Home Stoic Manliness WHY YOU’RE UNHAPPY





A lot of people are going to want to kick me in the nuts for assuming the source of their unhappiness. I get it. However, I’m a human who’s happy and unhappy and I hear from hundreds of humans who explain why they think they’re unhappy, yet miss the underlying reason for said mood. (Read This: How to Beat Depression)

Happiness is almost irrelevant. It’s meaning and purpose that are more important. Happiness is an emotion. It’s something we should be able to control, yet most of us have no clue this is even an option.

Mistake #1: Most people try to find things that make them happy.

We confuse happiness and pleasure. Pleasure is easy to get. You can buy it. You can spend your entire savings on things that give you pleasure or a momentary dump of dopamine. We also want joy and laughter. So we pursue fun.

Fun is momentary; it has to be finite. Fun needs to be a part of your life but it won’t give the underlying purpose and meaning you crave.

Mistake #2: Pleasure seekers ignoring the necessity for goodness.

We all have souls. There’s something within us that maybe is us that needs to feel good about who we are and what we’re doing. If you’re seeking pleasure in things that don’t make you feel as though you’re being good, you’re going to feel icky.

Goodness and morality are becoming forgotten things in our society because they’re judgemental – even judgemental of one’s self, forget about others. Judgements can be tough, though. We need judgement to determine what’s good and bad, right and wrong, and being good is beneficial.

It makes us deeply happy to give and to serve. It’s a more meaningful sense of happiness than what pleasure can give, and it lasts longer.

Mistake #3: You’re searching when you should be creating.

Accomplishment is a massive part of being happy and living with a purpose that many a wanderer or hippie or millennial tends to ignore.

We need accomplishment, and this is the big one that most people miss out on. We don’t just need to accomplish something good and grand in life to prove to ourselves that we were both here for a purpose and a reason, but also to show that we used what we were given, be it talent or intellect. We also, however, need to accomplish things every day.

My path to a happy day is one where my to-do’s are ticked.

My path to an unhappy day is one without structure, where I didn’t get anything done because I was trying to do everything at once. An unhappy day has characteristics:

1. It begins late.

Sleeping in is lazy, it’s devoid of discipline and it starts a day on a whim, not with a purpose.

2. There’s no pain.

We need pain. My pain has to come in the form of physical activity and training. Pain shows me I’m improving. An easy day without any activity whatsoever feels like a waste.

3. There’s no plan.

This is big. If I have no plan and the success of my day is left to chance, then chance will take my success and throw it in the garbage. We all need a plan. If we don’t have one we’re simply wandering, we’re not doing or being or living. (Read This: How to Create The Perfect Day)


how to be happy every day

Your life will have variety; it has to. You should travel and explore. You must get into dangerous situations. You need to be in nature.

Each of these things are a must. On a daily level, even with these facts of life in mind, you need to win.

The topic of ‘being happy’ seems like it would be a weightless topic devoid of structure and completely made up of theory. Those who aim to create consistent happiness only with theory and nothing concrete will having nothing consistent in their lives.

Thus, happiness must be won and it must be routine.

To achieve this, forget about your grand goals, forget about the things you want to chase that you think will make you happy and simply win your mornings.

If you win your morning you’ll accomplish things, you’ll win, you’ll feel good about yourself and you’ll improve every day.

Follow these simple steps:

1. Wake up one hour before you need to.

how to be happy every dayEase into your day. Wake up. Do something active (100 push-ups). Open a book and read as well as a journal and write. Plan your day.

When you wake up when you ‘need to’, you rush. Rushing and being busy is being lazy. It’s a lack of planning and attention to detail. Don’t be lazy, it’ll make you unhappy.

2. Choose one thing to do.

Choose only one thing to do during the day. This is your most important task. It’s what you need to do to feel as though you’ve won the day. It’s not the only thing you’re going to do today, but it will get your best hours and your most intentional focus.

3. Block off 2-3 hours during your day for this one thing.

Today (Monday) is my article-writing day. I write 3 long articles. The internet is off, I have no clue where my phone is, and there’s only one thing I’m focusing on, and that is writing those articles.

There are other things in my day that need to be done, but this is the only thing I have to get done. From 6-9am I write three, 1,000+ word articles for this web site. I get this done before 9am and I feel good, as if I’ve done something good.

That’s it.

Of course, be good, don’t do things that make you feel icky, whatever those things are, they can be watching porn or watching TV, they can be spending money frivolously or being a dick to people. Whatever they are, don’t do them.

Being happy is tied so closely to accomplishment and accomplishment rests on our habits that we need to create habits that help us win so we can be happy.

Trust me.

Create an effective morning routine that helps you accomplish all that you want to accomplish. You’re going to have more free time to do the things that bring you joy, to embark on adventures, and you’re going to have far less happiness-killing stress in your life.

About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –


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Chad Howse

Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

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