9 MENTAL CHANGES EVERY BOY NEEDS TO MAKE TO BECOME A MAN

9 MENTAL CHANGES EVERY BOY NEEDS TO MAKE TO BECOME A MAN

I spent my entire lifetime trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless, but not men. ~ Vito Corleone, the Godfather

Children can look to their parents for help. They can blame others for what they’ve done. They can fall back on someone else’s assistance and get careless and have the problem solved for them. (Read This: 10 Lessons Every Father Must Teach His Son)

Men cannot afford to be careless.

Men cannot behave in a manner that would jeopardise our employment. Boys can stay out late, get drunk with pals, lose their job, ride free on the backs of their folks for a few months, and then get another job. Men cannot.

Men cannot spend their money frivolously. They cannot buy what they cannot afford. What they earn they have to use wisely, they have to invest and pay off whatever creditors they have.

Becoming an adult is something that was once done at 19 or 20. Today it seems as though it may happen at 40.

If you look at the statistics of debt held in the west, by-in-large, most people owe more than they bring in on an annual basis. The good cities, the cities or towns where values still hold are closer to the debt to profit margin, while the bad ones, a city like Vancouver, for example, has its citizens earning – on average – half of the debt they’ll carry in a year.

Housing prices aside, this number is driven by an aspiration to portray and image, not the once all-important quest to be of character.

This article treats trivialities like image and consumerism as something that children can do, but not men. If you aspire to be good and manly, there are things that, when you hit 20, you simply have to leave behind.

If you’re in your thirties or forties and you’re still doing some of the things or behaviours on this list, ask yourself if you need to be, ask yourself if these behaviours and habits make you stronger or weaker and if they make you weaker, why have them?

Being an adult male means you have to be a leader. In some capacity people look up to you or depend on you. Don’t be careless with this honor.

1. Keep a budget.

The first change that a young fella has to adopt when he enters manhood is budgeting. You’re planning for something now. You’re saving for a life you want to create in the future and for a family that you may not yet have, but will one day. (Read This: 11 Tips to Budget Your Money Like a Winner)

A budget is as much about knowing what’s coming in and what’s going out that it is about saving. It’s knowing what you have a tendency to spend money on that you don’t need and don’t really want, but you buy anyway.

It’s self-responsibility. It’s taking care of your affairs. It’s not being careless.

2. Think about what you buy.

I saw a video a couple months ago. It was some Youtube guy talking about having an abundance mindset. This notion that things will come into his life led him to spend money frivolously.

An abundance mindset is good. To know that if you work hard and smart that things will come into your life is a good thing. It’s a positive thing. To spend money on things you want on a whim, to let your desires push your purchasing habits is a dependence mindset.

Somewhere along the line the kid used the idea of an abundance mindset as an excuse to buy what he wants in a moment.

Anyone who lets their desires determine their actions is a slave to their emotions. They’re devoid of discipline and they see discipline as restrictive, not as liberating.

Discipline is discerning, it’s having the knowledge to back what you want to buy with logic and reason for purchasing it.

Children can spend money on stupid things. Men cannot.

Next time you have a desire that leads you to want to buy something, stop and think. Think about what this desire really is.

It’s most likely fuelled by an image you want to portray, which is given to you not by your genetics or what’s truly important in life, but my marketing, be it in film, in someone you look up to, in a magazine that skilfully lays out a persona of a man that you’d like to be yours.

This desire isn’t deep, it’s not meaningful, it’s wrought with triviality and once this image is achieved, another purchase will have to follow to further fulfill it.

Stop. Breathe. Think. What is it you really want?

It’s likely something that you think this purchase will get you but you’re wrong. Save your money, buy land, God ain’t making any more of it.

3. Do what you don’t want to do.

Boys can do what they want. If they don’t want to study, all they get is a bad grade, who cares.

Those among us who are men, who are winners, do what they don’t want to do with as much effort and pride as the things they love to do.

Success is often merely a matter of doing the things you’re not passionate about at a high level.

Being a good husband and father is often about the same thing. Of course you want to play with your kids and relax with them, but those dishes need to get done, the chores need to be completed, your lady deserves rest before you do. You’re a man. Rest is something that’s more infrequent for you than for anyone. (Read This: How to Rest Like an Alpha)

4. Take pride in everything you do, in who you are.

Take pride in how you look. Take pride in the work you do. Take pride in the man you are.

