A lack of decisiveness is what’s wrong with a lot of young men. They wander. They’re not assertive. They lack focus and drive and persistence. It’s an offset of society, we’ve become one where instant gratification is supreme, so we follow every desire we have. (Read This: How to Fight Your Desires)

To get what you want in life, and that’s damn well important, you have to be decisive about every little action you take. You need an overall direction and purpose to your actions, and then the little things you do in the run of a day have to align with that purpose.

Clarity is king.

When you know who you are, what your values are, what you stand for and where you’re headed, being decisive is simple, even easy.

In this article we’ll go through the 7 ways to be a more decisive man…

… And this is important not just to live a great life, but to be the man for your lady.

Let’s get into it.

1. Practice quick decision-making in the short term, for small things.

While being more decisive in the grand scheme is what you want, being more decisive and assertive in the immediate minutia is where you’ll hone this necessary skill. Practice making fast decisions.

Decide what you want to eat, quickly. Decide what movie you want to watch or what clothes you want to wear. This will actually have another effect…

Our brains only have the capacity to make a certain amount of decisions in the run of a day properly and optimally, after we reach our capacity – and it’s different for everyone – our energy levels decline, and our ability to make the best decisions diminishes. So if you’re spending 30-minutes figure out what to wear in the morning, you’re wasting that energy-making power on something that’s useless. (Read This: How to Be More Decisive)

Make fewer decisions, and make them faster.

2. Practice sticking to what you decided

Practice living with your decisions. Make them fast, then see them through.

You see this a lot with younger guys, and older guys who don’t have the respect of their seeds or spouses, they jump from thing to thing, job to job, hobby to hobby. They lack consistency.

Great men are relentlessly consistent. They know what they want and they don’t deviate from the path to get it.

Practice this consistency with your small decisions. It will transfer to the bigger things in life.

3. Spend a day and figure out what your ideal life would be. Without clarity, you can’t be decisive.

Clarity demands our time and attention.

We rarely spend enough time thinking and planning. We’re always being busy for the sake of being busy. It’s useless. Imagine spending your entire life being busy on the wrong thing!

My goodness… the regret of such time wasted would be a tough pill to swallow, so avoid it by spending the time and energy on figuring out just what you want and creating a plan of how to get it.

Read. Research. Take the time to acquire enough perspective to know that what you want is true. And when you create a vision for your life, being decisive in taking actions that lead you toward it becomes easy.

4. Determine the virtues you hold most important. Make a chart. Tick them off daily.

Ben Franklin did this. Copy him.

He was insightful enough to understand that what he wanted in life is dependent on him, who he was, how much he could work, save, and learn, so he crafted virtues that would help him become the man his goals and dreams needed him to become.

Make a list of 10-14 rules or virtues that you don’t break, and track how well you abide by them.

Try these – – – > > The 12 Virtues of Manliness

5. BE the man you want to become, stop waiting to become him. ACT AS IF YOU ARE HIM.

For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. ~ Viktor Frankl

That may be the most powerful quote you’ll ever read.

Success isn’t something you can pursue, it must ensue. It must happen. You do not pursue that man you want to become, you become him. You do not pursue decisiveness, you become more decisive.

People would love for it to be more complicated than that. It isn’t.

What you want is dependent on who you are and you can become the man you need to become, today. You can live the virtues, create the habits, have the thoughts of a billionaire, the habits of a winner, the actions of an explorer, now. You do not need to wait for this to occur.

Those who truly understand this. Those who act with courage now. Those who act decisively today, will become the man they need to become, and the life and the goals and the dreams will soon be their daily reality.

6. Have confidence that you cannot only make the right decision, but that if you make the wrong decision, you’ll win anyway. You’re tough like that.

You’re the man. Whatever decision you make, no matter the outcome, you can and will rise and win as a result of it. Even if you fail, you’ll pick yourself up and get back on the horse.

This allows you to make decisive actions, not from a place of fear, but strength.

You need to be strong. You need to act as though you have nothing to lose and that you can walk away from any deal, decision, and win regardless of where you find yourself.

7. Stop thinking, start doing. Make one big decision right now, do it, and let the chips land where they may.

Practice everything we’ve talked about, but on a big scale.

Book a trip. Buy a domain. Ask a lady out.

Do something that – to you – is big.

Most people won’t do this. But you’re not most people. You know that whatever you do, you’ll make it work, you’ll make victory out of failure.

Get after it.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –



Self-doubt grips us all.

