Teddy’s massive, dogo argentino head is on my lap. He’s snoring loudly, so I have to turn the volume up on the TV. The movie that’s on is Darkest Hour, the brilliant film about Churchill’s insertion into the Prime Ministership during the conflict of the Second World War.
He wakes with a glass of scotch of his own, a cigar, champagne for lunch, and port and wine in the evening. He’s witty, crude, and sees there can be no peace with the evil that is the Nazi regime under the leadership of Adolph Hitler.
As western civilization stood on the brink of speaking German, we needed a man that would now be deemed as suffering from the affliction of ‘toxic masculinity’ at our healm. The truth is, what they’re (and by ‘they’ I primarily mean the APA, the American Psychological Association who came out with a report saying that masculinity is bad for those who are masculine) labeling as toxic, is actually quite good, even necessary, not only for the individual, but for the family (which is the most important institution of a free society), and for the society.
Of course, there was also the Gillette ad that some see as a call for men to be better, but others see as a company, or a group of social justice types, telling men that they’re what’s wrong with society. Of course, both men and women created the greatest and freest nations the world has ever seen, together, but heavily on the backs of men who built the roads and bridges, who fought the wars and built the homes.
I see it as the latter, as a company telling men that they’re the problem, that who they are is wrong, that the roughness and toughness is toxic, that their competitiveness is bad, is harmful to the fairer sex. Of course, they’re not separating the jerk from the man. They’re not exclaiming the truth, the fact that there are jerks in both sexes, but a jerk can only be stopped by a good man who has a greater capacity for danger.
This toxic masculinity, this toughness, brutality, and strength, is necessary in the hands of a good man. We need more good men with the capacity of danger than bad men with that same capacity.
On top of that, you will not tell a rapist not to rape and be successful. They’re evil, and telling them not to be evil isn’t a good defense or deterrent, it’s stupid. Yet, labeling all men as toxic is just as retarded, just as infantile.
The APA is where the real problem lies. Sure they’re a majority of feminist women who hate men. Sure they want more clients, more people with mental problems, not fewer. Yet they shape policy, they influence how we school our boys. Thus, let’s look at what they deem as toxic, and see that what they see as bad is actually good, is actually something that you should aspire to be not try to hide from or avoid or suppress or destroy.
From the APA:
“The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful.”
They go on to say:
“For example, a 2011 study led by Kristen Springer, PhD, of Rutgers University, found that men with the strongest beliefs about masculinity were only half as likely as men with more moderate masculine beliefs to get preventive health care (Journal of Health and Social Behavior, Vol. 52, No. 2). And in 2007, researchers led by James Mahalik, PhD, of Boston College, found that the more men conformed to masculine norms, the more likely they were to consider as normal risky health behaviors such as heavy drinking, using tobacco and avoiding vegetables, and to engage in these risky behaviors themselves (Social Science and Medicine, Vol. 64, No. 11).”
It is silly that they think not seeking out health care for who knows what issues, and smoking cigars, avoiding vegetables, and engaging in risky behaviors is an enemy that demands destruction.
The real issue, however, is with the wonderful qualities they deem as being a part of ‘toxic masculinity’, an absurd statement and label.
They make a man want to be more toxic. It will mean more happiness, more success, more power, a better family life, and more achievement. It’s as if they want to mold losers, only to leave a society eventually undefended, unsuccessful, and dependent on others for its care.
If you’re a man, and society is telling you that being a man is toxic, then you have no choice but to be as toxic as you can possibly be.
The Best a Man Can Be
Let’s look at the virtues – because that’s what they are, they’re not things to avoid, but attributes to develop – and how to best develop them.
The dictionary defines stoicism, in part, as the endurance of pain or hardship without the display of feelings and without complaint.
The whole purpose of life is to struggle well. The better you can struggle, the better your life will be. Life will not be devoid of struggle. Even the avoidance of struggle – ie. the avoidance of work or ambition or self-improvement – will bring upon even more struggle. You’ll be broke, fat, and useless.
Struggle is a constant. It’s the entirety of life. Those who struggle well, live well. Those who do not struggle well, live bad lives.
For resources on how to become more stoic, check out https://dailystoic.com/what-is-stoicism-a-definition-3-stoic-exercises-to-get-you-started/
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Competitiveness is both necessary for the individual and for society. Without competitiveness, we’d still be in caves. For the man, being competitive is how you improve, grow, and evolve, and how you make the lives for others around you better.
If you’re competitive, cultivate that competitiveness into success. It’s good to be successful. Some would say it’s necessary. It’s the act of inching closer to your potential.
From a hormonal standpoint, competition will create increases in testosterone, which is important. Men need testosterone as high testosterone levels lower your likelihood of experiencing depression, heart disease, certain cancers, and impotence.
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On the surface, dominance seems harsh, it seems like a bad thing to dominate others. But victory, high performance, being elite can be seen as being dominant.
Michael Jordan was most certainly dominant. Is there anything better than seeing someone who’s truly great at what they do? Everyone should aspire for dominance in that light.
To dominate is to be the best at what you do, and why would someone aim to do anything if they’re not trying to be the best? That simply makes no sense. It doesn’t make sense to try, one must always give their all or there’s really no point in attempting whatever it is you’re trying to do.
That they deem dominance as a negative attribute, makes me think of this quote taken from Theodore Roosevelt:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Let them criticise, while you’re in the arena, amongst the blood and sweat, winning.
Surely aggression is bad? Unless, of course, you need it. To put it bluntly, if a bad guy is attacking someone, a good guy needs to be aggressive to defeat the bad guy. We need more good men who are more dangerous than the bad men.
Aggression is a beautiful virtue when used correctly, and it’s good men who use it correctly. We cannot have a society filled with soft, weak, good men. If good men are soft, the bad men dominate.
Aggression is also the antidote to fear. In your own life, when you face adversity or long odds, face those obstacles not with a timid, soft soul, but with aggression. Meet your enemies on the battlefield of life and don’t take a step backward.
Be aggressive. Be dangerous. And in the eyes of the APA and Gillette, by all means, be toxic.
If you want to develop the virtues above, and others, along with developing your body to be stronger, healthier, and improve your ability to be dangerous and deadly, learn more about the Barbarian Virtues course, along with the 12 Virtues of Manliness, and the Average 2 alpha Tribe: