What’s the harm? No one gets hurt. You get to rub one off and the release of endorphins that comes with it. You get to watch a lady with big boobs and a big bum. What’s more manly than that?
That’s the argument for. It essentially feels good so what feels good must be good.
That can be a psychotic way of looking at things.
There are times when stealing, robbing, beating a human up after they cut you off would feel good, but it is not good.
What follows is not a moral argument, but a selfish one (except for the last point).
This is all about YOU.
Is watching porn good for YOU?
No, it isn’t.
If you want a life of success, you should not watch porn. If you want a good marriage, don’t watch porn. If you want a healthy mind and soul, don’t watch porn. But, again, it ain’t a moral argument, it’s a matter of being at your best.
Being at your best will give you your best life, one filled with meaning and purpose, money, power, respect.
Here we go…
It’s easy (easy isn’t good).
The easy way isn’t the most efficient way. Efficiency is ideal, but this isn’t efficient because it degrades your actual desires for REAL sex (more later).
Easy is for boys. Porn isn’t for a man (nor is it for boys who one day want to be men).
Men take the good route, the hard route, the one that demands something of them because where there is demand there’s improvement.
It requires nothing from you.
There’s no self-development in watching porn and getting the feeling of the visual without the physical.
Being a good enough man that a great lady will want you to bed her, takes work, it takes work on yourself.
Rejection is GREAT!
When a good lady rejects you, she’s either playing a game, or she wants more from you, she wants you to be better than you are, which is awesome. To become better, that’s what we all need.
Not to mention the relationship aspect that real sex requires. You have to become a better man to get a better lady.
Don’t settle, ever.
Porn curbs your desire for natural, real sex over time.
It’s like a drug. The more you watch the weirder the shit you need – or the more powerful of a visual stimulant you need – to get off.
When you first take a drug, let’s say alcohol, one or two can get you tipsy. You lose your inhibitions quickly. Over time you need more and more to create that effect.
However, just like alcohol, you can bring yourself back to that original state if you avoid the drug all-together.
What man would want to watch other humans doing it when he could go it?
It’s weird. See yourself from above, sitting at a computer watching others do it. It’s WEIRD. It’s a product of our society where we watch others not only have sex, but live the life we want to live.
Get off it. Start living a REAL life, doing the REAL thing.
It robs you of sexual transmutation.
Have you ever read Napoleon Hills, Think and Grow Rich? It’s a great book, one of the first and best self-help books ever written.
He talks about sexual energy, it’s powerful. Sexual energy can be built up, pent up, and pointed toward your work and self-improvement.
Ever ‘finish’ watching porn and feel low energy? Feel like not doing anything? Maybe even feel a little gross or depressed?
You’ve robbed yourself of energy that could have been put toward something of actual value.
Watching porn diminishes your manhood, and your testosterone.
“No man is free who is not master of himself.” Epictetus
Do you really have control over your watching of porn? If you don’t, you are not free. You’re a slave to the desire.
No man is a man who is not free.
On top of that, it lowers testosterone.
Study:
According to a study published in the “Journal of Zhejiang University,” ejaculation may set off a subtle hormonal cycle. Ejaculation that is followed by 6 days of abstinence may contribute to peak testosterone levels on the seventh day of after ejaculation. The Zhejiang University researchers discovered that abstaining from ejaculation for 6 days after orgasm has little effect on testosterone levels, but testosterone levels reached approximately 146 percent on the seventh day.
Another study:
This current study examined the effect of a 3-week period of sexual abstinence on the neuroendocrine response to masturbation-induced orgasm. Hormonal and cardiovascular parameters were examined in ten healthy adult men during sexual arousal and masturbation-induced orgasm. Blood was drawn continuously and cardiovascular parameters were constantly monitored. This procedure was conducted for each participant twice, both before and after a 3-week period of sexual abstinence. Plasma was subsequently analysed for concentrations of adrenaline, noradrenaline, cortisol, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and testosterone concentrations. Orgasm increased blood pressure, heart rate, plasma catecholamines and prolactin. These effects were observed both before and after sexual abstinence. In contrast, although plasma testosterone was unaltered by orgasm, higher testosterone concentrations were observed following the period of abstinence.These data demonstrate that acute abstinence does not change the neuroendocrine response to orgasm but does produce elevated levels of testosterone in males.
The more you watch porn the less you’ll want to do it with your lady. You’re robbing her of your manhood, of something spiritual between a husband and wife, and an important part of a good marriage.
Is there an active attack on your testosterone levels and on your manhood? There most definitely is one socially, as men are taught from a young age to be soft, emotional, more passive, less aggressive, and less dangerous by a soft, extremely feminine and left-leaning education system.
There’s also the rise of identity politics, where victimhood is prized and applauded and the honorable virtues of manhood, competition, aggression, dominance, self-reliance, and winning, are condemned.
But is there an attack on our hormones, those building blocks of manhood that make men, men? The main hormone is testosterone, it’s responsible for our increased muscle mass in comparison to our wonderful female counterparts, as well as our body hair, aptitude to take more risk, and even aggression, you know, the things that serve us well when we’re standing at the city gates or our doorstep keeping those who are inside safe and ignorant of the battles being waged on the periphery.
Something is making men produce lower testosterone levels, and it doesn’t appear to be an increasingly sedentary lifestyle, though it’s a factor, that can explain the massive decline found in a Massachusetts Male Aging Study where they found an age-independent decrease in male testosterone levels of about 1.3% each year, with the total testosterone levels of an average male independent of his age in 2004 were found to be 17% lower than those of an average man who was the same age in 1987.
This steep decline in manhood, in the hormone that makes men, men, is absolutely shocking and has to be seen as an epidemic, though it’s not being given nearly enough attention.
Why You Need High Testosterone Levels
From a young age young men, otherwise known as boys, display very different ways of entertaining themselves. We like battle. We like guns. We like danger and adventure.
Boys don’t like tea or talking on the phone about emotional issues, we prefer to be outside always nearly injuring ourselves in the pursuit of something that feeds our soul, makes us feel alive, and makes us feel like men.
Testosterone both helps us be better at being men, and it acts as a reward system for being better at being a man.
You get a boost in testosterone when you compete, another increase when you win. You get increases in the short term and in the long term from working out with heavy weights. You get an increase in testosterone from having sex. You also see in increase in testosterone when you make money.
High testosterone also helps you burn more fat by recruiting more fat as a fuel source, repair muscle tissue, helping you build more muscle, and it greatly impacts your libido and sex drive. High testosterone also reduces your likelihood of experiencing depression, certain cancers, and heart disease.
Men are better when their testosterone levels are high. Society is better when our men have high testosterone levels.
Yet, this important hormone is on the decline in men. In this article we’ll look at the society-wide factors, not just the individual ones like poor diet, inactivity, incorrect training that we’ve already covered at length on this website.
FACT: Your Grandfather’s Testosterone Levels Were Double Yours
At the aforementioned 1.3% decline in testosterone, my grandfather’s testosterone levels at my age would be 74% higher than mine.
What has led to this? What are the factors in our society that have dramatically degraded male testosterone levels across society and age?
We’ll go through them, from a real desire to effeminate men, to innovations that are having a negative effect on our hormones.
Radiation
If you look at the two main culprits (your laptop and cell phones, but mainly cell phones), our testosterone levels have nearly halved since they became popular.
From a correlational standpoint, this deserves a ton of attention. Cell phones become popular, testosterone levels in men plummet.
But is it causational or is the cause, the increasingly sedentary life we live as a result of technology more the culprit of this decline, or something else all together?
There is evidence that testosterone levels plummet when exposed to radiation, and that sperm count does the same.
From faradays.co — a company that’s created a boxer that limits radiation exposure to the testicals (just bought my first pair) — this image shows the correlation between an increase in both cell phone use and the power of the airwaves used to transmit data, and the decline of both sperm count and testosterone levels in men.
Again, causation, or mere chance that the two would align so dramatically?
When it comes to sperm count, radiation definitely has an effect.
In this study, cancer patients saw a 35% reduction in testosterone after treatment.
The radiation from cell phones and laptops is particularly concerning. Radiation emitted from laptops can be measured using a device called a gaus meter, with the 0.3 milligauss level being considered safe, and many laptops have readings higher than 200 milligauss level.
Don’t rest your laptop on your nuts, where the majority of your testosterone levels are produced and all of your sperm resides.
In this study 32 healthy men with normal semen levels gave a sperm sample that was then divided into two equal portions (A and B).
“Portions A of all involved men were placed for 5 hours in a thermostat, and portions B were placed into a second thermostat for the same period of time, where a mobile phone in standby/talk mode was placed. After 5 hours of incubation the sperm samples from both thermostats were re–evaluated regarding basic motility parameters. The presence of DNA fragmentation in both A and B portions of each sample was determined each hour using a standard sperm chromatin dispersion test.
The number of spermatozoa with progressive movement in the group, influenced by electromagnetic radiation, is statistically lower than the number of spermatozoa with progressive movement in the group under no effect of the mobile phone. The number of non–progressive movement spermatozoa was significantly higher in the group, which was influenced by cell phone radiation. The DNA fragmentation was also significantly higher in this group.”
Electromagnetic Fields
“A study from Zhejiang University compared 77 men who work at a power plant that generates electricity with 77 controls with low occupational exposure to electromagnetic fields.
The power-plant workers, compared to the controls, had statistically significantly lower levels of testosterone (β = −0.3 nmol/L; p = 0.015), testosterone-to-estradiol ratio (β = −15.6; p = 0.037), and NF-κB (β = −20.8 ng/L; p = 0.045).
From this article on MDMag.com: “The researchers then analyzed how each of the power plant workers used electronic devices in private life, and they found still more evidence of the effects of electromagnetic fields. Higher mobile phone fees, more years of mobile phone usage, and higher home electric bills were all found to have significant effects on testosterone levels and testosterone-to-estradiol ratios.”
The thing that hasn’t been studied is the effects of radiation in general, as it increasingly surrounds us on a daily basis. I’m on my desktop as I write this, with my cell phone a few feet away, and a couple more feed away from that, my wireless modem or whatever they call those things.
As the technology gets stronger and our use increases is this decline in both testosterone levels in men and overall sperm counts going to continue to fall?
Is removing ourselves from technology all-together going to be the solution that will bring back our manhood?
While radiation and electromagnetic fields are a concern, chemicals seem to be an even greater concern as many of the chemicals we use, touch, clothe ourselves, lather ourselves with, and even consume on a daily basis have been conclusively shown to increase estrogen in men, which is one of testosterone’s arch enemies.
The Biggest Culprit is Likely Chemicals
We’ve become not only dependent on, but surrounded by and filled up with chemicals that lower testosterone and increase estrogen in men.
These chemicals that increase estrogen levels in men are found everywhere, including:
In the pesticides used on fruits and vegetables
Deodorants
Shampoo
Cologne
Sunscreen
Cleaning products
And plastics.
We have plastics in our clothing, we brush our teeth with plastic bristles and brushes, with toothpaste filled with chemicals that increase estrogen. We lather ourselves with deodorants so we don’t stink, and shampoos, and soap.
The good news is that for most things there’s now a natural alternative – thanks to capitalism doing its thing. The problem is that most people don’t know what to look out for.
Being that these chemical estrogens are everywhere, in our food, on our food, genetically integrated into our food, and so on, it’s tough to rid them completely from our lives, but we can come relatively close.
A few steps to take:
Never carry or heat food in plastic, always use glass or metal.
Buy your produce from a farmer you know, a farmer’s market that actually doesn’t use pesticides, or buy organic. The problem, not all ‘organic’ is actually organic and devoid of chemical estrogens, and the fastest growing sector in organic produce is coming from the shady land of China. If you can grow your own, with good seeds, do it, otherwise, just do your best and don’t worry about this too much.
Buy good clothing that’s made out of cotton or real materials, not polyester (common in workout clothing).
Buy natural deodorant, shampoo, soap, and toothpaste. There are options for all of this very readily available today.
Filter your water with a carbon filter.
For the full list of chemicals that increase estrogen levels in men, check out this article.
The more you can move away from the chemicals that we’ve adopted more and more, and from the radiation that’s a relatively new addition and coincides with this decline in testosterone we’re seeing across all ages in men in the West, especially, the greater chance you have to create the high testosterone levels you need to live at your best.
There are other factors, of course.
You need to cut body fat, get in shape, eat the right foods, and lower your stress levels (bad stress, not the stress of improvement and achievement), all of which is covered in my book, The Man Diet, you can get a FREE copy delivered to you here.
The Fall of Manhood
From the journal Human Reproduction Update:
“Researchers – from Israel, the US, Denmark, Brazil and Spain – said total sperm count had fallen by 59.3 per cent between 1971 and 2011 in Europe, North America, Australia and New Zealand. Sperm concentration fell by 52.4 per cent.”
“Sperm count and other semen parameters have been plausibly associated with multiple environmental influences, including endocrine disrupting chemicals, pesticides, heat and lifestyle factors, including diet, stress, smoking and body-mass index… Therefore, sperm count may sensitively reflect the impacts of the modern environment on male health throughout the life course.”
Researchers all over the world are waking up to the fact that sperm count and testosterone levels are declining, yet they’re not fully certain as to what the cause of the decline is. It’s likely a number of factors.
That is, modern life is detrimental to male sperm counts. That is, modern society is detrimental to male sperm counts. Thus, men have to de-modernize, we have to do the non-modern.
What’s ‘modern’? Being surrounded by plastics and chemicals that lower our testosterone levels. Sitting inside all day. Watching TV. Worrying about things that don’t need to be worried about. Whining and complaining. Spending more time on our butt than on our feet. Spending more time inside, with central heating and the ease that is modern life.
The fall of manhood, this decline is sperm count, in testosterone, in the manly virtues that made western nations so great, so free for everyone, so powerful, and so opportunistic, are failing and falling because we’re living in a way that is not human.
Live Like a Man
To ask an alpha male chimpanzee to not aim to be the alpha is asking him to be something that is not in his nature. To live a sedated, easy life, is to ask men to do something that is not in their nature.
Being fat is not a natural state for a human, especially a human male. You just didn’t get fat 10,000 years ago. It was impossible. Other men wouldn’t go out and hunt so you could sit there gorging yourself. To eat, as a man, you had to hunt.
The chemicals, the pesticides, the cleaning products, the radiation, all of this goes against our nature. To not compete, to not adventure, to not dare, goes against the masculine soul, and our bodies, our societies suffer by us not living manfully.
So, get off your ass.
Get outside.
Lift heavy things, push your body.
Surround yourself with natural things as best you can.
Eat animals, lots of them. Saturated fats are vital for testosterone levels, as are the non-pesticide latent fruits, potatoes, and carbs that help you lower cortisol.
Let’s reclaim our manhood even while our modern society aims to crush it.
Being a man often boils down to doing what you don’t feel like doing.
It’s staying calm when you want to rage.
Being modest when you want to brag.
It’s fighting when you want to flee, struggling when you want rest.
Being a man is working hard when you feel lazy, working out when you’re tired and shite.
It’s doing good for others when you want to be selfish, and drinking one beer when you’d rather have 15.
It’s working late when you’d rather sleep, pulling yourself up when you’d rather quit.
It’s being appreciative when you’d rather complain and being happy when you’d rather brood.
Being a man is being stoic when you’d rather be emotional.
It’s choosing to react as a man rather than giving your feelings power over your actions.
It’s giving when you’d rather take, serving when you’d rather receive, guiding when it would be easier to follow.
Men take on more, when it would be easier to shed responsibility, and they do it without complaint.
“Woe is me” isn’t in their vocabulary, but if it’s in yours a man will help.
Manhood is a duty, a vigorous one, a never-ending quest of improvement and caretaking, of providing and protecting and becoming better at providing and more adept at protecting.
Being a man is not easy, thus if the easy life is your only aim, manhood is not something you will ever claim.
Being a man is an ideal, something we earn over time, through effort and struggle, trial and error, failure, success, and living with honor. It isn’t an age you turn, it’s a calling.
I’m sitting at my desk when I receive a text from my old man’s best pal. It’s an article entitled, ‘Traditional masculinity‘ causes ‘homophobia’, ‘bullying’: Report, in the Toronto Star.
This is too far, is my response as I glance over an article that essentially says that what men are genetically programmed to be, what men have achieved, the achievements that have led to the highest quality of life in our history as humans, is bad. The article is in response to a new report from the American Psychological Association (APA) that says traditional masculinity is wrong.
Only the Strong Survive
Fact: we’re here today because of men with traditional masculine values. If they didn’t have them, they’d die. If we don’t have them, we lose, and our family suffers, as does our society.
That said, let’s hear this group of quacks out with an open mind.
What are the harmful aspects of traditional masculinity?
Let’s first highlight some facts. It’s better to be strong than it is to be weak. It’s better to be tough than it is to be soft. If you’re weak and soft you’re going to quit, fail, you won’t be able to support your family, you don’t be able to compete against adverseries who are tough and strong, and you won’t be happy.
So what does the organization say are the harmful aspects of masculinity?
“The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity – marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression – is, on the whole, harmful.”
This displays the laughable idiocy of organizations like the APA. They list four incredibly important and beneficial attributes that serve anyone, let alone men trying to make it in the world, trying to better the world, trying to protect and provide for their family.
Stoicism is the ability to understand that the event doesn’t matter so much as our reaction to it. Being a stoic is choosing to focus on what we can control over what we can’t. It’s quite literally the proper way to live, so as to not be a victim, to be able to do the best with where you are and what you have.
Competitiveness has resulted in every major and minor evolution in our species, in technology, and as a society. Without competitiveness we’d still be hunting with our hands. Without competitiveness, people don’t want to improve their life, and a life that isn’t improved isn’t really a life, it’s an existence, and acceptance that you have no control over anything. Life without competition is simply hell.
Dominanceisn’t really a masculine trait, especially not a traditional masculine trait. For thousands of years a man’s primary goal was to protect his family, provide for his family, and build his family. Family always came first. To dominate them wasn’t his objective. Even men who craved power, they simply craved power, it wasn’t the domination of others, it was fulfilling what they saw as their reason for being here. And this was only a very minute few. The Roman Definition for Masculinity is excellence in all things – that’s as traditional as you can get, Ancient Rome, how is striving for excellence in all things bad?
Aggression is a beautiful and wildly necessary attribute. It’s the best antidote to fear you can have. Aggression can defeat a bully, it can conquer an obstacle, it can move a man forward when he would otherwise be paralyzed by fear. Fear and aggression cannot coexist, so what you’re saying is that we’re better off afraid?
Man Are Men Because of Our Balls
Quite literally, the differences between men and women are the result of testosterone. Testosterone led to changes in our brain, or physiology and physique and thus, our role. We’re typically bigger and stronger, we also can’t have babies. Thus, it has been our sole role for thousands of years to hunt and gather. We also defend.
You cannot change what and who a man is. If he’s ambitious, don’t quell it. If he’s tough, help him develop it further. If he’s weak, make him tough, because weakness – as they’ve said – isn’t a masculine trait.
More from the article, this is gold:
“Traditional masculinity ideology has been shown to limit males’ psychological development, constrain their behaviour, result in gender role strain and gender role conflict, and negatively influence mental health and physical health,” the report warns.
Among the pillars of “masculinity ideology” are “anti-femininity, achievement, eschewal of the appearance of weakness, and adventure, risk, and violence.”
Ah, the “gender role straing and gender role conflict” that masculine men go through (NONSENSE). Gender roles aren’t real. Men are men, women are women. We’re not acting, we’re not confining ourselves to a certain way to act. We act as we do because we are men, and the best thing you can tell a boy is to man up, he’ll know exactly what it means, it means to stop complaining and work harder. It means to not be a pussy and to be tough – well done! When has toughness ever harmed anyone?
Let’s also keep in mind that this is the same APA that deemed pedofilia was a ‘sexual orientation’, something they later claimed was a typo (nonsense). So they’re not exactly credible.
There is no role strain or conflict. This is something made up and very new. It’s the result of the blurring of genders and the making up of new ones to aphese confused people – and I’m not attacking people with gender dysphoria, or transgenderism, it’s just that they make up a very small part of the population, maybe 0.01% of 0.01%, so to say that men and young men have conflicts about their role is a dubious and harmful claim. You’re trying to treat the majority like they’re a minute fraction of a minority.
It’s the wrong way to deal with this.
Anti-feminity? Of course! What man would want to be feminine. Adventure, how in God’s name is that a bad pursuit? Risk? We’re more prone to risk because of our testosterone levels, it’s a very direct result of something we innately have, so to deny that we’re more aggressive, more prone to risk, and that we even enjoy violence, is to tell men and boys to be something they are not.
The APA is telling transgenders to be who they think they are, while at the same time telling men that being who they are isn’t healthy, and that they should actually turn their back on who they are and try to be more feminine.
You know what’s coming…
The attributes that the APA hate most are effects of testosterone. The limitation of testosterone is a cure to these awesome and wonderful side effects. It’s a wonder when they’re start prescribing estrogen pills to men to change their harmful behaviors.
Another quote:
“Though men benefit from patriarchy, they are also impinged upon by patriarchy,” said Ronald F. Levant, EdD, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron and co-editor of the APA volume The Psychology of Men and Masculinities.
Here’s what’s wrong with this statement from the start: There Is No Patriarchy.
Here’s a look at the most dangerous jobs in America (not including being a soldier)…
Here’s a nice stat sheet for the ‘oppressed’ and hyper sensitive women of the #metoo movement.