My job is to provide advice. I spend my time figuring out the best way to get shit done, to become more disciplined, to get in shape, to boost testosterone levels, and so forth.

Of course, there are thoughts running through my mind telling me that no one will listen to what I have to say or that I’m not worthy of giving advice in the first place.

We all have self-doubt.

Here are 5 things you need to understand if you’re going to overcome it, put yourself out there, and take action on the things you need to take action on to live a good, flourishing life.

1. Understand that it’s a lie

Self-Doubt isn’t true. It’s not a voice of reality, but a voice of weakness and deceit. That voice telling you that you’re not good enough or that you’re unworthy isn’t true, and you need to recognize it.

When the voice starts up, as it begins to rationalize and tear you down, call it out. It’s a liar, and it’s the last voice you should be listening to.

2. Write down a logical conclusion – not your fear

Alright, so you’re about to attempt something, to put yourself out there in a big way, and that little voice is telling you that you’re not going to succeed because you’re not good enough.

You know that you are good enough, but you’re still not convinced.

So, write down the worst thing that can happen, and then think about whether or not it’s really that bad.

Let’s say you’re going to throw a live event. You book the room. You put the invite out. The worst thing that can happen is that no one shows up. Not a single human.

Do you really care?

It’ll suck, yes, but you’ll live to fight another day. It’s not the end of the world. It’s never the end of the world.

Now, is that really likely? Probably not. Your worst fear rarely is. And when you write it down, it’s not even that scary.

3. Write down the worst case scenario

Now, use your imagination.

What’s this deepest, darkest fear you’re worrying about?

Forget logic. Write down this illogical conclusion that’s preventing you from taking action.

Writing it down will show you how stupid it is.

4. Solve the source of the doubt – man up and get better

The best way to overcome self-doubt is to simply get better. Practice. Improve. Win.

Self-doubt is a lie. Yet, the only way to truly overcome it is to prove it wrong.

Work harder. Create a practice routine. Make more money. Win more battles. Do whatever you need to do to show yourself that you’re worthy. The more you win, the less self doubt you’ll have.

5. Understand that people don’t care, they’re not watching you, their opinions don’t matter.

Sometimes self-doubt is rooted not in our fear that we’re inadequate, but in our fear of what others will think, say, or do.

Fuck em.

They’re so insignificant to who you want to become and what you’re trying to do that they really don’t deserve your time, energy, or thoughts.

On top of that, people don’t really care. They have their own shit to deal with, their own insecurities to overcome and conquer. Help them out. Lead the way by taking action, by being the man, by winning daily and winning consistently.

Action step:

Define the one thing you have the most self-doubt about.

Maybe it’s public speaking or you’re not confident that you can start your own business. Whatever it is, write it down, and take one action step TODAY toward the thing you’ve been putting off for far too long…

… Or don’t.

Don’t write it down. Don’t take an action step.

Stay as you are right now, small and insignificant in your own eyes, when you have the potential to be so much more.

Rise, from Average to Alpha.

Get after it.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –



The alpha is the dominant male…

In nature it’s easy to see and define. He’s the male lion in charge of the pride, the silver back gorilla, the dominant chimp.

Human dominance and leadership, however, is more nuanced.

In certain situations, physical domination is necessary – or at least its threat. In other situations, leadership is what’s required.

To lead is to inspire, to guide, to carry and aide.

That’s the alpha we’re after. (Read This: What Is An Alpha?)

He’s the leader, the warrior not the worrier, the guy who’s calm while everyone else loses their heads. He can dominate physically, but also mentally.

He’s led by virtues not by desires.

The true alpha male in human circles cannot be confined to the laws that alphas live by in nature. He needs to be much more than dominant and domineering, he must be inspiring, he must lead, he must win, while helping others win.

1. He knows where he’s going.

First and foremost, if you’re going to lead you have to know where you’re leading people. You cannot just exist. You have to have a clear destination if you’re to choose the path wisely.

2. He inspires others.

People cannot be told what to do, they have to make the decision on their own, but that’s a decision you lead them to make. You give them the power to decide, but you inspire them to make the decision you want them to make.

Decide through actions and words. People are looking for someone to follow. Don’t bark orders; instead inspire.

3. He’s decisive.

Knowing where you want to go is great, but not nearly as powerful as going where you want to go, choosing a path, and trudging forward.

Make a decision and stick to it.

Practice making faster decisions. Trust your gut. Trust who you are and what you want and that, regardless of the path you choose, you’re going to make it work.

Practice being more decisive in every area of your life. Choose what you want to eat, the movie you want to watch, the book you want to read, the lady you want to talk to. Then get after it.

