence in all things. And it is. Excellence isn’t born, but crafted over time, as is manliness.
1. Do what you say you’re going to do.
A man is no better or worse than his word. Yet, we lie to ourselves every day. We say we’ll do this, act like this, achieve that, and we never do.
If we’d only do what we say we’re going to do in business and in life we would be able to look back at our lives with a pride rarely felt in the course of humanity. (read: what it means to be a man)
Intentions are like buttholes… You know where the line goes.
They’re shitty and everyone has them.
Accomplishments, well, they’re rare. They’re a big part of why we’re here. We’re not here to want to do something, intend to do something, or wish we could do something. We’re here to achieve. From big to small, do what you say you’re going to do, whether you say it to yourself silently or aloud to others. Get it done.
2. Do what you don’t feel like doing.
One of the best barometers of whether you should do something or not, is that you don’t feel like doing it.
Try this for a day. Most people, men especially these days, avoid doing things simply because they don’t feel like doing it.
When you have that moment of not feeling like doing something, do it. Sometimes you’ll have to avoid something because it doesn’t stick with the plan, but the point is to do those things you initially set out to do but now don’t feel like doing at all.
Try it out. You will be a better man because of it. You’ll end the day having lived, achieved, and won. If you stack up enough days like that you’ll live a great, truly great, life.
3. Don’t get too low, or too high.
Enjoy your victories, celebrate them. We don’t do enough celebrating these days. That said, don’t get too high when nothing seems to go wrong, and definitely don’t get too low when it seems like everything is going wrong.
That’s nice to say, it’s a good piece of advice, but how do you actually achieve it, namely not getting too low?
You have to have a plan for your life and for your day, and you have to follow that plan regardless of how you feel.
Action is an antidepressant. Being static and stationary will make you even more depressed. I’ve been through this, recently actually.
I had every opportunity to get really low, down, and depressed. It was staring me in the face every day, and the only thing that prevented it was action.
I set out every day to not stop until 8pm, regardless of how I felt.
I had a bunch of work to get done, yardwork, I had the gun range, the archery club, cigars, and books.
I wouldn’t stop until the day was done and it was time to wind down. That’s how you avoid being too low, you’re too busy to be low.
There’s a reason why I smoke cigars and it has nothing to do with aesthetics or taking pictures and all that nonsense. Cigars are meditation for men.
I’ll smoke one every second day or something like that. It’s an hour or so of meditation, of thinking, of putting things into perspective, putting the pieces of the puzzle together for life and business and even relationships.
Do it however you need to do it, but men need that moment in a day, whether by stogie or pipe or book, where they have silence to get their mind right.
It will help you become a better man.
5. Read more than you watch.
TV can be good. It can be a winding down, you can get inspired from it and even learn from it. More often than not, however, it’s useless, and people watch far too much of it.
Spend at least an hour a day reading, and less time than that watching TV.
As a man, you need to be smart. You need to be able to strategize and plan, to dissect situations and to not allow your emotions cloud important decisions. Reading will help you become a smarter man. A smarter version of yourself is undoubtedly a better version of yourself.
6. Be dangerous.
Better dictates you’re better at being what men should be, a protector and provider. The fact that you have the capacity to be dangerous means you’re at least the former.
The reality is that there are bad people out there, and as a man, you have to be better at being dangerous than those bad people. This means you know how to fight, that you’ve trained to do so, that you’ve strengthened your body so as to be successful at fighting, and, well, you know how to use a gun. (read: how to be an alpha male)
The ignorance that guns are bad can stand between not having one when a bad guy does have one. They’re a tool, like a hammer or a knife and they’re a much more effective tool in certain circumstances when your family’s safety is on the line.
Be as dangerous as you can possibly be.
This is what being a good man requires. We’re utilitarian beings. We’re here to serve some purpose and protection is definitely one of those purposes.
7. Plan how to be successful.
Success isn’t something you wish would happen, but something you’re strategically creating. The more money you make, the bigger your impact can be. Money isn’t the be all end all, it’s a tool, a gauge you can judge how good you are at what you do – one of many.
Up until a certain time in life, boys dream about success, they wish it and pray for it, but men plan for it.
Until it’s a plan, it remains a wish. Have a plan to achieve power and success, and then do whatever you have to do to create it.
8. Be stoic.
Stoicism is a lot of things, it’s a way to live and think and how to see things. It’s an understanding that the event isn’t as important as your reaction to it.
You have complete power and control over how you see things, tragedy, victory, betrayal, the absurdly unfairness of life. Most things are not a part of you. They do not wish to harm you, they simply are.
Read Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus to know how to live. Read Proverbs, anything by or about Theodore Roosevelt or George Washington, and learn to deal with the worst and the best like a man. Read Man’s Search for Meaning as well.
9. Take care of yourself first.
This goes against what most of us think is ‘good’, but it’s the truth. This does not in any way mean you buck responsibilities, but you put the oxygen mask over your mouth before you put it over your kid’s.
If you suck, their lives suck.
If you’re unsuccessful, weak, fat, depressed, sad, down in the dumps, their lives are negatively impacted.
You have to be at your best for their lives to be at their best. You’re their foundation. So, take care of your shit. Get your money right. Get your mind right. Get your body right.
Have the things in your life you need to do to put wind in your sails. It could be hiking, hunting, shooting, reading, smoking a stogie every day, having beers with your pals once a week. Whatever you need to get yourself right, have it in your routine and don’t compromise.
Do the things on this list, most of them should be routine.
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And please comment! Would love to hear your thoughts.
Action Step: Boost Testosterone, Libido, and Improve Health with Man Grees.
Image is everything. Okay, that’s not true, who you are and what you achieve is far more important than how you look. That said, you want to put the best version of yourself out there visually, because people do judge on appearance. If you look successful and manly you’re going to have that effect on others, which is what you want. (Read: 5 Steps to Be a Better Man)
You want to both look like the man and be the man.
Yet, style is trending toward the feminine. Men today are told to groom and pluck their face and chest and tighten their jeans and soften their skin.
In short, men are being pushed to look more feminine. Look at razor commercials or body spray commercials and you’ll see a slew of ‘somewhere in between’ looking humans, not men.
Men are also not being raised by men like they once were. What man knows how to fix his own truck, build his own fence, or fix the plumbing when it runs awry? Whether you want to look more manly in a suit or in jeans, in the boardroom or in the yard, I’ll show you 5 steps that’ll help you do that.
- Get in the gym!
You’re not trying to merely look ‘manly’, you want to both be the man and look like the man. You need to look like you command some damn respect and fear. You need to both be and look dangerous. Men, at their core, are just that, dangerous.
You’re technically a useless man if you don’t have the capacity to be a dangerous man. You’re useless to your community, your tribe, your family. If you can’t protect, you can’t do the thing that’s fundamental to masculinity.
And by gym, I don’t mean doing curls in the mirror with a tanned and hairless body. That ain’t how men workout. I mean join a boxing gym and learn how to fight. Join a crossfit gym and get your ass kicked. Get real world strong and athletic, not consumed by the aesthetic. (Read: Testosterone Supplements (what works and what doesn’t)
- Work with your hands.
Don’t wear lifting gloves, you’re not a woman. One of the biggest discrepancies between modern, soft men, and those from past generations, is their hands.
Men once worked with their hands, whether it was doing masculine work or working on their houses, you know, fixing things as men do.
Today we moisturize, we wear workout gloves, we use our hands to type and text not to hammer and shovel and bail. Popeye was created as a masculine figure, as was his arch enemy, both had massive forearms.
When you train your hands and your grip strength, you develop your forearms, and big forearms are very masculine. Call it ‘man cleavage’, because that’s the effect it has on women.
If you want to develop man strength/grip strength, try this program, it’s called Man Strength, and you get get it here..
- Trim but don’t go too far.
Masculinity is wild, or it has that capacity. You have to actually have the goods. Today the most popular videos and articles are those that focus on the things, the details, but not the foundation. You actually have to have what it takes. You have to be dangerous.
While masculinity is wild, if you want to look more manly today it’s also about success. You can’t look like a homeless fella. Get your hair cut every two weeks. Have a beard, I do, but keep it relatively trimmed.
Just don’t do all the eyebrows, manicures, pedicures, and the feminine things that men do these days. Look successful, not metrosexual.
Some easy archetypes would be Theodore Roosevelt, with his well-kept mustache, Tom Selleck, Sean Connery with his sometimes beard,
- Dress simpler.
