In his book, The Way of Men, Jack Donovan, talks about a different angle to the manliness that’s littered throughout the interwebs. Rather than talking about ‘being a good man’, Donovan writes and researches what it is to be good at being a man.
That’s something many of us never come face to face with. We don’t think about it. Largely because our society frowns upon what it is to be good at being a man. Our culture is seeing it as archaic and barbaric, while our DNA proves its necessity to our mental health, but also the success of our civilization.
When there are barbarians at our gates – which there are – they must be defeated with barbarity in kind.
Our politicians and pundits want to explain the evil that threatens our freedom and livelihood. They want to inhibit our liberty and even blame the strong. The destruction of our free and liberal society will be the result so long as the head is our weakest faction.
Steven Ilardi, Ph. D, has dedicated his life to studying depression. His findings that are written down in the book, the Depression Cure, go to Donovan’s being good at being a man pursuit.
In studying depression rates among hunter-gatherer societies he found nearly no cases. None.
That is, when men act like men, when we’re hunting during the day, eating the wild game that we’ve evolved to need, while living in close-knit communities that require our protection, we live with the clarity and the purpose we should all be living with.
No getting down. No whining or crying or being the little pussy that has become the norm in a society that becomes weaker and more dependent with each generation.
So how do you become good at being a man?
1. You fight.
That’s what we’re bred for. We have hormones that women are lacking in that make us stronger, more athletic, and more aggressive.
Researchers have shown that men actually experience an increase in testosterone levels, a massive jolt of up to 500%, when we compete. We get that same jolt when we win. And we experience a depletion when we lose.
We’re born, bred, and designed to fight and to compete. But it’s these necessary aspects of manhood that are being outlawed and ridiculed by a society strongly leading toward the feminine and turning its back on the masculine that keeps it safe, that builds its roads and buildings and kills its food.
So go in the opposite direction. You need to. You may think this to be archaic and unnecessary, but it’s who you are and it’s a part of why you’re here. Yes, you need to get stronger, you need to be able to defend yourself and your family and you need to be able to kick a little ass.
The effeminate, pussified, weak male who’s caught between the masculine and the feminine is confused, depressed, and useless.
Don’t be that guy.
Be a man. And get good at being one by fighting.
2. You can hunt.
If you’re a meat-eater, and you should be, humans need to eat meat and this rise of veganism is only possible because of innovation. Without supplementation veganism is an incomplete diet. So, yes, eat meat. But kill it if you do. (Read This: How to Eat Like a Man)
This spring will be my first hunting outing, so it’s not like I’m coming into this with years of experience or even growing up around it. It’s something that I see as vital. It’s the only way to truly see the great outdoors, to get into it, in danger, in the land of predators and become one yourself.
And yes, men are predators. Our eyes are situated on the front of our heads, like those of bears and wolves and lions and tigers, but unlike those of horses and dear and elk and moose and fowl. We don’t care about what’s beside us or behind us, our concern is only on what we’re stalking, killing, and eating.
The act of hunting isn’t even the killing, it’s the pursuit, the stalk, the arduous oftentimes unsuccessful hike or climb. You can’t be a lazy fat ass and truly hunt.
3. You can defend.
As in, you charge yourself with defending those who depend on you rather than relying on a 15 minute response time from the police. The police are a necessity, but a man cannot depend on them to be there when his home’s being robbed or attacked.
Defense, however, doesn’t just mean defending your home, it means standing up for those who can’t stand for themselves. It means protecting those who need protection, and not just physically.
Europe needs more men. (Read This: Why Our Society Needs to Man Up!)
As their women are assaulted and raped by a culture of immigrants that don’t respect women, they need men to stand by them, behind them, and for them. They need the physicality that men bring.
4. You can work.
I saw a thought by sociologist not long ago. The theory seems sound, that men need to work, that it’s a part of our identity, whereas being unemployed for a woman can be crushing and horrible, they can find meaning and purpose through other avenues.
Men are breadwinners. We are as such because of our hormones. Before a functioning society, before cities and towns and commerce, men hunted. We literally brought home food. That evolved over the years, but it’s been pretty consistent up until the last 20-40 years, primarily the last 15.
People will say that this role is a ‘societal construct’. But think deeper, think about why it is. Women can get pregnant. There’s a period in their lives where they can’t work, they can’t provide, it’s this fact that also gives them a very powerful sense of meaning. Before commerce and capitalism, men, both because we can’t get pregnant and because we’re bigger and stronger and bred more for hunting, had to provide for those who depended on us.
As societies were developed, this didn’t change. Our purpose was still to bring home food, sustenance, and provide protection as our families grew. This is deeply rooted in our DNA, it’s not something we can shake.
The obvious question is, what if you’re unemployed?
Work still needs to be done to give you that sense of purpose and manliness. Find chores around the house. Fix things. If you don’t know how, learn. And make finding a job a job. Dedicate yourself to finding any kind of work. Pride cannot play into the job hunt. Fuck what other people think, it’s the fact that you’re doing what you’re bred to do that matters.
5. You can march toward your fears.
Within a tribe there were the useful and the useless. I can’t see the useless lasting very long, maybe, the useful, too. There is much to take into consideration when figuring out which men were useful to their hunter-gatherer tribe.
For one, they had to have strength and skill. They needed both the capacity to kill and the skill to carry it out. Then they needed the gameness that would enable them to face the beast before them.
6. You can provide.
To start acting like a man you have to start living for someone other than the man in the mirror.
Boys are selfish. Their lives are allowed to exist purely for their own pleasure and enjoyment and even success. Men have responsibilities. It’s life. We’re supposed to be depended on. We’re not designed to live exclusively for ourselves.
In his research on depression, Stephen Ilardi found nearly no cases of depression in hunter gatherer societies. The men hunted, the women cared for their kin. Hunting is serving. Working should be serving. You aren’t designed to consume, you’re created and evolved to provide.
All of this coming from a single guy, I know. But sometimes it’s those who don’t have that understand what’s necessary and needed. I bought a dog in part to have a responsibility. What I’m seeing from friends who have families is that providing for your seeds and your lady gives life an entirely deeper meaning, but it also lights a fire under your ass that can’t be replicated by the desire to buy and consume and keep up the Jones’.
7. You can die daily.
When death was more immediate our attention also had to be. Today we live to 80+ and much of what used to kill us no longer poses a threat.
To compound this lack of death in our culture is technologies that bring our attention out of the present. Relationships no longer have to be real, they can exist entirely on the other end of a computer.
If you want to start acting like a man, enter the real world.
Be in reality. Know who you are and what you are. Be self-aware enough to understand when you’re getting lost in what pulls so many away from life and into a world where they don’t have to struggle, to hustle, or feel life’s highs and lows and especially we all inevitably go through with real relationships.
The Stoics, those fine philosophers who lived their philosophy often had the practice of dying daily. They came to the point through meditation and intense thought where their death was upon them. They died. They felt what it was like to have where we are in life, end.
It’s a practice all men need to acquire, along with identifying what we appreciate on a daily basis. Without an understanding of how brief life is, but also the knowledge of how good we really have it, we cannot live as the protectors, defenders, leaders, and warriors that we were put here to become.
ACTING LIKE A MAN
There’s what has to be a small but vocal minority that thinks gender isn’t real. They think that roles are fluid or that they don’t exist.
This doesn’t really matter until we start talking about purpose, meaning, fulfilment, mental health, and maybe most importantly, usefulness. That is, how we can best serve.
Too often our lives are about us and not how we can best serve our fellow man. That is, essentially, why we’re here and why helping makes us feel so damn good. Giving feels a heck of a lot better than receiving and when you line up who you are and what you love in life along with what you’re good at and couple it with aiding others, you find a calling, a purpose.
You have to know who you are and what you are. You’re a man. Bring this reality into the decisions you make and the things you pursue and you’ll serve a purpose beyond getting rich or laid. That is the essence of what it is to act like a man; it requires lending your strengths to benefit others. Without others, you’re useless. You also can’t whine like a little bitch or expect to get what you haven’t earned.
You’re a man. Act like one.
About The Author
Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live. He’ll give you the kick in the ass needed to help you live a big, ambitious life.
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