4. He is his beliefs and virtues, regardless of the masses, of the fads, of the situation.

You cannot be an alpha and be a fraud.

That is, you cannot tell people to do one thing while you do another, or believe one thing while your actions convey something very different.

Know what you believe in, know your values and virtues, and then live by them, become them.

5. He’s dangerous.

Part of being an ‘alpha male’ is being a man. And being good at being a man entails you can do what men are bred to do, which is to protect. You have to have the capacity for danger in that you have to know how to fight, and win.

When you’re at least good at fighting, your confidence in social situations becomes more concrete, more real, more calm.

6. He’s calm, even quiet, while all around him is in chaos.

A lot of these self-help fellas will say that an alpha male is loud. He isn’t.

This is where we can look at nature.

The alpha lion in a pride is calm and quiet, indifferent to everything around him until there’s a viable threat. It’s only when that threat’s viable that he becomes loud and aggressive.

The loudest one in the room is typically the weakest. He’s after attention. He’s not a leader, he’s a jester, a child.

Be so calm that you don’t have to show your strength or toughness or intelligence at every opportunity. It’s there and you know it and you could care less if everyone else does as well.

7. He’s humble enough to know that talent on its own is useless.

As an alpha you have to accomplish. You cannot go through life without accomplishment, and your goals are likely going to be greater than the rest of the crowd, so you’re going to have to understand that you are not talented enough to win without discipline, hard work, and persistence…

… No one is.

Be humble enough to know that everyone can teach you something, and that you’ll get nothing without working harder and smarter than your competition.

8. He’s willing to do what others aren’t in order to get what he wants.

This doesn’t mean he’s devious. In fact, a good leader isn’t. A good leader is willing to delegate when a bad one wants complete control.

A good leader is willing to give praise to a subordinate when it’s earned, he doesn’t need the glory, he’s confident enough to pass it to another.

An alpha isn’t scared of a challenge, nor of the talents that another possesses. Instead, he uses them, rewards them, and builds them up.

9. An alpha male is able to use others for the greater good.

Snake’s have their purpose. It’s better than you use them to accomplish your goal than to let them get under your skin or to do evil.

Don’t get bent out of shape because someone’s a snake. Don’t let them get in your head if their actions are devious and cunning. Become more cunning. Use them to help you reach your goal rather than letting them do their devious deeds without benefit to others.

Most will let a snakey person push them off their game. The alpha doesn’t. He’s the leader of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

10. An alpha male is able to detach his emotions from every situation if needed.

Most people live their lives as a victim to their emotions and desires.

More than just detaching emotionally, you have to be able to detach from the situation itself if you’re to see what’s really happening.

To win and to lead you cannot be in the bubble of emotion to make a clear and good decision. Step back, assess, make a decisive decision, and take action.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –



The fear in my gut is inspiring…

Last month I put a bunch of cash toward the business in the form of joining a mastermind. That led to a host of new tracking softwares, web site platforms, and the Average 2 Alpha Tribe Magazine  that’s now in the mail for the Tribe guys.

It also led to another mastermind type event that I’m heading to in November.

Needless to say, they’re investments, even bets on myself that have put me in a pickle financially. And holy hell is it motivating.

We’re told to avoid stress at all costs, but stress makes us better, it makes us stronger, it can break us or help us rise, it’s all a matter of what we do with it and how we respond to it.

I’ve been on both sides, and within a day I can be on both sides. At times I worry. Then I wake up, man up, and use the possibility of failure as a motivator, not as a deterrent.

There are two kinds of stress. One can be used. The other can be crippling.

Stress From Worry

Stress from worry is crippling, it’s also illogical. It’s the fear of what is not yet a reality, but may be. It’s not taking into account that you can shape your future by doing what must be done in the present.

Stress From Daring

Stress from daring is the stress that comes from ambitious, even audacious goals. When you set a big goal, you get butterflies. When you take massive action, you can feel a little sick.

You’re also filled with an unexplainable energy.

You’re challenged to rise to the occasion, and as a warrior, you do so.

That’s the battle…

Are you a warrior or a worrier?

You’ll be both at times, but the key is to be the warrior in the end; to let him make the final decision, not the worrier.

10 Ways to Be a Warrior Not a Worrier

1. Find the deep end.

Always set a goal, then multiply it.

Set an income goal, then 10x it.

Set a travel goal, then think of something bigger.

Goals should not make you feel safe. They should scare the crap out of you. Find the deep end and force yourself to learn how to swim.

2. Be among those who challenge you.

A warrior pushes himself. A worrier makes sure he’s around others he thinks he’s above. He likes being safe. The warrior trains dangerously, lives dangerously, and hangs out with others that push him to be something better than he is. (Read This: 10 Qualities for a Modern Day Warrior)

3. Know the fallacy of fearing about the future.

Worry is often simply coming to an illogical conclusion about what you feel will happen in the future as a result of what you’ve done, where you are, or where you feel you’re headed.

Understand the fallacy of this. It often happens at night when we’re tired and the fear part of the brain is on steroids. Breathe slow. Think calmly and logically and understand that these conclusions you’ve come up with are not the most likely occurance.

4. Understand that it’s your reaction to the event, not the event that matters.

Emotions lie. Desires lie. You have your ultimate goal, and sometimes your emotions and desires can tell you to do things that pull you further away from your ideal rather than bringing you closer to it.

It’s never the event, the moment, the thing that matters, but how you react to it. Step back. Detach. Look at it logically.

5. Write it down.

Write down your greatest fear, that thing that brings you the most worry. Bring it into the tangible world and put it on paper.

When you bring it out from the ether, you have an enemy you can look in the eye and deal with. Sometimes writing down this fear makes you fear it less, it makes it more real and it allows you to detach your emotions from it, and it’s often the emotions, our reaction to something that are the enemy, not the thing at all.

6. Have a routine.

When you have a good routine, like the kind we talk about in The Lost Art of Discipline what you need to get done isn’t left to chance or mood or motivation.

You accomplish what you accomplish when you need to accomplish. It takes the worry out of the day because the goal is clearer, the reason for doing what you’re doing is apparent.

Figure out a firm routine. Don’t leave your future to chance or something as fickle as motivation. You have shit to do. Do it. Daily. Without exception.

7. Breathe slowly, walk slowly, think slowly.

The Practicing Mind is a great book. When we’re process-driven we’re focused on the thing that will make the result happen. When we’re results driven, we’re ignoring the process that will bring the result.

Being slow helps you think more clearly. It helps you become more aware of what you’re doing, more aware of what you’re thinking and the illogical thoughts are easier to route out.

It’s also more difficult to be stressed when you’re moving and acting and thinking slowly. Try it. Life is better, more purposeful when you’re slow.

8. Accept the worst case.

Figure out what the real worst case is. Not your illogical fear, but what really could happen, and accept it.

I’ve forked over a ton of dough. The absolute worst case (and it’s not going to happen, but it’s nice to accept the worst) is that my business crashes, that money runs out, and that I have to find a job to pay back the debt.

I can do that if I need to. Accepted. Now do everything in my power to learn from what I’ve implemented and invested in and implement everything I learn. (Read This: Becoming a Great Learner)

Worry over. Steps taken forward. Worst accepted. Burden lifted.

9. Study history.

History is powerful. No matter what you’re going through, someone has been through worse and they’ve risen above to it something greater than you can even comprehend.

Find evidence in the past that will propel you to where you need to be in the future.

When you see what people have overcome, and you realize that they’re just people, you see that your problems will pass, but you have to be the constant.

10. Be a winner.

This is the best idea of how to attain success.

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it” ~ Viktor Frankl

For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue…


Be a winner. Be successful. Do not wait for it to come your way, become the man it demands you become, and what you once aimed at will be yours.

A warrior is a warrior. A worrier is a worrier.

Be who you want to be, what you want to be, let the accolades and victories come when they come.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –



A couple months ago I went on a hike with my buddy and his son, my godson.

The kid’s a great kid, but the hike was pretty damn long for a 4 year old. We’d rotate between carrying him and allowing him to trek on his own. When he’d get tired, close to quitting or whining, we’d provide motivation in the form of a call-to-action that men have given younger men for thousands of years.

We told him to man up.

This term has become controversial, as a few aim to get the majority to stop saying it.

This desire to rid our society of this call-to-action comes from a good place. It’s rooted in the notion that men need to talk about our emotions and feelings more. All that the other side wants is to help people live better, longer lives.

Good intensions, but a horrible solution. It’s wrong and destructive to rid such a powerful tool from our vernacular. In this article I’ll cover 7 reasons why calling on our boys to ‘man up’ isn’t just okay, but good and powerful and increasingly necessary.

There seems to be differing ideas of what ‘man up’ means, which is a big part of the problem. As with most things in life, two sides have the same goal, but differing worldviews help them create differing solutions.

As well with most things in life, there is a right answer and a wrong answer. If you want to raise victims, don’t use the term. If you want to raise leaders, use it, but use it wisely.

When my pal told his son to man up, I saw a change in his posture. He stood taller. He forgot his desires to quit and to rest, he put them aside, he rose to the challenge, and he got after it.

We live in a society that places far too much importance on desires and emotions.

What you feel like you are, you are. What you feel like doing, you should do. If you feel sad, you are sad. If you feel broken, you are broken. If you feel lost, you are lost.

Each of those, of course, are a lie if you choose to make them one.

What’s gone is the power given to the individual to own their reactions to events and the responsibility of how they respond to situations. What’s lost is the power given to the individual to shape their reality, their mood, their desires, based on how they act, not how they feel in a given moment. (Read This: The Event Doesn’t Matter. Your Reaction to It Does.)

By removing the call to man up from our vernacular, we’re removing a powerful call-to-action that propels boys to want to become men.

It makes sense that we want to deter our boys from becoming men when we live in a society that degrades men, that sees the masculine virtues that won freedom and wealth and prosperity as archaic and falsely oppressive. It’s a cowards way of thinking, of creating victims where there are none and oppressors where there were only men who made the lives of others better, easier, filled with far more opportunity.

We’re trying to make life easier, when easier isn’t necessarily better. We’re aiming to explain our emotions when our actions are all that matter.

The Great Depression bore our Greatest Generation. Times of plenty bore our weakest.

We do not need to coddle our young men, to tell them to explain their feelings and follow their desires.

We do need to tell them to man up.

To man up isn’t to shut up. To shut up is to shut up, it has nothing to do with rising to the occasion unless shutting up means to stop listening to the weak voice within us that we all have.

If you don’t understand the call-to-action, you were likely never called to said action by a worthy source.

My old man was and is a worthy source. As is my mom. If either of them tell me to man up, it means I’m not being a man. Which means I’m not being dependable, strong, courageous, hard-working, and just. It means I’m being a pussy. I’m not doing what must be done and I’m not doing a good enough job.

I’m listening to the inner voice that wants to give reasons for my failure, that wants to provide excuses for how I’m acting, not the side that calls me to a higher standard.

To man up is to ask a man to do what must be done regardless of his desires, emotions, or feelings.

We tell a young man to man up if he gets his lady pregnant and is thinking of leaving her on her own to fend for her new family.

We tell a young man to man up when he’s complaining about where he is instead of accepting it as his reality, and doing his best to make it better.

We tell a young man to man up when he’s whining about how he feels, calling him to act like who he can be rather than acting like the coward he’s become.

We need this term in our culture.

This term was used heavily in past generations, the generations that fended off the Nazis, gave women the right to vote, ended slavery, and built nations of the west into superpowers.

Winning is a very good thing. We need to win once again, and turning our backs on the virtues that create victory (hard work, dedication, persistence, honor, justice, intelligence) because we’ve become so soft and sensitive that we’re even scared to claim ourselves victorious, we need to once again reclaim them.

Because there is very little honor left in American life, there is a certain built-in tendency to destroy masculinity in American men. ~ Norman Mailer

1. People need more asked of them, not less.

It doesn’t matter the age of the individual, people need to be challenged. By coddling and thinking less of their abilities and toughness, we teach our youth to think less of themselves.

By telling a boy to man up, you’re not telling him that he’s less, but that he can be more – which is always true. We can always do more, be more, learn more, work more, and so forth. We’ve simply slid into an existence as a culture where the ideal is doing nothing, being lazy, and being envious of those who aren’t.

Work is life. Accomplishment is necessary for an individual to feel as though he’s lived a purposeful life. Happiness is overrated. Meaning and purpose and underrated.

People need to be challenged. They need more asked of them, not less. They don’t need a pat on the back, but a kick in the ass, then a high five when they rise to the occasion.

2. Young men need to be connected to something, a lineage that gives them a source of strength and community.

Every person needs to be connected to something, a history, a bloodline, a lineage. That’s what makes being an orphan especially difficult, it’s that you feel like you’re starting from nothing, with no history, no proof that you’re a part of something.

The truth is we’re all connected. Somehow, some way, you are connected to Cato or Napoleon or Theodore Roosevelt. As a man, you can bring that connection close by acting like those men you respect, by adopting common virtues and values and hard work is common throughout.

When you tell a boy to man up, you’re not pushing him down, you’re connecting him to that lineage, those men of history who didn’t let their feelings or desires diminish what they could accomplish.

That’s the key…

This call-to-action isn’t shutting down, it’s rising above. It’s not about closing up, but pushing through.

3. We don’t need to follow our desires, we need our actions to change them.

Every fella I know who’s written a book (not an easy thing to do) has done so on a schedule.

His words weren’t on paper because of feelings or emotion, but because of routine. Regardless of how they felt, they sat at the computer and wrote.

If you’ve ever felt down, you’ll know that a tough workout can change your mood. If you’ve ever felt sorry for yourself you’ll know that charity work can turn that around.

The keyword is ‘work’.

Actions have weight to them. Emotions are fickle and often lies. By telling your body to man up you’re telling him to take control of his emotions rather than letting them control him.

4. Challenging a young man to be more manly is beneficial, not harmful.

Being a man, not a male or a boy, but a real man, is something to be proud of.

Those who call on us to stop telling other guys to man up ignore the masculine virtues that bore free nations and defeated evil ones.

They see masculinity as brutish and oppressive, but my goodness, they’re the same lot that want participation trophies (which we know are destructive). They’re the same lot that want men to work in careers that are typically pursued by women…

… They ignore fact and reality.

Men and women are different, and being a real lady and being a real man are good. They’re the ideal for each sex and should be something we all aspire to be.

Everyone knows a ‘man’s man’, and few would have anything bad to say about him.

Being a man, a manly man, a real man, means being a leader, it means doing what must be done regardless of feelings. It’s acting with honor and courage. How in God’s great name could this be seen as a bad thing?

5. Telling a boy to man up teaches him that he’s not a victim of his surroundings, emotions, desires, or how he feels. He’s in control. He’s in power.

We place a great deal of importance on feelings and emotions.

People can spend their entire lives falling victim to both, never acting because they never felt like it.

The truth is that actions are far more powerful. We can do great things if we’d just act. We can persist day in and day out if we just act.

We can actually become better, stronger, more successful people if we’d just act like it.

To man up is to act regardless of feelings and emotions, and if you want to raise a successful son, that’s a valuable lesson to teach.

6. Telling your boy to man up won’t make him commit suicide.

One of the facts that the ‘stop manning up’ crowd cite is that men are more likely to commit suicide. This is true. Yet, as with most things, it’s true if you stop there, and if you want to prove that we shouldn’t tell our boys to man up, you will stop there.

The deeper, more nuanced reality of suicide and mental health is that men are simply more efficient at suicide. Why? Because we’re more violent and we care less about our appearance.

Women attempt suicide at higher rates. They’re just less likely to do it by doing something physical, like shooting or hanging themselves, or jumping off something tall. They’re more likely to attempt suicide using less violent means, like taking pills or something along those lines.

One study found that 7% of women and 4% of men attempt suicide, but that more men were successful.

Note: I realize that the words I’m using here and the way I’m using them can come across as incredibly insensitive, especially with such a devastating topic. That’s not my intension. I’ve had loved ones commit suicide. Dealing with this issue, however, I find it drives a point home if I don’t fill it with the despair and sadness that comes from those who’ve lost someone close to them. So, my apologies if this is just too coldly worded.

Suicide also isn’t merely a matter of talking about one’s feelings, but more about feeling as though we serve a purpose. When we lose touch with why we’re here, we devalue our lives and our reason for being here.

We can also see that diet and exercise are as effective as anti-depressants.

We’re also calling our young men to man up, less. We’re rewarding participation and not actual victory, devaluing hard work, persistence, and winning in the process. We’re making life easier for them and then the real world smacks them in the face.

As the quality of life increases, suicide rates increase along with it.

Ease is not what we need.

We’re born to overcome, to be challenged, to get pushed around and fight back, not to lie down and give up and sob about our plight.

Train your body to be a fighter, a warrior, a guy who rises to challenges, and he will. That’s love. Excusing him from life isn’t, it’s pity.

7. It will force you to become better.

You cannot tell your son to man up if you’re acting like a coward.

You can’t tell your boy to man up if you’re not treating your wife right.

You can’t tell your son to man up if you’re not being a great example. If you do, it will have the opposite effect.

You have to show him what a real man is, so he doesn’t get confused about what this call to action is.

If you’re abusive, cowardly, weak, he’ll have the wrong reaction to the challenge.

Fatherhood should make us better.

If you’re reading this, it likely has and is, or will.

Be the man your son, your daughter, wife, and family need you to be. If you are, simply watching you, how you act, who you are, will be a challenge that your son or sons will try to live up to.

Get after it.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –