Home Stoic Manliness A Man’s Mindset: You’re Not Here for You

A Man’s Mindset: You’re Not Here for You




We can’t live for ourselves. It doesn’t work like that, at least not from the perspective of getting the most out of life. We need to be for others. We need reasons rooted in emotions to become better men, to win.

I live on my own, in a house with my pup. I don’t have a family living with me that I can look in the eyes daily and see why I’m doing what I’m doing – and what I’m doing is simply trying to get the most out of life and be the best man I can be every day. So sometimes I forget.

I forget about my folks, my Maker, my close friends and even the core group of guys who follow this site, comment and play a role in the tribe we’re building here, and I simply exist.

Yesterday was such a day.

I let the day happen to me.

I slept in. I ate the wrong foods and made the wrong decisions in my day. I smoked stogies and drank whiskey with some pals, which was awesome, but I let that decision lead to another late start today.

I got very little done because I was existing, I was living for me, not for my folks, not for my God, not to honor them nor the family that exists in my future, and I certainly wasn’t the man I talk about being on this site, in these articles.

I failed because I forgot that this isn’t about me, it’s about you, my folks, my God, honouring the lot of you by living life as a good man, an ambitious man, a man who knows he’s dying daily, that time is fleeting and finite, that life is a gift and to waste even a single day like yesterday was essentially wasted save for a wonderful time with the pals and a cigar I shan’t forget (Padron 1962).

So today is a new day, a chance to reset, not to dwell on the failure of yesterday but to be aware of what led to it, the selfishness that brought about laziness and weakness.

Be aware of who you were, don’t beat yourself up about it, but be aware. Without self-awareness we can’t move forward because we’ll always ignorantly slide back into the traps that confine us to a weak, average, selfish life.

Know. Who. You. Serve.

I’m not here for me, I can’t be. There’s no pull in serving yourself. There’s no greater source of energy, no passion, no deep hunger to provide for the man in the mirror. For others, people you love and truly care about, however, you’d do anything for them. You’re a man for fuck’s sake, that’s why you’re here, to protect, provide, and procreate. (Read This: 7 Rules That Separate Men from Mere Males)

Be clear about who you serve and why. What are you doing for them and what are you trying to be for them? Moments of weakness will arise, they always do, but they’re challenges, they’re tests of honor and character and opportunities to win, to take a step forward.

Most people don’t acknowledge these tests, they think it’s ‘them’, it’s ‘life’, and life is to be flowed with, not battled or navigated. That’s bullshit. If you have any notion, any ambition of what you think you can be, even if it’s an ideal, an archetype in history that you’ve seen can be live, accomplished, and realized, you know that it’s a struggle.

Being mediocre is easy. You can live in fear. You can be selfish. You can exist merely for yourself.

Being great is a daily struggle and it’s those we love that propel us to take that challenge head on, like men.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live. He’ll give you the kick in the ass needed to help you live a big, ambitious life.
You can contact him at –


  1. If you don’t trust yourself to live for yourself, then you’re kind of a piece of shit. Trying to find purpose in others will always let you down.

  2. Thank you for your honesty. We must wrestle everyday with passion.


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Chad Howse

Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

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