That means that you’re not lazy and you don’t sell yourself short.

Too many of us hold incredibly low expectations of what we can achieve in this lifetime and what our life will be. We give a fraction of what we can give to our work, to our family, and we push down the dreams we had as a kid because now they seem so out of line with the path we’ve been pushed into that we see them as not real.

This article is obviously not simply a matter of being an adult, but of being a great one.

Too many ‘adults’ slide into a way of life that is beneath them, both in character and accomplishment.

They sell themselves short. That doesn’t mean that the line of work you’re doing is beneath you, but that the work you’re doing, how you’re performing, and the pride you’re taking in what you’re doing is short of what it can be.

In no way does it make sense to give less effort, to pay less attention to detail. You end up giving close to the same amount of time, yet the results you create are far less than what they can be. Why not give your best? (Read This: Be A Man Of Action and Victorious Effort)

It’s like laziness, it makes no sense to be lazy. There’s no logic behind it, no benefit at all to the individual, yet we do it day after day.

Take pride in how you dress. Keep yourself well-kept and your body in shape. Don’t get fat and lazy, it’s unbecoming of what your potential dictates you should be.

5. Never be lazy.

6. Never blame someone or something for where you are right now.

7. Don’t change.

Don’t get careless or soft or lazy when things are going well. It’s easy to hustle when you have to. When you don’t, when things are taken care of and the bills are paid, people slip.

Marvin Hagler made a great point:

“It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning to go for a run when you’re sleeping in silk sheets”.

Yet, you still have to get up and out of bed, not because you need the money but because that’s who you are, you’re a man for shite’s sake, act like one.

A grinder, a worker, a man who takes pride in who he is doesn’t change or soften or weaken. You are who you are. Be the same guy when you’re at the bottom as you are when you’re at the top.

Highs and lows come and go. Life is a never-ending ebb and flow. Be the constant.

8. Give time to your family.

All of this work we do, all of these dreams we have, the goals we hustle to bring to reality, are for no reason if we don’t give our time to our family.

The excuse that so many men use is that they do all of this for their families. It’s not true. They may think it’s true, but what your family really needs is you.

You can make a few hundred grand or a few million less in your lifetime without diminishing your degree of happiness or value or worth and instead give those hours where that money was earned to the people that matter most.

The greatest regret for most men is that they were so focused on earning and they used their family as an excuse to spend more time earning instead of giving them their time.

9. Let your lady rest before you do.

The best example of what men have become today is in how we do chores around the house that our lady typically does. Let’s take the dishes, for example. Maybe that’s something that your lady does normally, but tonight you have to do them, and you do them just good enough to pass, but bad enough that she doesn’t want you to do the dishes anymore because you didn’t do them well enough.

I’ve heard this complaint from many a lady. I’ve done this myself, too. It’s less than who you are, who we are.

It goes back to the take pride in everything you do change in mindset. This includes chores and things that you don’t want to do at all.

If you’re going to do something, do it well.

More than that, do things you don’t have to do, let your lady rest before you do. Be the man, not just a man.

GROW UP.

The problem with our society today is that youth is praised more than age and wisdom. It used to be the elders we looked up to, now it’s the young, the person living with no responsibility and a care-free lifestyle.

That’s ass-backwards. It doesn’t reflect what our priorities should be. We praise the dependent, the immature, the weak.

Be the strong, self-reliant, masculine male that you need to be to be called a man or a man’s man or a leader. It’s the same guy you need to be to live the life you genuinely want to live.

If this is heaven, if we’re not moving toward heaven, how would you live?

What would you spend your time doing, building, creating? What adventures would you embark upon? Who would you spend your time with and sacrifice for?

Be the man that your idea of living demands you become, not the boy that your desires make you act like.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –
http://www.ChadHowseFitness.com/
https://www.Facebook.com/ChadHowseFitness
https://www.YouTube.com/ChadHowseFitness

EVERY MAN MUST REST – DO IT LIKE AN ALPHA

EVERY MAN MUST REST – DO IT LIKE AN ALPHA

There’s no rest for an alpha! OK, I don’t mean that literally, everyone needs some time off to cool down and recharge their batteries, in order to keep moving, faster and stronger. What I meant to say is, if you want to rest like a man, then coming home after a workday, sitting down in front of the TV with a pizza and a six-pack is out of the question. Idleness kills manliness, and there are other ways to really rest, which don’t include passively lying around, doing nothing.

