You’re here because you’re getting after it.

This tribe is filled with hustlers, with guys wanting to improve and grow and learn.

It doesn’t matter if that desire for improvement is with your health and physique or business and life – or all of the above – it’s that desire that makes you a man.

It’s ambition, in it’s truest form, and it’s a big part of the reason that you wake up every morning.

You have to be a man before you can be a gentleman. ~ John Wayne

There’s manhood, and there’s the man that etiquette, society, and the inner workings of our tribes demand you possess if you want to thrive and coexist with other humans.

You need to be a man in the barbaric, base form of manliness, before you can have the refined, intellectual, intelligent, kind, and caring manliness.

Without the foundation of strength, everything else will crumble.

You cannot have peace and freedom if you’re not able to win it, earn it, and defeat the opposite.

Be Dangerous

You rise every morning to hunt. If you don’t kill your family doesn’t eat.

That’s why we first woke up, along with the need to defend and protect, we have to be dangerous. While we now provide for by earning enough to ensure we have enough, we still need to be dangerous. It’s a part of being a man, an aspect that we can’t turn away from.

Do Manly Things

I get asked daily by guys on the site wondering how they can ‘feel like men’. The answer is very simple: do manly shit.

Outsiders will look at it and think it’s archaic and barbaric, which it is, but there’s nothing wrong with that. If you want to feel like a man, fight, hunt, drink beer with the fellas, fish, workout, bed your lady.

Think of things that you think are manly, like fixing the house, and do them. You’ll feel like a man.

Aim for Self-Reliance

You rise to acquire skills that will serve you when you can’t ask someone else for help.

If you’ve ever had money problems you’ll know how important it is to be able to replace your own sink or put in a toilet or replace your hot water tank rather than spending the thousands that could come along with the aide.

Improve Every Day.

Re-read that. Let it sink in.

There are no easy days. It may suck to a degree, but living a life without purpose, without improvement is far worse than working hard every day and waking up early every morning.

This is why you wake up…

It isn’t about chasing money or women or acquiring things to improve your perceived status. No. You rise every day because you understand what your role is as a man, and what an insanely important gift this is, to be able to live, to be able to work, to be able to breathe, and to waste a minute, a breath, is to degrade the sacrifice of those who gave you this gift, be they in uniform or in your family photo.

You’re a man.

That should be a powerful statement.

Make it so.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –



This site is called Average 2 Alpha.

It’s polarizing. If you don’t take the time to understand what the alpha is on this site, you’re likely to pass through without spending much time here.

If, however, you do read the articles on this site you’re going to see that ‘the alpha’ is simply the best man you can become.

Biology and society have some say in who this man is (you’re going to be strong, smart, dangerous, and accomplished), but you’re going to be able to define who he is and what he does based on your idea of the ideal.

Within the framework of what a man is, you’re going to be able to craft your ideal.

We need that framework, though.

We need to understand what it is to be a man, so that we can build on something solid, and build something lasting.

This definition includes ‘the man’s man’.

Women want him and men want to be him.

A couple years ago I packed my life into a trailer, latched it on to the back of my truck, and drove from Vancouver to Calgary to live in a new town, in a house I’d just bought.

I was excited as can be.

Halfway through what should have been a 9 or 10 hour drive, my GMC 2500 started overheating.

I used to work at a mechanic shop, so I knew a bit about trucks, but this was something I couldn’t fix. I’d fill the thing with coolant, it would be fine for 30-minutes, then it would overheat again.

I popped the hood, poured more coolant in, then saw it dripping through to the ground beneath the engine. There was a hole in the pipe, hence the coolant wasn’t actually getting to where it needed to be.

Out of my league, I called a tow truck.

We were in the middle of nowhere on a long weekend and the garage’s in town would most likely be completely closed.

I drove around with the tow truck fella until we found a guy working on his own vehicle in a garage he ran. This was long-past closing hours. We weren’t going to get the right pipe from the parts shop, so he could have easily turned me away and told me to deal with it two days from then when all of the shops re-open. But he didn’t.

He welcomed me into his shop after a long day and began taking a look. Ten minutes into helping me out he got a call from his wife, whom he told he’d be a while. Twenty minutes after that his wife came by the shop and brought the both of us a little bite to eat.

He continued to work on my truck and within an hour I was set to go with a makeshift tube taking the place of the rubber pipe that had a gaping hole in it and I was back on the road.

That mechanic was a man’s man. He didn’t say many words. He was ready to help when someone else needed it. We know who these guys are. We’ve grown up with them as our father’s, uncle’s, brothers.

They hunt, fish, fight, enjoy sports and a beer, and they’re the rock that others build their lives upon.

They’re also a dying breed.

But they don’t have to be.

Odds are you’re reading this because you don’t want to be lumped together with the pussies and pansies that are making up an increasingly large majority of our males in society.

You want to be a man’s man. You want to be the rock of your household. You want to be self-reliant and tough. You want to be the guy who does what has to be done, not what he wants to do in the moment.

1. Define your ideal.

Men need a pursuit.

Women need men to have a pursuit.

I get emails daily about how to attract women and how to keep them. On some level, it’s not about the woman, it’s about whether or not you wake up with a purpose.

Women are attracted to men who are improving, growing, conquering, and winning.

This is great!

You need to win to feel as though you were here for a reason, and while you’re at it you get to attract women, awesome.

Define what you want in life and who you want to become.

We’re going to talk about this more in #9, for now, though, do this:

Write down your perfect day, if you had to live that day for the rest of your life. Where do you life? Who do you wake up next to? What do you do for work? What are your hobbies? Get in detail about the sights and sounds and smells and write it all down. Make it a short story about your ideal day.

2. Find archetypes.

Before you find archetypes, go back over your ideal and multiply it.

I’ve done that exercise before, then I’ve hung around with a pal or two who’s thinking on a bigger level and I’ve had to go back and revise.

The simplest way to do this from a numbers standpoint is to 10x everything. Make it bigger, then reverse engineer how you’re going to accomplish it.

Then, find people who’ve done what you want to do. Real people. In your industry and niche or even the realm of entrepreneurship or whatever you’re tackling.

Study them.

See what they did right and where they had to learn a tough lesson.

Find archetypes in history as well. (Read This: 5 Models of Manliness)

If you want to live an adventurous life, study Shackleton or Theodore Roosevelt. Read about Captain James Cook and David Livingstone.

If you want to become rich, study Carnegie and Rockefeller. Both began life poor but ended wildly wealthy.

Find guys who’ve laid the path and see what they did. Learn.

The definitions of what it is to be a man’s man won’t include wealth, and I don’t think they have to. They should, however, include accomplishment.

Whether you’re an accomplished businessman, hunter, fisher, outfitter, explorer, writer, or whatever, you need to be good – even great – at something to fulfill your purpose and reason for being here. Hence, defining that thing and doing all you can to make it a reality is a must.

3. Become a jack of all trades.

Know how to fix your truck – or at least the basics of auto repair.

Know how to hunt and fish.

Be the guy others go to for help and be the guy who doesn’t have to call another guy for help.

The best way to do this, oddly enough, is to ask for help!

I had a neighbour who recently passed away (God bless the guy), who helped me with a lot of stuff around my house. He showed me how to fix this and that and now I can do it on my own. Without him it would have been tough.

My old man has a library full of ‘for Dummies’ books, and now uses youtube when he can’t figure something out on his own. He’s done a great job with my folk’s house.

4. Work with your hands no matter what your work may be.

We need to create something with our hands.

Work is becoming abstract in that we do something or sell something and money is deposited into our account electronically.

Less and less do we create things with our hands, but the joy that comes from actually creating things and building things cannot be replicated by the abstractness of sales or marketing.

It’s important to at the very least have a hobby, or go through the frustration of fixing things in your home or vehicle. We need the tangible of building and fixing, not just the monetary gains of a career.

5. Learn chivalry.

Become a man, then become a gentleman.

Be dangerous and strong, but kind, caring, and thoughtful. (Read This: 7 Ways to Be The Man She Needs You to Be)

Open the door for a lady. Pay the bill, don’t go ‘dutch’. Put others first. Learn manners. Have the capacity for brutality but hide it.

6. Learn how to fight.

Men have more muscle mass, stronger bones, and our hormones reward fighting, aggression, and victory.

That is, testosterone surges when we win, when we compete, and when we fight. (Read This: Why You Need to Fight)

Learn who to become the last line of defense. Learn how to be dangerous.

You’re both the provider and the protector. You cannot be either if you’re also a victim.

7. Learn how to shoot.

You may not like it but a gun is the best form of self-defense you can have.