Don’t be a fancy pants. Don’t be a peacock. Be a man. Dress like a man. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to dress down, you just don’t need all of the bracelets and fancy accessories that have become the norm these days.
Simpler is better if you’re trying to look masculine. If you want to look like something in between a real man and a fairy, then adorn yourself with every kind of accessory you can.
A man should wear a watch, always a watch, a gold chain if he wants, a good belt, but no bracelets, no rings other than the wedding one. Forget about the fancy sox. Forget about the wallet chain or whatever they’re called. And don’t jazz up your belt, simple leather.
- Loosen them jeans.
No man should ever wear anything resembling a skinny jean. Get real jeans. If you’re jacked they’ll inevitably be a little tight around the quads, but they’ll be broken in. This goes for all pants, don’t wear skinny pants. Women, by God, keep wearing them, but it’s feminine to wear skinny jeans.
It’s better to wear whatever the hell your old man wears than to adopt that silly style.
- Increase Your Testosterone Levels!
When we look at masculine traits, Psychology Today has an interesting point in an article I came across:
“The majority masculine traits are directly or indirectly related to the amount of testosterone available in a person’s body. On average, men’s testosterone levels are ten to forty-five times higher than women’s.” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-brothers-keeper/201410/the-stigma-masculinity)
Testosterone is what makes men, men, and low testosterone will send your masculine traits plummeting.
The big problem is that testosterone is on the decline with men, so we have to take this not only more seriously, but into our own hands as well.
The higher your testosterone levels, the more masculine you will be and appear.
Every man needs help in this area.
Start with the Man Diet book, get your free copy here
Get your bottles of Man Greens here
- Be more competitive.
Today we’re told that being competitive is a bad thing, which makes absolutely no sense, but that’s what we’re told. We’re told that it’s destructive, along with other male traits like aggression, dominance, and stoicism.
The truth is that there’s something very inate in men that makes us want to be better than the next guy. That’s not something to be ashamed of or to hide from, it simply is. Thus, being a part of your nature, you should fuel that fire because being competitive will be an asset in life.
It will lead to more success, more meaning, happiness, and achievement.
Foster that competitive nature within yourself. Don’t run from it. (Read: How to Develop an Iron Will)
- Be more stoic.
Stoicism is a choice, but the American Psychological Association listed it among the things that makes masculinity ‘toxic’.
Stoicism is good, 100% good, and those that practice it become powerful, not victims to events or a bad state of mind, but able to understand that it’s not the thing that matters, but how we choose to react to it that matters most of all.
There can’t be anything bad about that, and it’s something you, too, should aim to become, a stoic.
You can’t see yourself as a victim as a stoic. You won’t feel sorry for yourself, you won’t allow yourself to feel down, you will only do what you have to do and what you must do to win in life.
- Be rough around the edges.
Today we teach manners before manhood. That’s an ass-backward approach to teaching boys how to be men.
Be a man before you aim to be a gentleman. Don’t fret over style, accessories, or aesthetics if you haven’t the barbarian virtues won.
Theodore Roosevelt put it best when talking about his nation on the whole, but it applies to the individual as well:
“Over-sentimentality, over-softness, in fact washiness and mushiness are the great dangers of this age and of this people. Unless we keep the barbarian virtues, gaining the civilized ones will be of little avail.”
If a man isn’t dangerous enough to easily defeat bad men who are dangerous, then the ease, the softness, the emotion of human relationships, the civility we enjoy in our society, is lost.
It’s not enough for a man to know how to dial 9-1-1 and to wait for a cop to come to his rescue. By all means dial the number, but in the 15-minutes it takes for them to get there you’d better be able to successfully take matters into your own hands.
Be good at being a man before you even think about being a gentleman.
If you take that to heart, if you get in touch with who you are as a man, remove any feminine aspects from your personality, forge the barbarian virtues that are masculinity, and then polish it up with good, simple style.
You have to be a man before you can even think about being a gentleman. We’re lacking that
How to Look More Manly
The easiest way to look more manly is to be more manly. What’s being more manly? For that, you have to go back to its base, to be better at being a man not just merely good. Men are utilitarian.
We need to be able to protect our family, our women, our tribe, so get good at protecting, be a good fighter, warrior, learn to use guns and so forth. Learn how to fix things around your house. Become more successful, be the provider, the protector, not the fella wasting his money on clothes he can’t afford, looking silly in the process.