If you don’t rest adequately, your body will tell you so. You have to work a lot? There’s not enough time for managing all the things in your life? So, you decide to cut back on your sleep, staying up all night and sleeping during the day. However, sleep deprivation is just another brick in the road that leads to nowhere. Here’s what you can do to rest your body and mind. To rest like an alpha.

Save Stress for the Morning

What is the point of having a bedtime ritual in the first place? It’s to relax and calm the body and set the stage for setting off into an REM phase. However, you can’t relax if you are dealing with things that can raise your blood pressure – thinking about business problems, worrying about late bills, pondering on the world’s problems, and other things. Deal with heavy and stressful things when you feel refreshed, so wait until morning comes.

Choose the Right Time for a Drink

Okay, a scotch may be a part of the alpha-male identity. Alcohol isn’t harmful when drunk in moderate amounts, but it can play a nasty trick on your body if you don’t lay off about 3 hours before going to sleep. Otherwise, alcohol will get metabolized some hours later, while you’re asleep, and will have you tossing and turning in your bed. The kind of sleep you get in the first half of the night is called short-wave sleep (associated with an immune system boost and the repair of body tissues), and can be prolonged by alcohol. This disturbs REM sleep, the later stage of sleep that encourages memory formation and learning. According to a research published in Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research a few years ago, a drink before bed might get you to doze off more easily, but you may not feel as rested in the morning.

Stay Away from the Bedroom

Don’t underestimate the power of association. In 1890, the Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov discovered something that’s now called Pavlovian conditioning. While he fed his dogs, he discovered that they would salivate whenever he entered the room, even if he didn’t bring them food. What I want to say is that, if you don’t use your bedroom for things other than rest and sex, you will build a mental association between fatigue and bed. Pre-bedtime activities, watching TV, or even working, should be done in any other room but the bedroom. Once it’s time to rest, you’ll enter your bedroom, and your body will take it as a signal to shut down and hibernate.

Turn Your Digital Devices Off

Electronic devices that you use before bedtime may deprive you of quality sleep. People largely use phones and tablets within an hour of bedtime, but it’s the light exposure from these devices that trick our brains, that interpret it as daylight. It then blocks melatonin (responsible for making us sleepy) and triggers a surge of energy. What can you do to prevent electronics from messing with your resting time? First, charge your devices in another room, rather than your bedroom. Don’t use your phone as an alarm, buy a real alarm clock that won’t interrupt your sleep in the middle of the night. Turn off all the computer, phone, and TV screens about an hour before bedtime. If you want to read, read a printed book, not a digital ebook or a PDF version on your tablet. If you can’t manage that, try simply reducing the amount of light that gets emitted from the screen (white letters on a black background). Create a bedtime routine that doesn’t involve electronics, which will keep you engaged and prevent you from turning a device on for work or entertainment.

Rest Days during Training Week

If you’re an iron addict, then resting days may come as a kind of “torture”. However, if you’re trying to get stronger and bigger, the way you handle your rest days can greatly affect your workout results. Rest days have to be timed wisely during the week and you certainly shouldn’t feel like you’re slacking off. It’s not an OFF day, but a GROWTH day, when crucial things happen. If you want progress and growth, then rest days are not something that you want to avoid and become a stimulus addict. Every dedicated lifter knows the importance of rest days, the time when all the magic happens. This is the time when you recharge all your energy, when you build muscle and replenish your glycogen stores, and when your nervous system can get back on track and tune into its optimal working state. You need to remember that your body is not a bottomless well of energy, and that you are dealing with a limited amount of resources – you need to replenish them often and properly. (Read This: 4 Things You Need to Do to Recover Optimally)

If you don’t know how to structure your training week, this could be a good start, and you can adjust this system further:

– Monday – Training day 1 (moderate loading and volume)
– Tuesday – Training day 2 (highest training volume)
– Wednesday – Growth day 1
– Thursday – Training day 3 (heavy training)
– Friday – Growth day 2
– Saturday – Training day (heavy training)
– Sunday Growth day 3

Active Recovery

You might think it’s a mere paradox, but there are many things you can do to enhance your progress and hack your growth. Active recovery means that the earth does not stop turning on rest days, it’s just a routine easier than the one you implement on your regular days. All of your light, rest day activities will only help you recover faster than if you’d spend your days counting the minutes before you can hit the gym.

If you look closely at our bodies, you will notice that we are designed to move – if you stop moving for extended periods of time, all you are doing is telling your body that it’s time to shut down, and prepare for death.

Rest days don’t require you to be sitting at home, doing nothing. You don’t have to be passive. An alpha wouldn’t like to be passive. Instead of hitting the brakes and coming to a complete halt, you should just slow down and do some form of active resting – light exercise in the outdoors, a bike ride around the city, or some mobility drills. If you’re a guy who doesn’t have an aversion towards marijuana, then you can use it as something that can help you slip into a resting state of mind. Marijuana is beneficial in various ways (when taken in moderate amounts), and is known to provide relief from anxiety and insomnia, improve appetite, and decrease nausea. Believe it or not, it can even help you in your growing endeavors, if you are not averse to trying it.

Meditation

Meditating doesn’t require sitting in a lotus position, humming “ummmmm” for an hour, whatsoever. It is a technique for relaxing and calming both the mind and body. If it wasn’t efficient, people wouldn’t be practicing it for several thousand years now. Find a quiet area in your home and sit in a relaxing position, close your eyes, and concentrate on your body’s sensations and breathing. Let go of tension, keep breathing, and take a mental journey to the peaceful place of your choice, and start noticing details (the color of the sky, the smells, the sights, and the warmth). Meditation will improve your focus, it will improve your resilience towards pain and adversity, teach you all about relaxation and awareness. It’ what an alfa is all about.

There are many things you can do to always keep yourself a well-rested alpha, always prepared for everyday life and all the challenges that are lurking behind every corner. Alphas always have a goal and actively work to achieve it. An alpha knows himself, knows where he’s going, and who he can rely on in life. He also knows how to get there, and can tell you what he’ll do if he faces an obstacle that seems to be unsurmountable. Forget all about arrogance, it’s only belief in yourself that keeps your head up, shining with confidence and self-esteem. A real man doesn’t pressure himself to do everything, but knows his limits, and it’s important to know them, in order to know when to rest.

An alpha male creates his own destiny and stays in control. He does not push himself into overdrive when he knows he will only be causing harm. He is perfectly ready to spend time in his den resting, ready to take on another day.

About The Author

Mathews McGarry is passionate about many forms of strength training, and has spent years lifting, dragging and flipping all manner of heavy objects. After graduating from the Faculty of Health Sciences, he started writing about his experiences, and sharing tips for a better life.

You can contact him at –

9 THINGS EVERY MAN SHOULD DO BEFORE HE DIES

9 THINGS EVERY MAN SHOULD DO BEFORE HE DIES

9 Things Every Man MUST DO (not nonsensical clickbait).

When I thought about writing this list I did a little digging about other lists like this online. They’re clickbait.

No time nor thought is put into them. They’re littered with non-essential things like ‘having a threesome’ or ‘buying a luxury watch’. They’re filled with stuff, not experiences that men actually need to experience but are either lost or taken for granted in our society.

In this list you’ll only find things that men should actually do. These are things you need to do to be good at being a man or feel as though you’re actually fulfilling your role as a man.

This has nothing to do with ‘success’, as society defines it, but in feeling the value of fulfilling a role that is as old as time.

1. Hunt.

For thousands upon thousands of years, men have been hunters. We’ve went out into the wilderness, found animals, killed them, brought them back to our cave or camp and provided our tribe with sustenance.

Hunting is about more than taking a life, it’s what we have done for millennia, it’s the act of doing something yourself. Hunting is hiking on steroids. It brings you to places where the average man just doesn’t venture.

Use a bow or rifle or shotgun. Find food that’s better for you than anything you’ll find in a grocery store or at a butcher, and bring it home for your family.

On a moral level, hunters are conservationists. They maintain the balance in nature that’s been thrown off by human expansion. I’ve never been around people that love wildlife and wilderness more than hunters.

2. Procreate.

Protect, provide, procreate. At our base, that’s what we’re here for. We’re also here to create something, to give the world something of benefit, by all means, have that ‘something’ be the child you raise and teach.

As a culture, we need more fathers who stick around to raise their seeds. Be one such man. The ultimate measure of a man is the family he provides for and protects. The simple act of having a family is a vital aspect of fulfilling your role as a man. (Read This: 10 Lessons Every Father Should Teach His Son)

3. Travel to a place you’re scared of.

Go to places that make you uneasy. You’ll find that, often, the uneasy was just the unknown, the unfamiliar, and once it became familiar it became enjoyable.

Theodore Roosevelt is a great example of this. He was scared of the west. So he headed to North Dakota, bought a ranch, and became a cowboy.

How did he deal with his fear? He acted as if he wasn’t afraid at all.

“There were all kinds of things I was afraid of at first, ranging from grizzly bears to ‘mean’ horses and gun-fighters; but by acting as if I was not afraid I gradually ceased to be afraid.”

Act as if you’re not afraid and you shall cease to be afraid. Facing fears makes you stronger. Living a life of safety and ease makes you weaker.

It can be argued that staying safe for your entire life, never venturing beyond your zones of comfort, isn’t actually life. It’s merely existing, waiting for death in a purgatorial state.

Living, the verb, demands that you act and improve. What now brings you fear should, in time, cease to make you afraid.

4. Fix your own vehicle.

Before Youtube existed, my old man relied on the ‘For Dummies’ books. He must have had all of them.

He isn’t naturally a handy fella, but he taught himself to fix things around the house. Such has been the way of men for every generation in existence except for our most recent few.

We want everything now. When we do work around the house or on our vehicle there’s a sense of accomplishment that’s tough to replicate at work, which is, by-in-large, in an office today and devoid of the sense of accomplishment that comes with fixing something or building something with your hands.

Repairing things that belong to you teach you things that we’re seeing less and less today.

It teaches you to be patient, and to not freak out when you can’t find the solution to a problem right away. It teaches you to solve your own problems rather than pawning them off onto someone else. It gives you pride that cannot be found in much of the work we do today.

5. Build something, anything.

This goes, again, to actually doing things with your hands.

I’m as useless as they come with fixing things. So if I can do a few things, anyone can.

This summer I’m going to build the fences on either side of my house. It’s something that should last a couple decades. Having someone build them for me is an option, but the satisfaction that comes from building them myself cannot be measured.

It will take a ton of time, time that I will have to create. This is where priorities come in. I genuinely see the importance of building said fences as far greater than the money saved instead of having someone else do them. It’s not about money. Not everything is about money.

I’ll have to create the time to build the fences by working longer than normal hours and going without a day off a week for a few weeks.

The things on this list are inconvenient, which is why so few of us will actually do them. Be one of the few. (Read This: 9 Ways You Can Become More Manly)

6. Get in peak physical shape.

Every man should know what it feels like to be elite. Being in truly great shape, where you combine strength, power, and endurance, enables you to do things that others cannot do.

You can go places where people can’t go. You can climb mountains, hunt animals, explore nature, and live life dangerously while everyone else is held captive by their weakness.

In life you’re essentially trying to break down barriers. The less standing between you and the life you want to lead, the better, more exciting your life is going to be, and the more successful it will be.

At least once in your life, feel what it’s like to get in impeccable shape.

7. Gallop on horseback.

One of the things I love to do when visiting a new place is to explore the countryside on horseback.  I didn’t grow up on a farm and I wasn’t raised around horses, so getting on them is still something that’s new to me, but men have hunted and explored on horseback for thousands of years.

The purpose of the actual gallop as it pertains to this list, is to do something thrilling.

Going full speed on horseback on the countryside or in the foothills of the Andes like I did in Argentina, is thrilling. There’s something awesome about hopping on the back of these majestic and powerful animals. The rider has control, but not 100%, complete control, which adds to the thrill. If something pops out from the bushes, the horse is going to get spooked.

Think of something thrilling that you’d like to do, and do it. Don’t wait. It’s these little thrills that make us feel alive, whether it’s cliff diving or scuba diving or hunting in grizzly country with a bow, living isn’t meant to be boring.

When people say they feel ‘alive’ it’s usually because they’ve done something thrilling. Danger is a good thing. It should be a compass, not a deterrent.

8. Get in a fight.

Our greatest fear is death, and the cousin of that fear is bodily harm.

People who think that getting into a fight isn’t a necessary aspect of a man’s life are stupid and afraid. And yes, this is a rare instance where we can paint an entire lot with a broad stroke.

Men have been warriors far longer than we’ve been this soft, sedated, safety-obsessed lot that we’ve become.

For one, if you’ve never been in a situation that demands you fight, then you’ve never thrown yourself into daring enough situations. You also don’t truly stand for what you believe.