Yes, men, the creators of this patriarchy also actively sought out the most dangerous jobs. They’re so privilaged that they decided they’d die at a higher rate than women. Not in the graph above is the fact that men commit suicide twice as much as women, maybe more.
This is also a dangerous narative for the survival of our species. For thousands of years men and women have been working together to raise families and tribes and communities and nations. We have not bee in opposition, nor have we thought of ourselves as opponents. We literally need one another to create a family, to grow a family, and to extend the species.
Yet, organizations like the APA, whom the government – especially the schooling system – holds in high regard when it comes to making policies – DANGEROUS – wants to pit men against women, it wants to create a patriarchy that doesn’t exist.
The result, of course, will be that our boys will be taught to be women and more feminine in schools, especially public schools. All forms of masculinity will be taken out of state-funded institutions. And being straight will eventually be outlawed at this rate.
The lunacy is incredible.
A year ago I was on my lawn doing some yardwork when a woman approached me. She was doing the census. She asked if she could ask me some questions. I obliged, and the first question was, “Are you a man or woman or other?”
My heart dropped, what a ridiculous question. What a ridiculous question for her to have to ask, and I told her so. She agreed. She’d asked thousands of people that question and almost all of them had the same response, and not one of them answered the question differently than their appearance would convey. She went on to say that her son is in public school, and they now have a third washroom for the third gender that doesn’t exist.
You’re Doing More Harm Than Good, APA
I don’t think this report is aimed to help anyone. To deny people the right to be who they are, and not just who they think they are, but who they actually are, and to dency the truths about the goodness of masculinity, to paint it with a bad brush, and to pit men and women against one another, is insidenous.
There’s no attempt to do good by saying that traditional masculinity is harmful.
There is only evil.
You’re setting up policies that would create more victims. We do not need more victims. And then there’s suicide.
Women attempt suicide about twice as frequent as men do, and yet men are up to 75% more successful. The reason is that we attempt suicide by violent means, because we’re more violent. Now you may say that by making men soft, you’re going to diminish that success rate. No, because women attempt suicide far more than men, by making men act like women you’re simply going to increase their rate of attempts while at the same time removing from them the values that helped men cope with the weight of the world.
Suicide is on the rise, not on the decline. The Greatest Generation, who had to deal with the Great Depression and then the Second World War, committed suicide less than we do today. The problem isn’t that we’re too masculine, it’s that we’re not masculine enough.
Men do not need an excuse. We do not need to talk more about our feelings. We need a purpose. We need a challenge. We need to feel like men.
By getting them young and influencing their behavior – which is what I suspect an organization like this will aim to do by influencing public school policy – you’re going to create far more confusion, while also compounding an inability to deal with it.
Without the stoicism, the toughness, the grit, the ability to endure and persist, the values that are traditional masculinity, you remove a young man’s ability to cope with the brutality and toughness of life. You will increase suicide rates. You will increase the amount of men taking medication for depression. You will increase the number of men who can’t take care of their families. You will degrade an entire section of society and relagate them to the pitiful state of victimhood.
That said, you’ll also have far more patients paying you hourly fees, likely government-subsidized because this will turn into an epidemic of soft males who cannot lead industries or households and will fold under the pressure, unlike those great men of the Greatest Generation who faced far tougher obstacles.
Maybe that’s your aim.
Why You Need More Testosterone, Aggression, Competition, and Stoicism
Alright, I got all of that out. And I don’t even think I cussed.
So, the battle lines have been drawn. We can see what they’re doing, where the end goal is, or where this will lead.
They want to rid our society of the virtuous and good, the masculine values that created the first great nations in history, defended against Nazism, Communism, and Socialism, that allowed all races and religions the same opportunity, the pursuit of happiness. And I’d also add, the pursuit of wealth, success, and greatness.
While the right to this pursuit was won and created by great men and great women, and the masculine values they took to court, to the battlefield, to a new land, you will only win the pursuit with the masculine values that organizations like the APA aim to destroy.
The same goes for your sons.
While they influence government and education policy and practice, you have to be dilligent. You have to actively seek out ways to create the strong, stoic, powerful, reliable, dependable, ‘archaic’, masculine man that you are genetically hardwired to become.
For those that want to develop such virtues, we go through them in The Average to Alpha Tribe, with a course calld the Barbarian Virtues, modelled after this Theodore Roosevelt quote:
“Over-sentimentality, over-softness, in fact washiness and mushiness are the great dangers of this age and of this people. Unless we keep the barbarian virtues, gaining the civilized ones will be of little avail.”
And I’ve created a Tribe of sorts to develop them through trials, by adopting a tougher life, rather than an easier one.
If you want to be tougher, stronger, more successful, more ambitious, more dangerous, then learn more about the Average 2 Alpha Tribe HERE<
Like I mention in my book, The Man Diet (grab your free copy here), not only is your T-count decreasing generationally, meaning that you probably have less testosterone than your father did and your father has less testosterone than his father did, etc., but your testosterone levels are also decreasing as you get older – specifically when you reach 30-years old. Which is why it’s important that you don’t contribute to the decline…
If you want to keep your testosterone levels at their highest, you need to refrain from doing the following…
Here are the 30 worst things you can do for your testosterone levels after 30.
1. Watch Your Cholesterol
You’ve probably been told your entire life that you need to make sure you don’t eat too much cholesterol. After all, that was the main draw for Honey Nut Cherrios at one point in time, wasn’t it?
But when it comes to your testosterone levels, it’s essential for you to consume plenty of dietary cholesterol in the form of whole eggs, organic bacon and grass-fed beef as studies have shown there is a direct correlation between the amount of cholesterol you consume and the health of your testosterone levels.
2. Work Late
Working late probably wasn’t as destructive to your testosterone levels when you were in your early 20’s as it is when you begin to hover around the 30-year old mark.
Working late and causing your sleep to suffer is one of the top reasons why testosterone levels are low in men these days. Studies have shown a direct link between the amount of time you sleep and the amount of testosterone your body produces because, well, most of your testosterone is produced while you sleep.
Working late is one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone. Exercise some self-control and put a nightly limit on when you’ll stop working.
3. Hang Out on Your Phone
The recent rise in technology is another reason why testosterone levels are suffering, for two reasons in particular: One, you lay in bed staring at your phone, elevating your cortisol levels, and as a result you have a hard time falling asleep. Two, you spend more time on your phone playing games than you do actually living your life.
A sedentary lifestyle will kill your testosterone levels, and so will lack of sleep. Put your phone away as often as you can and live your life like a man. Your testosterone levels will thank you for it.
4. Sweat the Small Stuff
If you stress out about everything, you’ll obliterate your T-count. See, when you stress, your cortisol levels increase, which is big problem because cortisol is your testosterone’s kryptonite. When they increase, your testosterone levels decrease.
One of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels is to sweat the small stuff. So quit getting pissed off when you’re stuck in a traffic jam. Don’t let work get to you. And spend more time appreciating what you do have instead of worrying about what you don’t have.
5. Use Products with Estrogen
Our consumer-centric world is packed with products that contain estrogen or estrogen imitators in them. Everything from plastic bottles, to cologne, your shampoo, to pesticides most likely contains an endocrine disruptor that’ll throw your hormones out of whack.