If you expect to defend your home, your land, from an armed intruder without arming yourself, you’re being silly and irresponsible.

No matter how unlikely it is that your house is going to get broken into, learn how to defend it with the best, most efficient method on the market.

It’s also the most humane way to kill an animal so you can eat it.

8. Become the best at what you do.

Don’t settle for good, aim for great.

This isn’t motivational bullshit. You’re here, and you have a couple options while you’re here.

You either go for the motions, waste the gifts you’ve been given and the time you have, or you do the best with what you have and with where you are.

Those are your options. Why in God’s great name would you settle for anything less than the best if the best is an option?

It makes no sense to fall into the rut of mediocrity when you can get up earlier, work harder, learn more, and attempt what few others are willing to attempt. (Read This: Fighting Mediocrity)

As a man, there should be no choice. It’s your duty to be at your best, to constantly improve.

9. Define your code.

Who are you and what do you stand for?

How can you live a great, meaningful, masculine life if you don’t know what you stand for?

How can you lead if you don’t know why you’re leading and where you’re leading?

Define your code.

John Wayne said, a man’s gotta have a code, a creed to live by.

I wholeheartedly agree.

There’s so much uncertainty in our world that we need to know what we live for and we need to have an idea, a set of rules, virtues, and values that guide us.

Define that code today. Don’t spend another day wandering. March forward and bring others with you.

When times get tough – and they will – it’s this code that will guide your actions and your decisions.

10. Have the courage to be the man, ignorant of the trends.

The man’s man is the constant.

Though trends and fads come and go, he remains true to who he is.

The code I mentioned in the previous point is necessary.

My old man has a code. He’s been a constant throughout my life. Through ups and downs and hardships, he’s remained steady.

Faith has a lot to do with this. It’s easier to define why you’re here and how you act when you have something greater guiding you, but even if you don’t, define what values guide your actions.

Whether you’re a Christian or not, read the book of Proverbs. Read it like a book, not like a Bible.

It’s a great guide to living a good, fruitful, and strong life.



About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –



Most people do not want to be told they are doing a bad job. It can be hard to listen to someone give you a list of ways you could be better. Especially if you consider yourself to be a manly man, you might think you are too good for the advice of anyone else.

But, criticism does not have to be bad. Criticism is simply evaluation or judgment, bad or good. It can come from anyone – brother, sister, parents, friends, and co-workers.

Criticism can be hard to hear at times, but it can also be incredibly beneficial to both an individual and a company. Some people have no problem with criticism and might even enjoy it, while others – typically those who have lower self-esteem – are hurt by criticism. However, as long as it is done in a constructive way, criticism will help you better yourself or your company. Constructive criticism offers insight into the way your words and actions are perceived by others.

Many people often fear criticism and are sensitive to it, even if it is constructive. The combination of anxiety, low self-esteem and the fear of receiving bad criticism often makes people reject constructive criticism. Constructive criticism might come in an area that you feel you have already mastered, or it might just be in an area that you do not care to improve in therefore you are not open to constructive criticism. Especially in the event of a tense situation, such as addiction recovery, it can be difficult to accept advice for improving yourself and your lifestyle. Fear of criticism could even cause some people to give up. You fear if you keep trying you might be criticized at some point, therefore you stop working toward your goal to avoid that scenario.

Constructive criticism can also be applied to a business scenario. Businesses can receive constructive criticism from a variety of avenues – via customer reviews, other business owners or companies that review businesses. Interestingly, I was buying some hockey skates last month and, as every customer, was looking from some hockey skates review or an opinion from other customers on the Internet. While not all reviews are always laid out the best way, it is easy to find constructive criticism in reviews. Oftentimes, people leave a review because the experience was great or terrible – rarely do people leave reviews for a mediocre experience. When consumers leave a review they usually offer criticism without even trying. For example, they might say they were unhappy because their drink was not cold enough; this could be taken as your servers need to use more ice or you should ice your drinks for longer prior to serving. However, keep in mind there is a difference between constructive criticism and just criticism. Constructive criticism offers thoughtful feedback, while criticism is just a complaint.

Constructive criticism can be received in a variety of ways – you can ignore it, use it to improve, or use it to form a new idea. Sometimes, you might receive constructive criticism but no option for improvement. You might be told what you are doing wrong, but not how you can fix it. Therefore, you would be left to come up with your own idea. Other times, someone might offer you the problem and the solution. Then, it is up to you whether or not to accept that idea for improvement.

There are ways to deal with criticism and get the most out of it. It takes an open mind and patience, but once you decide to conquer your fear of criticism, you can see great improvement in your life.

The remainder of this article will offer some insight into how to deal with criticism and get the most out of it.

1. Listen.

The first step to dealing with criticism is simply listening to it. Decipher if the criticism offered is constructive or just rude. While it might sound like a stab at your personality, it might actually be the difference between saving your relationship or saving your job. Before you get defensive, consider if the person is actually just trying to help you better yourself.

2. Pause and respond calmly.

Don’t take the criticism personally. Don’t focus on the fact that it is being said to you, focus on the situation at hand. Once you step back from the situation and consider the goal of the criticism, respond in a calm manner and be respectful – even if you disagree with the criticism. If the critique is uncalled for, simply smile and move on. Otherwise, take advantage of the advice and put it to good use. Try to avoid reacting negatively to the person giving the criticism and just consider what they are saying, not who they are. (Read This: The Event Doesn’t Matter. Your Reaction to it Does.)

3. Manage your stress.

Take a deep breath and manage your emotions. When you are presented with criticism, it can be easy to immediately get upset and not realize the person might be right.

4. Ask questions about the criticism.

This is another reason why managing your stress and responding calmly is so important – there is a chance you could have misunderstood what they were trying to say. Ask questions to ensure you understand and to get all the details they are willing to provide. You might find the criticism even more beneficial once you dive deeper into the criticism being offered.

5. Say “thank you” for the feedback.

Let the other person know you appreciate their insight into the situation. Even if you do not accept the criticism, it is still considerate to thank them for their time and insight. You want to avoid burning any bridges and this lets them know that you at least heard what they had to say and value their efforts.

6. Ask for time to follow up on the criticism.

A follow up gives you time to consider the criticism, decide how you will handle it and respond appropriately. Consider the advice offered to you and if it works for you. While considering the criticism, weigh out the pro’s and con’s and try to see the situation from the other person’s view. Oftentimes, it can be hard to see how changing your ways or actions could be beneficial because you already feel you are doing the right thing.

7. Ponder the value of feedback.

Constructive criticism helps you become a better man. It will help you improve your skills, your product, your relationships and even help you reach higher expectations.

While it can be hard to hear constructive criticism from anyone, especially a peer, keep in mind that they see things from the outside. They can see the situation through a different view then you are.

8. Embrace it.

Accept that you are not perfect – nobody is. Think of some of the greatest people you know, they did not get to where they are today by ignoring all the constructive criticism you ever received. Focus on changing your perspective of yourself and the criticism you are receiving.

Make a list of a few of your known flaws. Does the constructive criticism relate to those? This exercise is a great way to see the areas in your life that constructive criticism is necessary and can readily be applied to. Also, take this time to work on being less sensitive. You will be more upset if you never improve than you would be by just listening to the constructive criticism being offered.

9. Make a game plan for applying it.

Once you have analyzed it, taken a step back to take away your emotions and pondered the feedback, make a game plan for how you will apply it to your life. Do a little more research and consider what will be the best method for you. You will be the most productive if you construct a plan for applying the criticism in a way you know will work best for you and one you will stick with.

Constructive Criticism

Constructive criticism is how we better ourselves. It is how we meet expectations and improve our relationships and outcomes. Sometimes, we can be our own critic, but it is also important to receive constructive criticism from others as well. This is the only way to learn about our weaknesses, therefore it is the only way we can improve. Remember, while feedback is not easy to receive, it is not always easy to give either. Most of the time, as long as the criticism is constructive, the person giving it is a little hesitant. But, they want you to better yourself, therefore they are offering their insight and their advice.

Constructive criticism also forces you to think outside the box. It forces you to try to see yourself through the eyes of the person offering the criticism and to consider how their advice could actually benefit you. This guides you away from bad practices, or just mediocre ones, and guides you toward better practices. Constructive criticism is not meant to be a personal hit; it is a beneficial form of communication.

Keep an open mind and focus on the ways you will improve. Once you learn to appreciate constructive criticism you will find yourself becoming a much better person, and will also find that you are much more productive. If applied appropriately, you will be thankful for the constructive criticism in the end. And, it is always manly to be open to improvement.

