Our ideas of who we are and even who we ought to be are wrong.
We are a collection of experiences, of opinions, of ideas, perspectives, failures and successes.
We aren’t actually who we think we are. It’s almost completely subjective.
Most of these beliefs about who we are are even destructive. They pigeonhole us into acting in a way that aligns with our belief about who we ought to be and how we should act.
This removes the opportunity to take risks.
To risk is to try without knowing the outcome.
It’s to pursue the unknown, following a gut feeling more than logic or reason.
You’ve heard about ‘limiting beliefs’ before…
They’re real and destructively powerful.
But so are incorrect positive beliefs.
If you see yourself as fit, in shape, and you’re not, you won’t work hard enough to actually get there.
If your persona is built on a delusion of grandeur, you won’t have the humility to actually become what you must and who you must become.
If you see yourself as unworthy of what you want, the same result will occur.
You won’t be who you can be, so stop thinking about who you can be?
Stop attaching any idea of who you are to yourself, or who you can be to your persona.
Stop thinking anything of yourself at all…
Stop the internal dialogue, the affirmations about how you are what you are not yet because it just reaffirms that you are not yet who you want to be…
…But who you want to be may not be who you can be.
It may be influenced by marketing, by insecurity, by comparison, or by what you’ve been told you are up to this point..
…And it’s very likely to be false.
Most often false beliefs inhibit growth. And growth, real growth, is what matters.
So, kill your Self.
Kill this idea you have of who you are.
Kill the idea you have of who you’re trying to be.
Kill the perceptions you have of yourself, the inadequacies that keep you from acting on things you deep down want to act on but are too afraid to risk the downside.
At this point in your life, whether you’re 20, 30, or 90, it’s very possible that you’ve been living a lie.
It’s likely that you’re living a degraded, less free, less ambitious, less courageous version of who you are because you’ve hung on to beliefs about who you are that are just that, beliefs, subjective ideas about the man in the mirror.
That needs to end.
Don’t think you’re special, entitled to something great.
Don’t confine yourself to a specific identity, removing possibilities for radical change and growth.
It’s all subjective, so why remove optionality?
Be broader. You’re a man, not a specific kind of man.
You’re a leader, not a specific kind of leader in a specific field and if that field is taken from you your identity crumbles.
No, you’re just a leader. You lead regardless of the scenario.
For any change to happen in your life you have to admit you’re wrong about something.
You cannot change what is right, what is concrete.
So be open to it all.
Be open to the fact that you are worthy, that the risk you’ve always wanted to take is worth it, and if you fail, well, who cares?
Be humble enough to know you’re not right about even the simplest thing like who you think you are.
What I hear most from people is either an arrogance that prevents growth or a degraded idea of who they are, a lack of confidence that prevents growth.
Both prevent growth through blindness.
They won’t try something new because it’s not in line with who they think they are.
They’re above it or below it.
Either way, growth stops, learning is prevented, and it’s all because of a lie.
Stop thinking about who you are, what your place in this world is, and just be your best.
Try things that you think you’re above or below.
Stop beating yourself up – it’s all a lie that you have to stop telling yourself and you have to move on from.
We can all be better, but growth doesn’t come from false confidence, it comes by improving on things, and improving on something has to begin with the admission that you’re not as good at that thing as you think you are.
Don’t confine yourself to the narrative you’ve been telling yourself thus far.
Break it all open. It’s exciting to know that you know little.
Get after it.