Fighting is barbaric, sure. It’s archaic. It’s seen as something we no longer need to do by people who call names but would never put themselves in harm’s way.

Men need to fight. You need to fight. Join a boxing gym and spar, do something that will bring you back to one of our major purposes, which is to protect and defend those we’re charged with caring for.

Please, don’t brush this one off as being Neanderthalic. When you get over this fear you’re going to be a better man for it, and not just for you, but for those around you.

9. Accomplish one massive goal.

There are massive goals that most of us treat like dreams. It may be to own a mansion or make a million dollars in a single year. Maybe it’s to travel to every country on the planet.

Who knows what it is, but we all have one that means a lot to us and our image of what accomplishment and success is. Meaning and purpose are closely linked to accomplishment. If you want to live a fulfilled life, get married, have kids, do things for others, lead others, and win.

Win at what you think is important.

This takes decades. It isn’t won by luck or chance, but persistence. In the end, it’s worth the long hours and the grit that the long journey required of us.

Acting As If

Define who you want to become, and then act as if you are him.

That’s the ‘secret’ to getting what you want in life. It isn’t easy. The guy you want to become is likely accomplished, thus, he’s a worker, he’s disciplined, he’s frugal, he knows what to invest his time and money into and what to avoid.

He’s also likely daring. He’s not obsessed with safety, like most people are. He wants adventure. He wants to feel alive.

This means you’re going to have to face your fears, which isn’t something we naturally do.

You’re going to have to take risks and train your body to be able to withstand said risks.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –
http://www.ChadHowseFitness.com/
https://www.Facebook.com/ChadHowseFitness
https://www.YouTube.com/ChadHowseFitness

10 THINGS MEN WASTE THEIR TIME DOING

10 THINGS MEN WASTE THEIR TIME DOING

Determine who you want to become, what you want to accomplish, and what your idea of truly living is; then, everything that goes against that narrative, isn’t done.

This list is about those things that you shouldn’t do if you want to become great at anything, even if that ‘great’ is becoming excellent at living well. Each of the things on this list have become commonplace, but in the life of a man who wants to be something, they shouldn’t be found.

Go through the list, determine what you can remove from your life and simply remove it. Don’t spend any more time wasted on something that holds you back from becoming the man that your dreams, goals, and passions in life demand you become.

Heck, spend not a second more thinking like the man who you’d deem a failure if we could fast forward a few decades.

Time is everything. You don’t get any more of it. Thus, having a clear cut idea of what deserves your time and attention is necessary if you want to live a flourishing life.

1. Worrying about what other people think of them, what they’re doing, what they’re pursuing.

The opinions of others shouldn’t matter in the slightest. Often times it’s another person’s weakness that makes them comment negatively on what you’re doing or what you should do.

This avoidance of the influence of others if their ideas for you oppose your own, should include advice giving as well. Be careful about asking for advice. If you genuinely want another perspective, good; however, if you’re looking for an excuse not to do what you know you have to do, don’t seek another opinion.

Deep down you know what you have to do and why you have to do it. Don’t let weak minds get in the way of who you’re trying to become and what you’re attempting to accomplish.

2. Talking about other people.

Great men talk about ideas; cowards talk about other people. (Read This: 3 Lessons You Can Learn from Great Men)

If you’re searching for something to talk about and something someone else is doing comes to mind, just shut up. If you feel a need to fill the void that you feel when silence is around you, keep quiet. Silence is better than gossip. Men don’t gossip.

You have too much to do to be focused on what others are doing.

Don’t be one of the people you want to avoid. Those that talk behind your back and try to tear you down. It’s a waste of your time and energy. It in no way makes you a better man, so don’t do it.

3. Envying other people.

Do not envy. Envy isn’t something that men do. We don’t look at our neighbour and wish we were them. We don’t envy what others have gotten.

You have to understand that where you are is where you deserve to be. For good or for bad you’re where you are with what you have for a reason. It’s a warranted reason.

If you want things to change, change them, don’t envy what others have done.

To take this further, understand what you have! Appreciate everything that’s good in your life. The grass is never as green as it seems on the other side of the fence. Start focusing on your life and stop worrying yourself with the things others are doing, have done, or have bought.

4. Wishing things were different.

Things are as they are. Accept them. If you cannot accept your reality, you have no hope in hell of taking the actions necessary to improve it.

To wish things were different is an utterly stupid waste of time. It puts you in the victim mentality. It makes you pity your situation. Have you ever met a man who’s doing great things, or even a guy that you respect, who pity’s himself?

Have you ever met a man you look up to who wishes his life was different?

Hell no!

Don’t be that guy. Instead, accept your reality and start working toward making it a better one. Being in a position of control is strong, to give that control over to fait, to dreams, wishes, is weak.

5. Watching filth.

You are what you watch, what you put into your brain. The crap we put into our minds is astonishing. Take porn, for example. It changes how you think about sex, what you expect from sex, and often times it takes away your desire for real sex. It’s a weird thing to watch. It shouldn’t be watched; it should be done (sex, that is). (Read This: Does Porn Have a Place in a Man’s Life?)

Be careful and purposeful about what you watch. TV or internet videos shouldn’t take up very much of your time at all. For the most part they’re a complete waste.

That being said it’s nice to relax, sit back, and laugh. Be discerning about what you watch, though. Don’t frivolously watch whatever’s on. It’s a much better use of your time to pick up a good book.

6. Spending money to impress people, anyone, especially women.

I get daily emails from guys asking about impressing women, or how to get women.

It actually has nothing to do with the lady, and everything to do with who you are, not what you’re wearing or the smooth lines you can spew. Be a man who’s going somewhere, doing something, and making something of himself and use of his time.

That is a far better way to nab your ideal lady, by becoming worthy of a great gal.

Don’t spend your time or money trying to be what you think they want you to be. It isn’t genuine. It isn’t who you are and it’s a waste of time, money, and energy in doing so.

7. Getting other people to do stuff for you.

Learn how to become self-reliant, not dependent.

Too many in our society today – myself included – depend on others to survive. We have butchers that trim our animals, ranchers that raise and kill our beef, farmers that provide our veggies, mechanics that fix our cars, roofers that fix our roofs, and so forth.

We’re less self-reliant than ever before. Life is pretty damn easy if you’re in the west. The point is to make it less easy. Ease creates weakness and more dependence.

It’s an odd one on the list, but it’s often a waste of your time to get others to do things for you.

In business it’s a great thing. You want to delegate the things within your business that you’re not good at. It’s better for you to become great at something, than mediocre at a lot of things. However, being a man is being independent. You have to be able to take care of your own.

8. Complaining.

Whining and complaining shouldn’t take up even a second of your day.

Change your perspective of who you are. It takes a second, but it’s something you have to do if you want to become what you want to be.

We all have an ideal, a vision of the guy we can be if only…

Well, be, don’t wish.

Become the guy you want to become by doing what he does. That means becoming more disciplined, spending more time thinking and acting and doing and less time whining and wishing and complaining.

A lot of this stuff has to do with self-awareness and then the courage to take the right action.

Be in tune with how you think. If you catch yourself being negative, if you even hear yourself thinking about complaining, stop right there and do something to change your thought process.

9. Hating.

Hate does nothing to the focus of the hate. If you hate someone or something, that hate eats away at you, it’s a cancer.

With that said, there are things that shouldn’t be tolerated. As a man, you’re often the weapon to take away the evil that should be taken away, rooted out and disposed of like any cancer.

Don’t hate, but don’t accept things as they are if they don’t fit your ideals and values, do something to change them.

10. Avoiding.

Avoidance is a waste of time.

Too many people live their life in avoidance of who they can become by ignoring what must be done.

Determine what it is you want to do, and who it is you want to become. From there, identify that massive actions that must be taken for this goal to be your reality. Do not live a life of avoidance of the hard work, the risk, the dangers that have to be faced. (Read This: 4 Fears Every Guy’s Gotta Face)

The bigger your goals are, the more fears you’re going to have to face, the more work you’re going to have to do, the more risk you’re going to have to take on.

This avoidance has to be brought to a micro level as well. Don’t avoid things that need to be done, period. Don’t avoid chores. Don’t avoid fixing things in your house. Don’t avoid anything.

Just do what you’ve got to do. It’s simple. It’s something that’s becoming less frequent.

Do The Right Thing. Don’t Do The Wrong Thing.

Some things deserve your attention and effort, others don’t.

It’s simple.

You don’t need advice on what you should avoid, you just need to spend time thinking about what demands your attention. You know what you want to be, and who you want to become. Deep down you also know when you’re wasting your time.

Have the courage not to waste time.

