There’s that holds us back in life that doesn’t need to hold us back.
We think we have to play the role that fits where we were born, who we were born to, and when we were born. The reality is we can choose much more than we realize.
We get to decide what we like, what path we take, who we aspire to become, what we aspire to do in life. We control a heck of a lot more than we realize, especially in terms of scope.
Most think small, a few think big. It’s a decision, a choice that’s available to all of us.
Again, a choice. We can choose to focus on what we can control or we can choose to focus on what we cannot control.
An event happens, it isn’t bad or good, yet we place labels on it that send us into discouragement and self-pity, which are very attractive ways to think initially, but destructive in the long run.
How we see ourselves is reflective of who we present to the world and how we act. If we’re lazy, we see ourselves as not able to achieve what we want to achieve, hence, giving little effort.
If we quit, give up, aim smaller than we should, give little effort, it’s not because WE are not good enough to get what we want, it’s because we don’t see ourselves as being good enough to get what we want and on the scope we want it on.
The answer to standards is, of course, to see yourself differently, but even more, to act differently and to show yourself that you are THE MAN.
I mean, what have you got to lose?
You can act like you’re the man by rising early, working hard, thinking bigger, even dressing better, training harder, and doing everything in your power to be the best man you can possibly be…
…And in doing so actually become a better man (at worst), and at best, achieve even greater things than you ever thought possible.
Or you can give mediocre effort, improve incrementally, and never see what you’re made of, never become the man you can become.
It all starts with choices….
I love the line from Ballers, when the Rock’s character tells a story about his old man meeting his long time boss, and realizing one very important fact in life:
That we’re all just guys. Some guys think they can, and some guys think they can’t.
There’s no real difference in talent or innate ability when it comes to success, in fact IQ is a horrible predictor of financial success, often working to lower one’s chances of becoming wealthy.
And no matter where you’re from, how you look, or what you like to do, there’s usually a success story, and if there isn’t, become the first, someone has to… Why not you?
We can choose to make excuses or we can choose to hold ourselves to a higher standard, the standard of the man we’re trying to become, not shaded by insecurity or laziness, mediocrity or safety, but fueled by pure, raw, unsaturated ambition.
Hold yourself to a higher standard.
Be the man, now, don’t wait, act.
> > Get MAN GREENS today!
Imagine doing something unforgivable. You think others may not forgive you or may be better off without you or knowing what you did, but most of all, you can’t forgive yourself. Maybe it’s an act, a moment, or a way of behaving you’ve adopted over time that’s unforgivable.
You can’t look at yourself in the mirror. You destroyed the idea of who you thought you were, and in doing so you let everyone around you down. You feel like an absolute piece of shit, but you’re still standing…
Being at the lowest is horrible, the true lowest, being disgusted with yourself, ashamed, embarrassed, all of it. It’s bad, but there is liberation in the fact that you can handle it. That fact is missed by far too many today.
Rock bottom, to too many men, is the end. Rock bottom should be the spot from which you rise from. When you’ve hit rock bottom, everything else is a bonus, it’s borrowed time, it’s a second chance, it’s a new beginning.
There’s no denying, however, that it’s painful.
I just watched the movie, A Star is Born, which I would never have actively sought out had I not stumbled upon it in the middle of a song that the lead actor, Bradly Cooper, was singing. I liked the song, so I started watching the movie from the beginning.
If you haven’t watched it, this article contains massive spoilers, so watch, then read this.
By the end of the movie I had a salty liquid streaming down my face, I think they’re called tears. I was alone, smoking a stogie, sipping on scotch, watching what could be called a romantic movie for about ¾’s of the film, getting choked up.
Cooper’s character is a man in pain. Maybe you’re a man in pain. I’ve been a man in pain and I’ll again be a man in pain. He meets a lady – played wonderfully by Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. Cooper is a famous singer in the movie, a country/rock kind of singer, who has great songs in the film and they’re now on my playlist.
The famous singer meets the talented but undiscovered lady and helps her become even more famous than him, which he struggles with. As he declines she rises, and that seems to be a big part of the struggle with him in the film, but there’s more to it.
He sees who she is, the best that she can be, but also how she’s acting completely out of line with the woman he knows, which crushes him because he can’t say much about it without sounding jealous, a burden he carries. He knows who she is versus who she’s acting as, even though the rest of the world rewards and applauds her for her catchy tunes and outlandish shows.
As he’s ushered out of the limelight, she’s ushered in, and that he can’t handle, either.
Booze and drugs have been his go to crutch for years and he dives back into them, embarrassing her and – as others tell him – holding her back in the process. Though he knows she’s acting less than she can by creating crappy songs that sell but aren’t true to who she is, he sees himself as a weight dragging her down, holding her back, a weight that he eventually cuts loose through suicide.
Aided, of course, by the booze and the drugs, he hangs himself in his garage, multiplying his pain and putting it onto everyone else’s shoulders. He can’t handle the shame, so he makes others deal with it and more in confusing, hopeless, emptiness.
When I was 15 or 16 I was downstairs in my folks house talking with a cutie I was dating at the time when my mom walked into the room in tears, telling me abruptly that, ‘Johnny’s dead, he killed himself.’
Johnny was my cousin, the cousin I knew best, saw the most, a man who had a kind heart and a truly tortured soul. Suicide was too much, though. He hung himself in the basement of his home, his pregnant wife found him dangling from the ceiling, and his daughter was too young to really know him.
Watching that film brought back that pain, that feeling of confusion and hopelessness and senseless loss that didn’t need to happen.
My cousin didn’t need to kill himself.
He could have talked about what he was going through, whatever shame or pain he had could have been forgiven. He could have raised his family with pride and honor and I could be smoking a cigar with him on my porch, now that I live in the same city as his wife and two daughters.
We, humans, men, we do some bad things. We do some shameful things. We fail. We don’t live up to our expectations or those of others. We can be very selfish. We can be mean. We can dive deep into pity, into selfishness, into despair, thinking that from an outside perspective we have no reason for being here, that our usefulness is gone, that everyone around us is better off without us.
We lie to ourselves, making suicide the practical and only solution to the problem, which is us.
Sometimes it’s aided – as it is in the movie – by a piece of shit who tells us that we need to be removed from the picture.
It is never true that those around us are better off without us.
It is never factual that whatever pain we feel or shame we feel or despair we feel is enough for us to end our lives.
Everyone who knew my cousin felt pure pain when he died. They felt as though they could have done more. They felt responsible. Of course, he was the only one responsible, but that doesn’t change the daily pain and thoughts and questions we all have about him.
When you’ve done something so wrong that you can’t look at yourself in the mirror.
You’re stuck with despair, shame, and pain, and now what?
You’ve hit rock bottom, and you can always handle it. It’s never as bad as you think it is or will be.
You’re living on borrowed time, so do more, live more, help more, get out of your own head, get off the bottle, off the drugs, I’d guess that most suicides happen in drunk or drugged states. Don’t put that crap into your body.
Ask for help, for sure, but understand the freeing feeling of living on borrowed time.
Understand the power of rock bottom, of having nowhere deeper or darker to go, and smile at the darkness, own it, be in it, don’t avoid it or dull it, become it.
Build something from that darkness. Build a legacy that will eventually bring you to the light.
If you don’t think you can make your life better, do everything you possibly can to become the man that will make everyone else’s life better.
Be your own man.
“A man does not die of love or his liver or even of old age; he dies of being a man.” — Miguel de Unamuno
Personally, I’m not 100% sure about what being my own man is, not completely. I still question whether a belief is mine or because of some other influence, the same with a thought or a perspective.
Every morning I read. Each book both opening my mind and influencing how I think.
I’ll play golf or shoot or smoke a stogie at least once a week with a buddy. Every time we talk about business, family, life, politics, religion, and so forth. Sometimes – just like with a book – I’ll adopt a belief that makes sense and that I agree with, sometimes, I’m sure, I’ll allow the pal or the book or some post to influence how I act without it being completely in line with who I am.
Methinks this is inevitable, especially today.
We’re sold what to think, what to aspire to have, what’s important, what to believe, how to vote, and who to be in every conversation we have with others, in every great book we pick up, and in every TV show, movie, or piece of social media we consume.
It’s so constant that it becomes difficult to know who we genuinely are, what we genuinely believe and want and who we’re trying to become.
Just writing this I think there’s an answer in that previous sentence…
Who we’re trying to become.
This is who we are. We’re not born having achieved a single thing, learned a single skill, or done anything of value besides making our parents happier.
From that day forward we chase potential.
Sometimes we spend decades chasing it in the wrong manner, chasing loose women, fancy cars, drunken experiences that we’ll seldom remember.
Sometimes the incorrect chase is found in safety. We don’t aim high enough, we degrade who we think we are to fit our current circumstances, we avoid failure and thus avoid being ambitious enough.
Other times, and this is most prevalent, we chase our potential based off of what others we know have done, are doing, or are telling us we should do.
We become a whole made up of fractions of everyone we know, everyone we’ve read, and everyone we’ve watched. We inevitably end our lives never having lived them, never having walked in our own boots.
So how, then, does one become his own man?
How do we truly figure out who that is, and in the most ambitious, audacious, and daring manner possible?
You’re not mediocre. The more I read about great men in history and see and meet multimillionaires and billionaires and titans in various realms, the more I see that greatness is perspective, how we see ourselves, not who we’re born as.
The truth is we all are actively degrading who we are by seeing ourselves as less than we have the capacity to become, but finding that avenue to chase, the things that make up who you are, your genuine interests, beliefs, motivations, desires, plans, and what you want in life need to be clarified.
The answer isn’t immediate.
It takes trial and error and thought.
You can’t spend your entire day being influenced. You need peace, silence, and in my case, a stogie and an hour and a half to think, to find clarity, to pray, to work out decisions in my own mind rather than allowing someone else’s mind to dictate my actions.
I think this requires growth as well as clarity and understanding.
You have to become a better man to really understand your potential, to have the virtues in place to be able to determine lies from truth, influence from genuine desire.
Which is why I highly recommend you – at least once – complete the only course on becoming a better man, the 12 Virtues of Manliness.
…And you should do it today.
The longer we live not being ourselves, not chasing what we truly want and living as the man we want to become rather than waiting to become him, the further away we move from that marker, that man, that life that we’re genuinely and ambitiously here to live.
Get stronger. Get smarter. Get closer to your potential.
P.S. Spend some time thinking about desires alone…
Which ones are yours? Which ones are because of an external influence? Which should you ditch and which should you keep?
Who do YOU want to become? What do you want to do in this life? And, most importantly, what’s most important to you?
…Not anyone else, but what’s most important to you… Make a list.
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. ~ Viktor Frankl
We can know this in theory, but it’s only when we experience it, when we’re stripped of all we have, all we thought we valued, all we thought we loved, that we’re faced with this decision.
At first we don’t even know that the decision is there, all we see is pain and despair and pity. We ask questions like, ‘what’s the point’? ‘Why me?’ And so on. We walk around with a cloud above our heads, with no light. After the initial darkness, reason and logic begin to creep in, hopefully this doesn’t take too long. We see that there are choices, especially when we come across quotes like this or books like Man’s Search for Meaning, we see that in every circumstance, we can have everything taken from us except our attitude and our choice to choose our path.
The decision isn’t easy to make, pity is intoxicating, pain, sorrow, and depression and all-consuming, but that decision is there and if we begin to make it in small things, we see that we can’t be broken, we see light, we feel true power. The truth is that we can, indeed, have everything we think we need and love and value taken away from us and we can actually choose to be better off for it, to become better because of it. In doing so we become truly powerful.
Most emails I get from guys – other than those about T – are about dealing with tough times, break-ups, a lack of certainty and clarity about life (which is difficult) and so forth.
What we often fail to realize is the choice that can be made. We can completely change our perspective on a situation, find good in it, find a worthy struggle within it… Struggle. It’s something we want to avoid in today’s society, and likely always have wanted to avoid, but it’s within struggle that we grow, evolve, and become someone better.
A worthy struggle can provide an opportunity to even change how you see yourself for the better. It can force you to create confidence where there is none, to necessarily change who you think you are because if you keep seeing yourself as a loser, a victim, you’ll never live the life you want to live. By forcing yourself to see yourself as someone and something better you climb out of whatever you’re facing and set yourself up for a better life in the future.
A worthy struggle is a gift, not a curse. It creates calluses where softness and weakness dominated. It turns a boy into a man. It turns a man into a warrior. It turns a warrior into a king.
Whatever you’re going through, even if it’s uncertainty, maybe pain or failure or depression or sadness and despair, don’t just ‘keep going’, though you should, no, step back, detach, see how you can use it to transform into someone better, how you can use it to become tougher.
Choose your way out.
Get after it.
P.S. Get Man Greens Today (Sale on Multiple Bottle Orders)
Be a better man, daily. No wish, no dream, follow the plan in this article and simply, be a better man day in and day out.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
We want to be better men, we all do. Few, however, have a plan to carry it out. Just like few men have a plan for power or wealth even though they dream about it nightly.
What follows are 9 action steps that you can take this week that’ll help you be a better man, but also become better at being a man, that is, the core, the base of what masculinity is, utilitarian above all else.
You’re here to serve a purpose. You’re here to win. You are not here to fill a clog, to fit into a puzzle, to exist.
A woman is born. A man is made. (read: The Manliness Checklist)
Manhood is something to aspire toward. It’s a goal, something to achieve, it isn’t something that occurs when you reach puberty or buy a house or even get married.
It’s something you win. People around you know when you’re there. They know they can count on your for all kinds of things that they maybe once couldn’t.
They know you’ll lead them in the right direction and for the right reasons and they’re glad to follow.
The Romans called manliness, excellence in all things. And it is. Excellence isn’t born, but crafted over time, as is manliness.
1. Do what you say you’re going to do.
A man is no better or worse than his word. Yet, we lie to ourselves every day. We say we’ll do this, act like this, achieve that, and we never do.
If we’d only do what we say we’re going to do in business and in life we would be able to look back at our lives with a pride rarely felt in the course of humanity. (read: what it means to be a man)
Intentions are like buttholes… You know where the line goes.
They’re shitty and everyone has them.
Accomplishments, well, they’re rare. They’re a big part of why we’re here. We’re not here to want to do something, intend to do something, or wish we could do something. We’re here to achieve. From big to small, do what you say you’re going to do, whether you say it to yourself silently or aloud to others. Get it done.
2. Do what you don’t feel like doing.
One of the best barometers of whether you should do something or not, is that you don’t feel like doing it.
Try this for a day. Most people, men especially these days, avoid doing things simply because they don’t feel like doing it.
When you have that moment of not feeling like doing something, do it. Sometimes you’ll have to avoid something because it doesn’t stick with the plan, but the point is to do those things you initially set out to do but now don’t feel like doing at all.
Try it out. You will be a better man because of it. You’ll end the day having lived, achieved, and won. If you stack up enough days like that you’ll live a great, truly great, life.
3. Don’t get too low, or too high.
Enjoy your victories, celebrate them. We don’t do enough celebrating these days. That said, don’t get too high when nothing seems to go wrong, and definitely don’t get too low when it seems like everything is going wrong.
That’s nice to say, it’s a good piece of advice, but how do you actually achieve it, namely not getting too low?
You have to have a plan for your life and for your day, and you have to follow that plan regardless of how you feel.
Action is an antidepressant. Being static and stationary will make you even more depressed. I’ve been through this, recently actually.
I had every opportunity to get really low, down, and depressed. It was staring me in the face every day, and the only thing that prevented it was action.
I set out every day to not stop until 8pm, regardless of how I felt.
I had a bunch of work to get done, yardwork, I had the gun range, the archery club, cigars, and books.
I wouldn’t stop until the day was done and it was time to wind down. That’s how you avoid being too low, you’re too busy to be low.
There’s a reason why I smoke cigars and it has nothing to do with aesthetics or taking pictures and all that nonsense. Cigars are meditation for men.
I’ll smoke one every second day or something like that. It’s an hour or so of meditation, of thinking, of putting things into perspective, putting the pieces of the puzzle together for life and business and even relationships.
Do it however you need to do it, but men need that moment in a day, whether by stogie or pipe or book, where they have silence to get their mind right.
It will help you become a better man.
5. Read more than you watch.
TV can be good. It can be a winding down, you can get inspired from it and even learn from it. More often than not, however, it’s useless, and people watch far too much of it.
Spend at least an hour a day reading, and less time than that watching TV.
As a man, you need to be smart. You need to be able to strategize and plan, to dissect situations and to not allow your emotions cloud important decisions. Reading will help you become a smarter man. A smarter version of yourself is undoubtedly a better version of yourself.
6. Be dangerous.
Better dictates you’re better at being what men should be, a protector and provider. The fact that you have the capacity to be dangerous means you’re at least the former.
The reality is that there are bad people out there, and as a man, you have to be better at being dangerous than those bad people. This means you know how to fight, that you’ve trained to do so, that you’ve strengthened your body so as to be successful at fighting, and, well, you know how to use a gun. (read: how to be an alpha male)
The ignorance that guns are bad can stand between not having one when a bad guy does have one. They’re a tool, like a hammer or a knife and they’re a much more effective tool in certain circumstances when your family’s safety is on the line.
Be as dangerous as you can possibly be.
This is what being a good man requires. We’re utilitarian beings. We’re here to serve some purpose and protection is definitely one of those purposes.
7. Plan how to be successful.
Success isn’t something you wish would happen, but something you’re strategically creating. The more money you make, the bigger your impact can be. Money isn’t the be all end all, it’s a tool, a gauge you can judge how good you are at what you do – one of many.
Up until a certain time in life, boys dream about success, they wish it and pray for it, but men plan for it.
Until it’s a plan, it remains a wish. Have a plan to achieve power and success, and then do whatever you have to do to create it.
8. Be stoic.
Stoicism is a lot of things, it’s a way to live and think and how to see things. It’s an understanding that the event isn’t as important as your reaction to it.
You have complete power and control over how you see things, tragedy, victory, betrayal, the absurdly unfairness of life. Most things are not a part of you. They do not wish to harm you, they simply are.
Read Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus to know how to live. Read Proverbs, anything by or about Theodore Roosevelt or George Washington, and learn to deal with the worst and the best like a man. Read Man’s Search for Meaning as well.
9. Take care of yourself first.
This goes against what most of us think is ‘good’, but it’s the truth. This does not in any way mean you buck responsibilities, but you put the oxygen mask over your mouth before you put it over your kid’s.
If you suck, their lives suck.
If you’re unsuccessful, weak, fat, depressed, sad, down in the dumps, their lives are negatively impacted.
You have to be at your best for their lives to be at their best. You’re their foundation. So, take care of your shit. Get your money right. Get your mind right. Get your body right.
Have the things in your life you need to do to put wind in your sails. It could be hiking, hunting, shooting, reading, smoking a stogie every day, having beers with your pals once a week. Whatever you need to get yourself right, have it in your routine and don’t compromise.
Do the things on this list, most of them should be routine.
Next: Share this article if you enjoyed it.
And please comment! Would love to hear your thoughts.
Action Step: Boost Testosterone, Libido, and Improve Health with Man Grees.
Image is everything. Okay, that’s not true, who you are and what you achieve is far more important than how you look. That said, you want to put the best version of yourself out there visually, because people do judge on appearance. If you look successful and manly you’re going to have that effect on others, which is what you want. (Read: 5 Steps to Be a Better Man)
You want to both look like the man and be the man.
Yet, style is trending toward the feminine. Men today are told to groom and pluck their face and chest and tighten their jeans and soften their skin.
In short, men are being pushed to look more feminine. Look at razor commercials or body spray commercials and you’ll see a slew of ‘somewhere in between’ looking humans, not men.
Men are also not being raised by men like they once were. What man knows how to fix his own truck, build his own fence, or fix the plumbing when it runs awry? Whether you want to look more manly in a suit or in jeans, in the boardroom or in the yard, I’ll show you 5 steps that’ll help you do that.
- Get in the gym!
You’re not trying to merely look ‘manly’, you want to both be the man and look like the man. You need to look like you command some damn respect and fear. You need to both be and look dangerous. Men, at their core, are just that, dangerous.
You’re technically a useless man if you don’t have the capacity to be a dangerous man. You’re useless to your community, your tribe, your family. If you can’t protect, you can’t do the thing that’s fundamental to masculinity.
And by gym, I don’t mean doing curls in the mirror with a tanned and hairless body. That ain’t how men workout. I mean join a boxing gym and learn how to fight. Join a crossfit gym and get your ass kicked. Get real world strong and athletic, not consumed by the aesthetic. (Read: Testosterone Supplements (what works and what doesn’t)
- Work with your hands.
Don’t wear lifting gloves, you’re not a woman. One of the biggest discrepancies between modern, soft men, and those from past generations, is their hands.
Men once worked with their hands, whether it was doing masculine work or working on their houses, you know, fixing things as men do.
Today we moisturize, we wear workout gloves, we use our hands to type and text not to hammer and shovel and bail. Popeye was created as a masculine figure, as was his arch enemy, both had massive forearms.
When you train your hands and your grip strength, you develop your forearms, and big forearms are very masculine. Call it ‘man cleavage’, because that’s the effect it has on women.
If you want to develop man strength/grip strength, try this program, it’s called Man Strength, and you get get it here..
- Trim but don’t go too far.
Masculinity is wild, or it has that capacity. You have to actually have the goods. Today the most popular videos and articles are those that focus on the things, the details, but not the foundation. You actually have to have what it takes. You have to be dangerous.
While masculinity is wild, if you want to look more manly today it’s also about success. You can’t look like a homeless fella. Get your hair cut every two weeks. Have a beard, I do, but keep it relatively trimmed.
Just don’t do all the eyebrows, manicures, pedicures, and the feminine things that men do these days. Look successful, not metrosexual.
Some easy archetypes would be Theodore Roosevelt, with his well-kept mustache, Tom Selleck, Sean Connery with his sometimes beard,
- Dress simpler.
Don’t be a fancy pants. Don’t be a peacock. Be a man. Dress like a man. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to dress down, you just don’t need all of the bracelets and fancy accessories that have become the norm these days.
Simpler is better if you’re trying to look masculine. If you want to look like something in between a real man and a fairy, then adorn yourself with every kind of accessory you can.
A man should wear a watch, always a watch, a gold chain if he wants, a good belt, but no bracelets, no rings other than the wedding one. Forget about the fancy sox. Forget about the wallet chain or whatever they’re called. And don’t jazz up your belt, simple leather.
- Loosen them jeans.
No man should ever wear anything resembling a skinny jean. Get real jeans. If you’re jacked they’ll inevitably be a little tight around the quads, but they’ll be broken in. This goes for all pants, don’t wear skinny pants. Women, by God, keep wearing them, but it’s feminine to wear skinny jeans.
It’s better to wear whatever the hell your old man wears than to adopt that silly style.
- Increase Your Testosterone Levels!
When we look at masculine traits, Psychology Today has an interesting point in an article I came across:
“The majority masculine traits are directly or indirectly related to the amount of testosterone available in a person’s body. On average, men’s testosterone levels are ten to forty-five times higher than women’s.” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-brothers-keeper/201410/the-stigma-masculinity)
Testosterone is what makes men, men, and low testosterone will send your masculine traits plummeting.
The big problem is that testosterone is on the decline with men, so we have to take this not only more seriously, but into our own hands as well.
The higher your testosterone levels, the more masculine you will be and appear.
Every man needs help in this area.
Start with the Man Diet book, get your free copy here
Get your bottles of Man Greens here
- Be more competitive.
Today we’re told that being competitive is a bad thing, which makes absolutely no sense, but that’s what we’re told. We’re told that it’s destructive, along with other male traits like aggression, dominance, and stoicism.
The truth is that there’s something very inate in men that makes us want to be better than the next guy. That’s not something to be ashamed of or to hide from, it simply is. Thus, being a part of your nature, you should fuel that fire because being competitive will be an asset in life.
It will lead to more success, more meaning, happiness, and achievement.
Foster that competitive nature within yourself. Don’t run from it. (Read: How to Develop an Iron Will)
- Be more stoic.
Stoicism is a choice, but the American Psychological Association listed it among the things that makes masculinity ‘toxic’.
Stoicism is good, 100% good, and those that practice it become powerful, not victims to events or a bad state of mind, but able to understand that it’s not the thing that matters, but how we choose to react to it that matters most of all.
There can’t be anything bad about that, and it’s something you, too, should aim to become, a stoic.
You can’t see yourself as a victim as a stoic. You won’t feel sorry for yourself, you won’t allow yourself to feel down, you will only do what you have to do and what you must do to win in life.
- Be rough around the edges.
Today we teach manners before manhood. That’s an ass-backward approach to teaching boys how to be men.
Be a man before you aim to be a gentleman. Don’t fret over style, accessories, or aesthetics if you haven’t the barbarian virtues won.
Theodore Roosevelt put it best when talking about his nation on the whole, but it applies to the individual as well:
“Over-sentimentality, over-softness, in fact washiness and mushiness are the great dangers of this age and of this people. Unless we keep the barbarian virtues, gaining the civilized ones will be of little avail.”
If a man isn’t dangerous enough to easily defeat bad men who are dangerous, then the ease, the softness, the emotion of human relationships, the civility we enjoy in our society, is lost.
It’s not enough for a man to know how to dial 9-1-1 and to wait for a cop to come to his rescue. By all means dial the number, but in the 15-minutes it takes for them to get there you’d better be able to successfully take matters into your own hands.
Be good at being a man before you even think about being a gentleman.
If you take that to heart, if you get in touch with who you are as a man, remove any feminine aspects from your personality, forge the barbarian virtues that are masculinity, and then polish it up with good, simple style.
You have to be a man before you can even think about being a gentleman. We’re lacking that
How to Look More Manly
The easiest way to look more manly is to be more manly. What’s being more manly? For that, you have to go back to its base, to be better at being a man not just merely good. Men are utilitarian.
We need to be able to protect our family, our women, our tribe, so get good at protecting, be a good fighter, warrior, learn to use guns and so forth. Learn how to fix things around your house. Become more successful, be the provider, the protector, not the fella wasting his money on clothes he can’t afford, looking silly in the process.
Adjust who you look to for style tips.
Look to Frank Sinatra, John Wayne, and Teddy, not the latest celebrity with estrogen-filled veins.