Adjust who you look to for style tips.
Look to Frank Sinatra, John Wayne, and Teddy, not the latest celebrity with estrogen-filled veins.
Struggling to get it up in the morning?
Facing the embarrassment and the stress that comes with not being able to get your soldier to stand at attention when you’re about to get frisky with your lady?
The market for libido boosters us growing rapidly, and men of younger and younger ages are getting hooked on those expensive and often unhealthy blue pills.
Are there natural, scientifically proven ways to increase blood-flow to that region (which is all that those blue pills do)?
On top of that, are there natural, scientifically proven ways to increase sex drive, independent of improving sexual function?
Sometimes it’s not merely a matter of not getting enough blood-flow, but of not having enough drive.
In this article you’ll learn about the perfect, natural, proven libido-boosting cocktail that includes a primary ingredient in those blue pills, which made the makers of Viagra furious when they found out they couldn’t patten this ingredient because it was found to be in high levels in a single herb found in nature.
You’ll also learn how much you need of each to be effective, and where to get them at a very inexpensive price.
Listen, just because you’re having trouble getting it up or your drive is low, it doesn’t mean that this has to be your plight in life, there’s A LOT you can do, and a lot you can do naturally, starting with these 3 potent herbs and vegetables.
The 3 Most Potent Libido Boosters Nature Can Provide
Beet Root: the Best Nitric Oxide Booster
Beets are the blood flow superfood. Packed with nitratines that help increase blood flow – which is vital for athletic and sexual performance.
The more you consume nitrates, the more nitric oxide is released into your blood, which not only helps with erectile dysfunction, but will increase muscle pumps and aid in workout recovery.
How often do you eat beets?
Rarely, I presume. And beet root?
I’m guessing not at all.
On top of that, powder form gets these benefits to your bloodstream fast and effectively. Get 1 gram a day.
Maca: Nature’s Most Potent Libido Booster
Maca has a long and rich history in ancient Peru where it was used by the Incan’s to improve libido, mood, and well-being.
Since being re-discovered by German scientists studying ‘lost Incan herbs’, it’s been more widely studied and shown to:
- Improve sexual function and boost libido in men
- Improves sperm production and health
- Improves joint health
- Reduces feelings of anxiety, improves sense of well being, and may reduce depression
With sexual function and libido being so closely linked to testosterone, and low testosterone often lowering a man’s libido and sex drive, you’d think that with its ability to increase libido and sexual function, maca would also help improve testosterone in men, but it doesn’t.
It’s often marketed as a magical testosterone booster because you can feel it working, but that’s not what it does.
It does, however, provide huge boost in libido, and is nature’s most potent libido booster. It’s also not something you’re going to consume very often in your diet (if ever).
Take it in powder form of 1.5 grams a day.
Horny Goat Weed
I was very skeptical about Horny Goat Weed simply because of its name. It sounds like a cheap marketing ploy designed to make money. Then, however, I dug into the research and found that Horny Goat Weed has not only been used for thousands of years, but it also has a very important ingredient that helps men both improve their testosterone levels, but also acts as a pro-erectile agent much in the same way that viagra does, albeit without any synthetic ingredients.
That ingredient is called icariin. Icariin inhibits the PDE-5 enzyme, which is also what viagra and cialis do with synthetic agents, while also increasing nitric oxide, which helps improve blood flow to that region.
One study on horny goat weed was used to overturn a patent made by the Viagra company stating that their formula was the only source of icariin in the world.
On top if this, other studies have shown that icariin has mimetic properties, and is able to mimic testosterone in the testes.
The benefits of Horny Goat Weed, however, don’t stop with libido and testosterone. Goat Weed is also a very healthy sounds of 37 different flavonoids while also being a very strong antioxidant.
It’s rare, and it doesn’t taste good, so take in powder form at 200 mg.
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Horny Goat Weed
Being good isn’t something to hang your hat on.
It’s nothing, really.
I’ve known men who pride themselves on being good, yet can’t provide for their family, they’re against guns because guns are bad and can’t protect their family as a result.
Goodness is often uselessness, and today we have a society that looks down on those they see as not ‘being good’.
We cannot talk about facts if feelings are caught in the crossfire.
To compound that, if one group or one individual somehow sees you as ‘not good’, they feel they have the right to spit on you, kick you, or call you any one of their go to names all in an effort to not prove you wrong, but to dehumanize you.
What’s ‘good’ today isn’t actually good – not to most people at least.
Being good should come secondary and only after we learn truths about the world.
You cannot understand goodness if you don’t understand responsibility, self-reliance, the family, economics, and success.
You’ll see evil in victory and righteousness in victimhood.
Men throughout history haven’t had that luxury. We had to learn about life before we could completely understand reality.
First we learned about responsibility, then duty, then those formed our idea of goodness.
Today there are only the victims and the oppressors and this is what most base their idea of morality on.
Decades ago ‘men’ of 15 or 16 or 17 lied about their age so they could travel across the world and defeat evil.
They did so out of duty and honor, not goodness or even morality, not because of a bleeding heart or a deep sorrow felt for victims, but because of duty.
They marched forward, toward the screaming bullets, through the minefields, into no-man’s land, into certain death because their sense of duty demanded they do so.
Forget about being good, for a second, and be a man.
They did what they felt their manhood called them to do. Our history is filled with such tales, of men doing what they had to do without complaint. Not whining about the difficulty of it, the unfairness of it, or even the absurdity and horror of it.
Would you rather be the Wolverine or Xavier? Trump or Jimmy Carter? Conan the Barbarian or the Pope?
Forget about goodness, our idea of goodness is false if it’s not upheld by duty, honor, and skill.
And that has been completely lost on our society.
We want achievement, we all do, but we’ve been taught that goodness comes before manliness, and it never has.
To be good and useless is to be unable to act on your goodness.
Be a man, in the most dangerous and barbaric and brutish sense, before you think of goodness.
Society has skipped this necessary step, so we have virtue signalling, pussified, sensitive, snowflakes who tell others how to live, what is good, what’s evil, how they’re evil, and they almost always see success as some form of robbery.
“If I can’t do it, no one can do it,” is usually their line of thinking.
You, I, basically all of us missed that first step.
We may have had great fathers or grandfathers or even great coaches, but society failed us in making manliness come as the first virtue a boy must learn, and not only that, but going further and demonizing what masculinity is entirely.
So, we (myself included) need to go back and learn, which is why I created the Barbarian Virtues – a course in being a man at the core of what that is, in opposition to what society is trying to make it.
Join us, because you’re not going to find those lessons and challenges from a pussified society trying to soften us daily.
Man up. Take action.
They took down Rome…
I’ve been to Rome a few times now, spending a month there a handful of years ago. Every time I go I visit the Colosseum and I’m told the same story.
The impressive building is riddled with holes from Barbarian Tribes removing the metals contained within the stone to make weapons. (read: we have a crisis of purpose)
You see the building, the audacity of it, the power of it, and you think, Who could take down the people that built this?
If Rome can fall, so can you, so can I, so can we.
The simple truth is that Rome was destroyed, defeated, and conquered by a harder, tougher people. (read: 15 signs you’re an alpha male)
Rome ruled the world for a thousand years because, for a long time, not only were they smarter, but tougher. They were killers, rulers, dominated other cultures that simply didn’t have their shh together.
Then, however, Rome changed.
They become soft, tolerant, morally loose. They stood for nothing. They stood for excess, slothfulness, and desire, not the strength and honor that was their culture.
History not only repeats itself on a grand scale, but we can learn from such a long, slow rise and fall and apply it to our own lives.
We get soft, we will be conquered.
To be very blunt, another fella who’s driven, who’s getting after it can come take your lady…
Another fella who’s getting after it and not being a victim can come and take your job…
We get soft, we’re not conquered by another, but by a sad state, one of victimhood, of failure, or of mediocrity.
Just like with Rome, the fall can happen slowly, it can start with a single habit and end in utter failure.
What should Rome have done? It’s the same thing we must do.
Get hard. Get tough. Be Barbaric.
In our lives, our purpose, as men, is to work, to provide and to protect.
We take on more, not less. We work longer hours, not fewer. We set higher goals, we do not relent.
Life is not easy. Defending the city gates has never been easy.
It doesn’t stop, either. We win one battle and it’s immediately onto the next.
Rather than comparing out lot to another, our path to that of another, rather than wishing and whining that we are not where we want to be, that we are not who we want to be, we have to accept that it’s only through struggle, through brutal effort and relentless work that we get what we want.
And it takes a long time.
There are examples to the contrary. Examples of quick success, but they’re few. Rome wasn’t built in a day, nor was this life you need to live to feel like you were here for a reason.
Don’t ever get soft.
Society, is. It’s weak. It’s too tolerant, too accepting, to accommodating and rather than helping it will hurt the lot of us.
Humans are a resilient species. We’ve evolved over thousands of years by facing hardship, harsh climates, real life monsters and disease and famine.
That blood that withstood battle in the past, that conquered and killed, that dominated and destroyed, runs through your veins.
Being weak and fat are unnatural human conditions.
Being a victim is no way for a man to live.
Rise and do the work of a man. Rise and work without complaint. Rise and dominate the few moments you have while you’re here.
Let others rest, soften, weaken. Let them think they’re enjoying life, that they’re living in the moment, and know that moments are not merely to be enjoyed, but to be won.
Never give in. Be a Barbarian.
Every man needs to possess the ability to do what he needs to do, when he needs to do it, whether he feels like it or not.
In the same manner, if a man simply does what he intends to do, he will be successful beyond his wildest dreams.
That’s the essence of what an iron will is.
More than talent, luck, fortune, or ‘blessings’, an iron will or a lack of one will determine how well you live in the form of success, happiness, meaning, and even power.
You’re powerless if you see yourself as a victim, and powerful if you see the truth; that you can overcome anything put in front of you.
This isn’t motivational nonsense, but fact, and it’s been proven in nearly every case of achievement (likely actually in every case).
An iron will makes success inevitable, because no obstacle will stand for too long, no failure will last, no down period will endure longer than you will.
Call it by whatever name you want, success, achievement, happiness, freedom, men need power.
We get power by being powerful.
An iron will won’t make your life easier. Life is not easy. Man, there’s just horrible things that happen, things that you never expected to happen. That’s life.
I’m with you in this. They happen to us all. They aren’t fair, but they are, and we can’t label them or paint them with the vail of emotion because that does no good.
An iron will is deciding to be indestructible, persistent, driven, and successful, and there are things you can do to make this possible.
Even if you feel weak, down, out of control, like a weed being tossed around by the ocean’s waves, you can develop an iron will.
To start, buy An Iron Will, by Orison Swett Marden.
Second, understand that greatness, be it modern or historic, has always been a matter of doing what you must, regardless of how you feel.
99.9999% of the humans on this planet do not do this. They rationalize inaction, rest, TV, and so on. It’s really simple, but it’s difficult to create the habit, as I’m sure you know.
How to Develop an Iron Will…
1. Do fewer things.
Do things once. Most worry about things, do them, then worry about them afterward. Just do the thing. Don’t worry about anything, just do the task, then move to the next thing.
2. Determine what you need to stop doing.
Remove the unnecessary from your life.
3. Be focused, intentioned, obsessed.
This doesn’t mean you have to do one thing and not live your life. But, you do have to put the vast majority of your energy into one thing. Buffett and Gates both said their ability to focus was the reason for their success.
Whatever you want in life takes energy. Focus on the right things, don’t give attention to the wrong things.
4. Get stronger from challenges.
The wind extinguishes a candle but fuels a fire. Challenges are that wind. Step up to them and use them. Also, read Antifragile by Nicolas Nassim Taleb. Don’t be fragile, be antifragile.
My own personal way to develop an iron will…
This is more stoic, but when I think about the totality of it all, of life, and when I lay out expectations for how it will go, should go, or even how I want it to go while I’m in the midst of tragedy, can be overwhelming.
Let’s say you expected to be married and with kids, and you go through a break up, or you expected to have a certain house while you’re struggling to pay the mortgage on the one you own.
Those expectations are not your reality, and to focus on them is detrimental at the moment.
Don’t expect things to go a certain way, just do the best with what you have and with where you are.
You have to focus on the moment and the work that has to be done now, regardless of how you feel.
Daydreaming and wishing things were different will send you crashing down, while removing those expectations and simply doing the work will lead you to success.
In theory it’s an easy choice, but to actually put it into practice is difficult, but it can be done.
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