Home Stoic Manliness Self Pity is the Devil

Self Pity is the Devil




Feeling sorry for yourself is the worst state of mind a man can be in – anyone can be in.

It’s pure weakness. It removes one’s control over their life, relegates them to servitude, makes them look weak in the eyes of others, loses them allies, friends, partners.

It acts like quicksand in that it compounds.

You feel sorry for yourself, you’re only going to feel more sorry for yourself. Everything in your life becomes something that happens to you, not something that it merely happening.

It’s a devious, insidious way of thinking that makes you the victim in cunning, passive-aggressive ways, and a man should be its opposite.

How does it show itself?

Maybe you get down, you feel like you’re not getting the breaks you want in life — self-pity is taking root.

Maybe you’re unhappy with how you look, feel like you have bad genetics or you’ve been given a bad break — again, self-pity.

Maybe you’re single, alone, and you think everyone else is the problem…

Or you’re in a dead-end marriage and you curse God, your wife, life, for where you’ve ended up.

There’s a pattern forming here…

It’s never your fault or responsibility to change your reality, in the pittier’s mind they’re always the victim, and thus, unable to change reality without some knight in shiny armour coming to save them.

But pity doesn’t have to be that overt.

It can seem small.

It can show itself in little bits of envy you feel toward others, or jealousy, or distain.

You see a rich fella in a Ferrari and your first thought is to degrade him… “Must be nice”, you think to yourself.

You create a story in your head where he’s a trust-fund prick, or he’s taken advantage of people to get that money, or he’s just an a-hole.

That’s self-pity.

How Should You Think?


All you have is your life, and time. And it’s your duty to make the best of it with every waking moment you have.

It’s your DUTY to improve.

Don’t compare yourself.

Don’t wish you had it different.

Don’t lament over what others have done or are doing, get off your ass and create your own legacy.

Don’t degrade other’s successes, praise them, be inspired by them.

Don’t degrade your own potential, the reality is you have no clue how big it actually is.

I’ve been there.

I’ve been there with a horrible attitude, feeling bad for myself that I was in a bad situation, money wasn’t coming in, I got down, lazy, sad, and useless.

It’s a cancerous feeling. It eats away at the host.

It ruins lives, claims potential, kills friendships, relationships, and legacies.

It guarantees you’ll be a failure.

So do not in any way give into any form of self-pity.

Never allow jealousy to enter your mind. Never — even a little — compare yourself to someone else. Never feel bad about where you are. Never ever ever ever allow yourself to be a victim.

You have a simple challenge:

Do the best you can, with what you have, where you are. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

That’s it.

Don’t wish you had someone else’s life.

Don’t even wish that you were doing better, just do better. It takes time, a ton of effort, persistence, and patience, but whatever you’re chasing can be won if the right attitude is your ally.

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Chad Howse

Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

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