Why this article on ‘how to know if you’re an alpha male’? Wouldn’t you just know? That’s kind of the point, most wouldn’t. Those that think they are rarely are, and those that don’t think about it at all, are.
This article is more for those who want to be at their best, which is what an alpha male is. Think of the alpha male as your potential in life. Potential cannot be attained if you’re weak, soft, and cowardly, just like it can’t be attained if you’re lazy, envious, and too proud.
Don’t call yourself an alpha male. Don’t try to cover up weakness with arrogance. Don’t think pushing others down is what an alpha male does. The very nature of being an alpha male is leadership. The greatest leaders led by example, they lifted others up and inspired…
…But the harsh reality is that no one is inspired by a loser.
So while you may want to be an alpha male, while you may think you’re an alpha male, while you may want to be at your best, it’s a lifelong pursuit of self-improvement. It’s not something that stops, ever, and arrogance will always lead to your downfall, no matter how many things on this list you can check off.
- You can fight.
When a man can’t fight, when he doesn’t have the skill nor the courage nor the mental fortitude nor the strength, he’s useless. If you have the tools, you must use those tools. If you’re injured, or unable, then use a gun, get great at using a firearm.
Regardless, the original purpose of men is one of protector. You’re at the edge of the cities gates, you’re the one who runs downstairs when a bad guy breaks into your house. Be useful in this purpose, you have to know how to fight, and it’s great if you also know how to use a gun. Bad guys don’t care if you’re ‘against guns’.
- You can earn.
The other original purpose of a man was to be a provider. In past times that meant hunting for food and being a good hunter. I still think that’s necessary. We need to hunt, as men, to get back to that original purpose, to be outdoors where we’re bred to be. But today we also have to earn.
It’s a man’s duty to earn enough to take care of his family. That’s a foundation of being an alpha male and a man. You don’t have to be rich, wealthy, or powerful, but you have to know how to earn enough to care for those dependent on you.
- You’re not an emotional wreck.
People look to those who are stable. You cannot be an alpha male if you’re constantly whining and bitching and moaning about your situation in life. You cannot be an alpha male if you’re always sad and crying when you don’t get your way.
You cannot be an alpha male if people don’t know who they’re going to get. They need stability, especially your lady. You cannot be the one flying off at the handle in cloud of rage every time something imperfect happens.
Control your emotions. Be stoic. You cannot control everything in your life, but you can control how you react to it.
Act from a position of love, caring, and strength. If you care for people, you recognize that, it’s tough to be such an emotional wreck.
- You’re not a pussy.
Yes, you have fears, but you don’t let them deter you from action. You have struggles but you face them. You get worried but you solve the problems you face.
You also don’t quit.
In short, you cannot be an alpha male and be a pussy.
You can’t be the guy who’s afraid to back his pals up in a fight. You can’t be the guy who’s afraid to work hard, to risk to try new things, to risk failure for success, and to risk his life for a little adventure.
- You lift others up.
An alpha male is a leader. Simple. That means there’s sacrifice in your life. You do not sacrifice your health or mental wellbeing, that makes you useless and unfit to lead.
Rather, you inspire. You show others what’s possible. You support them emotionally or physically. You don’t put others down – that’s never a good idea for long term success – rather, you lift them up.
- You’re a protector.
This goes beyond your family. Hopefully it’s just natural that you’re a protector of your family, but you should also aim to protect those who need your protection. You see a single guy getting beat up by a group, you step in. You see a lady being mistreated, you step in.
You’re a natural protector, you’re not the prick hitting the lady or one of the many beating up on a single fella – unless that fella was the guy hitting the lady, then have at it. No, you’re a protector, defender, giver of safety where safety seems impossible.
- You work hard.
Nothing is won without hard work. If you’re going to lead, reach your potential, get strong, provide for your family, you’d better be a hard worker.
- You’re not arrogant.
Arrogance is a lie. It’s something weak men use to cover up their insecurities. If you’re the kind of guy who has to strut around like a peacock, be loud, obnoxious, and have all the attention all of the time, rethink whether you’re arrogant of confident.
- You’re confident.
The greatest giver of confidence is overcoming obstacles.
Boxing, and getting good at fighting, gave me a ton of confidence. It quieted me. It made me sure of whether or not I could handle myself so I didn’t have to show that I could handle myself.
Overcoming obstacles in business did the same thing. Men win confidence not by thinking magically different, but by overcoming obstacles.
- You’re modest.
Modesty is the acknowledgment that you do not know it all, and that whatever you want to achieve will require discipline and hard work, you will not be able to coast to greatness because no one can.
Modesty is the foundation of both success and confidence.
- You’re ambitious.
Ambitions are truths, not lies. They’re not pipe dreams that shouldn’t be listened to. They’re your soul telling you what to pursue. They’re ideas into why you’re here, what will make you feel alive, and what you should sacrifice it all to achieve.
Everyone wants to follow someone who thinks bigger, on a more grand scale. Ambition, whether it’s to live an adventurous life or to build a legacy, is vital.
- You take care of yourself first.
How can you serve others and take care of yourself first? For an alpha male, for a guy who others depend on, this is necessary.
If you don’t take care of your health you won’t be there for your family for long, and you also won’t have the energy to provide for them.
If you don’t take care of your finances, again, you fail them.
You have to take care of yourself first, so you’re at your best to take care of others.
This requires planning. Structure your day so that you get your work done, your workout in, and your study time in (reading). Also schedule things in during the week that give you energy. For me this is hiking, shooting, archery. I need those things. If I don’t have them I’m grumpier, lack enthusiasm and energy.
Those things that feed your soul need to be a part of your life BEFORE you schedule family time. That way you’re at your best for those that depend on you.
- You’re disciplined.
You can’t depend on someone who lacks discipline. Discipline, furthermore, is a choice that everyone has access to. If you’re not disciplined it’s your fault. If you’re not disciplined you will die with regret.
If you want to become more disciplined, pick up my new book The Lost Art of Discipline on Amazon Here.
- You show courage.
More than just not being a pussy, you show courage. You go where others are afraid of going. Guys like Captain James Cook come to mind in this regard. Courage is contagious. It’s also required to live a good, full, fulfilling life.
It is better to be tough than it is to be soft.
You cannot escape that fact. Toughness comes from training, from doing the hard work, and from facing fears.
- You do your thing. You have vision, focus, a plan.
You follow. You have to follow at times in your life so you can learn how to lead. But you also do your own thing, ignoring what others say or think. You have clarity and the balls to act on those plans even when others may ridicule you for it.
This takes courage, but also clarity. Too often we don’t really know what we want. I find it necessary to get out into nature simply to hike, to struggle, to hunt, and to think to find clarity.
It’s harder to find clarity in a city, amidst the noise, and amidst the familiar.
Get out there.
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