Look for these names on ingredient labels and stay away from them if you want to protect your T-count: Bisphenol A (BPA), Parabens, Phthalates, Benzophenones, Triclosan and Triclocarban.
Side Note: Zinc blocks aromatase, which is a precursor to estrogen. If you want to create optimal testosterone levels, you need the right micronutrients in your diet. You can get them – and more – with the Barbarian Manhood-Multi (learn more here).
6. Drink Unfiltered Water
One of the best things you can do for your testosterone levels (among the other 29 that I covered here) is drink plenty of water…
However, one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone is gulp your gallon or two of water through the tap. Tap water is potentially filled with chemicals that can sabotage those testosterone levels that you’re trying to increase by staying hydrated.
7. Use Plastic
Speaking of how you should drink water, plastic water bottles are not your savior from the tap.
One study involving BPA (another ingredient in the making of plastic water bottles) shows a direct correlation between low testosterone and contact with BPA in general. Instead, get yourself a multiple-use BPA-free water bottle.
8. Become a Vegetarian
Your vegetarian buddy who the ladies love is actually ruining his testosterone levels, and you will too, if you join him. You simply won’t get the amino acids, cholesterol, and dietary fat that you need for optimal testosterone levels.
This study showed that a vegetarian diet can decrease testosterone levels by almost 40%.
9. Eat Soy
Sure, keep drinking your wife’s soy milk… If you want to lower your testosterone levels.
Men who consume a lot of soy have high amounts of equol present in their bloodstream. And according to a study published in Biology of Reproduction, eqoul is a strong anti-androgen that can nearly shut down the activity of dihydrotestosterone in your body, which is your strongest androgen.
When it comes to soy, the idea of “worst things you can do for your testosterone” seems like a bit of an understatement.
10. Eat Polyunsaturated Fats
Even though you want to get plenty of dietary fat into your daily feasting windows, polyunsaturated fats (PUFAs) are not the kind of fat you want.
You’ll find PUFAs in vegetable oils, sunflower seeds/oils, flaxseed and soy.
11. Restrict Your Calories
Real men don’t worry about calories!
In an astounding study which compared the testosterone levels of men who “ate clean” (between 1350-2415 calories) vs. men who ate a standard western diet, the results showed that the men “ate clean” had 31% lower testosterone levels than the guys who ate “dirty.”
Eat like a man, don’t restrict your calories.
12. Overeat
I had to add this little caveat right after telling you not to restrict your calories.
Just because counting calories is one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels, doesn’t mean that you can overeat, either.
If you’re eating good testosterone boosting foods like I have listed out for you in The Man Diet, you won’t have an urge to overeat.
Eat like a man – men don’t overeat.
13. Cut Carbs
I know that carb cutting diets are all the rage right now. But cutting carbs will kill your testosterone levels.
At least 40% of your daily caloric intake should come from carbohydrates – primarily fruits, vegetables, potatoes, beans and white rice.
14. Drink Protein Shakes
You need plenty of protein if your muscles are going to recover from your workouts and if you’re going to have optimal testosterone levels. However, you should be getting plenty of protein from whole food sources like eggs and meat.
There’s no need for you to chug 4 protein shakes a day. Double fisting protein shakes can have an adverse effect on your testosterone levels. Instead stick with beef. It’ll give you plenty of testosterone boosting fats as well.
15. Get Drunk
I’m not anti-alcohol in general. But getting drunk is one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels.
The most freaky of the alcohol studies was conducted on a male rat (rats have similar DNA structure to humans) and resulted in a 50% reduction in testicle size when 5% of the rat’s diet consisted of alcohol. Poor rat!
Don’t be like the rat. Getting drunk will shrink your T and possibly your balls, too.
16. Smoke Weed
A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, tested 20 men ages 18-28 who smoked weed at least 4 days a week for 6 months. The testosterone levels of these men were significantly lower than those in a control group (who didn’t smoke weed).
And another study showed the same result. Four healthy males were tested before and after smoking weed, and the study concluded that after puffing the magic dragon, cortisol levels rose and testosterone levels plummeted.
Sorry Colorado!
17. Watch Porn
Watching porn is one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone.
When you become addicted to it (which you will over time) you won’t be able to get hard or have sex with your lady (which actually boosts testosterone. If you want some evidence to prove that statement, check out these 39 studies on the addictive nature of pornography and its neurological effects.
Also, masturbation does nothing for your testosterone levels. The pheromone connection you have with a woman during sex does. Don’t chance it. Stay away from porn.
18. Take a Long Hot Bath
Keeping your balls in warm water for a few minutes is a great way to lower your testosterone levels. If you’ve ever stood in a warm shower for 5 minutes, you know that your balls begin to hand lower than normal. That’s because they’re trying to escape the heat.
Your balls (where your testosterone is produced) perform their best when they’re cool. So leave the warm bubble baths to your lady.
19. Sit on the Sidelines
Men were made to compete.
According to a study published in Hormones And Behavior, men’s testosterone levels increase before competition, and as an added bonus, after winning a competition. You won’t get either of those testosterone spikes if you don’t step onto the field of play… Whatever that “field” may be.
20. Chew Gum
Those Double Mint gum commercials are deceiving. Those dudes should not be chewing that gum.
Spearmint and peppermint have been shown to reduce testosterone levels, meaning that you should chewing spearmint and peppermint gum will have the same effect. Find another way to freshen your breath. Chewing gum will cost you.
21. Have Flaxseed
It seemed like the world was raving about flaxseed a short year ago. Oh that’s right, because they were.
Flaxseed contains lignans, which tend to mimic estrogen. When estrogen levels are high in men, their testosterone suffers, and the side effects of a big belly and man boobs are just around the corner. The bottom line, your wife can have flaxseed, but you need to stay away from it.
22. Use Vegetable oil
If there’s an oil you don’t want to cook in, it’s vegetable oil.
Vegetable oils are full of PUFAs, which as we discussed are testosterone killers. One of the worst things you can do for your testosterone is cook all of your meals in it, sprinkle it onto a salad or dumping it on a baked potato, thinking that you’re boosting your testosterone but really lowering it. Keep it out of the kitchen.
23. Slouch
When your dad used to tell you to walk with your chest out, he was actually giving you some tips on how to boost your T. But if you won’t listen, you put yourself at jeopardy of losing testosterone. One of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels is slouch.
Plus, it sends the message that you’re weak, insecure and closed off to the world – qualities that you don’t want to describe you as a man.
24. Run Marathons
Long distance running puts your muscles under stress for extended periods of time…
As a result, your cortisol levels shoot through the roof. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy a nice run every once in a while. I like to go for runs myself…
Just keep your 5k’s to a minimum.
25. Over-Train
You can also consider overtraining to be “under recovering.”
If you’re sacrificing a healthy amount of sleep in order to get to the gym, you’re doing it wrong. If your daily pattern is rubbing your eyes after 5 hours of sleep to get to the gym, you need to adjust your schedule so that you get more sleep at night and allow your muscles to recover.
26. Drink a Ton of Caffeine
Like I cover in my book, The Man Diet (grab your free copy here), drinking coffee is one of the best things you can do for your testosterone levels.
But drinking too much caffeine can stunt your T-count. Luckily, we have a lot of breathing room here. Cut your coffee to a few cups a day and you won’t have anything to worry about.
27. Get Dehydrated
According to studies, the more dehydrated you are, the higher your cortisol levels will be.
So if you aren’t constantly gulping down water, you put yourself at risk of low T. Drink water from a filter and through a BPA-free water bottle.
28. Pour on Cologne
Cologne contains phthalates, a chemical compound that is oftentimes unlisted in the ingredient label (because it isn’t required by the FDA) but is dangerous for your testosterone health.
Researchers have found this ingredient to be damaging to your sperm count and testosterone levels. In other words, every time you spritz on a little cologne (or dump in on depending on the kind of guy you are), your manliness shrivels up.
Deodorant will do just fine for you.
29. Rush to Work
Jumping out of bed and dashing off to work in a wild frenzy will cause your cortisol levels to spike and your testosterone levels to drop… Which isn’t a way to start off your morning.
Give yourself some time to wake up, journal, and have a cup of coffee before work. Anything comparable to a “morning rush” will sabotage your T for the day.
30. Don’t Do Anything
Hands down, one of the worst things you can do for your testosterone levels is to do nothing at all.
The increasing attractiveness of desk jobs and Netflix has begun to make men less active. As a result, out testosterone levels are dropping more and more from generation to generation. It’s going to take some activity, but we need to climb our way out of this mess before “manliness” looks more like drinking frappes at a local coffee shop than it does working hard, providing for our families, working with our hands, chasing adventure, and loving hard.
Next Step
Alright fellas, the ball’s in your court.
You know the 30 worst things you can do for your testosterone. So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to keep doing those things that are making you less of a man? Or are you going to turn the tide for the sake of your T?
Don’t forget to pick up your copy of my book, The Man Diet.
It’s got everything you need to make every day one that’s optimal for your testosterone.
It is a fact that we are getting weaker and weaker as men. The military strength standards prove it.
50 years ago, the standard that it took for men to join the army would put our men to shame.
It can be said that it’s because of taking out gym class in schools, or how most jobs now are computer-based jobs instead of working with our hands or the decreasing testosterone in our generation.
Either way, we are getting weaker and its a problem.
Not only does it pose a problem for our society, its a physical problem for you as well. Weak individuals have low testosterone, lower bone density (think more bone breaks), and more back pain. It also means that you’re going to have less muscle mass as well.
In untrained individuals, meaning people who didn’t strength train, your strength and muscle mass starts to decline by 1 % every year after the age of 30. Starting with a high amount of muscle and strength will increase your quality of life not only at age 29 but also at age 85 as well.
With all that in mind, men these days need a strength standard. Something to aim for.
Instead of pissing around with useless exercises on machines and cardio devices, these exercises look like stuff your grandpa did on the farm.
Not only will these give you a strong direction for your training, You’re going to look freaking good if you achieve these strength standards.
You’re going to be lean, have a defined back, shoulders and chest, and a lower body that is strong, powerful, and free of injuries.
These aren’t meant to be absolute strength numbers. They are meant as a guide that when you can do this, you’re a capable strong man.
You might see this as a kick in the pants. If so, that’s good. Most of us need a good kick square in the behind to help us become the men we were created to be. So strap up, put on your big boy pants and time to get to work.
Strength Standard 1: 5 Pull-ups
The pull-up has been one of the military strength standards for centuries, and it’s not going to stop being a standard with us. Not only do you develop your upper back through this exercise (which is woefully underdeveloped in modern workout programs), but it also guarantees you aren’t overweight. See, if you’re carrying around too much body fat, you won’t be able to do great pull-ups. You might be able to squeeze out 1 or two, but not 5 in a row.
This shows that you own your bodyweight. You might be like many guys who feel like their body is out of their control. Even though you can keep every other area of your life under control your body always evades your grasp. This exercise is very obvious if you’re in control of your body or not.
5 pull-ups Guarantees that what you did wasn’t just a fluke.
Strength Standard 2: Dumbbell or Kettlebell Press ¼ your bodyweight for 5 reps
How many guys in the gym do you hear or see that have shoulder pain or shoulder injury?
Like the kind of pain that causes you to completely modify an exercise so it doesn’t cause any further pain.
I’d be willing to bet that 75% of dudes at a random gym have some sort of shoulder injury.
This is unacceptable.
Your shoulder is one of the most versatile, moveable, mobile joints in the world and guys treat them like they’re a fisher price toy.
They deserve the strength that they can handle. And that means getting the ability to go overhead with them again.
You might have limited range of motion when lifting over your head, and that’s to be expected.
Most guys are lacking a lot of mobility in their thoracic spine, the entire muscular system that connects to the shoulder. If this is lacking, the glenohumeral joint (the shoulder socket) takes the brunt of the force.
When you do this exercise well, it guarantees you won’t have any issues going overhead because you CAN’T.
Having full shoulder flexion is not only essential, but you’re not going to be able to do very well without it.
By doing this for 5 reps, IT demonstrates that you have adequate shoulder stability and endurance.
It ensures you go into the proper position, and are able to stay there.
Strength Standard 3: Farmer Carry for 100ft with 1.5 bodyweight
As humans, one of the things that makes us distinctly human is our ability to carry things long distances.
Carries are underrated, but one of the greatest bang for your buck exercises available. They develop a strong upper back, forearms that rival your dad’s, stable hips, and a core that doesn’t move. AKA you’ll get rock solid abs.
If you have struggled with lower back pain this exercise is for you. The core has to work overtime trying to balance and not let you keel over while carrying this massive weight.
I’ve personally seen the positive effects of this exercise. When I was struggling with lower back pain on the right side of my back in the winter of 2017, I started doing Carries consistently. Within a few weeks, my lower back pain had subsided, and I was stronger than ever.
Carrying weight is all fun and good. They have a very real life application as well.
Your grip strength is a very strong indicator of your life expectancy.
In this study, they showed that Grip strength was the best indicator of life expectancy and mortality rate.
No better way to improve your grip strength than by carrying heavy objects for long distances.
Strength Standard 4: Barbell reverse lunge with Body weight for 5 reps
This lower body strength test does not include a squat. And that’s because a squat often becomes a test of lower back and core strength, not leg strength.
Not saying that’s a bad thing, but we want a test that determines leg strength independent from your back, and one another.
In life, there are so many times you are doing things that require strength from one leg.
Bending down to play with your son.
Hiking a mountain with your girlfriend.
Walking your local golf course with your buddies on Saturday morning.
Lunges not only build leg strength, but they make sure that you have equal leg strength. In a squat, it’s easy for your dominant leg to take over from what your non-dominant leg.
With a lunge, there is no hiding. If your leg isn’t strong enough, it isn’t strong enough.
Lunges also develop hip stability, which also aids in decreasing knee and back pain, and making you an absolute boss.
These suckers are essential to lower body training and testing.
After reading this list, you might be thinking,
“So. Where do I go from here?”
There are either two options.
You rocked this test. You passed all of these with flying colors. You’re a strong dude. If this is you, then keep doing whatever you’re doing, because obviously, it’s working. Keep getting stronger, and becoming the man you were created to be.
You missed the mark on this test, and decide to do nothing. You feel that this is a useless test, and decide not to do anything at all. You keep banging your head into the wall with your training, and you get weaker, more in pain, and fatter.
You missed the mark on this test, BUT you do something about it. Maybe your shoulders aren’t able to press up the kettlebell. Maybe you laugh at me when I suggest the farmer walk. Pull-ups might not have been your jam.
If you weren’t 1, you have some work to do.
It might mean spending time working on your weaknesses.
You might hire an online coach to help you get better and stronger.
You decide to adjust your diet to make these tests a little easier.
Either way, if you failed on these tests now, it doesn’t mean that in 3 months time you’ll do the same thing.
Focus on building your strengths, and also bringing your weaknesses so that there is no area of strength that you can’t master.
Linden Ellefson is a personal trainer and online coach out of Calgary, Canada. He helps 30-40 year old get leaner, more athletic and in better shape than they were in college.
Thoreau said, Most men lead a life of quiet desperation.
I remember when I was there. I was waking up every morning, eating horrible foods, working away at a job that I knew I had no future in.
I was wandering, lost, not in any way living a story worth reading.
Average is the enemy of every man on this planet, and it’s an enemy that almost none of us will defeat.
In fact, we’re actually becoming biologically more average than we’ve ever been. The average guy today has 20% less testosterone than a guy at his same age only a decade ago.
When I was wandering, I was a shell of what I could be and thank God I had the wherewithal to understand that my hormones could have something to do with this steady state of quiet desperation.
Testosterone is much more than just a fat loss or muscle building hormone, it’s at the core of what makes you a man.
You get a surge in testosterone when you compete, another when you win, another when you make a bunch of money.
Testosterone acts like a hormonal reward system, rewarding the winners and punishing the losers.
To be the man you first have to act like the man, and your hormones will reward you for doing so.
Stay soft and sedated, and you’ll experience atrophy, regression, you’ll become something, someone smaller and more insignificant than you were created to become.
Act ambitiously, audaciously, and you’ll grow and evolve.
When I was in this state of average I found out that my hormones were low, that I was in the low end for my age, and while I was told I can take shots, I instead sought ways to force my body into creating more of this powerful hormone by changing how I acted, what I ate, and even how I trained.
While the vast majority of literature I read pushed a pill, potion, or powder, I saw the truth, that the optimal diet for testosterone is simple…
2 meals and a shake. One carbs meal, one fats meal, both meals contain protein.
I saw that men actually need a balanced diet, as carbs help lower cortisol and fats help us produce testosterone, and protein helps us maintain low body fat.
I saw that how I was living was ‘low T’ in itself.
I had finished boxing, so I was no longer competing. I was working a job that really didn’t push me. For the first time I lost the ambition that I’d had my entire life.
So, I changed what I could control.
I fixed my diet. Focused on strength training. And I started acting as the guy I wanted to become.
I started a business that helped other guys fix their training and nutrition and lifestyle issues as well.
My ‘turn’ wasn’t found in a program, but in research, in trial and error, and now, in the Man Diet.
Too many men are living lives of quiet desperation.
They’re living beneath what they’re capable of and this massive decline in testosterone is being almost entirely overlooked by the mainstream.
Certain things act as a foundation from which we can build upon and propell from, being a healthy, optimal ELITE man with ELITE testosterone levels is one of them.
We’ll cover other methods and ways to escape average in the coming weeks, but if you haven’t yet, ensure that you get your free copy of the Man Diet here.
I’m working my way through Tim Grover’s, Relentless, right now.
Tim is Michael Jordan’s strength coach, and Kobe Bryant’s. He’s spent a lot of time around guys who are killers, winners on another level, they’re beyond competitive.
It’s a great book, one that dives into the darkness of victory, the instinct of it.
Instinct is something many of us have lost. We were born with instincts. I remember being a kid, wanting to beat anyone and everyone at anything.
I’d fight all the time. I loved it. Slowly, however, we all confuse being good with being nice. We see this desire to kill, to do
minate, to hunt, as bad, and we soften it, let it go in an attempt to civilize.
You cannot ever become fully civilized if you want victory. Something within you has to remain true to those instincts and sometimes advice can cloud that inner voice, that ‘gut feeling’ that a man should always listen to first.
While I’m a guy who gives advice, who shows guys how to eat, train and become more disciplined, the advice is something you have to watch out for. Too much of it can lead you to live someone else’s life and lose those instincts that we all need to thrive.
So take advice from people who actually have your best interests in mind, but don’t take advice from everyone. Don’t seek advice from everyone either.
Years ago I stopped seeking so much damn advice and started doing my thing, whether it was business or life, and it’s helped me live life on my terms and build a business on my terms.
Listen, who do we admire, the man in a crowd, one of many, or the original, the man who stands on his own, who leads, who goes his own way?
We’re a tribe here, but no man can lose his ability to listen to his gut, to thrive off instinct rather than advice.
My dog, Teddy, doesn’t for a second think about chasing a deer, he just does it, and it’s nearly impossible to hold him back.
A lion doesn’t think about killing, that’s just what lions do.
Men should spend less time thinking about doing what they know deep down they need to do, and just do it.
When you have a decision to make, make it, follow the first thing that came to your mind and deal with the consequences later.
If you’re wrong, pivot, and fix the mistake, but stop living the safe life, the life led by the advice of others, where the tough decisions of your life can be pawned off on someone else so that, in part, they can share the blame if it’s the wrong decision.
Be decisive.
Trust your gut.
It takes confidence to trust your gut. And if you don’t have confidence, and you want to develop it, start there.
Start by making fast and firm decisions, then follow through on them.
Be the lion, do as lions do. React, forget if everything is perfect. Forget about thinking about every scenario and outcome.
In 1911, three men set out on the adventure of a lifetime. They wanted to trek the unknown territory of Antarctica and link it with other known portions of the desolate continent.
The three men were ages 33, 30, and 29 respectively. They were ambitious, strong, courageous, and unwaveringly committed in their endeavor, so much so that two of them died along the way and one barely made it out alive. He was all alone on the ice.
This is a far cry from the 30 year olds that walk in our midst today.
Instead, they have traded their ambition for something far less virtuous.
Men have become soft, emasculated, and lazy.
This is due in part to real men having become reclusive and passive, and our culture becoming impervious to masculinity.
Look around and you will see that men are more concerned about the pants that they wear and the way their hair looks than how to make ambitious goals, and pursue their dreams. They have become afraid of their own shadow and doomed themselves to a life of mediocrity.
Chances are, that if you are reading this, then you go against the status quo, that you as a man have found yourself on the other side of society. You have been called “rough around the edges” or “insensitive”.
Take this as a compliment
Unfortunately, our culture has deemed men who are passive, and relinquish their manhood virtuous, and esteemed.
What men really need is self-awareness, mastery, and other men to learn from.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” – Proverbs 27:17
Men need to pursue mastery and be in constant pursuit of huge ambitious goals. They must constantly challenge themselves and push themselves to learn new skills and to grow in strength, endurance and mindset.
These things can only be developed if they are done with discipline and consistency.
The Lost Virtues of a Man
Strength
Men need to have some sort of consistent physical activity that they do, whether it’s lifting weights, martial arts, running, swimming, biking or a combination of all of them.
When men don’t do this, they get fat, injured, or have health issues. Don’t believe me, look around.
They also need to have a why, a reason for existing. They need to know their why, so that they can work in their Strengths and become who they are made to be.
Socrates said it best: “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
If you are not pushing your limits or putting your body under deliberate physical stress every day, you are denying your very essence.
Men need to know what they are capable of. When you lift weights, move heavy objects, destroy your goals and win, then you become confident and more alpha minded.
Lifting weights just to lift weights is not enough. You have to train. Life is going to come at you from all angles and you need to be prepared to handle whatever it throws at you. The more you exercise your body and your mind and put it under good, deliberate stress, the easier the problems will seem.
Learn how to do heavy Lifts like the Deadlift, Squat, and Olympic Lifts. Get a trainer, or go to a fundamentals class to learn these lifts. Proper form is key.
Mindset
Men don’t play the victim. They take ownership.
Your mind will tell you that you can’t do something. You have to be able to tell it to shut up.
You have to build your mind by repeating positive habits. There are two very important ways that this can be done.
Lift Weights and Exercise: Lifting weights boosts testosterone, builds confidence, and leaves you with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction long after the workout. I quote Jocko Willink “If you want to improve mental toughness, try this: BE TOUGHER“
Read Good Books: You have to read books that set your dreams on fire, and grow your library of manly books .If the only time a man is getting information is from Social media, Netflix or the TV, then he must just like being useless. Every great man in history was a reader, Marcus Aurelius, Themistocles, Teddy Roosevelt, Solomon, and many more.
I’m not talking about hippie yoga crap. I’m talking about shutting up and listening to what is going on around you. Take five minutes every day to sit, breathe deeply and remain quiet. Focus on who you want to be, and your ideal day. Then go out and do your best to be that man.
Do these things every single day.
Endurance
Men need a battle to fight, and a challenge to face
John Eldredge in his book “Wild at Heart”, said that men need three things.
A Battle to Fight
An Adventure to Live
A Beauty to Rescue
If a man wants to know what he is made of, I would urge him strongly to take on some sort of endurance event. Triathlon, Spartan Race 13+ miles, Biking, Marathon, Ultra-Marathon, go-ruck event, being away from your family or loved ones for an extended period of time.
A man will find out a lot about himself by physically and mentally challenging himself. The thing you don’t think you can do. That’s the thing you need to do.
Skill
Men need to continually learn new skills and become proficient at the ones already developed. If you want to build a website but don’t know how…then learn. If you don’t know how to bench press…then learn. If you don’t know how to shoot a gun, then go learn. Do manly stuff!
Men know that there is never an arrival point, there is never a destination. This life is asymptotic. Meaning you will continually come closer and closer to perfection, but never reach it. This should be encouraging because the sky is the limit.
Once you have a skill, work hard to hone it, and incorporate it into your daily life.
Every day you have a choice as a man, you can settle into mediocrity and passivity that this culture nurtures and cultivates, or you can set yourself apart and be the man you are made to be.
Being that man isn’t easy, because doing things the right way is not popular, and others will go against you because they are shallow scared little boys.
Boys hide and do what feels good, they don’t take responsibility or ownership. They are cowards, afraid of the success they can achieve, afraid to be dangerous and harsh.
It takes a man to make men.
How to obtain Mastery
Don’t look for shortcuts. First, say to yourself what type of man you want to be, then be that man. No one is going to push you more than yourself. A man doesn’t wait for things to be perfect, he takes action.
Stay Consistent. Don’t give up because something gets hard. Becoming the man you are made to be, takes time, effort and practice. Lots of it. Epictetus said: “No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.
Remain Teachable and Humble. These go hand in hand. Humility leads to being teachable. When you realize that you don’t know anything that is when you are ready to learn anything. Remember that you are a warrior and that you were made for greatness. Warriors are teachable, and always ready to learn.
Be willing to adapt. Things don’t always go as planned, but if you remain strategic in your approach and are developing your skill and strength then you will be able to adapt and change as new opportunities and openings arise in your life.
Challenge Yourself. Never think that you have arrived. That you have reached your destination. A man’s journey lasts a lifetime, and you can’t do things because you think you are going to get noticed or because you want accolades. Do the things you need to do because they will make you better as a man, not because you think you will be rewarded for doing them.
Don’t ever settle into mediocrity. Always choose the higher road. You will be a better man because of it, one that is born hardship, pain, discomfort, and grief. Life is never guaranteed to be easy, and as a man, this is the first step in developing a warrior mindset and a never quit attitude.
Be Legendary, Be Authentic.
Do Manly Stuff, Create goals and then conquer those big audacious goals that you set for yourself.
Kick ass. Ever. Single. Day.
Be the man that you were made to be.
Stephen Dull is a Navy Veteran, Cross-fit Enthusiast, Blogger, Podcaster, Engineer, who loves to lift weights in his garage, and help men be the men that they were made to be.
You’re one of the lucky ones. You’ve made it to your 90’s or even 100’s and it’s that time. You lie down for your final nap and never wake up.
If you’re a man of faith – and I am – you don’t think life stops there. Your soul, the essence of who you are, not just your physical form, lives on.
You’re dead but your consciousness still exists. I don’t think we take the same form, I think heaven is in the presence of our Maker and hell is in absence of Him. But for argument’s sake let’s say you go up to the pearly gates and see God.
Standing next to him is a fella that looks exactly like you. He’s a little stronger, more muscular, leaner. He looks like he’s lived more. He has scars on his face and hands and his skin is a lot tougher than yours is.
God says to you, Well done, you lived a good life, but you could have lived a far greater one. This guy is who I created you to be, this is your destiny.
In a glimpse, you see everything that this man, YOU, did. You see that he lived a HARD life. An arduous one. He didn’t compromise his values. He didn’t set small goals. He didn’t quit or cry or whine about his circumstances.
In this glimpse, you’re exposed to what you could have done, who you could have been.
You see the land you could have owned, the thousands of people you could have helped because of the millions and billions of dollars you could have earned.
You see the adventures you could have had and the scars they could have left.
You see the leader you could have been.
It hits you like a punch to the gut. You lived SMALL. You lived quietly. You lived a life of FEAR compared to what you could have done.
You were lazy, weak, afraid, envious, and cynical.
You could have been so much more.
If you have faith – and even if you don’t – compare yourself to this ideal, this potential, this man you can be, this man you’re created to be rather than comparing yourself to the guy next door or the fella down the street or the prick on TV.
Ambition is God Telling You What to Pursue
The second aspect of this epiphany, this glimpse, is that the man standing next to your Maker did what you’d always dreamt of doing.
He hunted in Africa, built a billion-dollar company, married his sweetheart, gave back, lived clean, worked hard, worked out, didn’t make excuses, and took action on the biggest dreams that YOU have.
… While you simply passed them off as dreams.
What your soul begs you to do should be given credence. It should be seen as important. Give it power, sustenance, by acting on it.
You know what your greatest ambitions are. There shouldn’t be anything in this world that can stop you from moving toward them.
The Scars
Finally, the man you CAN BE has been beaten up. He’s failed. He’s had ups and downs and he’s almost died a dozen times.
His life, however, was lived on a far more grand playing field than the one you (we) currently occupy.
He DID the things that you only dream about doing.
He didn’t see obstacles or barriers, but dreams, destinations, goals.
Give your dreams the respect they deserve.
Set higher goals, aim far higher than anyone you know.
Then understand that nothing simply happens. Everything in life takes effort, pain, and persistence, and you can handle all of it.