About the Author

Steve is a writer, blogger, and fitness enthusiast with a particular love of hockey.

He writes at Honest Hockey and can be found on Twitter here.

If you want to talk health, fitness, or self-improvement, don’t hesitate to get in touch.



10 Things Any Dad Would Want for Father’s Day

I should have done a list like this for Mother’s Day, yes, but I never have any clue what my mom wants as a gift. She seems to want time with her son and daughter more than anything.

Dad’s, well, are simpler. Get them things they’ll use.

This list isn’t fancy, but it is awesome. We have a Navy SEAL watch, a knife made from wooly mammoth bone, cigars, a good work shirt, and a good boot.

We have nice things, good things, and most of all, things that your old man will actually use.

All of the things on this list are from Huckberry.com. A week or so ago I went to the mall to look for some article of clothes. I’m not a shopper. I hate it. Few places have the things I want and the act of looking for clothes is weird. I didn’t find what I was looking for, and went back to Huckberry to find something much better. If you’re a guy who doesn’t like shopping, this place has everything, and it’s always the best stuff.

  1. A knife made from wooly mammoth bone.

Every dad should give their son a knife, and every son should give their dad a knife.

A pocket knife is a timeless gift, and I use mine every day, without question.

This one happens to be made from the bone of a wooly mammoth, so it’s uniqueness is that much greater.

Check out the knife here.

  1. A wallet that carries the knife.

My old man has spent a lifetime in search of the thinnest wallet he could find. This one’s pretty damn thin, but it’s also made from good, tough leather and has good, tough stitching.

As a bonus, you can also carry your pocket knife in the damn thing.

Check out the wallet here.

  1. Two cigars.

Cigars. Two of them. What better gift?

Not only are you giving your old man an hour of relaxation, but, if you so choose, you could be giving him an hour of relaxation and conversation with his son (you).

Share a stogie with your old man on Father’s Day.

Pick up the cigars here ($19)

  1. TRX system

I love TRX. If your dad travels, this is the best thing he can bring along with him. It’ll turn any shitty hotel gym into something that’s actually pretty damn beneficial.

If you want your old man to shed a few pounds so he can stick around a while longer, this is also a good message to send.

Get your dad TRX bands here.

  1. A good shirt.


My dad tries on everything I have. He tries on new shoes, boots, jackets, and shirts.

This shirt, he’d probably try on and keep. It’s a great looking shirt that’s also durable as shite. Quality all the way. Simple. Nothing flashy. Something he can wear in the yard, the shop, or taking your mom out for a night on the town.

Pick up the shirt here.

  1. A good boot.

I wore a pair of chukka’s like this throughout Italy. I love them. They’re comfortable as shite, durable, light, and your feet don’t sweat too much when you’re walking through Rome or Florence or up a mountain in the north, looking for a bit of adventure.

Get your dad the boot here.

  1. Scotch glasses.

This is a great gift. Not all that expensive, but quality, and something he’ll actually use.

Pick up the scotch glasses here.

  1. A flask.

I have one of these. They’re awesome for camping, a little bigger than a conventional flask, so they’ll last for a week or so with a nice scotch where you’re only sipping.

It’s a great gift. I use mine a tad too much.

Get your dad the flask here.

  1. A summer loafer.

I just picked these up.

I’m not a fan of sandals. If I wear them for a long enough time, my knees, angles, Achilles, all suffer. Can’t stand sandals. Loafers are the alternative, but a really good pair seems to be around $200 – fuck that.

So I picked these up. Waiting for them to arrive as we speak.

They look awesome, durable, and you don’t have to break the bank getting them.

Get your old man a pair of loafers.

  1. A badass watch.

This is wicked.

For a son to get his old man a watch is a cool thing, especially a good one, one he’ll use in the woods, hunting, in nature, swimming, on vacation, wherever.

This would be a great gift. The smile on his face when you hand this to him would be pretty damn cool.

Get your dad this badass watch here.



Some fellas will read that title and take offense…

The man she needs me to be?

So let me add a preface…

This is also the man you need to be, but we often measure our masculinity in terms of the man we are for our lady. Even if you don’t have a lady, or even if you’re not all that concerned about being the man for her, the context of a relationship helps flesh out the masculine in relation to the feminine.

In our society we’re blending the genders.

We’re trying to make equity (where everything is the same) where what most of us would like is equality of opportunity, or even better, merit.

Here’s the reality:

Most women are feminine.

Most men are masculine.

An even greater reality is that most men want to be more masculine, they’ve just never been taught or told how to be.

And if they have been shown how to be a man, it may have been by a web site pushing pick up lines or men’s fashion – ie. tricks and aesthetics, which is almost the exact opposite of what true masculinity is.

In other corners of society (and the internet) men are told to be ashamed of their masculine traits, as if they should be sorry for their strength or aggression or assertive attitude.

Neither are good for men and neither are good for society.

We need masculine, strong, assertive, warriors leading our households and our communities, and this guiding away from said virtues begins in grade school where our way of educating is feminine, it’s tailored to the wonderful girls we’re raising, but not the boys. (Read This: 9 Mental Changes Every Boy Need to Make to Become a Man)

I remember being in school. Half the time I was looking outside. Sometimes I’d even get up and go outside in the middle of class just to get out of the sedated atmosphere of the classroom.

As a result, we have generations of young men and boys who’ve been either told that the masculine is wrong, that their natural inquisitions aren’t right, or that they should aspire to be something, to live a form of masculine that’s just weak, pussified, vain and even evil.

We have young men that think being with a woman is purely about sex. Of course it’s a big part of it, but the masculine and the feminine in a relationship is a part of why we’re here. It’s the yin and the yang, the lock and key.

To make it work as well as it should, we need to be men.

To make life work as well as it should, we need to be men. Masculine men. Not the metrosexual pansies found on pick up sites or AXE commercials.

So, the following is a list of characteristics you should watch out for. I like lists. They’re easy for the brain to conceive of. They bring things into checklists and make it simpler to comprehend.

Much of what’s in the list has been learned through experience. I’ve been a pansy, a pussy, and I’ve been a man. The two are determined in decisions and in our view of our Self. Being the man doesn’t have to be tied to accomplishment (though it helps), just like you don’t need accomplishment to be confident.

You need to know who you are, what you stand for, and live these values unwaveringly.

How to Be the Man She Needs You To Be (And You Need To Be)

1. Know what you want, both for your own life and for the relationship.

Know what you really want in life. Know what you want from the relationship. Think about this. Spend some time thinking about this.

If you don’t know what you want, how can you be a man on a mission? How can you be assertive if you don’t know what to be assertive about?

Set a plan. Then have everything in your life move toward that plan.

2. Be calm, but assertive.

Confidence isn’t boisterous; it’s calm. To be the man for your lady and for yourself you can’t walk around thinking you have to prove that you’re the man. You’re the lion. You’re the head of the pride. Take solace in the fact that you are who you are. (Read This: A Tue Man Is Confident But Never Arrogant)

Sure, you’re improving, but that’s a part of who you are. You’re a man on the rise and that confidence should lead to assertiveness as well as the knowledge that you know what you want. Few take the time to ever determine that.

3. Be the lion, not the peacock.

This is embarrassing to say, but I’ve been saying I want to kick that guys ass way too much lately. It’s weird. It’s not me. It doesn’t even matter the situation. Sometimes, if we’re not feeling like the man, we look to say something that proves our strength and assertiveness.

It’s stupid. It’s weak. It’s insecure.

You are the man, you don’t have to say things or plant seeds of masculinity in the mind of your lady. Be calm. Be confident. Be the lion, not the peacock.

4. Train your hands for war.

Men are men because of testosterone. We cannot talk about masculinity without talking about testosterone. They are, largely, one in the same. Testosterone, and how it works in the male body, gives us insight into why men are here and what being good at being a man, is.

Men get a bump in testosterone when we compete, another when we win, and another when we fight. Train your hands to do what men are here to do, protect.

Pick up a combat sport, be it boxing, kickboxing, BJJ, or whatever you fancy. The quiet confidence that comes from knowing that you can handle yourself if necessary is impossible to replicate in any other arena.

5. Be engaged in daily struggle.

We need struggle.  We need something that challenges us.

The worst guys I’ve seen are the ones who lay around all day. They play videogames. They’re not training or hustling. They’re not getting after it.

They’re not improving. They’re not struggling. They’re not suffering. They’re wasting away.

How can you live like that? How can you inspire confidence in your lady if you’re sitting on your ass being provided for, not providing?

Get up earlier.

Take cold showers.

Work hard in the gym.

Join a boxing gym.

Have a massive goal in your work.

Some guys will comment on this post or email me saying they’re just not motivated.

It doesn’t matter!

This is your life. Are you going to be 80, fat, having accomplished nothing, dying with regret, or will you get off your ass and start training, working, and LIVING?

Try This: The Lost Art of Discipline

6. Trust her, or dump her.

There’s no benefit to either of you to be suspicious of one another.

I have a natural tendency to not trust anyone. I just don’t trust people. But with a lady, if I’m with her, I trust her. She may screw me over, cheat on me, whatever. That’s a possibility in this day and age. I’m confident in who I am and that that’s more than good enough for the gal, but I can’t let that suspicious nature get in the way of the relationship.

So, I make a decision, either trust her COMPLETELY, or a break up with her. There cannot be any in between.

If you can’t trust a lady, don’t be with her. Simple. There’s no point. There’s no comfort. There’s no calm, just turmoil and stress, it’s no way to live.

7. Care for your lady.

You have to be on your own mission, your own path. You have to be the best version of yourself, that includes being a warrior and a badass if that’s who you are and want to be.

But care for her. Put her needs ahead of your own. Don’t think that being on your own path means being selfish. If you’re a man, you’re here to protect and provide.

In part, that means to serve.

Serve her. Lead her. Carry her. Aid her. Help her. Be a leader and a servant. Be confident and be humble.

This requires an asterisk…

You cannot be with a lady you’re not willing to serve or put before yourself. If you’re with someone just for the sake of being with them, or if you’re too proud to be the man we’ve talked about thus far, it’s not going to work.

Just like you have to trust her or dump her, you have to want to put her needs before your own or not be with her. Do your own shit, have your own mission, of course, but when you’re with her, she comes first. It’s just the way it is.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –



The other day I walked into a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym for the first time to learn something new.

I remember my mom telling me a conversation she had with family friend around her age. The guy’s a seemingly smart guy, but he actually told my mom that he has very little left to learn.

That’s a scary place to be, in a position where you think you know everything you need to know.

There’s no more growth left. There’s nothing left to get excited about.

Poor, miserable prick.

My mom’s in her seventies. She admits that she has so much to learn that she can’t even wrap her head around it. Every day provides a new lesson, an opportunity to learn something new, and the best among us chase it.

The Practicing Mind

There’s science behind this ‘chasing’ learning.

A couple years ago I read the Practicing Mind.

It’s an incredible book that kicked off (or renewed) my desire to try new things and to have hobbies that I’m actively engaged in.

I took up archery. I bought a rifle and shotguns and began learning how to shoot. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is the latest in that line of things I’m trying to get better at, and while each serve a purpose – knowing how to shoot enables you to hunt your own food, learning a new form of martial arts equips you better to defend yourself and others – it’s the act of learning where the true power is found.

The author, Thomas Sterner, lays out how the actual act of practicing makes you better at learning.

The greatest at what they do aren’t innately great. Da Vinci was a great practiser of art. As was Michelangelo. They were able to remain in the moment, to forget about where they wanted to be or what they wanted to do, and simply learn.

That’s life.

It’s forgetting the destination and focusing on the process.

The destination requires the process, the process doesn’t require the destination. In fact, when you’re focused on the destination instead of on the process, you bring yourself further away from your desired outcome.

Thus, the better you become at learning, at practicing a craft, at bringing your mind into the moment and not allowing it to venture off into the future or the past, the more efficient you become at the art of mastery.

Men Need Hobbies

Always be engaged in some form of learning.

You don’t need more than one thing, but you need something beyond your craft, your work. You need an escape outside of what you do for a living that’s beneficial to your mind and improves your ability to learn.

Men also need another place to put their energy.

We’re here to learn, to grow, and to conquer. Men need skills. We need to feel like we’re improving at something. That something isn’t always our career. And even if the career is creeping along far more slowly than we like, we can improve in other areas.

Simply put, men need hobbies. Better yet, we need hobbies that make us better men and that make us better at being men.

We’re here to protect and provide, so why not become better at protecting and more equipped to provide?

Hence, walking into a BJJ gym.

I haven’t boxed in years, and getting my head knocked around every day wasn’t as appealing as learning something completely new.

Find a hobby.

Practice learning.

Be Legendary.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –