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What Do You Have to Kill Off to Become Who You Want to Become?




What do you have to kill off to become who you want to become?

Life passes by most of us without ever taking the time to ask important questions that can reshape our lives for the better.

We don’t ask what we have to kill off, remove, destroy, we simply go on living as we have because that’s all we’ve done – even if it’s the wrong way of living.

The wrong way of living is any way of living that’s a degraded version of what your potential could and should be. (read: how a man gains confidence)

That doesn’t mean a life without mistakes, because risk requires mistakes, and risk is necessary for both growth, improvement, and fun.

It isn’t a life without failure because failure is how we learn.

It is a life without quitting, without lying and deceit, a life without laziness and possibly one devoid of ease – too much ease for sure.

We have to ask these questions to become who you must become, which is who we can become, that carrot dangling forever in front of our faces that is our potential.

Within our potential is greater creation, greater work, greater meaning, importance, love, power, happiness, struggle, resilience, and a far greater legacy.

It’s what has to exist.

Improvement by removal. 

What isn’t, what doesn’t have to be done, shouldn’t be done, has to be removed, is clearer than its opposite – what should be done, what has to be done, what should be added.

It’s better, often at least, to focus on what has to be killed off than what has to be added.

It’s just as productive to determine who you want to become – thereby who you must become – by defining precisely who you do not want to become.

The act of killing is finite. Its end is definite. Thus, determining what you ought to kill off to become who you want to become should be as well.

These things that you kill off are dead. They do not resurface. What’s left is the man minus the shackles.

Who you ought to be/don’t want to be…

Define what you don’t want to be to get what you want to be.

I’m guessing you don’t want to be lazy or broke, weak and fat, a liar and a thief, a coward, a man who never takes risks or embarks on dangerous adventures.

The opposite will be simple and clear, a wealthy, successful, strong fella who’s in great shape, who lives life, enjoys life, works hard and sees results from his work.

What has to be killed off?

To get a wee personal, my odd belief that I’m not worthy of what I want has to be killed off.

I have to kill off the habit of comparing where I am to where I want to be (where I am not, yet) or to where others are.

This list will typically include:

  • Laziness
  • Bad spending habits
  • Fear of risk
  • Fear of harm
  • Fear of failure
  • Doubt
  • Doubt again, because that’s a big and useless one, it’s a choice to see things in a negative light when other choices can be made

Make the list and kill it off.

Murder in cold blood the negative parts of you, the habits, the weaknesses that hold you back.

Write them on paper and cross them out.

They’re done.

They don’t exist any longer.

Instead of being the guy who has big plans, be the guy who makes big moves.

Don’t spend any more time as anything less than who you are without these negatives, which is someone who’s bound to be pretty incredible.

And keep the faith, keep the grit and resilience that time needs to prove to you just who you can become and what you can achieve.

Get after it.


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Chad Howse

Chad’s mission is to get you in the arena, ‘marred by the dust and sweat and blood’, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear, and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live.

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