a simple question…

What was the best, most exciting time in your life?

The vast majority of us will answer with a period in our lives that was out of the norm, a time that broke the monotony of routine.

I write a lot about routine, because of its necessity in some parts of our lives, but randomness is just as important.

We remember what stands out, not what blends in.

And it’s not just about memories, but joy and happiness as well.

A life perfectly predicted, even if it arrives to its ideal conclusion, will not be as enjoyed as one filled with randomness and adventure, even despair and tragedy.

In that light, I just finished a 3-day road trip with Teddy, from Calgary to Vancouver, through Montana, Idaho, and Washington.

It’s something I’ll remember.

It was just me and Teddy, the open road, a bunch of stogies that I purchased in Idaho because taxes in Canada are far too high (result of government thinking they know what’s best for the individual, trying to punish the individual into doing as they think is best – thus, sending guys like me on a 3 day road trip just to avoid taxes), and audiobooks.

We need randomness and routine.

We need the new and the old, the known and the unknown.

Plan your life but be flexible in those plans.

Know what you want, who you want to become, but be open to something bigger and better than you can currently conjure.

Too often we get caught up in what we should do, and ignore what we’d like to do, what would put wind in our sails or what would challenge us.

Both have their place and their necessity in our lives.

Plan time for the unplanned.

Another aspect of randomness… kindness.

Unexpected kindness can lift someone from despair in a moment – including the one who provides the kindness, the benefits of kindness are not relegated to the receiver.

You’re a man, the man, and thus, a leader. You can bring people down or lift them up.

You have a duty to do the latter and never do the former. 

This isn’t a shining example of random kindness, but I just walked past a young lady on the way to the grocery store.

I could see her from 40 meters away, and could see her despair and sadness written all over her face and posture.

She has visible scars on her face, I’m not sure if that had anything to do with the despair but, in my neanderthalic, brutish brain that, provided me with a solution. 

Check her out and give her a wink…

Everyone likes to be checked out from time to time. It puts a pep in your step and makes you stand a little taller.

It made her blush and smile and, stand a little taller.

Clearly that took no effort, the jury’s out on whether that was actual kindness because she was actually a cutie, and it could’ve easily been seen as rude (but that’s where social intelligence has to play some kind of a role in a situation like this), but the amount of effort it takes to brighten someone’s day even for a second is almost non-existent.

Randomness vs Control

Trying to control what we cannot control isn’t just futile, it’s destructive.

Embrace the randomness of much of life, and appreciate it. Appreciate your lack of control and claim control over the fact that you’re not trying to control what you cannot.

Task: Do something random.

Do something random and memorable with your lady.

Do something random and exciting today.

Get out of the plan for a moment and experience some exhilaration (no excuses on why you can’t today).

Get after it.