Home Stoic Manliness 10 STEPS TO BECOMING A MAN'S MAN





This site is called Average 2 Alpha.

It’s polarizing. If you don’t take the time to understand what the alpha is on this site, you’re likely to pass through without spending much time here.

If, however, you do read the articles on this site you’re going to see that ‘the alpha’ is simply the best man you can become.

Biology and society have some say in who this man is (you’re going to be strong, smart, dangerous, and accomplished), but you’re going to be able to define who he is and what he does based on your idea of the ideal.

Within the framework of what a man is, you’re going to be able to craft your ideal.

We need that framework, though.

We need to understand what it is to be a man, so that we can build on something solid, and build something lasting.

This definition includes ‘the man’s man’.

Women want him and men want to be him.

A couple years ago I packed my life into a trailer, latched it on to the back of my truck, and drove from Vancouver to Calgary to live in a new town, in a house I’d just bought.

I was excited as can be.

Halfway through what should have been a 9 or 10 hour drive, my GMC 2500 started overheating.

I used to work at a mechanic shop, so I knew a bit about trucks, but this was something I couldn’t fix. I’d fill the thing with coolant, it would be fine for 30-minutes, then it would overheat again.

I popped the hood, poured more coolant in, then saw it dripping through to the ground beneath the engine. There was a hole in the pipe, hence the coolant wasn’t actually getting to where it needed to be.

Out of my league, I called a tow truck.

We were in the middle of nowhere on a long weekend and the garage’s in town would most likely be completely closed.

I drove around with the tow truck fella until we found a guy working on his own vehicle in a garage he ran. This was long-past closing hours. We weren’t going to get the right pipe from the parts shop, so he could have easily turned me away and told me to deal with it two days from then when all of the shops re-open. But he didn’t.

He welcomed me into his shop after a long day and began taking a look. Ten minutes into helping me out he got a call from his wife, whom he told he’d be a while. Twenty minutes after that his wife came by the shop and brought the both of us a little bite to eat.

He continued to work on my truck and within an hour I was set to go with a makeshift tube taking the place of the rubber pipe that had a gaping hole in it and I was back on the road.

That mechanic was a man’s man. He didn’t say many words. He was ready to help when someone else needed it. We know who these guys are. We’ve grown up with them as our father’s, uncle’s, brothers.

They hunt, fish, fight, enjoy sports and a beer, and they’re the rock that others build their lives upon.

They’re also a dying breed.

But they don’t have to be.

Odds are you’re reading this because you don’t want to be lumped together with the pussies and pansies that are making up an increasingly large majority of our males in society.

You want to be a man’s man. You want to be the rock of your household. You want to be self-reliant and tough. You want to be the guy who does what has to be done, not what he wants to do in the moment.

1. Define your ideal.

Men need a pursuit.

Women need men to have a pursuit.

I get emails daily about how to attract women and how to keep them. On some level, it’s not about the woman, it’s about whether or not you wake up with a purpose.

Women are attracted to men who are improving, growing, conquering, and winning.

This is great!

You need to win to feel as though you were here for a reason, and while you’re at it you get to attract women, awesome.

Define what you want in life and who you want to become.

We’re going to talk about this more in #9, for now, though, do this:

Write down your perfect day, if you had to live that day for the rest of your life. Where do you life? Who do you wake up next to? What do you do for work? What are your hobbies? Get in detail about the sights and sounds and smells and write it all down. Make it a short story about your ideal day.

2. Find archetypes.

Before you find archetypes, go back over your ideal and multiply it.

I’ve done that exercise before, then I’ve hung around with a pal or two who’s thinking on a bigger level and I’ve had to go back and revise.

The simplest way to do this from a numbers standpoint is to 10x everything. Make it bigger, then reverse engineer how you’re going to accomplish it.

Then, find people who’ve done what you want to do. Real people. In your industry and niche or even the realm of entrepreneurship or whatever you’re tackling.

Study them.

See what they did right and where they had to learn a tough lesson.

Find archetypes in history as well. (Read This: 5 Models of Manliness)

If you want to live an adventurous life, study Shackleton or Theodore Roosevelt. Read about Captain James Cook and David Livingstone.

If you want to become rich, study Carnegie and Rockefeller. Both began life poor but ended wildly wealthy.

Find guys who’ve laid the path and see what they did. Learn.

The definitions of what it is to be a man’s man won’t include wealth, and I don’t think they have to. They should, however, include accomplishment.

Whether you’re an accomplished businessman, hunter, fisher, outfitter, explorer, writer, or whatever, you need to be good – even great – at something to fulfill your purpose and reason for being here. Hence, defining that thing and doing all you can to make it a reality is a must.

3. Become a jack of all trades.

Know how to fix your truck – or at least the basics of auto repair.

Know how to hunt and fish.

Be the guy others go to for help and be the guy who doesn’t have to call another guy for help.

The best way to do this, oddly enough, is to ask for help!

I had a neighbour who recently passed away (God bless the guy), who helped me with a lot of stuff around my house. He showed me how to fix this and that and now I can do it on my own. Without him it would have been tough.

My old man has a library full of ‘for Dummies’ books, and now uses youtube when he can’t figure something out on his own. He’s done a great job with my folk’s house.

4. Work with your hands no matter what your work may be.

We need to create something with our hands.

Work is becoming abstract in that we do something or sell something and money is deposited into our account electronically.

Less and less do we create things with our hands, but the joy that comes from actually creating things and building things cannot be replicated by the abstractness of sales or marketing.

It’s important to at the very least have a hobby, or go through the frustration of fixing things in your home or vehicle. We need the tangible of building and fixing, not just the monetary gains of a career.

5. Learn chivalry.

Become a man, then become a gentleman.

Be dangerous and strong, but kind, caring, and thoughtful. (Read This: 7 Ways to Be The Man She Needs You to Be)

Open the door for a lady. Pay the bill, don’t go ‘dutch’. Put others first. Learn manners. Have the capacity for brutality but hide it.

6. Learn how to fight.

Men have more muscle mass, stronger bones, and our hormones reward fighting, aggression, and victory.

That is, testosterone surges when we win, when we compete, and when we fight. (Read This: Why You Need to Fight)

Learn who to become the last line of defense. Learn how to be dangerous.

You’re both the provider and the protector. You cannot be either if you’re also a victim.

7. Learn how to shoot.

You may not like it but a gun is the best form of self-defense you can have.

If you expect to defend your home, your land, from an armed intruder without arming yourself, you’re being silly and irresponsible.

No matter how unlikely it is that your house is going to get broken into, learn how to defend it with the best, most efficient method on the market.

It’s also the most humane way to kill an animal so you can eat it.

8. Become the best at what you do.

Don’t settle for good, aim for great.

This isn’t motivational bullshit. You’re here, and you have a couple options while you’re here.

You either go for the motions, waste the gifts you’ve been given and the time you have, or you do the best with what you have and with where you are.

Those are your options. Why in God’s great name would you settle for anything less than the best if the best is an option?

It makes no sense to fall into the rut of mediocrity when you can get up earlier, work harder, learn more, and attempt what few others are willing to attempt. (Read This: Fighting Mediocrity)

As a man, there should be no choice. It’s your duty to be at your best, to constantly improve.

9. Define your code.

Who are you and what do you stand for?

How can you live a great, meaningful, masculine life if you don’t know what you stand for?

How can you lead if you don’t know why you’re leading and where you’re leading?

Define your code.

John Wayne said, a man’s gotta have a code, a creed to live by.

I wholeheartedly agree.

There’s so much uncertainty in our world that we need to know what we live for and we need to have an idea, a set of rules, virtues, and values that guide us.

Define that code today. Don’t spend another day wandering. March forward and bring others with you.

When times get tough – and they will – it’s this code that will guide your actions and your decisions.

10. Have the courage to be the man, ignorant of the trends.

The man’s man is the constant.

Though trends and fads come and go, he remains true to who he is.

The code I mentioned in the previous point is necessary.

My old man has a code. He’s been a constant throughout my life. Through ups and downs and hardships, he’s remained steady.

Faith has a lot to do with this. It’s easier to define why you’re here and how you act when you have something greater guiding you, but even if you don’t, define what values guide your actions.

Whether you’re a Christian or not, read the book of Proverbs. Read it like a book, not like a Bible.

It’s a great guide to living a good, fruitful, and strong life.



About The Author

Chad Howse: Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

You can contact him at –


  1. The archetype you describe you reminds me a lot of Sam Elliot and his character in the TV show The Ranch. True to values, deeds and family.

    A quote I really love that you’d appreciate is something like “In a world full of Dan Bilzerians, we need more Chris Kyles”.

    Great stuff as always man.


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Chad Howse

Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

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