I have a Provincial Park right next to my house. It’s who knows how big, filled with deer, the odd cougar or black bear, bobcats, skunks, porcupines, and a bunch of coyotes.
It’s awesome. And lately I’ve been walking Teddy there a lot more and the reasoning for said walks have to do with testosterone and cortisol.
Let me rewind a bit…
For the latter part of last year and the first parts of this year, I’ve been working long, long hours. The 16-18 hour days were in a quest to finish two books and get them to you as fast as possible, and at as high quality as possible, among a bunch of other things that were more behind the scenes.
My parents came for Christmas, and even though I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like, I couldn’t allow myself to take a day off.
Work is great. What I began to realize, however, is that I was almost beginning to work for the sake of work.
That is, I LOVE to work. But working hard and working smart don’t always align, they often oppose one another.
Well, I found myself working all day, every day, putting a ton of unnecessary pressure on my shoulders, worrying about outcomes, stressing about this and that and I realized I needed to stop.
Not work, but stop working for the sake of work.
In fact, I WAS working on the wrong things too often. I wasn’t moving the needle of my business, pushing it to where I wanted it to be. I needed to step back more often, and think.
Thus, I’m on this walkthrough that wonderful park when Teddy runs into a dog he doesn’t like.
If you don’t know Teddy, he’s a solid 110 pound dogo Argentino. They’re powerful dogs, so holding him back is a workout in itself.
As I got control of the prick an older fella watching the malay had a bit of a chuckle, and asked what his breed was…
I answered, then noticed he had a cigar in his hand.
We began chatting about stogies (he’s been smoking two a day since he was 12 years old, thanks to his old man introducing him), how often he smokes, his health, and inevitably government intervention.
Every man’s man I’ve come across despises being told what to do, especially by their government. It’s an interesting shared trait.
We both agreed that cigars calm our minds, they ease our thoughts and probably lighten the load that any ambitious man carries.
The conversation was great.
And it made me think of another cigar smoker: Richard Overton, the 111-year old, oldest living man in America, and Veteran.
Overton smokes 13 cigars per day, and has done for YEARS.
He tops that off with a few glasses of whiskey and his daily dose of ice cream.
He still drives. He’s still truly alive.
When you watch that Youtube video above you’ll notice Overton’s mindset.
He doesn’t worry, because he knows there’s no benefit to it. He’s resigned that his life is in God’s hands, and that fearing death or the unknown is a colossal waste of time.
He doesn’t stress, never has, not even when bullets were flying by his head in the Second World War.
And thus, I walk, and I smoke a cigar.
I do both because they give me time to think. They allow me the time to decide if what I’m doing is what I should be doing. Walking and sitting with a stogie help me determine if what I’m worried about demands worry at all.
In Overton’s story, you can see the power of the mind (and genetics).
By all counts, his lifestyle should have killed him 50 years ago. But it didn’t.
It didn’t because he isn’t plagued by the stress and the worry that consumes our lives, that clouds our reality, that crushes our happiness, joy, and freedom.
We all know that cortisol is one of Testosterone’s greatest killers. We also know that we can largely control our cortisol levels through mindset, a mindset like Overton’s.
In our lives there is no such thing as free time, there’s just time, and it’s winding down.
MAKE time to think.
Make time to be at peace.
Make time to ensure you’re thinking in a way that will help you live how you want to live.
It’s everywhere around us. We’ve been schooled in it since the day of our birth. And, inevitably so, as the population rises, there are even more mediocre humans attempting mediocre things.
What we aren’t shown is truly daring.
We don’t have examples of impressive audacity.
In our own lives, we can’t even dream about what that would look like.
So we set ‘big goals’, and 10x them, and increase the dollar amount, but we don’t live daring lives.
We don’t live in a way that would lead one to think that we have an understanding that our death is coming, sooner than we’d like to believe.
We live like time is infinite.
I mentioned earlier this year that I’m splitting up my reading into two parts:
Marketing – something I need to get a lot better at.
Greatness – men who’ve accomplished truly great things, both in our present time and in history.
So far, I’ve read about a lot of great men. Few of whom were born into a position of greatness. Even those who were born into power – like Alexander – did more with that power than any of them.
That’s a point that needs to be driven home…
We see some success stories and we search for advantages they had that we don’t. But we ignore that it’s our duty to do the best with what we have. That’s it.
Take Trump. People lambaste him for taking a $1 million loan from his old man. They say, “if I got a loan like that I’d be a billionaire too.” Odds are they wouldn’t. Not even close.
If you make $30k/year you’re in the top 1% in the world. And yet we choose to see ourselves as have nots rather than haves.
Hence, you and I have to study great men. We need to see what true greatness is, and how you don’t need a hand-out to attain it. Here are 3 guys you should study and the book’s to begin with:
Napoleon became the emperor of the country that conquered his homeland. Think about that, first, then think about it in terms of title being everything during his time. The title you were born with was the title you would die with.
Yet, he had no title. Still, he become emperor of the very country that overtook his own. That would be like a Polish man ruling the Soviets during their reign, or an Indian becoming king of England when they ruled India. It’s incredible. The scope of his accomplishments need to be studied.
Cook, too, was born in a time when title and birthright determined what you would do with your life. He was born to a farming family. Yet he ended up becoming a Merchant Marine, gaining command of his own ship (which was a lucrative career back then), only to quit and join the Navy, starting again from the very bottom.
He worked his way up and got command of his own ship there, too. He did what no men did before him, and he did it all in the pursuit of adventure.
John D. Rockefeller
Rockefeller was born poor, dirt poor, but died the richest man in the world. Not only was he born poor, but his old man left his mother for another lady and another family.
He acquired wealth as much through audacity and daring as discipline. In fact, discipline was the main driver behind his insane ability to grow and gain power.
Study great men as a means to get into their mind, their way of thinking, setting goals, and dreaming.
Mediocrity is all around you. You do not have to be a part of it.
Books can transport you to another time, another way of viewing the world. They’re a tool. Use books to understand what’s possible.
Earlier this year I stumbled upon an old journal. I’d spent most of the year a little down about where business was, and a few other things, things that I thought I’d be further ahead with (almost exclusively in some way tied to work).
The journal entry was written in December, a few years back, and it laid out what I wanted to have and the business I wanted to have within a couple years time.
For the lifestyle stuff, I wanted a house with a porch and a porch swing (I now live in such a house, bought it a few years ago), a dogo argentino dog (my pup, Teddy, is a dogo argentino), a nice truck (got it), and a lovely lady (accomplished that, too).
From a business standpoint I wanted to get the business to a certain revenue goal (there), have a book published (I’m on the final edit of one of two books coming out this year), and a business that allowed me to travel whenever I wanted (since this journal entry I’ve spent a few months in Italy and South America respectively, while earning more than I spent and coming back with enough money to buy the house I’m now in).
The point is that our expectations necessarily evolve. I’m insanely unsatisfied with where I’m at now from a business standpoint, and that’s good, it forces me to start a supplement company and publish a book within a 5-month span, if I was satisfied I may become complacent and neither of those things would be achieved.
However, we have to review the goals we’ve set so we can see how far we’ve come.
I may be unsatisfied with where I am, and that may help push me to do and try new things and to work harder, but I also appreciate where I am and what I have and who I’m with, and I can see that I can accomplish what I set out to do.
That last point is a big one. I’ve seen evidence that I can accomplish what I set out to do. So, I’ll aim higher and work harder with evidence as my foundation rather than dreams and wishes.
So, review. Write goals and dreams, but never throw away a journal. Never toss out a notebook. Keep them forever and review them monthly so as to see that you’re improving, but also to see how your thinking has evolved.
Now, the lessons I’ve learned in 2017, a practice in review.
What got you here won’t get you there.
I got to a certain point in business by doing things a certain way. Those things, however, won’t get me to the next level, or the company to where I want it to be. To improve you have to get uncomfortable, you have to try new things and test and try new things again.
It’s the same with life, to evolve you need to get uncomfortable, you need to have your reach exceed your grasp.
The dump and chase model works for me, but it doesn’t, in any way, reduce stress.
I did this early on in business, then got away from it, now I’m returning to it. That is, to commit to something, to actually do something before you’re ready to do it. The supplement company is an easy example. After doing research for a program called the Testosterone Routine, I found myself supplementing heavily. I was taking way too many pills, so I decided to solve my own problem of trying to fill gaps in my own nutrition, by making my own supplement.
About a month later I shipped my first bottle, and for a month all I did was research and test different companies and formulas to create what I wanted in a men’s multi. I bought the domain, paid the shipping company, signed contracts, got my graphics guy to do the bottle cover all before I was really ready to embark on such a thing.
It worked for my first Italy trip. I booked it because I said I’d book it. I couldn’t afford it, I had to go in debt to pay for the damn flight, but I gave myself a couple months to somehow hustle and earn enough to get there, pay off the card, and then figure out how to earn enough to last the entire 3 months. I ended up earning more in a month than I’d earned the previous year while there.
Dump (set a big goal, or commit to something big), then chase (make it happen).
You have to think bigger and beyond the industry you’re in.
It seems cliche, even blatantly obvious, but I stopped thinking bigger for a while. I slid into the rut of doing what I’d done for a few months. You have to snap out of this mode, where you routinely attempt to do mediocre things. I was deep in that mode. I had to both step back and disengage to see how I was behaving, but hiring a coach and joining a mastermind group also helped.
Cutting costs while also growing revenue.
I have a tendency to think purely about revenue. I want to grow the business and two ways to measure that growth is by how many guys sign up for something like the Tribe, and how much revenue increases, but in this chase for growth, you can’t lose sight of costs. I learned that lesson after reading TITAN, the biography of John D. Rockefeller. No matter how wealthy he becomes he never lost sight of costs and it’s a big reason why his company was able to reach such incredible heights.
Invest in a coach.
If for anything else than accountability. When you hire a coach or join a mastermind group you become accountable to someone you’re paying, but also someone who’s doing what you want to do, and a group of other people who are watching you, holding you to your word. I invested in two last year. Both made this year a creation year in a big way. Both pushed for the book and the Tribe newsletter. Both pushed me to do what I wasn’t yet ready or comfortable to do.
The guys who get the Average 2 Alpha Tribe Newsletter in the mail every month didn’t sign up for that newsletter. It’s a bonus. Something I started, wrote, and sent at no extra cost. Every time I’ve over-delivered I’ve won lifelong customers. Every time I’ve under-delivered I’ve lost people. Simple. No matter the business, always over-deliver on what you’re providing. Forget about the price tag and put everything you have into it.
You have to be ruthless with your time. Say NO.
Work time is work time. Play time, play time. Have your work time scheduled and planned and make distractions impossible. Put your phone at the other end of the room, or better yet, in a different room altogether. Start saying no way more often. If it doesn’t align with your plan, say no, or schedule the interview or whatever for your interview day. Don’t take calls when it’s work time, just work.
Set reward goals, sure, but focus more on the things you have to accomplish to achieve the numbers.
So have your annual revenue goal or your savings goal or your investment goal, that’s the direction you’re pointing yourself in, then focus more on the vehicles that will get you there (the work, the project you have to complete to create that reward goal).
Focus only on the projects you have to complete, and on nothing but accomplishing them by their deadline.
Surround yourself with people who are better than you at what you do.
See how guys who are better than you at what you do (for now) schedule their time, what goals they set, what projects they pursue. Learn from them. They’ve tried and failed and tested and succeeded. You don’t have to go through the same failure, you can take what works for them and see if it works for you. You can act like the winner before the victory is yours.
More than half of the battle of building wealth is turning your back on how most people thing.
There’s wealth and there’s owning things. You can do both, but most wealthy people choose wealth over things. Our society chases things. They get weighed down and stressed out by what they own to the point that it ends up owning them. Buy what you need, even buy what may bring you long term joy, but don’t fall into the trap of buying things just for the sake of buying things.
If you get newsletters from online stores, or newsletters in the mail, cancel them. Unless they’re books, you do not need what they’re selling.
Invest money without knowing that you’re investing money. Put money away without having to actually go to the bank or sign in online and move it. There will be months where you don’t move it. Automate it.
Set a budget.
My parents are incredible – namely my mom – at living beneath their means. It’s enabled them to pay off their house in 10 years and live a free life, when most people – even their friends – who earned a lot more than them are riddled with debt and stress.
When you read a book like Proverbs, or any book by any of the Stoics – Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, Cato – you end up wanting to be frugal, to not be held back by the wantings of the masses. Seneca was a wealthy businessman, yet he walked the streets in rags. To have wealth, and to be poor in possessions is akin to being strong and powerful, yet kind. Setting a budget draws lines like the 12 virtues course draws lines with your virtues. You can buy something or you can’t, simple, there is no decision-making process when you have a good budget laid out.
Aim higher, and then aim higher again.
Set your sights high they say. Set big goals, aim for the stars, and we do in our dreams but do we in our daily lives? More often than not, no. We set goals without any real dedication to achieving them. We limit ourselves by thinking like everyone else thinks. After years of setting safe goals, it becomes difficult to aim high, really high, as in, 10xing your aspirations, and then going beyond that.
But we have to. To realize what we can accomplish we have to aim higher than we can safely achieve. To realize why we’re here, we have to go beyond what we’ve aimed at achieving up to this point. This takes time and a lot of thinking. It takes study and trial and time away from work to understand the grand pursuit we should aspire to achieve.
Good relationships take work, and that’s a good thing. We obviously just want to do what we want to do, but that’s not life.
This idea that life should be easy comes up again and again when you talk to people about what they want in life. But here’s what’s good, and here’s what we want. A good, strong, passionate relationship takes work. If it didn’t take work, it wouldn’t be forcing you to grow and evolve. Ease is death, even in relationships. If something’s too easy, it isn’t asking enough of you.
Be decisive and assertive.
You can practice being decisive and assertive in your business, but also in your relationships. Your lady wants a leader, someone she can feel confident in and proud of. Being like so many, wandering aimlessly, not really knowing what you want will not only hurt you in life, but it’ll hurt the relationship. Know what you want and go get it.
I’m not a fan of the term ‘vulnerable’, it’s not a masculine trait and when men try to be vulnerable it’s not true, it weakens them. Transparency, however, is honest, it’s true. Say what’s on your mind, give her the transparency she needs and you need to have a good, honest, true and open relationship.
The right lady pushes you to become better, to aim higher, and to live to a higher standard. The wrong lady brings you down, holds you back.
I didn’t realize this until I started going out with Jessy. The motivation not just for work, but becoming a better man, has never been higher. To top that, she’s there pushing me, asking more of me than I have asked of myself – even if she doesn’t know it. A bad relationship is one where the lady takes, she constantly focuses on insignificant things and wants you to cater to her, not to be the best damn version of yourself that you can be. There’s a huge difference. If you’re in a relationship where you’re regressing as a man, think about getting out of it or putting your foot down and changing its trajectory.
If we don’t have rules for life, we’ll inevitably fall into a rut.
The next issue of the Tribe Magazine is going to be dedicated to the 12 rules for life. This isn’t about virtues, but legit rules I follow, and I think other guys may benefit from following. Rules force ambition, grand thinking and daring action. They force us to become better men and live as great men every day. Without rules we wander, we go outside of the path we want to be on, we deviate. Rules sound restrictive, but they aren’t, they liberate us to live at a higher standard.
You are your habits, what you repeatedly do. Success is who you are every day, not how you act in a grand moment of triumph.
We think we’ll rise to the occasion, but it’s rarely the case. If we want to live a great life, forget about the moment, the big idea we’ll eventually have, the big action we’ll eventually take, and focus instead on our habits. How focused are you? How distracted are you? Every year I learn this lesson. As my habits improve, I improve, business improves, life improves, everything gets better.
Have models, guys who’ve accomplished what you want to accomplish, or beyond, and copy them.
Knowing what to do or even what to aim to do isn’t always easy. Thankfully, history is filled with men who’ve done great things, as is our current culture. Find someone who’s done something great, maybe even something that you want to do, and copy them. You’ll do it in your own way and you’ll make your own decisions, but having a blueprint is far more effective than trying to wing it.
Aim high, then simplify.
Again, set audacious goals, truly audacious goals, then simplify down to both the daily habits these goals demand you have, and the projects you need to complete to reach these goals. We love the grand dream, but it’s the smaller project, the less exciting work, that will make the dream a reality. Focus on the steps that you can control and not the reward.
There’s no reason to be busy, nor any reason to rush.
When you have a good plan there’s no reason to rush. None. Planning provides clarity about what you should be doing in a given moment. When you know what you should do in a moment, there’s no need to worry about what you need to do in the next, or what should have been done previously. There’s never a valid reason to rush, ever. Plan, and then execute. The more I do this, the more I win. The less I do this, the more busy my life gets and the less I accomplish.
I need a crutch.
I spent the majority of the year not working on my faith at all. Mistake.
Throughout my entire life I’ve been great at dealing with stress and pressure and ‘dumping and chasing’. I’ve set sights high, focused on the process and let God deal with what happens, allowing faith to enable me to forget about the unknown and not worry about the future.
As I’ve stopped working on my faith, that calmness has wavered. That confidence has wavered. So, this past month I re-opened my Bible and started reading. I won’t have to learn this lesson again. The more ambitious you are, the more you take on your shoulders, the stronger you are – or at least I am – with faith. And intending to tackle more and aim higher yet again, faith will not take a backseat.
The idea is to learn them once.
Hopefully this list won’t be the same next year. For now, I’ll sit and review and plan ahead.
Can you be manly? Of course. You don’t call an effeminate ‘manly’. You don’t call a weak, timid man, manly. You wouldn’t look at a guy who’s always afraid, who gets pushed around by people and the world, manly.
Every man should aim to be manly. While we’re told to be good, be kind, and be successful, but a part of success is being good at being a man, something that’s almost completely forgotten by our society and culture.
Aspiring to be more manly is aiming to become a more successful man. But instead of using money or popularity as a barometer for success, you’re using masculinity. The more masculine you are, the more of a man you are.
Our society has messed up what it means to be a man in a big way. Hence, sometimes we need articles like this one to help clarity.
Here’s the reality, we know a man’s man when we see one and meet one. There’s something unspoken that stands out about the guy, how he carries himself, who he is, and even how he looks.
If you think this is an archaic topic, then you’re on the right site. If you believe in the myth of toxic masculinity, then again, wrong site. If you think that masculinity is in some way bad, wrong site, wrong article.
This article is for guys who want to improve every area of their life, including how masculine they are, and I applaud you for doing so.
You don’t make a society safe by making weak men, they’ll stab you in the back, they’re devious. You make a society safe by building strong men, by allowing them to be strong and dangerous so as to keep the rest of the flock in check.
Be a sheepdog
Evil exists. It cannot be won through peace or compassion. It is evil. It’s illogical. It’s dark and it preys on the weak. Men must be the sheepdogs guarding the weak that evil aims to decimate and enslave.
Do manly shit
“Over-sentimentality, over-softness, in fact, washiness and mushiness are the great dangers of this age and of this people. Unless we keep the barbarian virtues, gaining the civilized ones will be of little avail.”
Masculinity is barbaric. Society needs it to be. It is not soft, though once it’s strong it can be softened and refined. You cannot aim to be soft first, you need to be tough, gritty and barbaric, and you practice being so by doing manly, barbaric things.
Hunt, fight, practice the art of being dangerous. If you don’t have the capacity to be dangerous, if you can be pushed around and beat up, you’re not doing this manliness thing correctly.
Too many think that ‘being the man’ is doing whatever the hell you want. If you’re not providing for your family, if you’re not saving for a rainy day, if you’re not someone that your family can depend on, you’re definitely doing this man thing wrong.
You’re the rock, the shoulder, the constant. You can’t be a boy. You can’t show up. You have to be the leader of the house, the tribe, and everything else.
The Lost Art of Manliness
Being manly is a necessary quest for every man to take part in. From the time you’re a boy, you aspire to be so. You don’t look up to wimps or whiners, but strong, self-reliant men. You aspire to be like them. You grow and age and you must continue this pursuit until, eventually one day, you’re the man that everyone looks to for protection, help, and guidance.
Be that guy
Don’t go the soft route of society, go the route that men took to build nations, not the weakness that threatens to see them crumble.
TV, for me, isn’t something to unwind to, it’s not something I look forward to, but it is something that gives me ideas, something that I like to put on in the background as I write and work on the monotonous aspects of the business.
In that light, Nextflix is awesome.
I’ve been watching the Crown, in season two now. How they get these locations is beyond me. As with any good show – especially in season 1 from Winston Churchill’s character – there are lessons.
Season two has a few. One comes midway through the season when they cover Prince Charles’ education. Charles’ old man wanted to educate him at the same school he went to, a school that toughened him up, that put him through the ringer, tested him, and made him into a man.
Phillip, Charles’ dad, wanted his son to be tested, to be toughened and strengthened. There was only one problem, as the future king, everyone around him saves for the students and faculty at the school his father made him attend, coddled him. Everyone around Charles babied him, allowed him to be a pussy and to be soft and to develop soft virtues that a future king should simply not have.
Even after graduating from said school Charles still didn’t see the benefit of struggle, he still wasn’t illuminated by the necessity of a trial.
The lesson I took is that title is useless. King should be a powerful term. It was once won in battle when a man conquered land and claimed it for his own. Today, it’s obviously just a title, but we still praise title. We shouldn’t.
Thanks to capitalism we now look up to merit more than the title but some people still think that where you’re born matters. They think that success is predetermined. They think that being born rich is actually better than being born poor.
But what’s money? What’s wealth? What’s a handout and a hand up? It’s all useless. In terms of the things that actually matter in life, the virtues by which you live and conduct yourself, who you are as a man, the obstacles you overcome, poverty is a greater blessing than wealth.
There’s likely no chance anyone reading this will agree, but it’s the truth.
The things you have do not matter. The car you drive, the car your folks drive when you’re a kid, they do not matter. The man you are when you’re at your highs and when you’re at your lows, this is what matters. The leader you are for your family and tribe. The work you do. The discipline you have.
Title is useless.
The king is a pussy. It appears he’ll go through his life as a pussy. His title doesn’t make him a man and odds are you’re more of a king than the damn king.
Of course, it’s a show. Likely part fiction, part truth. Understand, nay, know that your virtues make you a king, not the womb you popped out of.
There are males and there are men. Men are easy to spot. They’re strong and tough and dangerous. They’re the guys you call when you need help. They’re dependable, self-reliant, and they’ve got their shit together, they’re not boys wandering aimlessly on this planet.
They’re creating something, a legacy, a place in this world, a leadership role even in their own, small tribe.
We need more of them. Hopefully, this article will help you better understand what it means to be a man by better defining the characteristics that make up this ideal.
Toughness is persisting through the pain. Men do not succumb to pain. We do not allow it to stand in the way of the goal, or simply what must be done.
A man does not worry about the opinions of others. He concerns himself only with what he can control. He’s not a worrier, he’s a warrior. Whether he knows it or not he’s a Stoic.
People depend on him, as much as he can, he depends on himself. Self-reliance is learned over time. If you’re not quite there, keep learning new skills, it’s a journey that never ends.
He shows up. He does what he says he’s going to do. He’s not a flaky little kid. He dependable. He’s a man.
The Capacity for Danger
Manliness demands that you’re not only a good man morally, but that you’re good at being a man from a utility standpoint, and men are men so they can protect and defend. If you have no capacity for danger, you’re not doing this masculinity thing very well. Join a boxing gym.
Read Farther Than Any Man, by Martin Dugard. It’s a book about the life of James Cook. Men are explorers by nature. Don’t turn your back on your nature.
When there’s a group of people who are afraid to go down the dark alley, or into the cave in the mountains, the man ventures forward. He’s daring, dangerously so.
Accomplishment is as necessary for our souls as air for our ability to live another day. We need to accomplish. Focus on one thing and focus on achieving it and nothing else. You need to be successful to feel like you’re a man (but you define success! Don’t let someone else’s definition rule over your life).
To be a man you can’t be fickle, especially with your friendships. You’re the guy other’s go to when they need help because you’re loyal, you’re always there.
You’re impressive to someone. Something you do, how you carry yourself, how you act, the work you get completed, is impressive to someone.
Take pride in how you act, work, and live. Be an impressive human, not just a mediocre male. Men desire improvement. That very fact means they’re going to act in a more impressive manner than those content with mediocrity.
Grit is found less and less in modern humans. It’s the ability to persist through failure, for a long duration, under great pressure. It’s toughness over time. It doesn’t matter who you are on one day if you’re good or tough in a moment, but if you can be so forever.
Whatever a man’s going through, he must persist. It doesn’t mean you can pivot or learn from your mistakes, but your quest for improvement cannot end, your adherence to your ideals cannot falter.
Define rules. We don’t like rules, but we need them. We need guides to align our daily actions and thoughts to our ideal. Our ideal is both who we are and the life we aspire to live. Being consistent demands we understand what we want to be consistent at. Define rules for your life. Live by them daily.
To be a man, the man you ideally want to become, you cannot let fear deter you from the actions your masculine soul begs you to take, actions of adventure and daring, it has to be a compass, a guide that shows you want to pursue and not what to avoid.
When you have a tribe of your own, you do what you do for them, you work your ass off, you save and invest and create a legacy, but your basic needs come last to theirs. You serve them by being their rock, their provider, and their protector.
Kids have the luxury of wandering. Men need to be focused on something grand, at the very least their daily improvement.
Rough around the edges
You cannot be a man and be completely refined and polished and well-mannered. You must be rough around the edges. You must be a little barbaric, a tad dangerous, a Viking at heart. Being a man means you’re not fully civilized. There will always be an aspect of you that has the capacity to do harm especially if it’s for good.
What can you accomplish if you’re not disciplined? Likely nothing of value. Men need accomplishment in some form. We need to see the fruits of our endless labor, and the path to accomplishment is always discipline.
Who you want to become is who you are now. Be him now. Hold yourself to a higher ideal. Aspire to achieve what you want to achieve and let nothing stand in your way.
The greats, Theodore Roosevelt, James Cook, Stephen Smith (slave turned millionaire, look him up), were relentless. Nothing stopped them. Nothing.
Let nothing stand in your way, whatever it is the reason you feel you’re here.