Always be engaged in improvement, even if that improvement is recovery.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –
http://www.ChadHowseFitness.com/
https://www.Facebook.com/ChadHowseFitness
https://www.YouTube.com/ChadHowseFitness

WHY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ARE POISON

WHY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ARE POISON

Negative Thoughts Eat Away At the Host. They’re a Cancer.

Negative thoughts do you no good. They put you in the victim position. Not only that, they do no harm at all to the external focus of your negative thought.

If you hate someone, that hate hurts you, not them. If you’re bummed out about a situation, the situation doesn’t change, only when you change the situation or react to it in a different way will it be altered to your liking.

When you’re in the company of older generations (and studies have shown this), they tend to know what to worry about, what deserves their negative attitude, and what doesn’t. The thing is, most of the time they don’t even pay attention to things that would put them in a bad mood. There’s no time for such stupidity. If you understand that your life is inching closer to finishing, why would you think about or focus on things that make you pissed off?

This isn’t a hairy-fairy or flaky way of thinking. You don’t turn into some hippie, on the contrary, you’re not angry at anyone who disagrees with you, you’re simply too busy to focus on anything that brings you down.

Give this video a watch for more on the topic:


WE DON’T NEED TO IMPROVE UPON MANLINESS, NOR DO WE NEED ITS DEFINITION TO EVOLVE

WE DON’T NEED TO IMPROVE UPON MANLINESS, NOR DO WE NEED ITS DEFINITION TO EVOLVE

We Don’t Need to Improve Upon Manliness, Nor Do We Need Its Definition to Evolve. 

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One of the issues we’re having today is that we think men should evolve, well, not ‘we’, but society. They, let’s call them, think that masculinity is archaic, and that men should act more feminine. (Read This: Toxic Masculinity Isn’t Actually A Thing)

I really don’t think this is a majority, but a vocal minority of elites and academics who’ve labeled themselves as the moral authorities for our culture. Most women want a man. Most men want a real lady. We don’t want an in-betweener, something balancing a fine line between the true masculine and the feminine.

This vocal minority, however, feels that men need to be less manly, ignoring the necessity not only for a society to have the barbaric virtues that build a free society, but also the necessity for the individual to do things like work with his hands, fix things, fight good battles and act in a manful way.

The individual is our focus, it’s my focus, because if we as individuals live better, stronger, more manly lives, the society can’t help but benefit.

If more men took stronger stances on what is real and what isn’t, on what our values are and what they should be, we wouldn’t have this outpouring of political correctness, nor would we have a society that aims to raise our sons to be more feminine.

Battle, be it roughhousing with pals or competing in a competitive environment, are necessary for men to find their place in this world, and to prove themselves in the process.

We do not need manliness to evolve, not in the slightest. What we need is a bringing back of the basic values and virtues that is manliness.

Don’t forget, the Romans didn’t call it manliness, but virtus.

From that wonderful site called Wikipedia:

Virtus was a specific virtue in Ancient Rome. It carries connotations of valor, manliness, excellence, courage, character, and worth, perceived as masculine strengths (from Latin vir, “man”). It was thus a frequently stated virtue of Roman emperors, and was personified as a deity—Virtus.

What about that do we not need? What about being excellent, courageous, of worth and filled with character do we not currently need in our society?

Manliness isn’t something we need to change, but something we need to teach.

It is simply living a life trying to excel in a virtuous manner in all areas of life!

We don’t need to re-define manliness, what we need to do is to go back a thousand years and regain what it meant to the Romans, and still means to certain sub-cultures, like those who live in small towns or raise their own cattle.

Those who claim they have a moral authority shape their views in classrooms. They tend to hold more modern liberal views (true liberalism bore America, it is liberty and freedom, not social justice or political correctness). We need to take back the morality from this self-proclaimed authority that teaches things that produce no real morality at all.

Morality from a place of weakness isn’t of any real value.

How is strength and honor wrong?

How is having character a bad thing?

How is striving for excellence, true excellence, not the most important pursuit for any human walking this planet?

To degrade such a thing is to deny that life is a gift and that it’s your duty to use every waking minute in pursuit of giving your best back to the gift of life by becoming the best human you can become. That has to mean that, in some way, you benefit others around you, those who depend on you, and those who can benefit from your excellence.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –
http://www.ChadHowseFitness.com/
https://www.Facebook.com/ChadHowseFitness
https://www.YouTube.com/ChadHowseFitness